Chapter Thirteen
“N ervous?”
Nate stilled in the act of lifting the cup he held to his mouth and glanced to his left, where Tucker sat in the chair beside him on the stage in Noel’s town square.
“Why?” Nate frowned.
Smiling, Tucker gestured toward the cup in his hand. “Because you’ve been tipping that cup back every five minutes for the past ten minutes and it’s been empty for over half an hour.”
Nate glanced down at the empty cup in his hand and grimaced. Even he had to admit that he had been somewhat preoccupied during the initial proceedings of Noel’s Christmas Crowning. But that wasn’t totally his fault. He had good reason to be distracted and even more reason to be worried.
Last night, after Roxie had finished introducing their Fraser fir tree to the judges, he had searched for Jordyn in the crowd, hoping to catch her attention and speak with her. But she was gone, disappearing into the darkness that engulfed the outskirts of his ranch.
He’d wanted to go after her, but people still milled about the Christmas tree lots on his ranch, their interest apparently piqued by the viewing of the Christmas tree entries. Over the next two hours, he and Tucker had sold, cut down, and loaded more trees into trucks and vans than they had over the past two days combined.
Win or lose, the Christmas tree contest had boosted sales at Frosted Firs Ranch and made the night a resounding success. Well, except where Jordyn was concerned.
He couldn’t blame her though. For weeks, he’d been giving her mixed signals about his true intentions, and even now he wasn’t completely sure how he planned to proceed with their relationship. But, for the first time in years, he knew without a doubt that he did want to pursue something new—a new romance, love, and family . . . with Jordyn.
Rather than frightening him, the revelation excited him and he’d picked up his cell phone multiple times last night, wanting to call her and tell her how he felt. But the evening’s Christmas tree contest had made for a long day and the late hour had certainly not been the best time to broach a subject of such importance—especially over the phone.
So, he’d tucked Roxie into bed, sprawled out on his own, and stared at the ceiling for hours, wondering what the future held and how inviting Jordyn into his life might affect Roxie. But somehow, he eventually slept—deeply and soundly—and had awoken this morning refreshed and energetic, eager to tackle the day.
He’d gone to work with plans of leaving early in the afternoon to drive over to Chestnut Ridge and visit Jordyn, but the crowds had grown even bigger at the gift shop than in recent days, and he had been unable to escape from the cash register. He’d ended up spending the majority of his day ringing up customers, wrapping gifts, and carrying large purchases out to vehicles.
He’d wanted to see Jordyn before tonight’s Christmas ceremony, to speak to her and tell her what he was thinking and feeling. But as had been the case for them since the day they’d met, it seemed the time hadn’t been right. And from the guarded expression Jordyn had sported when she’d arrived moments ago, the time might not be right tonight either.
Nate glanced to his right, where Jordyn sat in a chair on the other side of the Stone family. She wore a beautiful green dress that contrasted appealingly with her ivory skin and highlighted the warm red waves of her hair. He studied her face, his gaze lingering on her mouth, and he had an almost overwhelming urge to stand, cross the stage, pull her into his arms and share with her, openly and honestly, all of his fears and dreams and hopes for the future that he hoped to build with her.
It had taken so long for him to see things clearly and finally let go of his grief over losing Macy. Last night, hearing Roxie’s loving words about her mother had driven home the truth that though Macy was gone, her memory had not faded and would never completely disappear from their lives. Now Roxie treasured it in her heart, and that was what Nate had wanted most of all—for Roxie to know and love the mother she’d never had the opportunity to meet.
But now, a different kind of opportunity waited right in front of him as it had for weeks. He’d just been too afraid to take a chance and reach out.
Sensing his scrutiny, Jordyn turned her head, her eyes meeting his, holding his gaze. He smiled tentatively and after a moment, she smiled back, though the movement was small and restrained.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!”
Carol Belle, flanked by the three other Nanas, walked to the microphone in the center of the stage and greeted the crowd.
“We’ve reached the moment you’ve all been waiting for,” she continued. “Tonight, we’re going to announce the winner of Noel’s Christmas tree contest. After the winner is announced, a crew will visit the owner’s property tomorrow afternoon, chop down the tree, wrap it carefully, and transport it to the town square, where it will be put on display for the entire town to enjoy. We extend our best wishes and good luck to the participants.”
There was a brief round of applause.
“Also,” Kandy said into the mic, “after the winner of the tree competition is announced and celebrated, we will also announce the winner of the Christmas Crown. As you know, the winner of the crown is the individual or team who has earned the most points over the course of the twelve contests. The crown will be presented tonight, and the recipient will be the guest of honor at Noel’s annual Christmas Eve celebration!”
The crowd applauded again, smiles and cheerful chatter echoing all around the town square.
“Now,” Carol Belle said, “without further ado, Eve will announce this year’s Christmas tree winner.”
Eve, standing to the left of Carol Belle, smiled and made her way to the microphone. She adjusted the height, the mic squealed briefly, then she tapped it with one finger and smiled.
