Chapter 15 #2
I gestured for him to follow me deeper into the ruins.
We wandered through the crumbling walls until we neared an open room with an intricately carved stone bench at its center.
The details were worn and nearly indiscernible, a pattern once etched with the precision of master hands but was now as deteriorated as the surrounding dilapidation.
Above us, light cascaded through bits of the ceiling that had caved in, allowing enough illumination for us to see with additional light coming through the glassless windows.
I took a seat on the bench and smoothed out my skirts. The lieutenant took in the room, his gaze studious and pensive, before sitting next to me.
“I’ve passed these ruins dozens of times since coming to Kenwick,” he said. “I wish I had taken the time to visit them before now. They are quite extraordinary.”
His praise should not have elicited pride in me. It was not as though I had built these walls or carved the stone. Still, Edward’s appreciation for them warmed something inside me. I could think highly of a person capable of seeing the beauty in destruction.
I fought the urge to scoff. Think highly of Edward?
That was not a thought I ever believed I would have, and yet…
he was not entirely the man I had believed him to be either.
He remained an incorrigible tease at times, but there was more to him—a deeply passionate man with firm convictions.
I desperately wanted to know what those convictions were.
“This is my favorite spot in the ruins,” I said. “The quiet, the solitude—I feel oddly at home here. Connected to it, in some way. You must think it sounds silly, but—”
“Not at all.” His dark eyes settled on my face. “We all need a place like this, where we can ponder and be at peace.”
“And you? Have you found such a place for yourself?”
“I’m not certain.” He studied me, and no matter how much I ordered myself to look away, I simply could not.
His stare fixed me in place, constraining me, but not in a way that made me writhe due to the imprisonment.
No, instead of discomfort, I felt wholly at ease, much the same way I always felt while sitting in the ruins.
Perhaps our location held all the blame, but at present, the connection tethering me to the lieutenant frightened me only in that I welcomed it.
With a quick inhale, he averted his gaze.
His brows furrowed so deeply that a line formed between them.
When he spoke, his voice was a soft whisper.
“I’m not certain such a sacred space is always fixed to one location.
Perhaps a sanctuary is not defined by physical boundaries, but rather something else. Something more.”
“What do you mean?”
He swallowed, still focused on the wall opposite us. “I’m still figuring that out myself. Regardless, that is not why we’ve met today. You wished to understand my business with Hollinsby, and I have agreed to tell you, despite my better judgment.”
I crossed my arms. “You do not trust me with the information.”
He looked at me, his gaze full of something akin to fire, and my breath caught.
“I trust you, Annette. I simply do not wish to put you in danger. Or burden you unnecessarily.”
He had said as much before, and given the silent pleading in his eyes, I would not deny his concern was genuine. What had made him agree to reveal everything to me? Surely, I had not given him a reason, not with my avoidance and open disdain.
I would not ask, not when I was so close to having answers. Drat him for making me so invested in his life.
Edward sighed. “I suppose if you are to understand everything, I must begin at the first. That is, I must begin with where my convictions on abolition first blossomed.”
I nodded my consent, and he continued, “Knowing I would need an occupation as a second son, I joined the Royal Navy at fourteen. I had always loved the sea, and it seemed an obvious choice at the time. I worked hard from the moment I stepped aboard my first ship, serving as a cabin boy for a year before being promoted to midshipman. During that time, I experienced much, from attacks by pirates to witnessing the horrid conditions aboard the slave ships. It was the latter that affected me most. Even as a young man, the conditions those people faced disgusted me. Treatment of them was nothing short of inhumane, and the more I saw, the more determined I became to see an end to it.”
Sympathy coiled within me, not just for the people taken from their homes, chained, and sold like cattle, but for young Edward. I could not imagine witnessing such a thing and being unable to prevent it.
“So, you became an abolitionist?” I asked.
He smiled wryly. “Of a sort. I was so young, and not precisely a man of influence or means. I’m still not, truthfully.
I’m to inherit an estate with a modest income and have funds coming from my time in the Navy, but it certainly is not enough to influence the ton to the degree required for change. ”
He was not wrong, and the defeat that marred his expression stirred my desire to help, somehow.
“I do not know,” I said with a smile. “That charm of yours could work wonders.”
As I hoped, the words lifted his lips. “My charm? You think me charming?”
“I think some people find you charming,” I corrected, though he was not wrong about this either. “When did you fully embrace abolition?”
He sobered. “One day, when we made port in Liverpool and were granted a few days leave, I found myself enjoying a meal at one of the local inns.
I overheard a group of men speaking about abolition, and my curiosity eventually guided me to them.
It was…improper, perhaps, to interrupt their conversation, but my desire to do something—anything—had swelled so much that I could not ignore the opportunity.
Those men welcomed me, and I learned much of the motions toward abolition.
I was barely nineteen at the time and completely entranced with the work those men were doing on behalf of slaves.
“One of the men agreed to a correspondence. I believe he saw a bit of himself in me, as he had once served in the Navy and was quite headstrong himself. I did not know then the influence he would have on my life or how much his letters would come to mean to me.”
“He wrote to you, then?”
“Often. Mr. John Newton, a man of both experience and humility. I greatly admired him. Receiving word of his death a year later broke me.”
“That must have been difficult.” Without thought, I placed a hand on his arm. “Mr. Newton has family who reside in Kent. I did not know him well, but my father spoke highly of the man.”
Edward stared at where my hand rested on his coat.
I thought to pull away, but before I could do so, his hand covered my own, securing it in place.
“Thank you, but I cannot regret the connection, no matter how difficult the loss. He taught me much in his letters. Provided a full account of his efforts, and the efforts of others, toward abolition. I am glad he was alive when the Slave Trade Act passed. At least he saw some fruits of their labors.” He shook his head.
“But more legislation is needed. The Act is but a start.”
“This is why you get on so well with my father. You both stand on the same side and fight for true abolition.”
“Yes, your father and I are of the same mind. He is my mentor, in some sense. He wishes for me to take up his mantle now that his health does not permit him to fight for the cause.”
A soft smile pulled at my lips. “I am glad he has you. My brothers take little interest in politics, and I have seen the happiness your visits bring. It has been good for him. Being bed-bound is not easy for a man like my father. He wants to do more, and having you around allows him to continue his work when he otherwise could not.”
Edward nodded. “Indeed, and I am more than happy to do so. Your father is the best of men, and I am honored to even know him. To have gained his regard.”
He meant it. I could see it in his eyes. Edward Paget cared deeply about my father.
Tears pricked at my eyes, but I blinked them away. “I find your background fascinating, but I fail to understand how it relates to this Captain Hollinsby you mentioned or your friend. Am I safe to assume you served under the man in the Navy at some point?”
Edward’s jaw clenched. “Yes, and that service was both fortunate and unfortunate.”
“How do you mean?”
His gaze bore into mine, so direct I held my breath. “Because Hollinsby tried to kill me.”