Chapter 22
CEZAR
My arousal climbed so fast it felt like my dick was about to explode.
Every second Lina spent digging through that bag turned me primal.
It had been too damn long since I had anything close to this—close to her.
As shameful as it sounded in my own head, this was the only way I ever really felt pleasure.
I was so unbelievably fucked.
The way she moved… Jesus. Even when she was terrifying, something about her steadied me—she pulled my mind out of the hell it normally lived in. I lifted myself as much as the restraints allowed, trying to see what she was picking out.
She placed a few items on the table beside the bed. One I recognized instantly—nipple clamps. The other—no idea. I didn’t have time to guess. She reached for the clamps first.
She circled my nipples, pinching rhythmically, as if she were testing me, toying with me. My breathing became erratic again. Then she attached the first one.
Hot pain shot through my chest, my head hitting the pillow with a quiet grunt. The second clamp followed—still brutal, but at least I knew what was coming. God, the pain made me ache for her. I wanted to fuck her so damn badly.
My mind drifted, fantasizing about how far she would go, when something hot splattered onto my stomach. Another drop on my chest then another near my collarbone.
A hiss escaped me. “Fuck…” I winced.
The wax felt like it was searing straight through my skin.
Lina didn’t pause. She guided the drips higher until they trailed toward the clamps—one, two, three slow drops, that made me arch.
The cuffs and I were fighting against each other.
They held firm, thick enough to hold someone exactly like me.
“You like that? I can tell you do. Look at you… God, look at you, Cezar.”
The candlelight washed over her face, turning her into something wicked and regal. She reveled in every twitch of pain she wrung out of me. And all I could think was how fucking divine she looked with power dripping off her like venom.
She set the toys aside and straddled me, and the pressure of her settling onto my painfully hard dick made my breath falter. “Petal…” The word escaped my lips involuntarily, tangled in that aching pleasure.
“What? Is there something you want, something you need?” Her mouth brushed my neck, soft and slow, and that gentle kiss nearly sent me straight to oblivion.
I spasmed, trying to move against her, doing anything to find relief. She glided her hand over my cock through my pants, and a groan tore out of me.
“You are not being a very good boy, are you?” Her voice was tinged with disappointment.
Fuck, I wanted to be good. I wanted to give her every obedient inch of myself, and more. The words were right there, but before I could speak, her hand covered my mouth.
My breathing stumbled. She forced me to drag air through my nose, slow and controlled, and I tried—God, I tried—but desire was flooding me too hard, too fast.
When my breathing steadied, Lina used both hands to cover my mouth and nose. My jaw clenched, and my eyes went wide. Sometimes when Lina looked at me, I saw hatred, and it made my heart ache.
My pulse thundered in my ears. Tremors rolled through my muscles. The room tilted. My chest tightened, vision fraying at the edges. My instincts begged me to fight, to break free, to breathe, but I didn’t move.
I didn’t fucking dare.
Overwhelming panic flowed through me. My fingers dug into the sheets, the only part of me I could still control, trying to attach myself to the bed or to her. To anything that kept me from unraveling completely. Air faded away. My mind spun.
Was this her plan all along?
Was she going to wreck me the way only she could?
The fear swallowed me, pulling me under. My eyes shut on instinct, and no matter how frantically I tried to open them, they didn’t. I was alone again in the dark of my mind, drowning in my past.
Make it stop… stop, stop… Petal… please… save me.
Tears spilled over, hot against skin gone cold. If this was how it ended, I could accept it. If it was her, if it was Lina, then maybe the end wasn’t something to fear. So, I did nothing. Let time stretch into a dense, suffocating eternity.
This is the end… Petal, I lov—
“Cezar. CEZAR!”
I still couldn’t open my eyes, but air hit my lungs like a resurrection. She was shaking me—hard.
“Cezar, hey, look at me. Cezar, goddammit, open your eyes.” And that was all it took. One command from her and everything snapped back into focus.
Lina’s face hovered above me, tears sparkling at the corners of her eyes, making her anger collapse into something far worse—grief. Real fucking grief. The sight gutted me more than the panic ever could. I never wanted to be the reason she cried.
