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Love Rose
I jump out of bed, practically tripping over my feet as I make a mad dash into the bathroom, just in time to pull up the toilet seat and then empty my stomach contents into it- for the third time this morning alone.
Tears streamed down my face and I wipe away my spit with the back of my hand, feeling weak and completely drained. I didn't know how I could keep vomiting, I mean I hadn't eaten all day, surely there was nothing to vomit up by now.
I lean my forehead against the edge of the toilet, hardly having the strength to hold my head up, let alone gather the energy to think about how unhygienic it was.
Suddenly I feel an arm wrap around me, underneath my arms and before I could even realise what was happening, Zac kneeled down and lifted me up into the air, bridal style and carried me back towards the bed. I just closed my eyes and rested my head on his chest, feeling comforted in his embrace.
As he placed me gently under the sheets, and pushed away the hair plastered to my face with sweat, I could feel his worry.
"I think it's time we asked Taliya to give you a check up now," he said, his voice not leaving any room for negotiation, "It's been two days and you haven't eaten or drank much and the vomiting still hasn't stopped."
I groan, snuggling into the bed, my whole body aching.
"I'm fine Zac, I'm pretty sure it's just food poisoning. I told Carla that meat smelt funny."
I had my eyes closed, the light spilling into the room was giving me a headache, but even with my eyes closed I could almost sense Zac's apprehension, his piercing eyes burning holes into my body.
"I don't care. It's gone on long enough, I'm getting Taliya." I felt the mattress shift as he stood up from the bed, the sound of his feet heading towards the door.
I wanted to tell him not to bother and that I was fine but at this point the only thing that was on my mind was sleep. My body was so exhausted from the past past two days where my routine had basically been, get up, forced to eat and drink and then minutes later puking it all out and then doing it all over again. This vicious cycle had worn me down now and I was desperate to feel better.
★★
Thankfully after Taliya had checked me over she managed to prescribe me something to help with the sickness, so I was sat up in bed, sipping green tea and generally feeling a lot better when she reappeared in my room later that day with my blood test results in her hands.
Zac had hardly left my side for the past few days, his over protectiveness reaching a whole new level. He even gave my parents strict visiting times stating that too many unnecessary visits would only tire me out and delay me getting better.
Obviously they weren't too happy about that, but thankfully in order to prevent further conflict, they had complied to his orders.
"Alpha, Luna." Taliya greeted with a small bow, her pretty blonde haired tied up in a low ponytail. She shared a look with Zac before turning to me with a smile.
"How are you feeling Luna?" she asks, her eyebrow raised in concern.
"Honestly so much better since you gave me that anti-sickness medication." I place the cup of tea down on the bedside table and shuffle myself into a more comfortable position on the bed. Zac reaches out and takes my hand gently, but his eyes are still on the doctor.
"So what's wrong with her?" Zac asks curtly and I roll my eyes at his tone, but Taliya has no other reaction apart from holding out the paper in her hand to him.
"The blood results came back and they show that Luna is slightly anaemic and her sodium and potassium levels are slightly lower than normal, but that is to be expected due to dehydration."
I make a pointed look at Zac as if to say 'see I told you so' and I was slightly distracted so almost didn't hear Taliya's next words.
Almost.
"But as for the reason as to why you've been experiencing bouts of vomiting, it would be due to morning sickness. Usually that should only last-"
"Wait- what?" I blinked my eyes flickering back to the doctor. "What did you just say?"
Taliya watches me carefully, "The vomiting is part of your morning sickness, Luna."
I shake my head, trying to figure out if I was hearing correctly. Morning sickness? That would mean I was-
"Congratulations Luna, you're pregnant."
In that moment, I had never been more grateful that I was in bed, because I was sure if I hadn't, I would have definitely fainted from shock.
"P-pregnant?" I stutter, my eyes going ridiculously wide. My eyes turns back to Zac who had the same shell shocked expression on his face. It was almost comedic really, the way his eyebrows raised so high they practically disappeared into his hairline.
I turn my eyes to the Taliya who suddenly looked very uncomfortable under the scrutinizing gaze of mine and Zac's.
"Taliya, there must be a mistake," I say, trying to keep my voice leveled, yet not managing to keep out desperation in my voice.
"I can't be pregnant." Not yet anyway. I mean I'm only twenty one I still have the rest of my life in front of me.
