Chapter 18
Evan
I’d expected Reid to pull away. For the shock to pass and for him to remember all the reasons why he hated me.
But he didn’t.
If anything, he clung tighter to me as my clan finished up with the Clarksons. None of them had been ended permanently.
Not yet, anyway. The treaty didn’t just give us authority to take their immortality for violating the terms, it also allowed us to use whatever methods were necessary to extract information from them.
Something, I suspected, Logan was about to enjoy immensely.
He had an unconscious Neil over his shoulder as he strode for the tree line with a bounce in his step. Calan followed close behind, still shifted with Martha on his back. Hamish and Brodie had the other two.
Finlay didn’t follow, instead disappearing behind Reid’s building. When he returned, he had a hose in one hand and a bucket of salt in the other.
I should’ve offered to help him clean up the evidence, but Reid was still hugging me. His face was pressed into my throat, one hand in my hair and one cupping the back of my neck.
All of the tension, the darkness, the fear…it faded away with Reid in my embrace.
He shifted his head so it was resting on my shoulder and sighed. “Sorry. Your arms are probably getting tired.”
“Not at all. I could carry you for days if that’s what you needed.”
He chuckled weakly. “Tempting as that sounds, I’m not sure I’m that touch starved.”
I was. For Reid’s touch, anyway.
“But this is nice,” he said sleepily. “Been dreaming of you hugging me like this.”
My voice was raw, filled with disbelief that this was actually happening. “I’ve been dreaming of you doing all sorts, so maybe this makes us even.”
Reid didn’t respond to that, just hummed happily. From how his breathing evened out, I suspected he was drifting between sleep and waking. That didn’t surprise me. It was a common trauma response in humans. Especially if the human in question was surviving on just a few hours’ sleep every night.
My wolf was purring so loudly that I worried that Reid might somehow hear it. He’d never been happier than he was in this moment—giving Reid the protection and comfort we’d wanted to offer him for months.
He stirred again. “Is the shifter who was guarding me okay?”
“Yes, Hamish is fine. Ego’s a little bruised, but he’ll get over it.”
“He should be proud of himself,” Reid muttered. “Took all of them to kill him. And he killed one of them first.”
I made a note to find him later and pass on the praise. It was daft—none of us expected Hamish to have single-handedly fought off five jaguars. But like all wolf shifters, Hamish had his pride. He’d be kicking himself for a while over this.
If Reid wouldn’t mind, perhaps I’d introduce them. He might be the only one Hamish would listen to about it.
Once Finn had scattered the wet area with salt, he approached us with a grim expression. “Reid? Are ye hurt?”
I knew Finn was asking the question out of courtesy. I wouldn’t be this calm if Reid was injured in any way.
“No,” Reid said softly, not lifting his head from my shoulder. “I’m good. Evan got here in time.”
My arms tightened reflexively at how close it had been. If the Clarksons had been faster, Reid could’ve been kidnapped. Injured. Tortured.
Killed.
I gulped, trying to pull more oxygen into my lungs. My wolf was bristling now, pacing but not trying to shift.
He wouldn’t do that with Reid in my arms.
But that didn’t change the fact that I was spiralling and had no idea how to stop it.
In the end, it wasn’t me who snapped me out of it.
It was Reid.
Cool lips touched my throat, right over my pulse point. It was an area I never let anyone touch. It was too risky. Too close to my main arteries.
Reid kissing me there didn’t scare me. No, it calmed me. My wolf settled immediately and my mind cleared.
Everything was going to be okay. I’d got here in time, and now Reid was willing to let me protect him. Properly. The way I’d been dying to since he’d walked back into my life.
He doesn’t need protection, he needs to be loved.
Ma’s words echoed through my mind. She was wrong that Reid didn’t need to be protected, but not about the other part.
Question was…was that something Reid would want from me?
I realised then that Finn was talking to me, and I yanked myself back to the present, shoving everything else away to deal with later. Right now, I needed to focus on Reid and what he needed.
“Sorry.” I smiled at Finn sheepishly. “Can you repeat that?”
Reid snickered against my neck. Glad he thought my inattention was amusing.
While Finn had been talking, my hand had somehow found his way under his shirt. I caressed the smooth skin of his lower back as I waited for Finn to answer.
Finn cocked his head, taking the two of us in thoughtfully. “I asked what your plans are now, Evan. Obviously Reid comes first for you, but I didn’t want to exclude you from the…questioning if you want to be involved.”