“The judges just handed me the name of the owner of the winning Christmas tree,” Eve said, lifting a small piece of paper in her hand. She tucked her finger under one edge and dragged it across the fold, unsealing it. She unfolded it, read it, and, a wide smile spreading across her face, shouted, “This year’s winner of the Christmas tree contest is Jordyn Banks!”
The crowd gathered below the stage erupted in applause, yelling and shouting its approval.
“We’re all very proud of Jordyn,” Holly said, sweeping an arm in Jordyn’s direction. “As a newcomer, she’s thrown herself into our Christmas competition and given her all in every contest. The judges also wrote that they were impressed with the theme of her tree as it reflects the most important values of Noel, which include appreciating the beauty of our town, helping each other, and finding joy in the simple things in life.” She waved her hand, motioning for Jordyn to join her. “Come on, Jordyn. Accept your award, step up to the mic and say a few words.”
Nate glanced at Jordyn, who rose unsteadily to her feet. Instead of the exuberance he expected to see on her face, she seemed hesitant, unsure and a bit . . . regretful.
“Ms. Jordyn won!” Roxie shouted from her seat beside him. Watching Jordyn approach the microphone, she clapped her hands and smiled brighter. “Isn’t that wonderful, Daddy?”
Nate nodded and despite the uncertainty coursing through him at Jordyn’s anxious expression, he said, “Yes, it is. I’m very happy she won. She deserves it.”
And he truly meant it. He was thrilled Jordyn’s perfect Fraser fir had won, and didn’t feel the least bit disappointed that his tree had lost. But Jordyn didn’t seem to share the same excitement he and Roxie felt over her win.
The crowd continued applauding, but the clapping died down as Jordyn arrived at the microphone. Each of the Nanas hugged Jordyn, then stepped back, giving her room to speak.
“I, um . . .” Jordyn lifted one hand and tucked a wavy strand of her red hair behind her ear. Her fingers trembled. “Thank you for this award.” Her voice shook slightly. “And thank you for welcoming me to your town. Everyone has been so wonderful and kind.” Slowly, she turned her head, glancing in Nate and Roxie’s direction. “You’ve truly made this Christmas the most special it’s ever been for me.”
Despite her affectionate words, her gaze held resignation. The sight of it sent a wave of dread through Nate.
Jordyn faced the crowd again, lifted her chin and said, “But I’m afraid I can’t accept this award. I’m officially withdrawing my Fraser fir from the Christmas Tree competition.”
“Jordyn, what’s going on?” Eve asked. “What do you mean, you can’t accept the award?”
Jordyn winced as Eve, standing beside her at the microphone in the center of the stage, stared at her with a shocked expression. “I’m sorry, Eve. I know how much a new Christmas tree contest winner meant to you and the rest of the Nanas and how much you wanted Fabio Fraser in the town square.”
“Then, why?” Carol Belle walked across the stage and placed her hand on Jordyn’s arm.
“Give her a moment, Carol Belle,” Kandy said. Her gaze held Jordyn’s, sorrow and understanding in her eyes. “She knows what she’s doing.”
“But she worked so hard in the Christmas competition, and she decorated that tree so beautifully.” Carol Belle took Jordyn’s hands in hers and shook her head. “You’ve earned this!”
The crowd of onlookers standing below the stage clapped encouragingly and a few shouted for Jordyn to accept the award.
Jordyn glanced out at the crowd, her gaze scanning the familiar faces that looked up at her. Many of the people encouraging her to accept the award she recognized as having competed against her in several of the Christmas contests. Others, she remembered cheering her on during the Terrible Tinsel Triathlon and celebrating her first-place win with as much excitement as she felt.
She hated to disappoint all of them by turning down the award, but in her heart, she knew it was the right thing to do.
“I know how much winning the Christmas tree competition mattered to everyone competing this year,” she said as the encouraging cheers of the crowd died down. “And I feel awful about taking one of the top three spots on the stage that could have been given to someone else and then turning down the award, but . . .”
Inhaling deeply, she glanced over her shoulder at Nate and Roxie, the confused expressions on their faces sending a new wave of regret through her.
She forced herself to face the crowd again and continue. “I just don’t have the heart to cut down the Fraser fir at Chestnut Ridge. You see, that tree might be just another Christmas tree to some of you, but for me, it’s the first real Christmas tree I’ve ever had.” She smiled gently. “And even better, it’s growing right in the backyard of my new home! A home that I’ve truly grown to love.” She looked down and sighed. “It just doesn’t seem right to cut down that tree, put it on display in the town square for a few days and then toss it away at the end of the holiday.”
All eyes were on her, and she squirmed uncomfortably, twisting her hands together at her waist.
“I just think,” she stated firmly, “that a tree as perfect as that should be left right where it is and allowed to grow. That tree grew perfectly beautiful all on its own. It’s the most perfect Christmas tree I’ve ever seen, and it should be celebrated all year long. Not for just a short month or two at the end of the year.”
A hush settled over the crowd and Jordyn stepped away from the microphone as she said softly, “I’m sorry to disappoint you and disrupt the Christmas ceremony.” She walked away, pausing at the edge of the stage to turn and whisper to the Nanas, “I’m so sorry.”