Taliya looks at me with concerned eyes. "Luna, I'm 99% sure that you are pregnant but if you wish I could always run another blood test." She offered, but I can tell it from the confidence in her eyes, that she's telling the truth.
I look up at Zac who was already staring straight at me and I guess he saw the fear in my eyes as he quickly dismissed Taliya, who gratefully scurried out of the room as fast as she could. He shuffled closer to me, his hand still holding onto mine.
"Eve-"
"Zac we can't be pregnant!" I practically shout-slash- plead at him, "Not now, not with everything going on."
He holds on tighter to my hand when I try to pull away, my body trembling as I tried to clear my head.
"We can't have a baby when there's rogues and hunters after us- when Demelza shows up on our doorstep adamant on killing me!" I can feel myself start to hyperventilate, despite how hard I try to keep myself calm.
"What do we do?!" I clutch at my hair, pulling it tightly, my eyes pricking with tears, "What do-"
Zac cuts me off before I can finish my panicking, simply pulling me into his chest, his large hand rubbing my back gently.
"Eve it's going to be alright." He reassures but I still feel the adrenaline coursing through my body and I cried, clutching at his shirt.
No, no it's not going to be alright.
"Bu-but the visions...Demelza and the hunters." I cry, my tears wetting the material of his shirt, but he didn't even seem to notice. He just held me tight
and started rocking gently from side to side, until I managed to stop my tears but still remained a snivelling mess.
"We'll deal with that." He says and crouches down slightly so that we were face to face and he could look into my blurry eyes.
"We will get through this." His confidence should have inspired courage in me, but it didn't. In fact, all I could feel when I stared back at him was impending doom and fear. I could sense it, somewhere deep inside myself, something was going to happen and when it did, it would ruin me.
"I'm not ready to be a mother." I finally whisper honestly and I see his face fall. Like a cliff's edge, eroded away by years of harsh tides, his face crumbles before me and for a flash of a second I see the disappointment in his eyes. It was obvious Zac wanted this. He wanted to have a child and to be a father. But he could see my fears, my worries and ultimately I knew he loved me too much to make me have the child when I wasn't sure about it.
"Do you want children?" He asks suddenly, a hard edge to his voice. But behind it, I can hear vulnerability. I realise this is the first time we had even spoken about the prospect of children.
"Of course I do!" I exclaim, "But having a child now, when danger is just around the corner is just pure madness. I don't want to bring a child into this world when I don't know if I can protect it."
I cling to Zac, hoping he would understand me. If this had been any other situation, where there was no hunters or rogues or evil birthmothers then a pregnancy would have only made me deliriously happy.
Zac nods and even though there is pain in his eyes he forces a smile in reassurance.
"You are my priority Eve," he says, "and whatever you decide, I will support you till the end."
★★
My mother knew straight away.
She called it a 'mother's intuition', her eyes glowing with joy and pride as she jumped around exclaiming that she was going to be a grandmother at anyone she met and meanwhile I followed her around with a burdened heart, unsure of how to tell her that we weren't going to keep the baby. I knew the moment she found out, it would break her heart.
"Well you guys clearly didn't hang about, did you?" Carla giggles with a cheeky wink, as she sits opposite me in my bedroom and her words make me burn in embarrassment.
"Oh shush!" My mother scolded my friend before turning to me, her blue eyes wide and twinkling with happiness.
"So I was thinking that if its a girl, the name Maia or Maeve would be really pretty. Did you know it means 'warrior'? Of course it would be so fitting for my granddaughter." My mother was gushing, her cheeks glowing as she continued to flick rapidly through the book titled; 1000+ Beautiful baby girl names.
My mouth turned dry at the sight and a sick feeling swelled in my stomach. How do I tell her that she wasn't going to be a grandmother?
"Whoa Eve, are you alright?" Carla shot me a worried glance, her eyebrows raising. "You look really pale."
I forced a small smile and nodded my head, yet all I wanted to do was cry.
"I'm sorry, I just need to get some fresh air." I abruptly state, standing quickly, desperate to get away from my mother and her book of baby names. It was making me nauseous and sick and I knew it had nothing to do with morning sickness.
I practically ran out of the room and headed straight outside, eagerly hoping that the cold wind would help with the sudden stuffiness I was feeling. I held onto the wall as I finally made it outside, leaning up against it, trying
to calm my racing heart, my head spinning so fast I thought I was going to black out.