I tried to smile—weak, pathetic—but before anything came out, she spoke.
“Cezar…” Her hands threaded through my hair with such gentle care. It felt so good when she touched me tenderly.
She held my gaze, making sure I was back, fully back, and whispered, “You’re safe. I got you. You’re safe. Deep breaths, Cezar. Breathe with me, okay?” She stuttered like she needed it just as badly as I did.
I followed her inhale, her exhale. Hung on to every sound. Every word. Did she really care? Or was I constructing some illusion to keep myself from shattering again? I didn’t know what was real anymore.
Why did Lina stop? I hadn’t given the gesture. I hadn’t done anything except spiral. She unbuckled the straps slowly, almost afraid to rush me, and my arms felt limp at my sides. I just lay there, spent and hollowed out, staring up at her as she searched my face.
I ruin everything.
She laid her body on my chest, and I felt her breathing. I wanted to hold her so fucking badly, but I didn’t move. I didn’t trust myself yet.
“Cezar…” Hesitantly, she sat up. Her hair slid forward, brushing my shoulder, trailing down my ribs. The worry was written all over her face. She was fighting not to fidget, not to look away from me, keeping herself together so I could find my footing again.
“Cezar, it’s okay to have boundaries. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to tell me to stop, to use the safe word.”
My tears returned, uninvited. I hated them and needed them at the same time.
She leaned closer, eyes traveling across my features before they landed on my mouth.
She kissed me. Soft at first, patient in a way no one had ever been with me.
Every slow, deliberate peck loosened something tight in my chest. My eyes shut, not from fear this time but from the kind of pleasure that made me go weak.
Finally, someone worthy of my pain.
I moved my hands to caress her sides, eventually finding a place on her back, pushing her body against me.
The sounds she made were addictive. I was greedy, and I wanted what was mine.
I pushed my tongue into her mouth, and she met me with the same hunger, both of us chasing breath only when survival demanded it.
Even then, I didn’t let go. We stayed like that, tangled with the air heavy and warm around us.
Her fingers wiped the tears from my cheeks, erasing the pain from existence.
Then her touch moved down my collarbone, slow as hell, until she reached my nipple.
The sudden snap of the clamp made my entire body jolt, a harsh hiss ripping out of me.
Fuck. That hurt. Then she soothed the sting with her thumb, gentle circles that dragged a low sound from my throat.
Her movements trailed lower. Her hair tickled my stomach, my hips, every nerve under my skin. She pulled my pants down, and when my cock sprang free, the quick flash across her face nearly undid me. She didn’t stop.
One hand wrapped around my cock, and the other cupped my balls.
I almost lost it right there. Then her mouth closed around my length, and heat swallowed me.
I choked on a groan, gripping the sheets, forcing my hips flat to the mattress because the last thing I wanted was to shove myself down her throat without her permission.
With careful restraint, I cradled the back of her head. I ached to touch her everywhere, drown myself in her. Even with the overwhelming pleasure tearing through me, I couldn’t stop marveling at how good she was.
Her teeth grazed along my cock—a shock that snapped my head up. Her lips curled around me with that sly little smile—the one that told me she knew exactly what she was doing to me.
Then she swallowed me whole.
“Ah, fuck, Petal, fuck…” The words shook out of me in broken pieces as my body jerked from the force of it. She took every bit of it.
When she finally pulled up, I forced myself upright, though my limbs felt useless. The rush was fading, and I was trembling from the intensity of it all. “I didn’t mean to—”
I shut up instantly when she licked her lips with an affectionate look. I cleared the strands from her face and held her there. Leaned in. She met me halfway. I could taste both of us on her tongue. Sin and sweetness. She was heaven. Maybe I had already died.
If only she’d let me drown in her love.
Then, out of nowhere, we both started laughing. Probably because we were terrible at handling serious shit. Her laugh, though, I’d burn the world down to hear it again and again.
“Cezar, I’ll be right back, okay?” There was uncertainty in her voice, like she didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want her to go, but I knew she’d return. I trusted her.
Lina got off the bed, smoothing herself out, still catching her breath. One last look, and she stepped away, leaving me waiting for her. I found solace in the simple fact that for now, she was mine.