Chapter 22 #2
“Perhaps. Sometimes grief is lessened with time and physical distance. We cannot know how and when another’s healing will occur.”
“Aye, it could work, or help at least.” He paused, meeting my gaze. “I don’t want to live on charity. I expect to work and make my wage honestly.”
I smiled. The boy had a great deal of pride, and while that could prove problematic, I admired his determination to preserve it. With a little guidance, Lucas would grow into a fine man—one who was hard-working, considerate, and loyal if not a bit stubborn.
“On my honor, you will work for any wage you receive. I must warn you, though, after so much time in the Navy, I will expect solid effort.”
Lucas nodded. “I will work hard for ye.”
I extended my hand to him. “Then we have an agreement. Work and a home at my estate in exchange for your assistance.”
Lucas reached for my hand, but I pulled it away before we could shake on the arrangement.
“Assistance does not require you to put yourself in harm’s way.
If you cannot get into the study without chancing Hollinsby’s ire, then I ask that you abandon the idea completely.
You may still be my ears and bring me whatever information you can.
I do not wish for you to get hurt and will not rescind our agreement should you not get the ledger. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir. I will be very careful.”
I extended my hand again and, this time, allowed him to take it.
A rare smile pulled at Lucas’s face. Whether successful or not, this would change the boy’s life, and even if he did not bring me the proof I needed, I could not regret this decision.
At least he and his family would have a home and a steady income.
They would be free of some of their burdens.
I arrived back at Kenwick with my spirits lifted. Between Annette accepting my courtship and Lucas agreeing to help with Hollinsby, things were finally looking much brighter. Now, if I could only speak with Lord Paxton and dismiss his offer officially, I could continue to move forward.
With determined steps, I climbed the main staircase to the first floor and turned toward the family wing. Just as I reached Lord Paxton’s room, the door swung open, and Lady Paxton exited. She started with a light gasp, but her expression gave way to a smile as she took me in.
“Forgive me,” I said. “I had not intended to startle you.”
“No apology necessary, Lieutenant. How are you this morning?” she asked.
“Well, I thank you. How does he fare today?” I nodded to Lord Paxton’s bedchamber.
“He is much improved. At least compared to yesterday. You may visit with him if you’d like.”
“I would. There is a matter I wish to discuss with him, but I promise not to impose on him for long. I imagine he still needs his rest.”
She nodded, her smile turning appreciative.
“Yes, but please do not consider your visits an imposition. My husband genuinely looks forward to your discussions. In all honesty, his health is much improved since you’ve come to Kenwick.
He will continue to have bad days; the doctor has warned us of this.
But I am grateful for anything and anyone who can bring him joy during… this time.”
Her eyes grew watery, and her lashes batted as if to clear the moisture away.
My chest tightened with emotion, for as difficult as it was for me to cope with Lord Paxton’s condition and the eventuality that loomed in the coming months, it must be a thousand times more difficult for his wife and children.
Lady Paxton’s gaze dropped to the floor, her fingers twisting together, movement likely unconsciously done while grief commanded her thoughts. I placed a gentle hand on her arm, drawing her attention back to me.
“Your family has become quite dear to me, my lady. I appreciate the way you’ve welcomed me. It means more than you can know. Whatever I can do to help, you need only name it. Not just your husband, but any of you. I am always at your disposal.”
She patted my hand, a motherly-like warmth shining in her eyes. “Thank you, Lieutenant. You’ve come to mean much to us as well. We are fortunate to have you in our circle. If you’ll excuse me, there are some things I must see to before supper.”
I nodded, lowering my hand. Lady Paxton swept past me, and once I could no longer hear her soft footsteps, I tapped lightly on the door.
Not waiting for a response, I gently cracked it open and peered inside, knowing Lord Paxton was often too weak to voice his permission loudly enough to reach my ears.
Even from across the room, I could see his smile when his gaze landed upon me.
“Come in,” he said, his voice raspy. “I’ve been expecting you.”
“Have you?” I shut the door and crossed the room, taking up my usual seat.
“My wife keeps me informed of your comings and goings…among other things.”
The knowing glint in his eyes unsettled me, but I shoved the discomfort away.
This was not the first time we had discussed his daughter, nor was it to be the last. Courtships meant marriage contracts, and I was certain the viscount would have much to say about me taking care of his daughter once our engagement became official.
I cleared my throat. “I wanted to discuss your offer—the one you proposed when I first arrived.”
Lord Paxton tilted his head, curiosity filling his features. “Oh? What about it?”
“From the beginning, I was not particularly fond of it. I’ve become less inclined to accept it the longer I stay here.
” I rushed to continue when his brows furrowed.
“That is not to say that I do not…that is…I still wish to marry Annette. I simply cannot do it with the promise of financial gain hanging over me. It is not fair to her. I never should have accepted it in the first place. So, I come to you now to request your blessing free of such stipulations.”
The viscount studied me for a long moment. “Have you proposed to her?”
“Not yet. I wished to dissolve our agreement first. I have reason to hope she will accept my proposal and plan to have that conversation with her the moment we finish.”
Lord Paxton scratched at his beard. His facial hair had grown in since my arrival. I had never seen the man unshaven while in London. It seemed the more time he spent abed, the less he worried about such things. I could not blame him.
“Why do you care so much about not taking the money?” he asked.
“As I said, it is not fair to her. She deserves better than for someone to marry her simply for money.”
