Chapter 36
CEZAR
I savored every second she worked me over, letting the pleasure stretch out her presence, her life.
When she pulled the gag from my mouth, strings of spit clung to it.
Fuck, I felt disgusting and still so fucking turned on.
The longer I was with her, the more I learned about myself—things I didn’t think I’d ever admit out loud.
I loved that she liked experimenting with me, on me, making me unravel in ways no one could.
She cleaned up her toys, then returned with a warm towel, wiping me down with careful motions. Every kiss she pressed to my thighs sent a ripple of pleasure through me. I toyed with her hair, basking in the calm that followed the play.
“I know you don’t want me to go, Cezar, but I have to. Be a good boy and wait for me, yea?” She looked at me with her big, beautiful eyes.
“Please, Petal, be safe.” The more we talked and the more we were around each other, the more the emotions took over.
She gave a small nod, grabbed her bag, and left. Engines rumbled outside, and when the sound finally dissipated, the house felt too large and too empty. I sat in the quiet, counting down the seconds until she returned.
Being around her and the others had become my new version of normal, and the weeks went faster than I wanted. Every day brought me closer to the moment I’d have to return to my father, and the dread of that sat heavy on my shoulders. I knew Lina felt it too.
It was the dead of night, and I drifted in and out of consciousness. Suddenly, the sound of engines pierced the silence, jolting me awake. I sprang to my feet and rushed to the door, swinging it open to find Lina standing there, unharmed, walking to me faster than I expected.
Everything else disappeared. There was only her. A desperate thought climbed up my throat.
Stay with me forever.
I pulled her against me, holding her so tightly my arm tremored. She hugged me back without uncertainty, and the relief nearly made my knees go weak. However, our moment was interrupted by the sound of Dorin clearing his throat, reminding us we were blocking the way.
We laughed it off and shuffled deeper into the house. Later that night, she curled into me, and I held her as though letting her go meant she’d disappear.
The next few weeks bled into one another. My strength returned. My arm still hurt, but it worked, and that meant my time was up. Codrin had stretched the excuses as far as he could. If I didn’t go home soon, Father would take it out on him.
“I have to go back, Lina,” I told her.
Half expecting her to brush it off, she surprised me with her response. “I know… just… be careful. Don’t make things worse, Cezar. Hopefully, you will get to come home soon.” Her slip of the tongue didn’t go unnoticed. She didn’t take the word back.
Lina was my home, and I would always come back to her.
I knew what waited for me. I’d been through it enough times to predict the exact order of torment. Normally, that didn’t bother me. This time, though? Leaving this house—her, Dorin, Vali, the strange peace I’d never had before—felt like walking willingly into a grave.
After this, why would I want to go back to being tortured by people who were supposed to care for me? Why would I want to leave the only place I’ve ever felt like someone worth keeping?
I didn’t have any other choice since my life wasn’t really mine.