Disgruntled groans and voices peppered the air as people in the crowd began discussing the new development.
Jordyn, however, didn’t stick around to take stock of the damage she’d caused to the little town’s annual Christmas holiday celebration. Instead, she exited the stage and walked across the town square to the parking lot as quickly as her high-heeled shoes would allow. She had every intention of going home, stuffing her face full of sugar-laden holiday treats, crawling into her warm bed, pulling the covers over her head and licking her wounds.
She’d lie low for the rest of the Christmas season, then, hopefully, the Nanas and Noel’s residents might forgive her.
But just as she reached her truck, which was parked on the far side of the parking lot, she heard Nate call her name.
Her hand stilled on the door handle, and she closed her eyes for a moment, wishing she’d chosen a less dramatic exit from the Christmas competition. But last night, after Roxie’s beautiful presentation of the Christmas tree at Frosted Firs, she hadn’t anticipated winning the Christmas tree contest and had hoped that tonight she would be congratulating Nate, Roxie, and Tucker on their victory rather than accepting a win of her own.
Instead, her name had been called and there she was, sitting on stage in front of all of Noel’s residents, forced to make a decision on the spot.
“Jordyn?” Nate’s deep voice sounded close at her back. “Would you please slow down for a minute and talk to me?”
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and faced him, wincing at the hurt and confusion in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Nate. I truly didn’t mean to cause such a scene. But I didn’t expect to win, so I didn’t think I’d be put in that position to begin with.”
Nate shook his head. “What do you mean you didn’t think you would win? Your tree was perfect. You have to know that. It’s—hands-down—the best tree we’ve ever had in the competition.”
The warm approval in his tone made her smile—a real one that warmed her chest and broke her heart all at the same time.
“That means a lot to me,” she said, smiling wider. “I mean, considering it’s coming from a bona fide expert in Christmas trees and all.”
Nate smiled back and a soft chuckle escaped his lips. “I don’t know that I’m an expert, but I do know a thing or two about Christmas trees and I have to say, the love and attention you put into decorating yours made it outshine the others.”
Her smile faded. “I don’t think so. I think there was more love and affection in Roxie’s tree than could have ever been in mine.”
Nate held her gaze, his grin fading, too. “Roxie wanted to do something special for her mother this year. She asked me to help her incorporate the things Macy liked most and I—”
“You don’t have to explain,” she said quickly. “You had every right to dedicate your tree to Macy. I know you and Roxie both love her very much and still miss her.”
“Yes,” he said softly. “But—”
“I’ve thought it over and I think you’re right.”
He fell silent for a moment, staring back at her with a guarded expression, then asked, “Right about what?”
“You were right about thinking it wasn’t a good time to explore a relationship.” It hurt to say the words out loud. She could almost feel her heart breaking into a million pieces. “You told me you weren’t ready in the very beginning, and I should’ve listened. I never should have pushed you into something you weren’t ready for. And then there’s Roxie . . .”
Nate remained silent, his eyes searching her expression intently.
“It wasn’t until I spent some time alone with her, baking gingerbread”—she smiled gently at the memory—“that I realized how much she misses having a mother. And then I thought that if you and I started a relationship and somewhere down the road, you realized you weren’t really ready to let Macy go and didn’t have a place for me in your heart, I wouldn’t be able to bear the thought of walking away from her. And I couldn’t bear knowing that I’d been the cause of breaking her heart.” Her throat tightened and she swallowed past the knot forming in her throat, trying to keep her voice steady. “What I’m trying to say is that if I had to choose, I’d rather have you and Roxie in my life as good neighbors and friends rather than risk losing you both for good.”
Nate continued staring at her, his jaw clenching as he looked away, glancing back at the lights of the town square, where holiday music had begun playing and cheerful voices filled the air.
“Are you sure that’s the best way to avoid the risk?” he asked softly.
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
He faced her then, saying softly, “The Nanas—Kandy, in particular—told me during one of the Christmas contests that no matter what we might do to avoid it, life brings risk all the same.”
The wounded look in his blue eyes sent a wave of pain through her.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I think I agree with that. So, you see, I’m faced with a pretty tough dilemma. Either I risk loving and losing you and Roxie, or we remain neighbors and friends, and I keep you both in my life in some way.”
Something tickled her cheek and she brushed her hand over her face, wiping away a tear.
“I won’t cut my Fraser fir down,” she whispered, holding his gaze. “And I won’t risk losing you and Roxie. I plan to put roots down here in Noel. It already feels like home. Star and I will continue settling in at Chestnut Ridge, I’ll work on starting up my business, and every now and then I’ll pop over to Frosted Firs Ranch to use your oven and ask for advice.” She smiled, a real one this time. “We’ll be good friends. And maybe, down the road, when you’re truly ready, we can have this conversation again.”
Before she could change her mind, she rose to her toes, kissed his cheek, and whispered, “I wish, with all my heart, that you and Roxie have a very Merry Christmas.”
She returned to her truck, climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine. As she drove away, she glanced in the rearview mirror, a fresh wave of tears flowing freely down her face as Nate stood motionless in the dark and watched her leave.