“So, as you are still intent on marrying her without the money, I suppose you have a better reason.” One of his graying brows rose, and a smug grin pulled at his lips.
My stomach sank. Down, down, down until it reached my toes. It remained there, heavy-leaden as an anchor cast into the sea. I did have a reason, but to admit it to Lord Paxton before confessing fully to Annette felt backwards.
“I care for her,” I said slowly. “Annette’s happiness is important to me.
Were she to learn of our agreement, she would most certainly not be happy.
You mentioned your belief that she fears marriage.
You were not wrong in that assumption. It is the possibility that a man might present false affections and then change after vows are exchanged that scares her.
Were I to take the money, I would become such a man, at least partially. ”
“Partially, in that your affections are in no way false,” he stated.
Was the man determined to pull out a confession? Part of me hated that knowing look in his eyes. As if he had anticipated this all along. Since I arrived. Perhaps even before…
My brows furrowed. Had he anticipated it? It certainly explained the smugness he wore. It explained his insistence when I arrived that Annette and I would make a good match.
“You appear agitated with me,” Lord Paxton said with no trace of penitence.
“I cannot decide whether to be agitated or grateful.”
He chuckled. “One can often be both.”
I heaved a sigh. “Was this your plan all along? The reason you left me the invitation to visit?”
Lord Paxton’s grin grew. “May I speak plainly with you, Edward?” He continued when I nodded.
“I believe your regard for my daughter goes far beyond caring. It’s deeply rooted in your heart and has been for some time.
My offer to you was never about the money.
Do not misunderstand me. I am more than willing to provide the funds to assist in your political endeavors, but they were, to a point, a means to an end.
I suspected you were falling in love with Annette in London, and she with you.
Our sudden departure—a departure borne of my condition—diluted the odds of a match between the two of you.
Suspecting what I did, I could not allow my health to have such consequences.
Not when I truly believed the two of you could be happy together. ”
“So you invited me here.”
“Yes, with the hopes that simply putting the two of you in the same place, at the same time, would solidify what had already begun to take root and grow. Your relationship needed the chance to blossom, and it has. The money was nothing more than encouragement to keep you here. Another attempt to wield time in my favor.” He smiled wryly.
“I’ve not much of it left to make use of. Every moment counted.”
I ran a hand down my face, biting back a groan. I had been hoodwinked by a sickly old man, but I could not even be angry about it. Without his interference, I may never have given the idea of marrying Annette real consideration. Certainly not the idea of marrying her for love.
Love. Love. Love. The word echoed in my mind, making my heart sputter.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I said. “Regardless of how I came to be here, my reason for speaking with you today remains. I cannot accept the money for marrying Annette. I will not.”
The viscount nodded. “Very well. I will have the contract thrown into the fire when it arrives if it will ease your conscience.”
“It would,” I replied, barely restraining my amusement. “And since I intend to do things the proper way, I must ask for your blessing.”
Lord Paxton swatted at the air. “You know you have it, Edward. I never would have done any of this if you didn’t.”
“Perhaps, but it does my heart good to hear it all the same.”
“Well, go on then. Go speak with her. I know you must be desperate for it.”
He had no idea. Or…perhaps he did. It was no secret that Lord Paxton loved his wife. I offered a bow, and as I left his chamber, I could not help imagining him as a younger man, one eager to speak to his lady and propose their shared future together. What joy they must have felt in that moment.
A giddy sensation swept through me at the prospect of soon having my own such moment. My heart beat rapidly as I descended the stairs and then questioned the first maid I encountered about Annette’s whereabouts.
“Saw her headed to the library earlier,” she answered. “Cannot say she is still there. Would ye like me to check for ye?”
“No, thank you. I will seek her out myself.” The library was the perfect place for a moment of privacy. For a conversation that would change everything.
I entered the library, and my smile faded when I found Apsley rather than his sister. He sat at an oak table, his auburn brows furrowed as he read over a piece of paper. Not wishing to disturb him, I backed out of the room to look for Annette elsewhere.
“You!”
My feet halted, and I met Apsley’s gaze. He had stood from his chair, and his fists were clenched at his side. Gone was the concentration in his expression, a look of pure fury having replaced it. A cold chill of foreboding rushed through me.
“I would like a word with you,” he growled, marching toward me.
I half expected the man to throw a facer with the tension rolling off of him, though I hadn’t any idea what I had done to catch his ire, but he gestured me back inside and shut the door once I had obliged.
“Is something ami—”
“Amiss?” He cut me off. “Oh, something is very amiss, Lieutenant.”
He spat my title with a snarl. My stomach knotted. I had never seen the man this angry, not even after the pranks he endured from his sister.
He paced away from me and snatched the paper he had been studying from the desk. “What do you have to say about this?”
Apsley extended the paper toward me, and I crossed to him in order to take it. Only a few moments were required for me to know exactly what it was—a contract. No, the contract. The one meant to be burned when it arrived.
But the viscount could not burn something not in his possession. Russell Apsley had taken over management of the family’s assets with his father bedridden. It had not occurred to me that the document might wind up in his hands or that his father had not made him aware of the arrangement.
And given Apsley’s fierce glare, the man did not approve.
When I said nothing, Apsley stepped closer, his face inches from mine. “If you think for one moment I will allow you to marry my sister purely for money, you are sorely mistaken.”