13. Skyler
13
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I don’t want to be here. As a matter of fact, I told Cash I needed to get to the Pearl to rehearse a new set the me and the girls have been wanting to work on for this weekend. I’ve been out of sorts since leaving Ethan standing there with his pants still undone, as he watched me run out on him last night.
I was so convinced if I let myself have him one time, I could heal the hurt in my heart and finally let him go.
I am such a fool.
I cried myself to sleep. Hating myself for giving into my need for him. I know better than to let my weaknesses get the better of me. I’ve fought off the need for him every single time I watched him fight. I wanted to go to him, tell him everything and make shit right between us. But I never did it.
He never even knew I was there.
Like last night. I was right there with him, and he had no clue. To him, I was Scarlet, his fantasy girl come true. The fuck of a lifetime. It was for me at least. It was probably one of many to him.
One more notch to add to his belt.
If the rumors I’ve heard are true, now that Ethan has had Scarlet, he’ll move on. I probably won’t see him at the Pearl after last night. There’s no challenge for him anymore. He got what he wanted.
Instead of dwelling on my fucked up moment of weakness, I shift my focus to the Pearl and what Vincenzo is asking of me.
With Violet leaving, Vincenzo called me and asked if I’d like to do a couple solo performances like the one, I did last night. He said the audience loved it. People were talking about it long after I left for the night. Changing up the current set would go a long way to make room for another headliner since I’ll be leaving soon myself.
Ethan definitely loved it.
NO! I promised myself I wouldn’t dwell on what transpired between us. I never should’ve done it.
Don’t get me wrong, it was amazing. My body was still buzzing this morning, my traitorous pussy was wet and wanting when I woke up. I knew it was a terrible idea, but I’ve longed for his touch, to feel him inside me again for so long. I know he hates me, but I figured letting him have Scarlet was the only way to give us both what we were starving for.
That’s enough Sky! Stop dwelling on it!
I need to focus on the problem at hand.
I still have a babysitter, and unless it’s Cash, I can’t get to the Pearl. He’s the only one who knows about my job there and I’m certain if I took a prospect out there with me to spend the day while I worked, they’d have to call Gabe and rat me out.
So, I did what any girl in my position would…I begged Cash this morning, bribing him with more time with Sherrie and of course, my undying devotion as his best friend in the entire world. When we pulled into the clubhouse yard, he gave me some bullshit about needing to get through church first, then maybe he could take me, but he wasn’t going to promise in case Gabe or Eli made a liar out of him.
What sucks is church could be ten minutes or ten fucking hours. It depends on what these assholes have to discuss and if they can keep the conversation on track.
Not likely.
As soon as I walk past Ethan, my body ignites. I’m so screwed.
Cash asked me if I was okay last night and all I could say was ‘fine’. I couldn’t tell him what I did. He knew something was wrong. Of course he did. Santiago drove me home and told Cash to meet me there. While the guys all thought he was with his favorite backroom delight, he was actually escaping out the backdoor to meet me at the house.
I don’t bother talking to anyone, I don’t know what I’d say if I tried. Instead, I make my way across the floor toward the kitchen in search of something to eat.
Candi’s hanging around the common room vying for the guys’ attention. Drea and Rachel are talking near the stage. Yep, the clubhouse has a stage with three poles attached. I’m sure they’re for Ghost’s girls when they come to entertain the men. I pause to take in the sight. They appear to be discussing some type of dance moves, I think.
I smile to myself when I think about how they’d all react if they knew I could teach my uncle’s girls a thing or two about dancing for money. I may not have tips being shoved in my G-string, but I can damn sure bet Vincenzo pays me a helluva lot more than those girls see in a night, and I don’t have to suck cock to earn it.
I laugh to myself at the thought.
I keep moving and pass through the kitchen doors deciding I don’t need to be left alone with the club girls. After how embarrassed Rachel was at the funeral, I don’t suspect she’d be so happy to spend time with me anyway.
The memory of Caleb putting her in her place brings an even bigger smile to my face.
In the fridge I find all the fixings for a sandwich and toss them on the center island. I grab the mustard and mayo and add them to the pile. I find the bread in the cabinet next to the fridge along with paper plates and cups. I toss a plate down, grab a knife from the block, and begin putting my sandwich together when I hear two feminine voices coming my way.