I was grateful to him for not using the correct term for what was about to happen.
I was certain Reid knew we were going to be torturing the answers out of his former clan members, but after tonight, it was probably best not to draw attention to it.
“I do, but only once Reid is safe and comfortable. Can you make Logan wait?”
Finn shot me a crooked grin. “I mean, I can try, but you know Logan.”
I did. Hopefully he’d be able to satisfy himself with just a few fingers and toes before I got there.
I wanted the fun stuff.
Finn’s tone was cautious as he addressed Reid. “I know you’ve been against going to the main clan lands, but I think we’d all feel better if you stayed there until we know what the full situation is.”
“I agree.” My stomach flipped in surprise at Reid’s ready response.
I knew he’d asked me to take him away, but I’d thought it was just something he’d said in the heat of the moment.
“I just…I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable staying in the main house.
Is there, like, a sofa I can crash on in a different house? I promise I won’t be a bother.”
Finn’s gaze met mine and he nodded.
“Ye’ll stay at my place, sweetheart,” I said quietly. “If that’s okay with you?”
Reid lifted his face to stare at me quizzically. “Don’t you live in the clan house?”
“Aye, I have a room there, but to be honest, I spend more time at my home. You can stay there.”
“Um…” Reid’s eyes darted over to Finn. “Can you give us some privacy, please?”
“Of course. Take as long as you need.” Finn bowed his head, already walking backwards towards the forest. “And, Reid? I’m really glad yer okay.”
He vanished in a flash of fur, taking off at speed.
Reid was staring at the spot where he’d disappeared, his eyes shining. “It’s so crazy, you know?”
“What part? The attack on you?”
He shook his head. “No. Shifters caring about me. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.”
My heart physically ached in my chest. Unable to stop myself, I brushed a kiss over his temple. “Think you’re going to have to become used to it, sweetheart.”
At least if I had any say in the matter.
Reid didn’t respond to that, just fiddled with a strand of my hair.
I’d noticed that, whenever my lips were on him, he relaxed. That was why I ran them along his jaw and up to his earlobe. It wasn’t because I was desperate to have my mouth on him. That would be selfish.
My wolf laughed at my ridiculousness. Ah, it was fine. So long as Reid didn’t clock how insanely gone I was over him, I’d be golden.
“What’s wrong, Reid?” I whispered in his ear. “What couldn’t you say in front of Finlay?”
“Umm…will you be staying with me too?”
I tried to figure out what the right answer was here, before deciding to go with honesty. “That depends on you, sweetheart. If you want me to stay in the clan house, I will. But if you want me with you, then that’s where I’ll be.”
“That’s what I want,” he blurted out. “You with me. As much as possible. Please.”
I held him a little closer. “Then that’s what’ll happen.”
“I know I’m being weird,” Reid said abruptly.
“You must be wondering what the fuck has happened to change my mind. One minute I’m insisting you get out of my life, and the next I’m begging you not to leave me.
Honestly, I’m a fucking mess, Evan. I wouldn’t blame you if you told me to go back to my own flat and had nothing more to do with me.
I’d deserve it. I keep fucking with your head, and doing this is just going to—”
I cut off his self-flagellation with a kiss. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I was tired of overthinking, of letting my mind lead the way.
It was time to let my instincts do some of the work.
Reid was breathless when I pulled away, and I used the opportunity to say a few things of my own.
“You have been upfront from me from the start,” I said firmly. “You’ve told me what your boundaries are. You’ve communicated the difficulties you’ve had about forgiving me but not knowing how to act with me. Ye even told me what ye needed the night your father died.”
“I didn’t…I wasn’t completely clear that night,” he mumbled, hiding his face in my neck. “You misunderstood something I said.”
My blood turned to ice. “Oh my god. Did I do something you didn’t want me to?”
“No, nothing like that.” His lips found their way to my throat again. “What I said about ye killing my father. I do wish it hadn’t been you, and I still think you shouldn’t have done it…but not because I didn’t want him dead.”
“Then why?”
“Because it put a target on yer back,” he breathed against my neck. “If the Clarksons ever found out it was you who ended him…”
“Wait.” I gently nudged him back so I could see his face. “You said that because you were worried about me?”
He flushed, unable to meet my eyes. “Aye. That’s what I meant. I tried to explain, but you left so fast.”
I groaned, letting my forehead fall against his. “Well, this is probably as good a time as any for you to realise I’m often a fucking muppet.”
He giggled, breaking the tension. “That’s okay. So am I.”