Chapter 43
43
BEN
I almost swallow my tongue when Hope pads into the kitchen wearing her sexy over-the-knee socks, my Foo Fighters T-shirt, and a long sweater draped over her slim shoulders.
Fuck!
As she climbs onto a stool at the island counter, I avert my gaze and clear my throat. “Feel better?”
“Much. Thank you.” From the corner of my eye, I see her lean forward on the counter. “I hope you don’t mind. I forgot to pack pajamas, so I borrowed one of your T-shirts.”
I glance at her, careful not to stare, but it’s damn hard not to when she’s wearing my favorite T-shirt. As she tugs her sweater around her body, it pulls down off one shoulder and I have to look away before I lose my self-control and kiss the naked expanse of skin. I clear my throat. “No problem. Anything I have is yours,” I tell her as I grab two glasses, then turn back for the bottle of wine.
Keeping my distance, I fill the glasses from the opposite side of the counter. Maybe if I keep a slab of granite and a bank of cupboards between us, I’ll be able to keep my hands and mouth to myself.
She lifts the glass to her lips and takes a sip, closing her eyes when the fruity liquid hits her tongue. Slowly, she opens her eyes and tips her glass toward me. “This is just what I needed after tonight. Thank you.”
“No problem. We’ll have everything sorted tomorrow, and you guys will be back to normal.” Her expression shutters, so I rush to add, “But you guys are welcome to stay as long as you need until you feel safe going home.”
Her gorgeous sea-colored eyes lift back up to mine. “You’re already helping so much, and you don’t need us taking up your space more than necessary.”
“Don’t worry about it. I like having you guys here.” I’d have them move in with me if I thought she’d agree. She doesn’t look convinced, but there’s no way I’ll allow her to deal with this on her own. I know she’s fully capable, but she’s been doing it for too long already and it’s time she has someone she can lean on for support. And I plan on being that someone. “You wanna relax in the living room?”
“Sure.” She climbs from the stool, collects her glass, and leads the way to the living room. My eyes drop to the small sliver of exposed thigh, and I readjust my sweats, hoping she doesn’t notice what’s happening below the elastic band.
I grab the bottle of wine and follow behind. When I walk into the living room, she’s standing near the shelf looking at the photos of my friends and family. She picks one up and spins to face me, her perfectly shaped eyebrows halfway up her forehead.
I know exactly which photo she has as I place the bottle and my glass on the coffee table, then make my way toward her. She holds it up. Our gazes lock and hold and all the questions that want to tumble past her lips are plain to see.
“You’re married?” Her voice carries a little hurt.
I step closer, ensuring I hold her gaze. “Yes and no. Technically widowed.”
Her mouth drops open, and sadness fills her eyes. “This is Tahlia? You never said anything.”
“It’s a different situation from yours.” Looking at the photo, I trace my eyes over the young woman, dressed in white, standing by my side. “Tahlia had one dream in life. She wanted to be a bride. Even though she was a tomboy at heart, she wanted to wear white and walk down an aisle covered in pink rose petals. She wanted to carry a bouquet of pink roses and wear a veil.”
Hope’s hand flies up to her mouth and her eyes grow glassy.
“When she received the diagnosis that she didn’t have long to live, I talked to her mom about Tahlia’s dream. I loved her enough as a friend that I wanted to make it come true for her. One last wish before she left this earth.”
“Oh, Ben.” Hope’s voice drips with pain—two syllables, but so much feeling.
I draw in a breath, remembering how happy Tahlia was when I asked her to marry me. “She was so excited. She and her mom organized the entire wedding in two weeks. We exchanged vows by the largest lake in Piney Lakes, beneath an arbor of pink roses on the first day of September.” I lift my eyes to Hope’s. “We didn’t live together or anything like that, because it was never like that between us, but I was more than happy to make her dream a reality. Two weeks later, she was gone.”
I swallow around the thickness that always forms in my throat whenever I think of Tahlia. Taken from us too soon. Her shining light extinguished before we were ready. It wasn’t fair to her or her mom—or us. Hope places the photo on the shelf and wraps her arms around me, pressing herself against the length of my body.
“You’re such a good man, Benjamin Taylor.” She looks up at me. “Tahlia was lucky to have a best friend like you.”
I smile down at her. “I was the lucky one. She taught me how to have fun and make the most of each day. It’s almost like she knew she wouldn’t be here for a long time.” I kiss her forehead, soaking in her softness and the scent of vanilla in her hair. “Your hair always smells so damn delicious,” I groan.
She chuckles, her body shaking against mine. “Thanks.”
“This house belonged to Tahlia’s family. They’d come here every summer vacation. Sebastian and I even came along a few times. When Tahlia’s mom passed away five years ago, she left it to me, which was completely unexpected. That’s when I decided to leave Piney Lakes and follow my dream of working as a K9 handler here.”
“Oh, Ben. So much loss in one family.” The entire Gilbert family is gone.
I nod my agreement and she squeezes me tight, then I kiss her temple and reluctantly pull away from her embrace, grabbing the bottle of wine to top off our glasses.
