Chapter 9
Faith
Grayson hunched down in the grass. His breathing was heavier than he would have liked, but his strength was at a low ebb and everything–even hiding and crouching–was wearing him out.
He really wasn’t keen on being human any longer.
As an Immortal, he could have passed through the Ever Dark with absolutely no issues.
Hell, he would have been able to easily face down the Kaly slices.
Well, some of them in any event. He had died here before.
But now, as a human, as a sick human, things were not looking good.
To the left! Go now! Eyros hissed.
Are you sure? The snorting is coming from the left, Grayson pointed out, staying still despite Eyros’ command.
No, the snorter is on the left… ah, my left so your right, Ashyr, Eyros sighed. I’ve never done this before! Located minds of nasty beasts and given directions over eons of space!
First time for everything, Grayson smiled.
He hustled to the right just as something crashed into the area he had just been. It let out a disappointed squeal. It had hoped to find something tender and juicy to snack upon. Grayson could hear it snuffling the ground. It would catch his scent any moment.
No, no, I might not be able to fully mind-control the beast, but I can make it think your scent is off in the other direction! Eyros sounded triumphant.
Grayson grinned. Eyros’ triumph meant he was going to live and not be something’s food.
At least for now. He heard the beast crashing in the exact opposite direction from until the sound of its snorting and squealing drifted completely away.
Grayson let out a breath and slowly stood up.
His knees creaked and he felt quite a bit heavier than he had before.
He really needed to rest for a moment. He looked ahead of him.
The treeline to one of the vast forests was just twenty feet away.
While the forests weren’t safe in the Ever Dark, they were better than being out in the open like this and there, hopefully, wouldn’t be as much mud. He started to slog forward.
Straight on now, Eyros said. There’s nothing nearby that can hurt you.
Good. I’m relieved. And Lasting is in this direction, right? He asked as much as stated.
Ah, yes, a good few miles from where you are, which in your shape, you will be as likely to make it alive as a climb up the tallest mountains without a coat, Eyros replied breezily.
Grayson let out a breathy laugh, O, ye of little faith!
You never had faith before, Ashyr. Cold, hard facts and the pessimist’s view were how you always approached things, Eyros reminded him as Grayson took step after heavy step.
But maybe that soft, squishy body is causing you to believe in such things.
I would imagine one would have to or give up in despair!
Grayson knew that the odds were against him. Hell, there likely weren’t any odds in his favor. But he believed in Seeyr. She’d gotten them all this far. He had faith in her.
It’s not that bad being human, you know, Grayson said as he huffed and puffed from the simple act of walking. There are interesting benefits. I’m glad I got to experience them.
Only so you’ll appreciate being Immortal and free from those “benefits” any longer, Eyros laughed.
Maybe a little bit, yes. But it’s good to be reminded of the benefits of one’s existence, Grayson said.
Better you than me! Eyros scoffed, clearly not liking the idea of being mortal and breakable. Considering what had happened to Balthazar, he had no idea how right he was.
A few more tiring steps and Grayson crossed into the tree line.
He let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding.
His lungs, however, did and he drew in deep draughts of air and rested his back against one of the tree trunks.
He longed to just sink down and sit there for a while, but resting for any period of time was dangerous.
Being off his feet while doing so would be an even bigger mistake.
I’ve tried to remember what it felt like to be Immortal and all I can really recall seems too good to be true. Do we really never tire? Grayson asked as he sagged.
I’ve experienced tiredness through human minds and I can assure you that we never do that, Eyros told him.
And everything is so easy?
What do you mean by easy? Ah! I see, you feel the effort merely putting one foot in front of another. Yet the Ashyr I know could rip that tree up by the roots without breaking a sweat and not use his power, Eyros said.
Well, that must make getting firewood easier.
You’re telling a joke! Ashyr joking! It must truly be the apocalypse, Eyros chuckled.
I really was a bit of a stuffed shirt, wasn’t I?
There was silence from Eyros then and Grayson guessed that Eyros was checking whether it was acceptable to get in on the “fun” of making fun of him.
You were the definition of a stuffed shirt, I’m afraid, Eyros finally said.
