29. Even in Death
29
EVEN IN DEATH
Finnian rolled his head to sate the quaking in his jaw.
She is just like Mira.
The voice was unhinged, an overlapping of whispers.
She deserves to suffer.
“Is this your revenge for what I have done to our mother?” Finnian asked, his tone belittling, as if she were a bratty child having a tantrum over her favorite toy. That’s all Marina had ever been, spoiled and pampered by Mira, taught to look down on Father, Naia, and himself. He could hardly stand the sight of her.
“Lord Acacius was kind enough to aid me in my goal,” Marina said, smiling in the same patronizing way Finnian had spoken to her.
Gods, he regretted not inflicting more torment on her back in the great hall.
Alke’s body dissolved into particles and melted away in her grasp. The small orb of his soul fluttered away like a firefly.
“Acacius!” Cassian snarled, jerking against the chains holding him against the fence. “Release me at once!”
Acacius twisted to look back at Cassian. “I do this for your own good, Brother.”
Finnian kept his eyes locked on Marina. She held the syringe up against the silver glow of the full moon, inspecting its contents. “And what do you plan to do with it?”
Acacius’s disturbing mask faced Finnian. “She plans on handing it over to me?—”
“You are a fool,” she muttered.
A monstrous shadow hoisted from the ground and devoured Acacius before he could respond.
This nightrazer was colossal compared to the others. It stood meters tall, its form a writhing void, entrapping Acacius against the fence with another set of the Chains of Confinement. If he wasn’t alongside Cassian, Finnian would’ve found it amusing.
“Marina!” Acacius shouted out, enraged. His mask had fallen off during the collision. Pinned near Cassian, the resemblance of their appearances was uncanny. Two High Gods rendered powerless by the daunting creatures of the Night.
Kill her, the voice lulled.
A tremor vibrated down Finnian’s nape.
The muscles in his shoulders spasmed from it as the black gloom thickened around him, obscuring Cassian and Acacius from his periphery across the grove. Nightrazers morphed from the darkness, like ghosts dripping in oil, baring their rows of teeth in the folds of their faces.
They surrounded Finnian, advancing slowly like a pack of wolves.
One corner of his mouth pulled into a cruel smirk as he cut his eyes back onto Marina, quirking his head. “Kill me and you will avenge Mother? How cliché.”
She twirled the syringe into a more secure grip, like the way one held a gun when preparing to aim. “Death frightens you. It is why you bring souls back from this realm. You cannot fathom endings.”
Finnian’s gaze fell to the blood. Fear pricked his skin like hoarfrost. A foreign feeling.
Death could never touch him, and now it was right in front of him. One wrong move and he would become a permanent resident of the Land.
He glowered at her. “And you cannot fathom being a failure. Yet, here you are, trying to make sense of it. Because you know, deep down, Mother does not love you. She loves your power, what you can do for her. Nothing more.”
The monsters stalked closer, pulling at the space that remained.
Marina’s lip curled, and she disappeared as one with her shadows.
Finnian inhaled a sharp breath.
A nightrazer lunged from his left. Another from behind him.
Violet-blue lightning sparked to life in the sphere of his hand. He drove his arm out and sliced it through their cores, electrifying them from the inside. Their spectral touch chilled his bones, as if he’d reached inside a corpse.
Ear-piercing wails sounded over the hissing of the electric popping and sizzling in his palm. One by one, their forms lifted like a dreary fog.
Finnian matched their pace, cutting them down before they had a chance to lay a finger on him. He could sense the movement of Marina’s divine power mixed in, hidden amongst them, waiting to strike.
His heartbeat hammered against his sternum. Between the beating of blood and the unyielding ringing of the curse caught in his skull, his hearing went uneven, cutting out the sound waves funneling into his left ear.
The veil of nightrazers was endless, and the more energy he wasted on them, the more it gave Marina a chance to attack.
“Enough of this!” Finnian squeezed his hands and the pulses of electricity sparked like a match. The lightning transformed into an angelic, ivory light, wisping around his knuckles.
He punched both fists together, and it erupted in a beam of milky radiance. The shadows around him flailed together, screeching—a horrid sound that reverberated in his bones.
Marina’s pronounced aura materialized behind him.
He spun around, already anticipating her attack, jutting out his palm and catching the needle in between his index and middle finger. He shoved the syringe back against Marina’s enclosed hand.
She locked her stance and hooked her leg around the crook of his knee. With a forceful jolt, his knee folded, and he crumpled down like a puddle at her feet.
