13. Death Everywhere #2
“Come now, Ashyr, if you’re this devoted to the idea of saving me when you still see me as an enemy, imagine how convincing you’ll be when we have the Master-Childe bond?” Artemis pointed out.
And Grayson knew he was right about that.
“Daemon has just turned his own Childe. He knows how important Julian is for him, but also how important he is for Julian. Would he take your Master? Extinguish me like a candle in a hurricane? Would he even dare imprison me?” Artemis listed out.
Grayson stared at him in horror.
“Yes, exactly, you see it now. He won’t! Because it will cause you pain. And so long as I am a good Master, you won’t kill me either. Soon, it will be forgotten that I was ever anyone else but a friend and ally,” Artemis said.
There was a terrible logic to this. And he could see it working.
“You can still have that outcome if you bring me back now,” Grayson said. “Better than the one you’re saying. Because then you will have saved me and earned your place.”
“Perhaps, but that is far less certain. My plan is better.”
Grayson’s stomach fell into his feet. The fire in him was building, but it was taking almost all of his strength to do so. Would he even be able to rise to his feet, let alone stroll out of this room, and find a gate?
I will. I have to.
“Why are you so averse to this idea, Ashyr?” Artemis asked.
“You are our General. Why would you not want to have an army of the living and of the dead under your command? With my gift you could have both. Think how useful that would be! In fact, I’m sure that you’ve already thought of it, but put it aside out of middling romantic concerns. ”
Grayson had thought of it. And the Kaly gift would be useful.
More than useful. It would give him such power.
But he wanted Ryder. He loved Ryder. Being turned by his beloved would give him much greater strength of mind and spirit for all that was to come.
He had always set himself apart from the others out of what he believed was necessity.
There had to be distance when you were asking others to go into battle for you, to risk themselves, their fledglings and more, for the ultimate good of all Vampires.
The weight of their security had rested so heavily upon his shoulders. He had put duty before everything else.
But being so separate had allowed him to miss what was going on among his fellow Immortals.
He saw now in this moment of utter clarity that it wasn’t loving Weryn that had allowed Kaly to start the War, but rather it was that he should have loved all of his brothers and sisters.
He should have been connected to them, known their joys and despairs; been their anchor in stormy seas; simply been there.
Then they would have confided in him, trusted him more.
He would have known about Kaly’s deterioration–maybe even stopped it before it began–and seen the distance between them all that had allowed it to fester.
Would such arguments work with Artemis? He needed time to gather his flickering strength so he might as well try.
“If you were Caemorn, I would consider it. The Kaly gift is great and wondrous,” Grayson admitted.
“But, more importantly, I have seen how he has grown and changed. He is a most excellent Master to Balthazar now. They are devoted to one another in a way that no one would have been able to foresee other than Seeyr. And there is no compulsion. No false love. Just equals.”
“I grown and changed.” Artemis put a hand against his bare chest. “If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation now. You would have woken turned.”
Grayson swallowed thickly. Yes, that could have happened. His weakness made him so vulnerable. And though the fire was building in his chest, it was but a feeble flicker of what it should be. The Ever Dark was calling to him. It wanted him to return.
“I know why Kaly originally sliced themselves,” Grayson said. “The experiences and the pain. But why have you not wanted to rejoin the rest of yourself?”
Artemis’ gaze became distant as he considered this question. “I have asked myself this many times. I have come up with many answers. But the one that I think is most true, even if it makes the least sense, is that I want to be myself. And if I return, I will no longer be myself.”
Grayson strove to feel compassion for this part of Kaly. He found that he could dredge up some. So he nodded.
“That does make sense. You want to be the person you’ve become. Going back would make you lose that,” Grayson said. “I thought I wanted to forget being Grayson and simply be Ashyr. I thought it would make me stronger. I thought… many things.”
“But you were wrong?” Artemis was resting his hands again on Grayson’s thighs.
He fought not to push Artemis away. Because he needed him close for that one and only shove he was going to have in him. So he swallowed deeply and remained still.
“Yes, being Grayson has clarified quite a few things for me. One of the largest ones being that we are stronger together than apart,” Grayson explained. “That I did you all a disservice by acting like I was an island and each of you was one too instead of knowing that we are all part of a whole.”
Artemis slowly nodded. “Connection is important. Which is why when we are connected not just as two Immortals, but as Master and Childe, I will have secured my existence as I’ve said. And you will be happy with me, Ashyr!”
Grayson let out a soft, desperate laugh. “I want to be myself, too, Artemis! But what you propose will change me. I will never have a clear mind if what you intend to do works. I will become someone else that I do not wish to be. Will you not give me the same freedom you want for yourself?”
Artemis was silent for long moments. He was clearly considering it. Grayson did not trust that his end decision would go in his favor. He built the fire in his chest. He shoved everything he had into it. It burned brightly, but feebly. The flames were so uncertain.
“I understand, Ashyr. I am asking you to give up something that I would not myself. But that is how it must be,” Artemis said, unsurprisingly.
He got up on his knees and cupped Grayson’s face and with that same disturbing amount of earnestness added, “I promise that I will try and make up for this for the rest of eternity. And someday, even the little bit of you that will resent me, will come to forgive me.”
“No, Artemis. What will happen between us is what has happened between every Vampire who has turned an Immortal,” Grayson said. “Disaster.”
“I never thought that I was the optimist between us. But I suppose you have to always think of the worst case scenario, don’t you?
As our General,” Artemis said with a nod.
“I appreciate that about you. I look forward to learning and understanding more about you. I’m certain that I can fulfill whatever you need. ”
“That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works,” Grayson said softly. “I wish you would let me save you.”
A small smile. “You are saving me. Just fall, Ashyr. Fall into my arms. Fall into my vastness.”
Grayson grabbed hold of his power. “No.”
And he sent a blast of his power at the center of Artemis’ chest. If Artemis had been human, his chest would have been crushed.
He should have been thrown like a rag doll across the room.
Grayson saw the fireplace with the soul gems shatter.
Sparks of orange light flared in the room.
But that was because when he had pushed, he hadn’t pushed Artemis at all.
Artemis wasn’t in front of him any longer.
The fireplace was. Or had been. Now the light from the burning soul gems was low, an eerie pumpkin-light, with most of the room in blackness.
But he could still feel Artemis’ hands on his face.
And that was when he realized that something was wrong about that touch.
The angle was all wrong. Fear spiked in his chest.
“That was so impressive!” Artemis breathed in his ear from behind him. “I know you well enough, Ashyr, not to make myself a static target.”
Grayson’s body suddenly was out of his control. He was sagging. Falling into Artemis’ arms. He could barely see the other Immortal hover above him as he was gently laid down on the divan. Artemis straddled his body lightly and stroked his cheeks again.
“That was your last hurrah though. It’s all over now. And I commend you for it,” Artemis said without any malice. “Truly, you are remarkable to have come so far. Even as a human, you are different, Ashyr. Now… I will turn you into something even better.”
No, Grayson tried to mouth the word, but his lips wouldn’t move. No. No. No. This is not how it is supposed to go.
“This is fate, Ashyr,” Artemis said. “I took you out of the world of Vampires once. It’s all the more fitting that I bring you back into it.”