Chapter 40
40
BEN
With her small hand tucked securely in mine, we head out into the cool night to my truck. The extra blankets I packed for the next part of our date will be essential.
Hope squeezes my hand and pulls me to a stop beside my truck. She tugs me around, tips her head back, and her genuine grin rocks my world. “I had the best time tonight. Thank you.” She rises onto her toes and presses her lips to mine. Soft and warm. Tender and gentle. Every atom in my body wants to slide my fingers into the fall of her hair and tilt her head back to deepen the kiss, but I want to let her take the lead. She pulls away too soon, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Next time, I’m gonna beat you.” She twists away from me playfully, and I tap her tight ass with a chuckle.
I raise my eyebrows. “That’s some smack talk right there. We’ll see,” I tell her as I open her door—thrilled she’s thinking about future dates.
She slides into the seat, and I drag the seatbelt across her body, breathing in her warm vanilla scent that sends my libido into overdrive. As I move back to stand, I turn my head and my eyes automatically drop to Hope’s lips. Her breath coasts across mine, and as if I have zero self-control, I lean forward and press my mouth to hers.
She sighs and I slip my tongue inside to taste her, something I’ve been dying to do all night. Her hand slides up over my shoulder and wraps around the back of my neck, holding me in place. I breathe her in as we kiss, exploring and tasting each other. Her breath becomes mine, and mine becomes hers—as if it were always meant to be this way. We take and we give, as if we’ve been kissing like this for years.
After too short a time, she pulls back slightly, and I’m relieved when I find her cheeks dry and a lazy, sexy grin on her lips. That look, right there, is all I’ll ever need until the end of time. I peck her lips and close her door, then make my way around to my side, adjusting myself discreetly as I slide behind the wheel.
“I thought we could pick up a couple of pizzas and head up the hill to enjoy them above the city lights.”
Hope smiles at me and my breath catches. She’s so beautiful when she’s like this. I mean, she’s always beautiful, but there’s something mesmerizing about her when she smiles. Especially when it’s aimed at me. “Sounds perfect.”
With the pizzas between us, I reverse park so we can enjoy the view over the city from the back of my truck. “Wait here, okay?”
Hope nods, confusion causing crinkles between her eyebrows. “Okay.”
I climb out and set up the back with the mattress, cushions, and a ton of blankets that I packed for our date—essential tonight with the brisk temperature. Once it’s set up to my liking, I turn on the twinkle lights, set up our picnic, grab the pizzas, then I open Hope’s door and hold my hand out to her.
She gasps and her free hand flies up to cover her mouth as we reach the back of my truck and she sees the set up. Her eyes slide up to mine, and the shock and surprise on her face is almost comical. “Ben,” she whispers on a breath. “This … it’s gorgeous.” She tears her gaze from mine and studies the bed of my truck. “You’ve thought of everything.”
“I hope so,” I tell her as I tug her forward and help her up.
She shimmies back, propping herself against the cushions and covers herself with a thick blanket, and I add another for good measure. I don’t want her to feel cold, so I place a woolen hat I bought for her on her head and a scarf around her neck. “These are gorgeous. You really have thought of everything.”
I grin, then get comfortable, dragging the blankets over myself, cocooning us together. Opening the pizza boxes, I lift the pizza closer to Hope so she can grab a slice. Her eyes drop closed on a moan when she takes her first bite, and suddenly my jeans are too tight. I imagine her responding in much the same way as I swipe my tongue through her lips and circle her clit with gentle strokes. Damn .
As much as I love hanging out with Evan, I’ve been looking forward to spending time alone with Hope. I want to discover if we have enough of a connection to be a couple without Evan as a buffer. I know I’m attracted to her. I also know she’s been struggling with her attraction to me out of guilt for her promise to her late husband. I need to know if our attraction goes deeper than the physical and beyond my sense of wanting to make life better for her. Are we compatible enough to have a friendship … a deeper bond based on commonalities and understanding, loyalty, and communication?
We’re both quiet as we eat, neither of us feeling the need to fill the silence. The soft hoot of an owl in the distance rings out in the darkness, and a gentle, cool breeze sends strands of Hope’s hair across her cheek. She chuckles, trying to push it away with the back of her wrist. I reach across, slide the wayward strands behind her ear, then trace my finger down the side of her soft cheek, eliciting a soft smile and sending my heart skittering across my ribs.
“Mmmm. I don’t think I could eat another bite,” Hope tells me as she closes the lid on the box, then rests her hand over her stomach.
