Chapter Seven
“W e got people for that, you know.”
Nate, standing in one of the stables at Frosted Firs Ranch, dragged his forearm over his sweaty forehead and glanced over his shoulder where Tucker stood in the doorway, his fists propped on his hips and one eyebrow lifted, a look of derision in his eyes.
“I’m aware of that,” Nate said. Returning to the task at hand, he dug his shovel into the soiled shavings on the stall floor, lifted it and dumped the contents into a wheelbarrow that sat nearby. “But I preferred to get a little exercise today. Anything wrong with that?”
“Not a thing.” Tucker sauntered farther inside the stable and leaned on one of the stalls nearby, watching Nate through narrowed eyes as he resumed mucking the stall. “Thing is, I wouldn’t question what you’re doing except for the fact that it’s freezing out here and you haven’t taken it upon yourself to muck out a stall in at least six months.”
Nate dug his shovel into the soiled shavings again, shook off the clean bits, then dumped the manure that remained into the wheelbarrow with more force than necessary. Metal clanged on metal as the shovel dinged the side of the wheelbarrow, the raucous noise echoing throughout the empty stable.
“So . . .” Tucker sighed. “It’s clear something’s eating at you. You might as well just come on out with it and tell me what’s up.”
“I never said anything was bothering me.”
Tucker laughed. “And that right there is the problem. For three days now, you’ve been making yourself scarce and working yourself to the bone. Even Roxie has asked if there’s something wrong with you.”
Nate lowered his shovel to the floor, propped the handle against the door of the stall, then leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. “There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s just a lot of work to do around here and I don’t mind pitching in even when I don’t have to.”
Tucker made a face and rolled his eyes, then glanced away briefly, looking out the open entrance of the stable. “Whatever. I’m just telling you that you’ll feel better if you just get whatever it is that’s bugging you off your chest.” His attention returned to Nate, his eyes seeming to peer right through him and pick apart his thoughts. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t already know what’s on your mind.”
Nate scoffed. “And what exactly do you think that is?”
“Our feisty little neighbor, Jordyn Banks.” Tucker grinned, his smile growing even wider as Nate fumed.
“There’s nothing going on between me and Jordyn.”
Tucker winked. “See, now I never said there was anything going on between you two. I just said she was on your mind, which must be true, seeing as how you jumped to such a conclusion.”
Nate smothered a groan and leaned more heavily against the wall behind him. He took his time tugging off his gloves and beating them together to shake off the shavings that clung to the sweaty material. “This isn’t something I want to discuss right now. Or . . . possibly ever.”
Smile fading, Tucker nodded. “I’m aware of that. But it’s hard to ignore the fact that you’re having a hard time shaking off your fascination with our new neighbor.”
Nate frowned. “What’re you talking about? Jordyn just got here barely a week ago—”
“I’m talking about the overarching issue here, brother.” Tucker crossed his arms over his chest, too, his mouth flattening into a stubborn line. “It’s not like we haven’t had this conversation before, so how about you don’t play coy with me right now?”
“What do you want me to say?” Nate tensed, holding his breath in his lungs for a moment, then inhaling deeply to tamp down his temper. “Are you wondering if Jordyn has caught my eye? Yes. She did—briefly. You wanna know what she asked me at the Candy Cane Fishing contest? She asked if I’d be interested in dating her and possibly pursuing a romantic relationship, and I gave her the same answer I’ve given every other woman who’s posed a similar question to me over the past six years. My answer didn’t seem to go over well with her, but being the mature and understanding woman she is, she accepted it graciously and moved on. As did I.”
Tucker, a stoic expression on his face and his burly arms still crossed over his chest, continued staring at him.
“There,” Nate said. “You’ve got the whole juicy story now. Does that make you happy?”
As Tucker continued his silent stare, Nate shifted from one boot to the other uncomfortably, then glanced at the open doorway of the stable, his gaze focusing on the field beyond.
It had been three days since the Candy Cane Fishing contest. The snow had melted along the foothills of the mountains, the sun shined a bit brighter than it had in weeks and the temperature, though frigid, had crept up a few degrees, lending the barest hint of warmth to the air. The combination of cold air, full sun, and a steady breeze made for a perfect winter’s day, the kind he would normally enjoy with Tucker and Roxie. In the past, the three of them would bundle up, climb into his truck, and drive to town to spend the afternoon strolling along the busy sidewalks, window shopping, enjoying the holiday decorations and grabbing a sweet snack or two along the way.
