Chapter Thirty-Two #2
The woman threw her hands in the air, swaying slightly from side to side, suggesting Dutch courage might have been imbibed, and Enya’s heart lurched for her.
Remembering their chat in the coffee shop, understanding how when you were unhappy, even a glorious thing like your only daughter’s wedding was just a hiatus from the life that she would wake up to tomorrow.
‘Enya! Oh my God! Can you believe this?’
‘It’s incredible!’ She didn’t know what else to say. Hadn’t known what to say the first time Trish had stood in her kitchen and been joined by her husband, as the penny dropped...
‘We’ve been up since the crack of dawn, I’m already knackered! Can I get you a drink?’
‘No, thank you, my bladder is quite temperamental, and I’ve sunk at least two pints of tea today.’
‘How about some champagne?’ Trish beamed, as if for this kind of drink, Enya and her bladder might make an allowance.
‘Do you know what, I will, but after the ceremony if that’s okay. I’ve got to pace myself.’
The look on Trish’s face was one of disappointment.
‘Come and see the kids! And I can show you to the guest room where you can get changed.’ Trish linked her arm and led her around the back of the house.
They nipped past the marquee entrance and took a winding path that seemed to run along the edge of the garden, almost hidden by the immaculate lines of pleached hornbeams through which they now wandered, Enya’s dress still dangling over her arm, shoes on her hooked fingers and her bag over her shoulder.
‘Are they nervous?’
‘No, don’t seem it, I am! I’m the one worrying about the details and the timing. Iris is more like her dad, calmer, laid-back.’
Enya nodded, not wanting to talk about Dominic at all.
Up ahead she could see a single-storey building that almost disappeared into the landscape.
Its flat roof was grassed and the walls a pale timber, the only windows on the front.
Vast dark-framed doors were a mini version of those at the back of the main house but did the same job, opened up the entire house, blurred the boundary between the outside and the in.
The terrace here too was smaller, more intimate, with two Adirondack chairs positioned to take in the view, which from here was no less stunning.
‘This is where Iris lives, well, Iris and Aiden now.’
It was no wonder to Enya that he’d been home so little.
His childhood room with board games piled up on the shelf above the bed must seem quite unappealing in comparison.
And of course, he wanted to be where Iris was.
This she understood entirely. He was no longer a child, but a man, about to become a married man, and a father soon after.
Enya was in awe of the design and size of this clever secret building. It was far from the annexe thing that Aiden had inadequately described, and that she had envisaged.
‘Enya!’ Iris leapt from a high leather stool, one of four that sat by the counter that was part bar, part island.
‘Hello, love!’ She welcomed the kiss Iris planted on her cheek, a subtle change in their dynamic that she truly appreciated.
Enya took the chance to study her happy, pretty face.
Her make-up was subtle, her hair as she always wore it in an immaculately blow-dried bob, and Trish was right, she appeared to be anything but nervous.
‘See, I told you,’ Trish laughed, ‘cool as a cucumber.’
‘To be honest, I don’t see what there is to be nervous about!’ Iris shrugged. ‘I’m at home. The weather is great. My dress is amazing! The only people who are coming are those we love. I’m marrying the love of my life, and we have strawberries and sorbet for pudding! It’s a perfect day!’
‘Well, when you put it like that.’ Enya laughed too.
‘Even my dad has promised not to run off to the boatyard.’
‘Oh, that bloody boat!’ Trish added through gritted teeth. ‘Anyway, I’m going to love you and leave you, I need to do a few last-minute bits and bobs, see you in a sec.’ She turned to Enya. ‘If you need anything at all, just text me and I’ll be right over.’
‘Thank you.’ Enya was touched that on this day when Trish had so much to do and think about, she was so very considerate to her.
‘Mum!’ Aiden came from a room at the back and into the open-plan space, resplendent in rugby shorts and an old Bristol Bears T-shirt of his dad’s. Her breath caught in her throat at no more than the sight of it. He rushed forward and wrapped her in a brief, tight hug.
She smiled. ‘Mind my dress!’
He took it from her and disappeared along a corridor, returning empty-handed not a minute later.
‘Did you hang it up?’
‘No, I shoved it in a corner on the floor. Oh, is that what you’re wearing to the wedding?’ He pulled a face of mock horror and pretended to dash off to retrieve it. ‘Yes, I’ve hung it up.’
‘Thank you.’ She studied his face; he looked so happy, so assured, it was wonderful!
‘Come and sit outside.’ He took her hand and led her back out to the terrace, her hand in his.
‘This is a beautiful place, Aiden.’
‘It really is.’ He let his eyes sweep the view.
‘How’re you feeling?’ She kept her voice low and soft.
‘I’m just excited, so excited! Jim’s in the shower. I’ve seen his speech, it’s not too bad, had to make a few changes, remove the odd anecdote. I didn’t think Nan would appreciate the tale of me trying to wax my arse, that kind of thing.’
‘Probably wise.’ She smiled.
‘I’m looking forward to the day, Mum.’ He bit his lip, and double blinked.
‘But?’ She turned to face him.
‘But I’m really, really missing my dad.’
‘Oh, love.’ She retook his hand and held it tightly.
‘Me too. But you know what, he’d say don’t let sadness cloud this special day.
He’d say that to both of us, he’d say, dance and laugh and make the best memories!
’ She knew he’d mean every word of it. ‘I’ve come to realise that the lovely memories we have of him , they’re everything, and even though he’s not here, we have joy ahead of us, so much joy!
There’s room in our hearts for everything we’ve already experienced, and everything that is still to come. It’s magic.’
‘I know you’re right.’ He held her hand with equal pressure.
‘I know he’s dead. I know I can’t see him.
But it’s like I think I might bump into him or he’s working away or the reason he’s not with me is because of logistics or circumstances and not because he can’t and never will be with me again.
But on days like this, moments like this, the big stuff, when I look up and he’s not around, that’s when I realise that it’s real.
He’s actually gone, because if he could, he’d be here, wouldn’t he? ’
‘He absolutely would, but he was always so proud of you and today is no exception. He’d be so proud of you, Aiden.’
‘Yep.’ He let go of her hand and wiped his nose on the back of his arm. ‘This has come around quick, hasn’t it?’
Staring out over the valley below, she did her best not to cry. The third time today she had felt the urge to give in to the emotion that threatened, understanding that, just like Jonathan, no matter where her boy lived or what direction his life took him in, he would always be her son.
Yes, it had gone quick.
‘Nearly there! One more push, Enya, that’s it, lovey! One more... that’s smashing. Oh, here he is, a boy, you’ve got a lovely little boy!’
Too quick.