Chapter 74
CEZAR
My mind wouldn’t stop spiraling. It kept going between the night I destroyed Adelina’s soul and the night she gave me back my life. She actually did it. What I have wanted to do for so long. He is gone, and no matter what happens now, I am free, but why couldn’t it only have been me who suffered?
Freedom felt like the beginning of losing her.
I was thirsty and hungry and tired and… sad. The thought of losing Adelina hollowed me out.
The door creaked, and Dorin stepped inside. He was a good guy and cared a lot for her. Even though at one point I thought of him as my rival, maybe he could be the one to make her happy.
“You look terrible. No mirrors around though, too bad, I know you like that kind of shit.” He was joking. A rough laugh escaped me, annoyingly accurate.
“Is… she ok?” Holding my head up in this damn pillory was nearly impossible. My knees hurt, and my shoulders were numb. But I wanted to see his face—his eyes always gave away more than his words.
“She will be,” he said, grabbing the bottle of water he brought. “Eventually. Here.”
I did as I was told. Partially because I was thirsty as fuck and partially because I had no fight left in me.
“I didn’t have…” I stopped. Cut the woe-is-me shit. No one gave a fuck if I didn’t have a choice. What a fucking excuse that was. I still pulled the trigger, and now I must endure the consequences of my choices.
Dorin didn’t push. He held up a spoonful of food and waited. “Eat. It’s not good, but it’s something.”
I forced it down. Maybe he still felt guilty about the bullet I took for him. Maybe he didn’t know how to treat me now. Either way, he wasn’t looking at me with resentment.
“How long have you been like this?” he asked.
“Who knows.” I broke into a slight laugh, moving my hands against the wood as much as I could, even though I did know. Down to the hour. “Thanks,” I muttered. “For the food. And water.”
Dorin was fidgeting. Did he know what my ending would be like?
“I’m sorry, Cezar.”
I looked up, unsure which sin he was apologizing for, though I could guess.
“I deserve everything I get.”
My eyes stung again. I hated how easy tears came now. I just wanted the suffering to end, her suffering to end. Is it ever going to end?
“You don’t,” Dorin said quietly. “Thank you for what you have done for us. I don’t know what happens next. I hope I see you again.”
He left, and I was alone again in the dark.
Then I heard light footsteps. It was her. It was Adelina. The door opened, and there she was—clean clothes, damp hair with droplets trailing down her face. A black bag dangling from her hand.
The same bag she always brought when she intended to play with me.