But today, he couldn’t quite shake the irritation he’d felt when Jordyn had sat opposite Mason Walker at the Candy Cane Fishing contest, laughing as though Mason was the most delightful acquaintance she’d made in her life.
“Mason’s got nothing on you, man,” Tucker said quietly.
Nate’s eyes shot back to his brother, the younger man’s uncanny ability to read his thoughts as surprising as ever.
“It wasn’t difficult to notice,” Tucker added. “I saw her sit with you during the contest, exchange a few words, then move to his table. You barely took your eyes off either of them the entire time. I could practically see and hear the steam whistling out of your ears.”
“Oh, Lord.” Nate rubbed his forehead. “Was I that obvious?”
Tucker tilted his head, considering this, then nodded. “Yeah. Your grinchy, green-eyed envy was on full display. At least to me.”
Nate closed his eyes, his face burning.
“Come on,” Tucker said. “It’s not like that’s a bad thing.” His tone changed, gentling on his next words. “It’s been six years, Nate. I know you loved Macy something fierce and that y’all had something special, but she’s been gone for some time now and I know she wouldn’t hold it against you if you were to move on.”
Nate clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together to distract himself from the gnawing ache of grief and guilt that spread through his chest. “I don’t want to move on.”
“I know,” Tucker said softly. “It’s much easier to just hide out, isn’t it? Dig yourself a hole, pull the dirt in over your head and pretend things are just great the way they are. Tell yourself that you’re content with reminiscing over what you had because you don’t want or need more than you’ve got.”
Nate looked at him then, his mouth twisting. “I don’t expect you to understand. You’ve never been married, never had a child or—”
“Never been the man you are,” Tucker finished for him, a muscle flexing in his jaw.
Nate shook his head. “That’s not what I was saying.”
“I know. You’d never say it out loud, but you don’t have to. It’s always been there between us—your disapproval of me and how I behave. Loud and clear.”
Nate leaned his head back against the stall and stared at the ceiling of the stable, sweat trickling down the back of his neck. “Can we please not do this now? I don’t feel up to arguing at the moment.”
“We’re not arguing. We’re having a conversation. The kind I wish we’d have more often, to be honest with you. You bottle things up so tight, you never give yourself a chance to just relax and breathe.”
That, unfortunately, was true.
On more than one occasion, Nate had shut Tucker down, refusing to answer his brother’s questions about what he wanted out of life, how he was dealing with the grief of losing Macy, and what he thought the future might hold for him. But he didn’t hold back talking with Tucker deliberately. It was just too painful to discuss the loss of his wife and too scary to face his future without her.
“I’m not trying to be difficult, Tucker. I’m just trying to take my time with things. Trying to get my feet under me before I even think about changing my life.”
“And how long will that be? It’s been six years.”
“And Roxie is still a little girl.” Nate bit his lower lip to still the tremor in his chin. “Do you know how hard it is to think about bringing another woman into her life? She never even had a chance to meet Macy. Never got the opportunity to know what it would feel like to have a mother or how wonderful a mother Macy would’ve been. And you want me to think about bringing another woman into her life simply to suit my needs? Potentially involving someone else whose ways might not fit in with the way Roxie likes things? A woman who might not sacrifice her own interests for Roxie the way Macy would have? A woman who might change her mind down the road or—”
“Pass away like Macy?”
Nate froze, absorbing the pain of the words that fell from his brother’s lips.
“I’m sorry,” Tucker said quietly. “I’m not trying to rub salt in the wound, and I understand what you’re saying. I’m just concerned about you. You’ve had countless opportunities over the past six years to try to move on, but you haven’t taken advantage of any of them.” An exasperated sound burst from his lips. “Even now, when you’re actually interested in a woman, you still aren’t willing to even consider trying to build a new relationship. You’re not obligated to grieve forever. You’re entitled to be happy again.”
Nate stared down at his boots, his vision blurring as he said quietly, “Knowing Roxie is happy is enough for me. And that’s the way I plan to keep it.”
Tucker released a heavy breath and turned away, walking toward the open door of the stable. He stopped short of it though and faced Nate again.