“If he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him, you need to let his sorry ass go, babe. Go find you one of those college guys you’re always telling me about. See how the other side lives.”
“You’re one to talk Sadie Jay. You don’t think I know who you’re pining after? You’re in the same boat as me. Admit it. You can’t let go of the hope of something happening any more than I can.” Jayde snaps. I clear my throat, so they know they’re not alone before Sadie loses her shit and starts spewing information, I’m sure she doesn’t want anyone else to know.
“Oh, hey Sky. What are you doing here?” Jayde asks, turning her full attention to me and ignoring Sadie’s glare.
I lift my sandwich and take large bite. “Eating.” I manage around my food.
“Damn, that looks good. You got any more?” Sadie asks, snatching the bread and a plate for herself.
“Help yourself.” I chuckle.
They both start making sandwiches and making themselves at home. I guess it’s only fair. They grew up here, so I guess it is their home. Jayde’s dad in the original club enforcer, her brother the SAA. Sadie happens to be under the ward of Jayde’s parents, but she’s also Gabe’s niece and Caleb and Liz’s granddaughter. They both have MC blood running through their veins.
“So, what two idiots are we discussing?” I ask, not making eye contact, hoping to make easy conversation.
“No two in particular. Just men in general. They’re oblivious, pig-headed, egotistical assholes.” Jayde says as she smashes her bread together.
“Uh, huh. And what brought about this epiphany?” I try to hold my smile back. I don’t necessarily disagree with their assessment, but I am curious who they’re talking about. I’m certain Jayde is referring to Blake, the prospect she’s been hung up on. But even I know that he won’t touch her with a ten-foot pole. He can’t without permission from her dad. He’s a prospect. If he were to be caught messing around with Jayde, not only would he get the beat down of his life, but he’d also lose his cut. Not one of these guys is going to risk their cut for a woman.
“They’re all lead by their dick. It’s the only brain that works and it’s only got a few cells to work with.” Sadie states nonchalantly.
I laugh. So does Jayde. But the laughter dies off quickly when music starts to thump through the clubhouse speakers.
“What the hell?”
We all walk through the kitchen doors, and I about choke when I see the shitshow in front of me. Drea, Candi, and Rachel are all on the stage attempting what I assume is meant to be a sexy dance routine, only it looks like a group of gyrating cows. They’re off beat, not a lick of rhythm between the three, and I’m not sure what the hell they’re doing with their hips but it’s not dancing.
Jayde and Sadie bust out laughing. “Are they trying to fuck the pole?” Sadie chokes out. I’m too confused to laugh. I’m stunned silent.
The three stop, when they notice us by the bar watching them.
“You’re just jealous.” Rachel snaps, her words directed at Jayde. But they miss their target since Jayde hasn’t caught her breath enough to hear her. But Sadie however doesn’t miss a beat.
“Jealous? Of what? Three rhythmless cumsters?”
“What did you call us?” Drea snaps.
“Cumsters…ya know. It’s like Bennifer, or Briley. It’s when you smash two names together. In this case I smashed cum and dumpster. Cumster.” She throws her hands out gesturing to the three women. At this point Jayde is in tears, holding her belly as she laughs, barely able to catch her breath.
“What exactly was that you were doing there?” I ask, because, seriously, I have to know.
“If you must know, we were dancing like the girls at that fancy club, The Velvet Pearl. I heard Ethan has a thing for that kind of stuff, so we were practicing.”
That does it. I throw my head back and lose my shit in laughter.
Once I catch my breath, I catch Candi standing with her hand on her hip pissed as shit glaring at me which only serves to make me laugh harder.
I finally get ahold of myself and have to let them know, “What you were doing there, is nothing like the routines they do at the Pearl, I can assure you.”
“That looked more like clodhoppin’ heifers in heels. I have never seen anything that ridiculous in a gentlemen’s club.” Sadie cackles. I don’t ask when she was last in a gentlemen’s club since she’s not quite eighteen yet. There’s something that tells me she’s serious though which leads me to believe I’m safer not knowing the answer to the unasked question.
