19. Brooks
19
brOOKS
“Brooks August Kent!” Kayla’s voice stirred Brooks from a deep slumber, and he jerked his face up.
Why does my body hurt so much?
His eyelashes felt stuck together, and he blinked one eye open, keeping the other one squeezed shut.
Fuck.
The cold tile of the bathroom floor pressed against his body.
Kayla stood in the doorway, and she flipped the lights on, making him wince.
She was furious.
“Kayla,” he croaked, pulling himself to sit up. He balanced one hand on the toilet seat and closed the lid.
God, I’m a wreck.
Shame broke out over his brow in the form of sweat.
“Explain to me why Cormac had to call me first thing this morning and tell me you were drinking last night. Or that, when I got here, I found a woman I don’t even know taking care of Audrey. Not that I’m mad at Maddie. I could kiss her, actually, and she’s my new favorite person on the planet. But you? I’m going to murder you.”
And she has every right to.
Brooks rubbed his eyes. “I’m a fucking mess, Kayla. It’s unforgivable. You have every right to hate me and I’m sorry.”
“What’s going on with you, Brooks?” Kayla shook her head, disappointment and hurt in her eyes. “And why the hell are you drinking? I can’t go through this again with you.”
The smell of alcohol seemed to seep through his pores, and his mouth was acrid from a night of getting sick. He’d never considered himself that uncontrolled, but Kayla had been worried about his drinking, so he’d quit. Darren had heard about it and leaked it to the tabloids himself that time, wanting him to bring it up in interviews and other discussions.
Made him look like a raging alcoholic to the press.
Why do I keep allowing that? Because one day, Audrey’s going to read all that shit.
Brooks struggled to his feet, then made his way to the sink. He turned the tap on and splashed water on his face, then took a long drink directly from the faucet. Putting toothpaste on the brush beside the sink, he looked at Kayla through the mirror. “Maddie’s still here?”
Kayla nodded.
Double fuck.
He’d said some lewd things to her the night before. Tried to kiss her.
God, I owe her an apology.
“I’m sorry, Kayla,” he said again. How could he explain?
He was a failure.
A fucking failure.
A disaster that just kept making his damn life worse.
Kayla’s lips pursed as he brushed his teeth. The taste of the toothpaste turned his stomach, but he pressed on. No way in hell he had anything left to vomit.
“I managed to actually take tomorrow off, so I’m free to stick around until the rental is up. But . . . I don’t want Audrey to see her beloved uncle with a hangover. She didn’t deserve for you to put her in a dangerous situation last night, and she doesn’t need to see that. So Cormac is picking me up, and we’re going out for the day. Then he’s coming back here, but you need to apologize to him because he’s one of the few genuine friends you have. I also gathered up all the liquor bottles in this house and put them in a box. I want you to call the homeowner or the rental manager and have them pick them up this morning. Do all that, and I’ll think about forgiving you.”
“Consider it done,” Brooks said, rinsing his mouth. Holy fuck, I feel sick.
“I’ll consider it done when it’s done. Get yourself cleaned up. Cormac will be here in ten minutes.”
Without waiting for him to respond, Kayla left, shutting the door behind her.
Brooks closed his eyes, resting his weight on his hands as he leaned on the counter.
So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He’d finally done it. Pushed away the closest people to him, thrown five years of sobriety out the window, come onto a sweet woman while drunk . . . and that didn’t even take into account the assault charges or the fact that he hadn’t contacted Ava with any sort of plan for his image rebrand.
Or even really thought about it.
Because the truth was . . . I don’t want it anymore.
Not the fame. Not the label. Not the control.
Music had long since lost its luster, and he could barely write what he wanted anymore. His well of inspiration was dry.
He didn’t care about firing Darren or getting dropped from his label.
Because I have one foot out the door already.
All he wanted was to be left alone and live his miserable fucking life in peace with the few people who would tolerate him.
He couldn’t believe Maddie had stayed.
Two awful nights in the past week. Both times, she’d been there. Hell, she’d even let him sleep on her couch without knowing him.
Because she’s a good person.
A kind person.
And I’ve treated her like shit.
He owed her so many apologies he didn’t even know where to start.
Meeting his gaze in the reflection of the bathroom mirror, he glared at himself.
Brooks, you’re an asshole. You don’t deserve to even talk to Madison Yardley again.
Self-loathing filled him and he tore his gaze away. He had no choice but to perform at the country fair. And he couldn’t ask anything more of Maddie. Fuck.