His back hit the ground with her heel above his face. He rolled before it could stab through his skull.
Up to his knees, he slung his arm towards her. The crescent scythe of white magic threw her backwards.
In mid-air, she vanished in a blurred plume.
Finnian heaved himself upright. Magic crystalized in his palms. He sent two dagger-like gleams sailing through the air, following the ripples in the blackness.
She fabricated in front of him and thrusted the syringe again.
He swerved the needle by a hair's breadth and threw out his arm. The heel of his palm made contact with her clavicle. “ Sanguis ardeat. ”
She stumbled backwards, crying out.
Finnian watched the skin of her arms, the patches exposed in her neckline, her cheeks, all bubble like plastic in a bonfire. The spell boiled the blood of the victim.
He took the opportunity to lunge for the syringe.
She was swallowed up by her divine power again, leaving him to fight the wispy spirals.
The muscles in his neck went rigid. “Marina!”
The itch in his brain prodded deeper, deeper, deeper.
He rolled his shoulders, clenching his jaws against the clamor of urges filling his thoughts.
Kill her.
Use the blood on her.
She deserves it.
Finnian slapped a hand over his chest where the curse mark throbbed on his pec.
No, you must use it on Ruelle.
Bloodlust surged in his veins and pulsed in his eyes.
Marina killed Kaleo.
He could taste the chemical of the curse like a film on his tongue.
But think about how satisfying it will feel to watch the light leave Marina’s eyes ? —
A small, black mass latched its teeth into the flesh of his arm.
He growled and slung his arm to knock it off, but the creature burrowed its fangs in even deeper.
Another bit into his calf. He stomped his leg. It clung to him.
Hundreds of contorting shadows, the size of ravens, swarmed and stuck to him.
“Mortifer— ” One crammed inside of his mouth, its cotton-like body dry on his tongue.
He channeled his magic through his pores. Fire doused across his skin as a shield, burning them off. They smothered the flames, purged down his neck, arms, legs.
His divine power flared, an instinct to teleport. However, the action clamped against the demand of the binding potion, linking him to Cassian.
As far as he could go, Marina had her dark army.
He jerked and flailed his limbs, smashed his teeth together and ground the shadow in his mouth to a pulp. The acrylic taste gagged him, but he strained the muscles in his throat to swallow it. It stuck to his tonsils, heaving up back into his mouth. His eyes watered.
The shadows on his arms and legs hung like sap, forcing his hands behind his back and coiling them together at the wrist.
Before him, the night rippled like a parted sea, and Marina stalked towards him.
Finnian’s pulse spiked as he eyed the syringe in her grasp.
“Finnian!” Cassian roared, his voice booming and loud—an assurance Finnian would hear him, in the case his brain had not fully adjusted to having his hearing aid back in yet.
The thought pricked in Finnian’s chest.
He didn’t bother looking away from Marina. In the veil of her night, he knew he would not be able to see Cassian from where they stood.
He wished he had let Cassian hold him a bit longer earlier. Savored his warm embrace. Finnian should’ve kissed him. It had been so long since he’d felt Cassian’s lips on his own.
He regretted not telling Cassian that he loved him, that he was sorry for the suffering his plan had caused.
“Time’s up.” Marina was only a few strides away. Her dark eyes narrowed on him, depraved and hollow. A barren wasteland. “Not even Father can save you now.”
The breath froze in Finnian’s lungs as he remembered Cassian’s words.
All you need to do is call out his name.
“No!” It came out as an indecipherable shout due to the shadow residing in his mouth.
Marina cocked her arm back and plunged the needle toward his heart.
Finnian flinched.
A gentle gust swept through his hair.
Everything silenced.
Finnian’s frantic pulse echoed in his ear.
A lovely floral fragrance touched his nose—and it felt as if his heart had stopped completely.
“Hello, my darling.”
Gooseflesh spread down Finnian’s arms at the sound of his father’s mellow voice.
Chest rising and falling sharply, Finnian peeled his eyes open to see his father’s backside, cloaked in a velvet green robe, staring back at him, the same one he could recall fidgeting with the hem of as a child.
Marina choked out a sound, a horrid gasp and sob. “F-father?”
She staggered backwards, blinking up at their father in a rapid procession. Mouth agape, tears welling in her eyes. Her arm sat inclined with the syringe pasted in her grip—half-empty.
A heavy chill froze over Finnian’s core.
No, no, no.
The realization shattered in his chest.