“Oh, really. Like you three could do any better?” Candi snaps. Maybe it’s because I don’t like her. Maybe it’s the challenge in her voice speaking to something deep inside of me. She’s doing this to get Ethan’s attention. Scarlet’s Ethan.
My blood turns cold at the thought of Candi having him. Hell, I don’t like the fact that Scarlet has had him.
Let’s not analyze my own jealousy for the fictious woman Ethan’s crazy about who is ME! It’s beside the point.
I snap my neck and move toward the DJ table, unplugging the phone connected to the system blaring some bullshit hip-hop music.
Genuine, My Pony. I roll my eyes. “Pole dancing is for girls who work at Glitz and Tass not a classy gentlemen’s club.” I scoff. “The women who dance at the Pearl train during the day. They practice complete dance routines as a group. They make a show out of every song. And they do it all without rubbing anal floss and gold painted poles in their ass.”
I’d never let my girls dance to this cliché shit.
Pulling out my iPod, I connect it to the speaker system, select my song, and make my way to the stage. I’m nowhere near dressed for this type of show, in my cutoff shorts and t-shirt, but I don’t need my costume here. Bitch wants a show, I’ll give her one.
Six Feet Deep by Royale Lynn pumps through the speakers and I instantly allow myself to get lost in the music. I start moving across the stage, swaying to the music like I’ve done this a thousand times. Because I have. My t-shirt gets tossed over in the corner of the stage leaving me in my sports bra and shorts. I move past the pole at center stage and start moving in rhythm to the music, pulling my ponytail out, letting my hair swish and sway with my movements. I walk across the stage owning every inch of the wood floor, caressing my skin, snapping my hips to the beat.
This is my fucking element.
I drop to my knees, pulling my hands through my hair, scissoring my legs running my hand from my center to my throat and back again.
This is where I fell the freest.
Jayde and Sadie whistle and shout for me. I wave them both up, to join me on the stage. They jump up and follow along. They pick up the routine quick.
“Hell yeah, baby. Show ‘em what you got girl!” Sadie shouts. We’re having a blast. The song switches and we change things up. By the third song, we’re all vibing off each other and I feel a hundred pounds lighter.
This is what I needed.
Sadie and Jayde start dancing together.
“Jayde lean your torso back. Keep swaying together. Now Sadie, drag your fingers lightly from under Jayde’s chin to navel, then repeat the opposite from your navel to neck, then through your hair like this. Taking Sadie’s hands, I place her in front of me and show her exactly what I mean. Jayde hollers, “Damn that’s hot!” Everything comes to an abrupt halt when we hear several loud male voices shouting from across the room.
“What the fuck?”
“Oh, Hell no!”
“The fuck is this?”
And a loud as hell whistle, I know to be Cash’s smart ass.
Mack, Jake, Hawk, and Ethan are all storming the stage. Sadie rolls her eyes. Jayde becomes shy all the sudden. And I’m confused as fuck.
The music stops, and before I can make sense of it all, my arm’s being pulled. I’m off the stage and being dragged by Ethan out of the clubhouse doors into the yard. He slams me against the wall. Caging me in.
My breath stutters out of me with the impact of the wall, but I don’t say anything. I don’t’ know what I would say if I could form words. He looks enraged.
But why? What the hell is his problem?
He steps back, running his hands through his hair, pacing in front of me.
“What the hell was that?” He growls, finally stopping in front of me.
I still don’t know what to say, so I don’t. I stare at him like the conundrum he is.
“Answer my Sky? What the fuck were you thinking dancing on that stage like that? In that?” He gestures to my sports bra and shorts. I don’t know what comes over me, but I laugh. Not a chuckle, a full-blown belly laugh. He’s md at my sports bra and shorts when I wear so much less on the stage at the Pearl. The irony is too much.
“You know that stage is used for, Sky? That’s where Ghost’s strippers perform for the club. Where they fuck each other and brothers for all our entertainment. Is that what you want to do? You come all the way here and decide you’re going to start stripping and acting like a whore? Huh?
Something inside my chest pulls tight like a rubber band and then in a split second…it snaps.