He showered and got dressed, his stomach feeling weak the whole time, then left the bedroom for the living room. Audrey was watching cartoons, but she popped her head up as he came into the room. “Morning, Uncle Books!” She barreled toward him and threw her arms up with an innocent, happy smile on her face.
Lifting her, Brooks pulled her close, tears stinging his eyes.
Kayla’s censure rang through his head. “She didn’t deserve for you to put her in a dangerous situation last night . . .”
What the hell did I do?
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry,” he whispered into the soft angelic curls that framed her face.
As he set her down, he saw Kayla and Cormac at the kitchen table. Maddie wasn’t anywhere in sight, though.
Did she leave?
“You go on watching your cartoons,” Brooks told Audrey. “We’ll talk some more after breakfast.”
Cormac stood awkwardly as Brooks approached, giving Brooks a once-over.
Brooks held out his hand. “I owe you, man. I’m sorry.”
Cormac shook his hand, his eyes boring into Brooks. “It’s all good. You okay?”
Brooks nodded. “Feel like shit, but yeah.”
Kayla smiled tautly and stood beside Cormac. “Alcohol is in the dining room. Call the homeowner. Don’t wait up for us for dinner, but we’ll be back.”
Brooks’s gut simmered. She was still furious. She didn’t hug him or offer any real consolation. But I don’t blame her, either.
When they’d gone, Brooks went over to the television and shut it off. The silence was deafening.
He was alone.
And deserved it.
Big, fancy-ass house and not a single person to fill it with.
He plopped down on the couch and took out his phone. Firing off a quick message to the owner of the rental, he set his phone down on the empty seat beside him and laid his head back, feeling sick to his stomach.
He didn’t know what was worse—that he was sitting here feeling sorry for himself or the fact that he’d made his own bed.
The sound of the back door opening caught his attention, and he glanced over as Maddie came inside, a mug in her hands.
She gave him a grim smile, then ambled over toward him. “Morning, sunshine.”
Sunshine.
He couldn’t have thought of a better description.
That’s what she is.
“You stayed,” he mumbled.
She sat on the coffee table across from him. “Someone had to take care of the toddler with night terrors. We ended up sleeping in your bed. Hope you don’t mind.”
Oh God.
The hazy memory of someone singing “Hallelujah” and “Wildfire” came back. Maddie?
“I owe you . . . so much more than I could ever owe anyone.” He searched her gaze. “Consider the ten hours paid off.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I already did.” She sipped the coffee in her mug, then set it down. “Are we going to talk about what happened last night?”
Brooks shook his head, leaning back against the pillow. “What happened is that I decided to torpedo the few good relationships I had left. I’m a piece of crap, Maddie. Just as wicked and horrible as everyone thinks. I put Audrey in danger, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. And I’m exhausted.”
“First, she wasn’t in danger. I was here.” Maddie reached across the space between them and took his hand. “And you need to stop repeating that bullshit. Repeat it enough and you’re going to believe it, Brooks. You are not a piece of crap.”
He gave a lifeless smile. “How would you know? You barely know me.”
“You’re right. I don’t. But how many people really know you? How often do you give people the chance to know you?”
“There’s nothing there worth knowing.” Brooks brushed the back of her knuckles with his thumb. “You want to hear something? I’m about to get dropped from my label. My manager wanted me to check into rehab and go to sex therapy—he thought it would look good to the press as an image makeover—but I refused because even I won’t pretend those are my issues for the sake of PR. The head of my label gave me a week’s deadline to pitch a rebrand to her. I’m not going to. Because I don’t even care.”
“Good.”
He gave her a puzzled look. “Good?”
“Yeah, I think it would be good for you. You’re clearly miserable. And if you’re working with people who are asking things of you that you’re morally opposed to, why continue?”
He gave her a jaunty smile. “What about my art? My fans?”
“Fuck them.” She shook her head as he chuckled. “I’m serious. You don’t owe people anything to the point of sacrificing your mental and emotional health.”
She shifted. “Kayla told me about your mom this morning. How depressed she was all your life. How much time you spent helping babysit and cooking meals and being a parent when you were just a kid. And then how you took over and raised Kayla once your mom died. You went from that to being an international rock star, which may be great on the surface, but doesn’t have a lot of depth.” Maddie squeezed his hand. “I think it’s time for Brooks to take care of Brooks.”