No, no, no, no, no.
The shadowy leeches clinging to his limbs dissolved. Along with them, the suffocating abyss of night lifted. Beyond its cloak, the Land blossomed in radiant hues of plum and tangerine. A brightness that felt inherently wrong.
Numbness spread in Finnian’s limbs, as if his body had disconnected from his head.
Cassian and Acacius came into view across the grove. Their furious shouts muddled against the shrieking in Finnian’s head.
This can’t be happening.
Marina fell to her knees before Father. The syringe rolled across the ground. “I-I didn’t mean—I—you were—” she cried, her entire body quaking in tremors.
Father bent over and cupped her tear-stricken face. “My darling, I forgive you.”
A gut-wrenching sound tore from her, and she grabbed his hand, clinging onto him. “Please don’t leave me. Please stay. You mustn’t leave me yet. Please .”
The static in Finnian’s mind shook his vision. A quiver that would not silence. The sensation jittered and trembled like ice in his veins.
How could I ever love a son like you?
Father tenderly pried Marina’s wet fingers from his hand. He flipped his palm up and a white, bowl-shaped flower unfurled in his grasp. Delicately, he tucked the magnolia blossom behind her ear.
She threw a hand over her mouth and folded in on herself, wailing.
You ruin everyone.
He kissed the top of her hair before turning around.
Streams of blood oozed from the corners of his eyes, down the crevices of his mouth, that were somehow pulled up in a content smile. The sunrise climbing over the peaks of Moros feathered around him, the finest brush strokes encasing him like a heavenly casket.
You failed.
“My boy.” Father curled his hand around Finnian’s nape and pulled him to his forehead.
The glitching voice in his brain stilled, granting reprieve, and his posture crumbled into Father’s embrace. The walls of his chest caved. His mouth opened and closed. He had so much to say, so much he’d longed to say. Centuries of reciting the perfect words.
I am sorry for breaking my promise.
I am sorry for not seeing you sooner.
What have I done?
Forgive me, Father.
He’d spent years in the Land, dismissing Cassian each time he suggested visiting. All to avoid facing the disappointment he assumed Father would have in him, believing it would be too grave to handle. Time he could’ve spent making amends. Now it was all lost. Gone .
“You’ve done well,” Father said.
The words fractured in Finnian’s heart.
He tangled his fingers in the front of Father’s robe, his shoulders shaking from the sob stuck in his chest. “I am sorry. I am so sorry. I never meant—I wanted to come see you—I-I just—my promise?—”
“I know.” Father’s weight gradually slackened against Finnian’s forehead.
Finnian recalled this: his back wedged in the sand, hundreds of bull sharks swarming the sky, the sunlight warming his cheeks as he peeked over at Father, who laid on his back with his hands perched under his head, eyes closed. A smile tugged on his lips, as if he could sense Finnian staring.
Finnian wanted to go back to that moment and lay on that cove with him again in comfortable silence. He wouldn’t have taken it for granted like he had then.
Father gave one final squeeze around Finnian’s nape. “You have nothing… to apologize for… Finny.”
The parting in his words strangled Finnian’s breath. “Father?” He went to pull back, but Father’s hand fell from his nape. His body went limp and slumped against Finnian.
“No! Father!” Finnian strapped his arms around him, the weight of his body buckling Finnian’s knees. They fell to the ground. Finnian held him snug. “Father!”
The Land shuddered. Vines emerged from the dirt and snaked across the air for Father. The green stems coiled around his limbs.
“No!” Finnian cut through them with his hands. More and more sprouted and glided up Father’s torso, around his neck, into his hair, across his face.
A blazing panic burned through Finnian.
Do not take him from me.
He dug his heels into the dirt and scraped back with Father in his hold. They fought against his pull, winning. He extended an unsteady arm and flames struck from his palm, igniting the vines.
They endured the fire, but did not wither, continuing to confiscate Father in their blackened state.
Finnian’s breath stuck in his throat, his lungs constricting for air.
What should I do?
I don’t know what to do ? —
“Finny,” Cassian said from the other side of the grove, loud enough to be heard but still with softness. A melody in all the noise. In it, Finnian could hear what he said. Father belonged to the Land now. It would take him outside the gates, where he would be properly escorted inside. Not as a prisoner, but a welcomed soul.
The resistance gave way in Finnian then. His back bowed as he cried into his father’s robe.
The vines slowly slid him from his lap.
His grip on Father’s robe cut off the circulation in his fingers.
This is it.
He is leaving.