“Speaking of Roxie,” he said. “She’s been beggin’ to see that white quarter horse of Jordyn’s. I promised her I’d drive her over there when the sun came out and the snow melted a bit. We’re going to Chestnut Ridge now to see if Jordyn’s home, drop off another free load of firewood and ask her if she’d be willing to introduce Roxie to Star. It’ll just be an innocent, neighborly visit.” His mouth twisted, an ironic look in his eyes. “And it’ll make Roxie happy. You want to go?”
Nate stared. Did he? Of course, he did. He’d thought of little but Jordyn over the past three days. His mind had fixated on her friendly interactions with Mason at the Candy Cane Fishing contest and he’d kicked himself every time he imagined that he could have been sitting across from her where Mason had sat, making her laugh the same way, had he just answered Jordyn’s question differently.
But . . . no matter how much Tucker pushed for him to move on, he wasn’t ready to explore a new relationship. And misleading a woman was a sure way to stir up trouble. It was better, overall, to let things stay as they were.
“Thank you,” Nate said, “but no.”
Even though the snow had melted, Jordyn still couldn’t get over how magnificent her backyard was. She stood in the back lot of her property, tilted her head and breathed deeply, drawing in the fresh, cold mountain air. The brisk wind that swept over the landscape put a spring in her step as she walked over to stand next to the impressive tree the Nanas had dubbed Fabio.
Star, who’d been strolling through the back lot, took off, galloping across the field, her thick white mane rippling with each leap. Clearly, the brisk winter wind had put a spring in the mare’s step, too.
“She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Jordyn glanced up at the noble evergreen to her left and smiled. “Pretty pitiful, ha? Me standing out here in the middle of my field talking to myself. Well . . . I’m not exactly talking to myself—I’m talking to you. Though . . .” she reconsidered, “that might be even worse, seeing as how I’m talking to a tree.”
But she had to admit, Fabio Fraser was a good listener.
She’d woken up early this morning after a fitful night of sleep, made a hot, sweet cup of coffee in the new coffeemaker the Nanas had helped her pick out, bundled up in her warmest jacket and led Star out to the back field to admire the view and the perfect Fraser fir that still stood tall on her property.
Her surroundings had lifted her spirits at first, the rolling foothills and majestic mountain peaks in the distance reminding her of what a gorgeous stretch of property she now owned and how much potential it held for the new business she planned to build. But somehow that particular dream of breeding and training barrel racing horses had taken a back seat to her participation in the Christmas competition—and her preoccupation with Nate Reed.
“Oh, this is ridiculous,” she grumbled, kicking the dormant grass with the toe of her boot.
It was absolutely ridiculous to obsess over a man she’d just met and barely knew, much less grieve over what might’ve been, had he accepted her invitation to explore a relationship. And his rejection shouldn’t have disappointed her as much as it had. After all, the Nanas had already warned her that Nate wasn’t interested in any type of romantic encounter and that he’d already refused a number of women’s advances.
Only, she’d held out hope that Nate would respond differently to her. That perhaps he felt the electric energy sparking between them as deeply as she did.
But, in the end, Nate had rejected her, too. His response had stung her pride . . . and heart.
She supposed she should be grateful he’d been honest and direct with her from the get-go. At least now, she knew exactly where she stood. He wasn’t interested in a relationship, so she shouldn’t pursue one with him. They would be friendly enemies until the end of the Christmas competition and after that, they’d see each other in passing, as polite acquaintances.
Whatever admiration she still harbored for Nate Reed should be tucked away and only allowed to emerge occasionally as a casual appreciation for her new neighbor. That was all that would ever exist between her and Neighbor Nate, and it was better to know that now rather than later.
Wincing, she slipped her hand under her thick scarf and rubbed her chest. Oh, if only that knowledge didn’t sting quite as deeply as it did.
The rumble of an engine sounded at her back and, hand stilling against her sternum, she glanced over her shoulder, her breath catching at the site of Nate’s truck.
“Oh . . . kay,” she breathed.
Had Nate changed his mind?
Her hand lifted to her hair, her fingers hastily smoothing the windswept strands. Had he, after three days of mulling it over, reconsidered her proposition that they date, decided to drive over, apologize for turning her down, admit he’d made a mistake and beg her to allow him back into her good graces?
But when the doors opened, Tucker and Roxie hopped out instead.
Nate was nowhere in sight.