“Not sure if I know how to do that.” He didn’t say it in a self-pitying way, but it sounded that way to his ears.
“Then start by letting your friends and family take care of you.”
Brooks let his gaze drift over her. “Is that what you are, Madison?”
“You haven’t scared me away yet, Brooks.” She gestured to her messy hair, joggers, and sweatshirt. “I even came over here looking like this last night, all because Cormac wanted me to check on you. So yeah, I’d say I’m your friend.”
How didn’t I scare her away?
He hadn’t always been nice to her. And the times they’d gotten along, he’d told her about the ugliest parts of his past.
He gripped her hand more firmly. “I owe you an apology. For being an ass to you all week and for coming onto you last night. I, uh . . .”
“Forget it, it’s fine. I know you were drunk.”
“I wasn’t drunk all week.”
She sighed and pulled her hand away. “You’re hurting, Brooks. It’s not an excuse for your behavior, but it is a reason. Even animals do it—hence the wounded dog metaphor. The important thing is that you recognize only you can fix it. That you need to work on healing. Besides, I owe you an apology, too. I never should have blackmailed you. It was wrong of me.”
Now she’s apologizing . . . to me?
That’s unfathomable.
“Words of wisdom with Madison Yardley?” His lips curved in a smile. “You’d think I’m the younger one between the two of us.”
She smiled and climbed to her feet. “Come on. Get up.”
“Why?”
“Because you need to get out of this house. You need to work on being a person again, Brooks. So I’m going to show you around Brandywood, and I don’t want to hear a word of complaint. I already told my sister I’m not going into the Depot today.”
Why is she so . . . reasonable? Forgiving?
He didn’t deserve the kindness she’d shown him.
Despite not wanting to do anything but lie on the couch, Brooks nodded.
He didn’t want to disappoint Maddie. Not after caring for his family the night before. She stayed so Audrey was safe.
“Let me just grab some things.” He left her there and headed back to the bedroom.
With sunglasses and a baseball cap in hand, he rejoined her a minute later, and they headed out the front door. “Is that your disguise?” she asked with a grin.
“Yup. Also, I’m driving, if you don’t mind.”
She gave him a quizzical look. “How are you driving?” She held up her keys. “I’m pretty sure I’m the only one with a car here. And a better accident record, as of late.”
“It’s just a habit I got into after my mom died.” If he could control the method of transportation, he’d be safer.
Except Maddie was right. He’d wrecked right into her store the other day.
He released a tense breath. “You know what? It’s fine. You drive.”
A sports car approached and pulled into the driveway. Both he and Maddie turned as the car parked behind Maddie’s, then the door opened, and a dark-haired man wearing a sweater and khakis climbed out.
“Hey, Jason.” Maddie waved at him as the man pushed his sunglasses back.
That’s a relief. At least Maddie knows him.
“Hey . . .” Jason gave her a curious look. “I didn’t expect to find a Yardley here.”
“Brooks is a friend of mine,” Maddie said with an effortless smile. She opened her car door. “I’ll just wait in the car.”
As the door shut behind her, Brooks turned toward Jason, who approached with his hand out. “Jason Cavanaugh. I’m the owner of this property. I got your message and was in the area, so I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.”
Brooks shook his hand. God, this is embarrassing. “Yeah, sorry to bother you. I . . . just would prefer to take the alcohol out of the house. My sister boxed it up and put it in the dining room.”
“No problem. You finding everything else in the house okay?” Jason had an easygoing vibe, one that told Brooks he’d spent a long time in business. Or customer service. But considering the cost of this property, probably the former.
“Yeah, it’s fantastic.” Brooks glanced over his shoulder at Maddie’s idling car. “I’m actually thinking of renting it for longer, if I can.”
Jason pulled out his phone. “I think most of the weekends in September are booked, unfortunately. Sorry about that.”
“Just the weekends?”
Jason nodded.
“I might be able to work around that.”
What am I even saying?
Yet he didn’t want to leave. Couldn’t imagine it right now. Despite the night before, he’d felt a strange peace here. Like he needed to be here.
Jason glanced over his phone. “Getting attached, huh?”
“Something like that.”
Jason gave him an amiable smile. “Brandywood has a way of doing that. I’m a transplant, actually. Grew up in Chicago, but I can’t imagine living anywhere else now.”
Brooks nodded politely. His eyes flicked to the beautiful blonde waiting for him in her car. The one he was going to allow to drive him somewhere.
He wasn’t sure the town had anything to do with it.