Forever.
Snot and tears fled down Finnian’s lips. The vines pulled against his hold.
You have to let go.
He released his fingers, and the vines extracted Father from his lap.
The soil crumbled and swallowed Father down under.
Deeper than the earth.
Finnian gaped down at his lap, at his palms—empty. His chest moved in large gulps, his breath shallow against the painful pounding of his heart.
He stared at the seam in the dirt, his brain attempting to comprehend the last few seconds.
The ringing jarred in his skull, vibrating down his spine.
This is all your fault.
If you could’ve gotten to him sooner ? —
I told you, you are pathetic ? —
You failed.
Finnian squeezed the sides of his head, rocking back and forth. “No, no. I?—”
You ruin everything and everyone and so does she.
His chin lifted to Marina across from him. She was a puddle on the ground, weeping into her hands. The syringe laid beside her, still half full.
He’d always taken comfort in knowing Father was alive, regardless of the distance between them. His beating heart meant there were possibilities. A day Finnian could dream about. One day, Father would be free, and they could see each other whenever they wished.
A dream stolen from him.
Deranged fury erupted like tiny bombs in his chest. The intense breath of it fanned the jittery insanity detonating underneath his skin.
Kill her.
He jumped up and charged forward.
“Finnian!” Cassian roared.
Thin, silk-like threads snagged around his body, trapping his arms at his sides and sealing his legs together. His shoulder buried into the ashen remains of his grove, and his cheek ricocheted off the ground. Clouds of the dead cinders coated the air, sticking to the inside of his mouth. It swirled in the wake of Marina teleporting away.
“No! Ruelle!” Cassian bellowed across the grove.
The High Goddess of Fate stepped through the dust, the particles crystallizing and falling like droplets of ice. They stuck like gemstones in her auburn hair. She held out a bent arm, her fingers curling into a fist.
The threads around Finnian squeezed taut, slicing like barbs through his skin. His nostrils flared to the warm feel of blood seeping down flesh.
With a flick of her finger, a thread coiled around the syringe and delivered it to her palm. “Close to madness, yet, Finnian?”
He jerked in the threads and their grip seized around him, slicing deeper. Baring his teeth, he said, “Come closer, Ruelle, and I will show you just how mad I am.”
A hard look pierced in her eyes, and she moved her hand slightly to the left. The thread followed her command and penetrated through the meat of Finnian’s arm, rubbing against the shell of bone.
He ground his teeth against the agonizing bursts ricocheting up into his jaw.
The curse fed on the pain, amplifying the itch in the center of his mind so deep it burned.
Suddenly, it all made sense. Cassian’s odd demeanor from earlier. The way he’d held Finnian close, as if it was the last time. Ruelle had threatened Finnian. It was the only reasonable explanation as to why Cassian had cursed him, and the murderous edge to her features told Finnian she was there to make Cassian pay for refusing to return her beloved back to life.
Finnian scraped his chin across the ground to rotate his head.
Cassian thrashed at the chains keeping him contained like a trapped animal. The tendrils of his divine power slammed like stones within the bindings.
Somehow, as if he could sense Finnian watching him, he paused in his violent motions, his attention falling onto his partner, face struck with pure terror.
Finnian connected with his gaze, giving him a look of inquiry, like a child asking for permission.
Recognition crumbled his brow, and he nodded solemnly. Do what must be done , Finnian could hear him say.
His eyes flashed back to Ruelle, glaring down at him.
The source of it all.
“ Animabus suscitate et venite ad me .” The incantation buzzed on his tongue.
The ground rumbled beneath them.
Ruelle’s eyes darted around.
“ Animabus suscitate et venite ad me .” His solar plexus filled with a warm pool of magic.
“What are you doing?” Ruelle glowered at him, taking a step. Her knuckles went white as she constricted her grip. The threads cut further into Finnian’s flesh.
“ Animabus suscitate et venite ad me !” He chanted it louder.
Ruelle lifted her head towards the beings flooding in behind him. Souls of men, women, children, jungle cats, dogs, birds. Finnian recognized their energies. His magic never forgot the touch of a soul. Each one, he’d lulled back from the dead in his city.
Two came around him and stood on either side of his head. A woman with untamable curls and another with ginger locks, their sights set fearlessly on Ruelle.
Tears stung Finnian’s eyes as he said, “Help me. One last time.”
“Even in death,” Isla murmured without looking down at him.
Eleanor slapped her hand on her chest, over her heart. “Even in death.”