Chapter 16
It was warm outside. It was always warm in the Tango Lowlands, the flat coastal stretch on the southwest side of St. Felipe, where the wind blew steadily off the water, and the humidity became like a second skin.
But Remi was cold. The kind of cold that had nothing to do with temperature and everything to do with the hollowness in her chest.
With a clearer head after her shower, it took only seconds to recognize where Everett had brought her.
She’d only been to Sebastian’s bungalow a handful of times in the past, marveling at the view from a hundred feet above the black sand beaches that St. Felipe was known for.
The place was uncomplicated. There was only one bedroom, furnished with little more than a bed, a dresser, and a recliner in the corner.
A smaller room off to the side contained his gym equipment and a home office, while the living room opened directly onto a wooden deck overlooking the sea.
As safe houses went, it was close to perfect. A fortress disguised as a jungle hideaway, with the added benefit of being almost impossible to find unless you already knew where it was.
Everett stood at the far end of the deck with his back partially to her, a phone held to his ear. He was still in the shirt he’d arrived in, dried blood staining the fabric.
His voice was low enough that she could only catch fragments.
“… until I can get another location sorted … Hunter is working on it … no more than three days, Seb … ” A pause. His shoulders settled. “Yeah.” Another pause. He seemed satisfied with what came back. “I’ll be in touch.”
He ended the call.
When he turned, his eyes found her standing in the doorway.
She ran a hand through her wet hair and immediately regretted it. Her fingers brushed against a knot that sent a bolt of pain through her skull.
The problem was that she was suddenly aware of herself in a way that had no business surfacing tonight.
She was achingly conscious of his presence as she stood across from him, wearing his clothes with no makeup and wet hair and remembering how much he loved to see her this way.
It was intoxicating and distracting, two things she didn’t need to feel after what she’d done tonight.
She winced before she could stop herself as the pain registered. An involuntary sound she wished back the moment it escaped her.
Everett crossed the room and stopped next to her, so close she could see the faint shadow of fatigue beneath his eyes. He reached up, and she held her breath as his hand came closer. His fingertips parted her damp hair near the back of her head with a careful gentleness.
The look on his face when he found it told her everything she didn’t want confirmed. Worry broke across his face, plain and unguarded.
“How did this happen?” His voice dropped, barely hiding the effort it took him to stay calm.
She frowned at the question she knew was coming. But she didn’t have an answer. She couldn’t remember. The last few hours had collapsed into one another until she couldn’t separate one moment from the next.
She looked away from his face and from the kindness in it that she wasn’t sure she deserved.
“I don’t remember,” she whispered.
“Remington …”
“I wouldn’t lie to you. Not after everything you’re risking to help me.” She inhaled a deep breath, relieved to see acceptance in his gaze. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll remember later. Maybe I won’t. Who knows?”
“I’ll get you some ice for that.”
He turned toward the refrigerator, but she stopped him, grabbing his arm. Keeping him close.
“I’m fine.” She rubbed her eyes. The night had drained her, leaving behind a pressure that drew the air from her lungs and replaced it with a thick, private dread. She hadn’t noticed until now, but her hands trembled when she pulled them away from her face.
“So much for not lying to me,” Everett said.
She looked up and caught the hint of a smile playing on his lips.
Was he teasing her at a time like this?
And why did it make her love him all the more?
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“That you should get out of that bloody shirt.” She bit her bottom lip as he glanced down like he didn’t know her impromptu hug had stained him with the evidence of Bobby’s death. Of the murder she’d committed.
“I will … once the water heats up again.”
“How did you know I used up all the hot water?”
“You were in there for three hours and sixteen minutes …”
“But who’s counting?”
“Not me.” He smiled at her.
A small chuckle escaped her lips. “You know what’s funny?”
“What?”
“Remember all the whispers behind my back about my father when we were in high school?” Her fingers curled at her sides.
“The taunting about how I’d follow in his footsteps.
” A short, mirthless exhale left her. “They said it was only a matter of time.” A tear slipped down her face.
“He’s different now. Not that man anymore.
But I guess, when it’s in your blood …” She sucked in a sharp breath.
“Turns out they were right. I’m a killer, too. ”
“I don’t believe that.” He took her face between his palms. “And neither do you.” His palms curved against her cheeks. His thumbs caressed her jaw. He looked at her the way he used to, without apology, as though he’d made his peace with what he felt and saw no reason to hide it from her.
“Let me remind you of who you are, Remington.” He held her face as if it were the only thing in the world worth holding, his hands warm and steady on her cheeks.
“You’re the toughest person I’ve ever met.
Even when you want to give up, you don’t.
You survive things other people would walk away from.
You take care of people who don’t deserve it.
You love with everything you have, and anyone who’s ever mattered to you knows it. ”
He gently threaded his fingers through her hair, twisting a damp strand the way he’d done hundreds of times before.
“What happened tonight doesn’t define you, and it sure as fuck doesn’t change who you are …” he rested his free hand over her heart. “In here.”
She was aware of the exact distance between them, or rather, the lack of it, as he moved closer to her. Or she moved closer to him. Maybe they moved in sync with each other. Their bodies moved through a silent negotiation neither of them seemed able to stop.
Then his mouth was on hers.
The slow, deliberate touch of a man who worried she might shatter in his hands.
He was careful, so careful, as if he could undo the violence of the evening by kissing her gently enough.
She wanted to believe that a kiss could heal the broken places in her, or at least confuse them enough to make her forget the worst of what she’d done.
His lips explored hers with a patience that made the rest of the world retreat. Everett kissed her the way he did everything, with a precision that bordered on reverence, as if he knew when to deepen the pressure, when to soften, when to draw away and return.
Her arms didn’t lift to reach for him. Her hands didn’t find his shirt or his chest or the back of his neck.
She didn’t move at all. She just allowed it.
Allowed his mouth to have whatever this was.
Allowed herself to stand inside it the way she’d stood inside the scalding shower, face turned up into the spray, taking what was given without pulling back.
Something swirled within her. A small, distant warmth, teasingly close yet still far away. It was there. Briefly. Her body, numb for so long, had unlocked slowly for the one person who held the master key.
And then he pulled away, taking the fleeting feelings with him.
For a half second, she wanted to reach out and hold him, press her lips to his, and kiss him until she couldn’t breathe, but her arms refused to move.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, backing away. “It’s been a long night. I’m not thinking ... ” He exhaled a heavy breath. “That crossed a line. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of the situation. It was wrong.” His gaze locked onto hers. “It won’t happen again.”
Before she could protest or figure out what to say, he was already moving.
“You should get some sleep,” he called out, not looking back at her. “I’m going to take a shower.”
If the kiss had done to him what it had done to her, a shower was the least of what he needed.
Remi watched him go.
This was for the best. For now.
She turned and walked into the bedroom, pulling the door gently shut behind her.