“Ms. Jordyn!” Roxie, her hair pulled back in her ever-present ponytail, bounded across the back lot toward Jordyn, a huge smile on her face. “We came to visit you!”
Taking a moment to dispel her disappointment at Nate’s absence, Jordyn smiled at the excited expression on Roxie’s face, knelt and beckoned the little girl over to her side. “Well, hello! What a wonderful surprise.”
Roxie drew to a stop inches from Jordyn’s knees, placed her small hands on Jordyn’s shoulders and grinned down at her. “Uncle Tucker said if we brought you firewood, you might let me meet Star.” She craned her neck, peering over Jordyn’s shoulder toward the white mare that frolicked in the back lot. “Is that her? Is that Star running?”
“Yep,” Jordyn said. “That’s Star, all right. And she’s pretty revved up this morning. This cold mountain air has put an extra kick in her step and she’s enjoying a good run.”
“How’s her time?” Tucker drawled as he ambled over to join his niece.
Jordyn shook her head. “I’m not timing her. We’re semiretired now, so Star just runs however far and fast as she likes, whenever she feels like it.”
“That’s a good life for a retired racehorse,” he said. “How long did you two tour the circuit?”
“Oh, I’ve been at it since I was eighteen, so seven years, give or take a month or two.”
“Same here,” Tucker said, grinning. “Don’t know if Nate told you or not, but I rode bulls for several years. Competed all over the country and placed in a few competitions before I settled back in Noel to help him out at Frosted Firs Ranch.”
“Really? I’m impressed.” Jordyn winked. “How many buckles did you win?”
“Oh,” Tucker drawled, a flirtatious gleam lighting his eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows. “It wasn’t actually the buckles I was after.”
Jordyn laughed. “I see. I tell you what, you and your brother couldn’t be more different if you tried.”
Tucker chuckled, but a wry note entered his voice. “Believe me, I’m aware of that.”
Oh, boy. The crestfallen look on Tucker’s face was enough to prove she’d hit a nerve.
“I . . . I didn’t mean anything by that,” Jordyn said hastily. “I’m sorry if I—”
“No worries.” Tucker’s charming grin returned full force and he waved off her concern. “I’m well aware that Nate and I are polar opposites and”—he cast a surreptitious glance at Roxie—“that’s the main reason I’m here. Aside from the fact,” he added in a louder voice, “that Roxie has been beggin’ to get an up-close peek at a famous barrel racer.” He reached out and ruffled Roxie’s blond bangs. “Haven’t you, kid?”
Roxie nodded, her eyes clinging to Star’s movements as the mare dashed across the back lot. “Yes, sir.” She peeled her attention away from Star and blinked up at Jordyn, a hopeful expression on her face. “Can I see Star up close, please?”
Jordyn tapped Roxie’s nose, a wave of affection washing over her at the eager plea in the little girl’s eyes. “Of course, you can. Star loves meeting new people and you’re always welcome to visit her anytime you feel like it.”
Taking Roxie’s hand in hers, Jordyn led her further into the back lot and whistled. Star, still galloping across the field, changed direction, then trotted over, slowing to a relaxed walk when she reached Jordyn. Stopping by Jordyn’s side, the mare nudged Jordyn’s chest with her broad head.
“She comes when you whistle!” Roxie’s wide eyes roved over the white mare slowly, a bright smile appearing.
“That she does,” Jordyn said. “Took me a while to train her, though. She was pretty ornery when I got her, but she came around eventually.”
“Is she fun to ride?” Roxie asked.
“You bet!” Jordyn reached out and tugged the little girl’s ponytail gently. “But it can be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Do you think I might could ride her someday?”
Jordyn furrowed her brow and touched her finger to her lips as if in thought, then said to Roxie, “I think we might can make that happen. It’d be best if you two got to know each other first, though. That way Star’ll be familiar with you before your first ride with her and she’ll be much more relaxed.”
“When can I start getting to know her?”
“How about now?”
A full-blown smile, full of delight, broke out across Roxie’s face. “Yes, please!”
Jordyn reached into the pocket of her jacket, pulled out a small plastic bag of apple slices and handed one to Roxie. “Here.” She cupped Roxie’s hand in hers and raised it toward Star. “Let’s give her a snack, shall we?”
As she picked up the sweet scent of apples, Star’s nose worked overtime, searching for her favorite treat. She ducked her head and nibbled at the apple slice in Roxie’s hand, making the little girl giggle.