After the way things quickly escalated when I fell asleep on the couch with her, I need to be mindful about keeping space between us—especially with Evan in the house. I don’t want her to think I’ve offered them a place to stay to get her into my bed. She needs to take the lead and guide the pace between us. I’ll never forgive myself if we were to move faster than she’s ready for. I’d rather wait a thousand years to touch her than push things too quickly and break her. I’m gonna end up with the bluest balls of all time, but it’s a small price to pay.
When it’s time for bed, we say goodnight in the hallway and go to our separate rooms. I tell myself it won’t be like this forever.
Lying in bed with my hands behind my head, I stare at the ceiling as the shadows from the tree outside move across the ceiling in the wind. I picture her in the bed next door, my T-shirt pushed up over her breasts, leaving them exposed to my tongue as I tease her nipples into hard points. I’d spread her legs wide so her glistening pussy was on display for my perusal. Her lower half bare except for those sexy ass socks she wears. I’d slide my hands up her toned thighs, appreciating their silkiness beneath my rough hands.
My cock hardens, and the temptation to take it in hand and stroke it is almost too much, but I don’t want to disrespect Hope like that. She deserves more than lust. She deserves to be cherished and adored. She deserves to be treated like a queen. But I can’t switch my mind off that easily. I imagine the heat in her eyes as I lightly swipe my tongue along her pussy, teasing her clit with small, tight circles.
An unfamiliar sound breaks the silence, and I strain to listen. Everything’s quiet until a few moments later, it happens again. This time it sounds distinctly like a low moan followed by what sounds like a sob coming from Hope’s room. I sit up, straining to listen. It happens again, and before I know it, my feet hit the floor and I’m walking toward my bedroom door. Ripping it open, I stride to her door, then press my forehead against the wood.
Dammit, she’s upset. I’m not surprised after the way her day ended. What should I do? I want to go in and hold her. Tell her everything will be okay. But I don’t want to invade her privacy either.
I fall forward slightly before I realize the door’s no longer there. I don’t recall touching the doorknob, but maybe my subconscious took over since I couldn’t decide.
“Oh.” Hope’s startled expression and flushed cheeks has me straightening in place.
“Sorry, I heard you moan and sob, and I was worried. I was coming to ask if you were okay,” I explain quickly so she doesn’t think I’m some kind of creeper hanging outside her bedroom door. Though I wouldn’t blame her if that’s the impression she has.
I watch her throat move as she swallows, her eyes blown wide and cheeks flushed a gorgeous hue of pink. “Y-you heard that?”
“Uh, yeah.” I toss my thumb over my shoulder. “Our beds butt up against the same wall.”
She covers her face with both hands. “Oh, my god. I’m so embarrassed.”
I drag her hands away from her face and bring them to my mouth to kiss each one. I can’t miss the feminine scent lingering on her fingers, and my eyes snap back up to Hope’s. If I thought she looked flushed before, she’s even more so now. She tries to tug them out of my hold, but I grip onto them, not letting go. I bring them to my nose and draw in a deep breath. “Beautiful.” I kiss each finger, never taking my eyes from hers. Her pupils grow, almost overtaking the aquamarine I love so much.
“Ben,” she whispers on a shaky breath.
“Yeah, Cookie?”
“What’s happening?” Her question is barely a murmur.
“I’m kissing you.” I promised myself I wouldn’t push her, but she makes it damn hard to keep myself in check. Clearly, I have no self-control where she’s concerned. Her shoulders drop, the tension falls away, and I watch her soften as I flip her hand over and kiss her palm. I take my time, slowly stroking my tongue along each finger, tasting the remnants of her self-induced orgasm. “Tell me what you were doing,” I murmur, my voice a pained whisper. My dick as hard as a rock.
“Uhm …” Her wide eyes are almost comical—it’s a guilty expression I’m used to seeing in my job. Her chest rises and falls quickly, giving away how turned on she is.
A hard nudge at my thigh breaks my focus and when I look down, Rex is looking up at me. He whines and wags his tail, then takes off for the stairs. I know what that means, and disappointment swiftly floods my body.
Cock blocked by my best friend.
I sigh. “Sorry, I need to take him out,” I say to Hope, regret dripping from every single word.
Her smile is timid. “That’s okay. It’s probably for the best. I’ll see you in the morning.” She takes a step backward into her room.
“Sleep well, Hope,” I whisper, pressing a soft kiss against the top of her head and drawing her delicious scent deep into my lungs to tide me over.
I take the steps two at a time and push the folding patio doors open. Rex bolts outside, and I follow. The cool air is a sharp contrast to the heat boiling beneath my skin—it’s just what I need.
Rex comes back and sniffs at me, barking sharply, and I rub his scruff.
“Yeah, thanks, buddy.” Waves crash in the distance, and I glance out at my dark backyard, then back to Rex. “It was probably for the best. She’s only been here a few hours, and I’m already breaking my promise to myself.” I rub between his ears. “Good save, buddy.”
He licks my face and races back out into the darkness.