“So, what if I did? Huh? What’s it to you anyway? You fucking hypocrite! I know you watch women wearing far less than this doing far more seductive things than what we were doing, so it’s not that you don’t like it. But when the three of us get up there, in an empty room, dancing and having fun, for ourselves, you all lose your goddamn minds!”
“How do you even know how to dance like that, Sky? This isn’t you! You don’t do shit to get attention, so explain to me how the bookworm became a seduction expert. Enlighten me!” He’s shouting at me. We’re nearly nose to nose now. My hearts thumping, my breathing is coming in pants, but so are his.
I bypass the last part because fuck him. He doesn’t need to know anything about me.
“For your information I was teaching your club whore how to dance properly. Trust me, Candi needs more than one lesson. You can thank me later.” The last five words are dripping with sarcasm.
Asshole.
“You were…I can…Are you….ugggghhh” He closes the gap and slams his lips on mine. I don’t kiss him back. I’m stunned. When I don’t respond, Ethan grabs my hair, pulling slightly, causing me to gasp. He swipes his tongue into my mouth, ravishing the hell out of it.
He’s kissing me. Skyler! Not Scarlet.
I give in, my body melting into his, our tongues dueling for control. He groans, pulling my hair a little harder, inflicting just the right amount of pain. I reach up, wrapping my hands around his nape, dragging my nails across the back of his neck. Again, he growls, but he doesn’t stop kissing the hell out of me.
I lift one leg up wrapping it around his waist attempting to pull him closer. I need him closer. I need friction. Something. My core is on fire and dripping wet with need. But almost as fast as it started, the kiss ends.
Ethan pulls off me forcing my leg to drop to the ground. He’s both, shoving me to the wall while jumping back enough to make space between us. I’m shocked and Ethan stands staring straight through me.
“Ethan?” I whisper his name. His eyes narrow. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but the storm I see staring back at me should be enough to scare me away, but I can’t get my feet to move from this spot.
“Fuck. FUCK!” he shouts. “God damnit! This wasn’t...I wasn’t… I don’t want this! You! I don’t want you! I hate you! This shit…” he waves between us, “it can’t happen. It’s not going to happen again. You hear me? I don’t want you. What I want is you gone from Oak Ridge and out of my fucking life!”
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, erasing what we just shared, looking at it with the utmost disgust.
Rage.
That’s what this feeling is.
Pure. Unadulterated. Rage.
Deep breaths, Sky.
I shore up my walls. Lock my armor in place. I will not let him see how he managed to shattered my heart.
I move off the wall and tilt my head. Ethan’s standing with his legs spread, his hands on his hips, shaking his head, looking past me like I’m not even here.
Allow me to introduce myself, motherfucker.
When Ethan finally looks up at me, I don’t hesitate. I swing my leg, sweeping his feet out from underneath him. He wasn’t expecting the move, and winds up on his ass on the ground staring up at me confused as all hell. I lean down where he’s staring at me dumbfounded, I lean in close enough for him to hear me whisper, “Fuck you, Ethan. I’m not leaving Oak Ridge. I already did that once for you, I’m not doing it again.”
“Who are you, Skyler?” Ignoring his question, I step over him and head for the clubhouse door. Cash comes out carrying my shirt and bag taking in the scene in front of him. When sees Ethan on the ground and asks, “Do I need to kill him?” Cash narrows his eyes on me, searching for marks, evidence Ethan physically assaulted me. He knows I don’t strike unless it’s deserved.
“No. He didn’t hurt me.”
When he finds none, he looks back to Ethan who’s finally standing up, his hand gripping the back of his neck. A sure sign he’s trying to reign his shit in.
Bless his heart.
“What did he do then?”
“Made assumption.” I shrug, walking past Cash heading for the truck.
I hear Cash taunting Ethan behind me. “That’s becoming a habit for you. Getting your ass handed to you by a girl. Maybe you should think about postponing your fight with Vargas until you learn to read your opponent.” Cash laughs, then rushes to catch up to me.
“You all right, babe?” Cash puts his arm around my shoulder, asking quietly.
“Sure. I’m peachy.”
Cash opens the truck door, looks me in the eyes, and says, “Whiskey, costumes, hard music, and a stage you can hide on?” I nod. Cash always knows what I need. He’s the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.
*********