"You'll never do it."
I spun around so quick, I swear I got whiplash.
My mother was standing by the door, her head cocked to the side, her slender arms crossed over her chest, watching me with a look that suggested she knew exactly what was going on in my head.
"What are you talking about?" I ask, my cheeks flushing with worry. She takes a slow step forward and then keeps walking towards me until she was about a footstep away from me.
"I'm saying, there is no way you would get rid of the baby, no matter how much you think it over or however determined you think you are."
My eyes widen in shock. She knew about it. Of course she did, she knew everything about me.
"Mum-" I start to explain myself but she beat me to it.
"-Yes, Demelza, the rogues, the hunters, the visions- they are all reasons for why it's unsafe for you to bring a baby into this world but are you willing to give up a part of yourself just because of 'what ifs'?"
I listen to my mother, speechless, my legs feeling weak.
"You said it so yourself, that you would never let Demelza hurt you again but look at what you are doing right now. You are trying to get rid of the best thing that could possibly ever happen to you, because you are scared and to me that sounds like you're still letting Demelza have a hold over you."
"It's such a risk Mum," I say, "I don't know if I'm ready for it."
She shakes her head, a sad smile on her lips. "Your father said the exact same thing when I brought you home for the first time. He said it was too
much of a risk, that it was too dangerous. But now look at you- look at us."
She closed the distance between us and brings her hands up to cup my face. Her eyes lovingly gazing into mine.
"Sometimes sweetheart, the risks are just worth taking."
Was it really though?
★★
I stood in front of the mirror and just stared at my reflection, my eyes trailing down the length of my body until it stopped at my stomach. I stared at it for a few moments, before I slowly lifted my shirt up, looking at my exposed skin.
Taliya said I was only ten days into my pregnancy meaning there was no chance for me to even be showing, but I still fixed my eyes on my flat tummy, watching it carefully.
It was so weird to know that inside me, a little being was forming. A little mini-me or a little mini-Zac. The thought of a mini-Zac made me burst out in a smile and the action caught me off guard.
Mum's words had stuck with me. She was right, bringing a child into this world was risky and dangerous but like she said, perhaps some risks are just worth taking.
"Eve?"
I was so absorbed in my thoughts and watching my stomach in the reflection, that I hadn't even realised Zac was now in the room. I quickly dropped the edge of my top and it fell back, covering my tummy. I didn't bother turning to face him because he slowly walked towards me, standing behind me so that I could see him in the reflection. He engulfed me in size, his height towering over me, his broad shoulders and big arms meaning he was twice the size of me.
We stayed quiet for a few seconds, just looking at each other through the mirror and then suddenly his arm raised and gently placed his hand on my stomach.We both focused on the action as he simply cupped his palm on my tummy and I looked up to see the raw adoration in his eyes as his hands slowly rubbed my stomach.
He wanted this so badly.
I cover his hand with mine and slowly twist around so I was facing him. I look up at him, mesmerized by his love and gentleness.
"It will be too dangerous," I say.
"I know." He answers with a resigned sigh. There's acceptance in his eyes and he knows I've already made my decision.
"Demelza will try to hurt me and the baby." I add and again Zac believes I'm just explaining the reasons for why we shouldn't have this baby and in a way I was.
"I know." He repeats, though his eyes don't move from mine.
I'm silent, simply taking a few moments to admire the man in front of me. The love of my life and the father of my child.
"Then let's kill her," I say, "lets kill Demelza."
The biggest threat towards our unborn child was Demelza, so if we get rid of her then surely everything would be alright. The hunters and the rogues we could deal with later.
Zac narrows his eyes, his eyebrows scrunching. I can see the confusion in his eyes as he looks down at me.
"What are you saying?"
The corners of my lips tilt up, "I'm saying we have a lot of work to do in order to make this place safe for our baby."
Silence.
"Are you serious?" Zac sounds hopeful and I start smiling brightly at the wide eyed expression on his face.
I grab his hand and place it on my stomach.
"Deadly." I say, " We are going to have a baby, Zac."
Ok, so what do you think?
I know, I know its so typical- a pregnancy when there is so much danger and everything but believe me, this is an essential part to the book, so please just go with it.
But on a completely different note, one of my lovely readers commented on my last chapter and it made me think about the fact that people from all world are reading Eve.
So I'm from England, in a little city called Bristol.