Grayson grinned. Yeah, I thought I had to be. Fun was for the undignified and unserious!
Which you’ve always seen me as, Eyros sounded a touch tart.
Yes, but I was both wrong and right about that. I’m sorry it touched a nerve, Grayson said.
You’re… sorry?
We’re friends. Brothers. I don’t want to hurt you if I can help it, Grayson said.
More silence and Grayson wasn’t sure what Eyros was thinking.
His own dredged up memories though gave him potentially a guess.
He had thought Eyros arrogant and undisciplined at best. Eyros couldn’t be counted on unless it was to do what he pleased or make Daemon laugh. There was value in the latter.
Well, yes, but friends do hurt one another the deepest, because we know one another’s foibles so well, Eyros finally answered airily.
Yes, but we should be more careful because of that, Grayson said.
Grayson pressed a hand to the center of his chest. He really was feeling so drained.
It was the Ever Dark. It was taking from him as it did from all Immortals, but he couldn’t receive what it was giving back because he was still human.
There was a symbiotic relationship between all Immortals and the Ever Dark, he remembered, and there was no stopping this process.
Daemon had given him a boost for a time, but it was clearly gone now.
And Daemon needed all the power he could get.
I wish he’d just told me, Grayson thought. It would have made me realize that I couldn’t delay a moment more than I had to. But he likely knew that and didn’t want to get in the way of my eventual decision. Ryder. Ryder is my choice.
Grayson tipped his head back and looked up at the canopy above him.
The leaves were dark green–not that he could see that with his human eyes–but he remembered that about them.
Deep green with golden veins. Beautiful.
The forests, fields, everything in the Ever Dark was always so lush despite the lack of sunlight.
If time was completely stopped here it wouldn’t make sense how the trees grew and the creatures multiplied.
But there was definitely a sense of timelessness about it all.
Maybe it was the energy that they gave to the Ever Dark that allowed it to prosper without the sun. That could be right.
I know that you’re regretting not being turned before now, but I, personally, think that's wise, Eyros said. You would have made the wrong choice. You still are thinking of making that choice.
Oh, and why is what I’m thinking wrong?
We should believe people when they show us who they are, Eyros answered softly.
Grayson frowned. What do you mean?
You’re considering having Weryn turn you, Eyros said almost like it was an accusation.
More frowning. Yes, and you know why just as well as you know that. I love him and he loves me. Does that threaten you? It threatened Kaly–
Oh, for fuck’s sake, Ashyr, don’t be a fool! I knew you had feelings for one another before you even knew, Eyros scoffed. No, that’s not it. It’s what you haven’t seen of him here that matters. What you don’t know.
He went a little crazy, Grayson began carefully.
A little? No, actually, I take that back. He wasn’t crazy at all. You must know the truth, Eyros sounded both bitter and eager to tell him. Friends need to tell one another the truth, don’t they? Even if it is hard to hear?
Especially if it is, Grayson admitted. But you sound angry with me and him. Are you sure what you have to tell me is for my good?
Silence.
I do value your counsel, Eyros. You see people’s weaknesses very clearly, Grayson admitted. But I am certain of my choice. I am certain of Ryder.
Ryder? You don’t even call him by his true name yet you claim to be certain of him! He imagined Eyros shaking his head.
It’s because as much as he is Weryn, he is also Ryder, Grayson explained, though it likely made little sense to the other Immortal.
Even if that is true, inside of him is Weryn. The core of him is Weryn. Can we agree on that?
Yes, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have changed dramatically, Grayson said.
What if he wasn’t crazy at all when he did all this in the War? Eyros challenged. What if he was stone cold sober as a judge and–
You’re mixing metaphors from my mind as I know we didn’t have that phrase back then, Grayson said.
You know what I mean, Eyros said with a sigh. He wasn’t crazy, Ashyr. He did everything he did without a crazy stray thought in his head.
He was upset.
Yes, upset. Angry. Wrathful. All of it. Sure, Eyros agreed. But not crazy. So everything he did during this War, he chose to do. Nothing made him do it. He treated us as he would our enemies without a second thought. In fact, he enjoyed it more because it was us.