Roxie squealed. “That tickles!”
Jordyn laughed. “Yeah. I have a hard time keeping a straight face when I feed her, too. And you’re doing an excellent job, by the way.”
Roxie flushed with joy. “Thank you. Can I feed her another one?”
“Oh, she’s probably ready to take off again now that she’s had a snack. Move a little closer—we’ll give her a pet and then she’ll probably take off.”
Roxie did as Jordyn asked, allowing Jordyn to lift her arm toward the mare, then stroked her neck gently and stepped away.
“All right, girl,” Jordyn said to Star. “Go have fun.”
Star, satisfied with her snack and a dose of loving attention, moved away then took off, sprinting across the back lot again into the distance.
“Can I follow her, Uncle Tucker?” Roxie pleaded, bouncing excitedly. “And watch her for a while?”
Smiling, Tucker nodded. “Go ahead. But be sure to keep your distance because she doesn’t know you well enough yet to feel completely secure.”
Roxie ran across the field, shouting over her shoulder, “I will, Uncle Tucker!”
Tucker walked over to Jordyn’s side, and they stood there by the Fraser fir tree, watching Roxie skip across the back lot, waving at Star as she galloped in the distance.
Jordyn grinned, the charming delight on Roxie’s face warming her heart. “I do believe Roxie is the most well-mannered child I’ve ever met.”
“She gets that from her mama.”
The somber tone in Tucker’s voice drew Jordyn’s eyes. He still stared straight ahead, watching Roxie, leaving only his profile visible, but a muscle clenched in his jaw.
“Her mother, Macy, was a good woman,” he continued quietly. “She loved the holidays—any holiday—but especially Christmas.” A gentle smile curved his lips. “She was good for Nate, and he was good for her. They grew up together here in Noel. Shared a lot of history between them.” He shook his head, his smile fading. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen a couple more in love than they were.”
It was nothing Jordyn didn’t already know, but hearing the words . . .
Well, that hurt just a little bit more than she’d expected.
Neck heating, she lowered her head, half ashamed. What kind of woman would be jealous of a man’s late wife? Of course, Nate had loved Macy. He’d married her and had a child with her. From all accounts, he’d been deeply in love and had every right to miss Macy.
Only, she couldn’t quite shake the longing that had rooted deep inside her. The one that kept her wishing Nate might have had a little room left over in his heart for her, too.
“I’m glad he was happy,” she said quietly. “That kind of love can be hard to find nowadays.”
“Yes,” Tucker said. “It can.”
They fell silent, the cold wind whistling between them as Star galloped in the distance, Roxie still watching with avid interest.
“Nate could be happy that way again,” Tucker said. “If he allowed himself to, that is.”
Her cheeks prickled under the weight of Tucker’s scrutiny, and she glanced over at him, the compassionate—somewhat pitying—look in his eyes making her squirm with humiliation.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to butt into your private life,” Tucker said. “Or his, for that matter. He’d kill me if he knew I was talking to you like this. But I know he’s pushed you away already. I also know that he took a deep liking to you the moment he met you. And I can tell you firsthand, that doesn’t happen for Nate. Not even with Macy. Not ever.”
Her heart stumbled as she whispered, “For me, either.”
Tucker ducked his head and faced forward again, his blue eyes—so like Nate’s—following Star’s progress across the field. “I’m sure you know as well as I do that horses are a lot like people. Most of ’em have times when they’re afraid of what they don’t know and are unsure whether they can trust people they’ve just met. They feel emotions as deeply as we do and sometimes it scares them . . . especially considering their happiness is dependent upon the actions and goodwill of someone else.”
Jordyn fixed her gaze on Roxie, waving back as Roxie, smiling, waved in Jordyn’s direction.
“Nate’s scared, is all—though he’ll never tell you that,” Tucker said. “He just needs a nudge from the right woman. One who’s fallen for him as deeply as he’s fallen for her. One with light hands who’s used to throwing her hat in the ring, taking a risk and accepting the possibility of getting hurt.” He glanced at her again. “You understand what I’m saying, J?”
Pulse fluttering with a heady surge of excitement and dismay, she nodded.
Tucker grinned. “Good. Because as far as Nate’s concerned, if you take him by the bit and nudge him in the right direction, he’ll come around eventually.”