Chapter 8 Reid
Reid
Logan, as he introduced himself, didn’t stop talking the entire way to the clan house.
We went in my car with me driving. Logan had shifted along with the others to get to the florist’s, as they could travel faster that way.
Calan had taken off into the woods as soon as we stepped outside, Finn following a few minutes later.
He’d probably stayed behind to flirt with Chester a little more.
Fuck, I hoped what happened today hadn’t set their relationship back at all. I’d never forgive myself.
I’d half expected Logan to follow them, but he’d slid into the passenger seat and immediately launched into conversation. Usually, I was the one doing all the talking. With everything that had just happened though, I was relieved that Logan was taking the lead.
In the past ten minutes, he’d covered everything from being polyamorous to why brookies should be more readily available, to how disappointed he was in the Titan documentary.
“I mean, I wanted to learn more about how the billionaires died”—he pouted—“not about the corruption leading up to it. Ninety minutes of my life I’m never getting back there.”
“Does seem daft that they didn’t devote more of it to that part.” I made a right turn towards the heart of the clan lands. I’d never been there, but I’d always known where they were.
Just in case.
Hadn’t ever expected to need to visit, but then again, I also hadn’t expected any of my so-called family to come looking for me. Wasn’t like they ever seemed to enjoy my company.
Although I’d been aware that they might one day seek me out, I honestly hadn’t thought it would actually happen. I had nothing they needed. I wasn’t a shifter. I wasn’t immortal. I couldn’t lead or protect the clan.
The only thing I could do was the menial work that the shifters refused.
That’s how father had made me earn my ‘keep.’ I’d become the clan servant, for want of a better word.
No task was too demeaning or disgusting for me as far as they were concerned.
Something that had started the day after Evan left.
Another thing to thank him for.
That didn’t seem like a good enough reason for Clyde to come hunting. No amount of cleaning could atone for my presence in the clan.
There had to be another reason. Especially given the fact that Clyde had risked crossing the McCarthy borders to try and find me.
That was when it hit me. God, it was so obvious, how could I have overlooked it?
My family wanted to punish me.
I’d escaped. Doing so would’ve looked like a weakness.
A failing. Clyde couldn’t even make his frail human son do his bidding.
He wouldn’t be able to let that stand. He likely wanted to punish me to show he was in control.
That even his own son wouldn’t be forgiven for betraying the clan and its alpha.
Well, fuck.
I’d known this was a possibility, but I think I’d pushed it to the back of my mind. It was safer that way. Stopped me from spiralling into the gaping void that held nothing but pain and death.
Maybe it was a good thing that Evan hadn’t taken me from the clan. Finn had been right in saying my father would’ve gone to war over it. Not because he gave a shit about me, but to protect his reputation? As an excuse to extend his clan’s borders?
Yeah, he would’ve fought for that.
Evan.
A twinge of guilt ran through me as I recalled how he’d left the shop. How his frame had been quivering with the force of holding back the shift. The question was—why? Why was his wolf trying to come out? To attack me for criticising him?
I doubted that, especially after his behaviour in the club. Evan seemed to be hell-bent on keeping me safe, not hurting me.
It was a shame in a way. Evan would make my death less painful than my father would.
Focus on the here and now. Panicking about what-ifs will just drive you crazy.
Easier said than done.
There was a streak of black fur outside the window. A wolf was stalking the car, following us to the clan house. I opened my mouth to ask Logan who it was before closing it again. Something told me I wouldn’t like the answer.
I’d told Evan to stop trying to protect me, but I knew better than to think he’d listen. Shifters were more stubborn than that.
Logan was still talking. I realised belatedly that I’d tuned him out.
Shit. That happened sometimes. My brain would wander off down a path and it was like the world around me ceased to exist. “Hopefully Riley will come and visit soon. I miss him. But I have you now. Not that you’re a replacement or anything.
I will love you both equally, I promise. ”
I laughed. For someone who’d only met me today, he was sure determined to be my friend. “Ah, remind me who Riley is again?”
Logan shot me a sheepish smile. “Sorry, my brain goes fast. I forget not everyone is able to keep up.”
“You’re talking to a pro at the ninety-nine-lane conversation.
I usually switch topics without remembering to take a breath in between.
It’s not that…” Now I was the one smiling sheepishly.