I stack her box on top of mine and shove them out of the way. Once the space between us is clear, Hope shuffles closer to me. Her body heat seeps through her clothes and mine, and my soul sighs at having her initiate physical contact so freely. Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I tug her as close as possible and tighten the blankets over us, making the space cozy under a carpet of stars. “Tell me about Evan as a baby.”
She glances up at me with a soft smile and pink cheeks from the cool night air. “Gosh, where do I even start? I could talk about him all day.”
A soft smile touches my lips because she doesn’t even realize how that makes her a great mom.
“He was a terrible sleeper. Up all hours of the night. I don’t know how many hours I spent walking around the house in the dark, trying to coax him to sleep. I tried everything the nurses recommended, from making sure he had plenty of access to sunlight during the day, to tiring him out … nothing worked. Wyatt was overseas, so I was doing it all by myself. Our parents helped me as much as they could, but nighttime was the hardest. I was like a walking zombie for months, and then one day, he got the idea that nighttime was for sleeping. And while I should have been relieved, I panicked the first few nights because I was worried he’d stopped breathing.” She chuckles darkly. “Nothing like catastrophizing a situation in the middle of the night when you’re sleep deprived.”
I press her head against my shoulder and lean down to lay a kiss there. “That had to be a tough time.” Stroking my fingers along her temple and down her cheek, I kiss her again. I can’t seem to stop. “You’re incredible. You know that, right?” She doesn’t even realize that she’s been doing the single mom thing far longer than she’s had the support of a partner.
Her shoulder moves against my side. “I just did what I had to do. It wasn’t so bad.” She sighs. “I never knew how much a parent loves their child. I worried my heart would burst with how much love I had for Evan. It was almost shocking to realize that I loved him more than I loved Wyatt … and I loved him a lot.”
With my free hand, I drag the cooler over and grab the peach schnapps, pouring each of us a drink. I hand a glass to Hope and then tap my glass against hers in a silent toast. “To being an incredible mom with so much love to give.”
Hope scoffs. “Far from it, Ben. You know I’ve let my son down.”
“We all have times when we’re not at our best, Hope. That’s what it is to be human. It’s how you move forward from there that counts. I’ve seen a huge change in you guys since I first met you. You need to acknowledge those changes rather than always scolding yourself for where you fell down.” I watch her throat move as she takes in my words and teases them apart.
She hums her agreement while she smiles ever so slightly, then she takes a sip of the fruity drink. “Mmm, this is delicious.” She glances down at the glass, licking her lips, then back up to me, her eyebrows scrunched together. “This isn’t the type of drink I would have thought you’d like.”
I chuckle. “Funny story.” I hold my glass up, studying the contents with a smile. “Tahlia, Sebastian, and I used to sneak Tahlia’s mom’s peach schnapps. Then we’d top it off with water, so she wouldn’t notice. By the time we’d had a few drinks, we were drinking more water than schnapps.” I chuckle, then sip my drink. “I’m sure she noticed and didn’t say anything. But I got hooked on it and still have it occasionally.”
Hope bursts out laughing. “How old were you?”
I tip my head back and gaze at the stars as I think back. “Maybe fifteen or sixteen.”
“I can’t imagine the law-abiding man next to me drinking stolen alcohol. Underage, no less.” She laughs, and it goes straight to my heart. Her laugh has got to be one of the best sounds I’ve ever heard. I reach into the cooler and grab the dark chocolate I brought to pair with the schnapps. Hope snaps off a square and takes a delicate bite. “Oh, these go great together.”
I share more stories about Tahlia, Sebastian, and me, and Hope tells me more about Evan and her friendship with Clara. Time passes as we learn more about each other and it feels natural to share these parts of ourselves. I love the way her face lights up when she speaks of Evan, and I even get a couple of wistful smiles when she shares about her crush on Wyatt as a teen. I feel as though Hope’s letting me in behind her broken walls, and it’s exactly where I want to be.
She looks up at me with a sleepy smile, and I can’t resist sliding my fingers through her gorgeous curls and tracing down along her jaw until I reach her chin. Tipping her head back further, I erase the space between us and gently press my lips to hers. I’ll never get enough of kissing Hope. She opens her mouth, inviting me inside, and I don’t hesitate to deepen our connection. She tastes of rich dark chocolate, sweet peach schnapps, and everlasting promises .
She tastes of everything I’ve ever wanted … everything I need.
And as I kiss her beneath the stars, I know she’s the last woman I’ll ever kiss.