“I accidentally tuned you out. Sorry. My mind just wanders sometimes. I don’t mean to, I just…
I’m sorry. It’s the ADHD, my brain works differently. ”
“Fuck, don’t apologise.” Logan waved a hand dismissively. “I tune people out all the time and I’m neurotypical. Mind you, it’s usually because they’re boring as fuck. At least I know that’s not why you stopped listening to me.”
“You’re definitely not boring. The opposite, in fact.”
Logan beamed at me. “See? We’re going to be besties. Anyway, Riley is my other bestie. He’s Danny’s mate. Hang on, do you know who Danny is?”
My hands tightened so much on the wheel that my knuckles turned white. “Yes. I know who Danny is.”
Danny was alpha of the McCarthy Clan. I’d known he was mated to a human, but not his name. Before Finlay, Danny had been their leader too.
Right up until my clan murdered his wife and toddler daughter.
“Sorry,” Logan said heavily. “I should’ve realised you knew.”
“Don’t,” I said roughly. “Your clan suffered because of mine. I should be the one apologising, not you.”
“Why?” Logan sounded genuinely curious. “It’s not like you were there. You weren’t even alive. I mean, you’re not even a shifter.”
I knew he didn’t mean it to be a reminder of how different I was, but it was.
Don’t get me wrong, there wasn’t an atom in my body that wanted to be associated with the fuckers who’d hurt the McCarthys.
But it didn’t mean I liked to be reminded that I was just a human.
It dragged up the trauma I tried desperately to keep buried.
“I’m glad Danny’s found love,” I said eventually. “He deserves it.”
“He does,” Logan said. “We all do, for that matter.”
A large wooden structure appeared before us. My stomach flipped as Logan pointed out where to park. The clan house wasn’t the same as the one I was used to with the Clarksons, but it wasn’t about the design or layout.
It was what it symbolised. Pack life. Structure.
Prison.
I took a few deep breaths as I got out of the car, forcing my hands to stop shaking. There was no sign of the brown wolf, but I knew Evan was close by, probably watching.
I didn’t want him to see how affected I was by being here. It was bad enough that I’d turned to him in the shop.
Evan would never back off if he knew how badly this had shaken me up. I hadn’t asked for a furry bodyguard, and nor did I want one.
I wanted as far away from shifter life as possible. Always had. I’d sworn the night I left the Clarksons’ that I’d never enter a clan house again.
And here I was, five years later, about to step over the threshold.
My feet came to a halt just before it. Come on, I told myself. You can do this. It doesn’t mean anything. You won’t be trapped here. After this meeting is done, you can leave the whole damned continent if you like.
Still my feet wouldn’t move.
Logan came up beside me. “Reid? Everything okay?”
“Uh-huh.” My fingers flexed at my sides. “I’m fine.”
“Okay,” he said, slowly opening door and tilting his head. “You coming in or…?”
“I’m coming.”
I was, I swear. If I could just get my feet to move, that was. Fuck, why was sweat rolling down my face?
A low growl echoed from behind me. My head whipped around, and I looked over my shoulder to see a gigantic brown wolf. He was sitting several feet away, just watching us. His hackles were slightly raised, but he didn’t seem about to attack.
“Chill the fuck out, Evan,” Logan said, looping his arm through mine. “Christ, you call me dramatic. You can’t eat me just because Reid is uncomfortable.”
Evan gave another growl with a small yip at the end. It almost sounded like he was saying, wanna bet?
The corners of my lips tugged up before I even realised what was happening. Evan seemed to notice, dropping down on his belly and putting his head on his paws. He went from threatening to docile in a matter of seconds.
Fuck, that should not have been adorable.
But it was.
I quickly turned to hide my smile, even though it was too late now. Suddenly, taking that step into the house didn’t feel like as much of a big deal. I let Logan tug me forwards.
Logan leaned in conspiratorially as he swept me down a long hallway. “You’re really going to have to tell me the tea.”
I sighed. “Think you’re about to get the full breakdown in here.”
“Hmm.” Logan studied me. “Is it going to make me get violent?”
“Dunno. Do you get violent easily?”
“Oh yes.” He nodded enthusiastically. “Very. Especially if it’s someone I’m close to.”
My lips twitched again. “Logan, I hate to point this out, but we aren’t close yet. We’ve only just met.”
Logan scoffed. “Semantics, Reid. Besides, you’re close to Evan, which means you’re close to me.”
My cheeks flushed. “I am not close to Evan. I don’t even like him.”
“Mm-hmm. I’m sure that’s why he’s standing guard and growling at me for daring suggest you step over a threshold.”