Chapter 49
49
HOPE
My thoughts are erratic as I clear the table and drag on the rubber gloves Ben keeps here for me to wash the dishes. I never imagined his parents would be so cold and rude when he’s so warm. When the kitchen is clean, I wander toward the front window and watch him with them.
They’re obviously unhappy he’s not doing what they want, and I wonder if he normally complies but is choosing not to because of Evan and me. I’d hate for our presence to put a wedge between him and his parents. I know how important it is to have family around. Without the support of my family—and Wyatt’s—Evan and I wouldn’t have survived the last six years. Hell, even before that, they supported us whenever Wyatt was deployed. Which was often.
The slamming of car doors breaks me from my thoughts, and I focus back on what’s happening outside. With his hands on his hips, Ben stands frozen in place as he watches his parents’ SUV disappear down the street. He brings his hands to the back of his head, linking his fingers together as he paces in a circle. His pain and disappointment surround him like an aura, and I can’t watch him deal with his obvious hurt alone, so I push open the screen door and make my way toward him.
Sliding my hands up over his tense shoulders, I place a kiss to the space between his shoulder blades and feel his muscles relax a little. Slowly, I slide my hands down his strong back, trace his flanks, then wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek and the front of my body to him.
He entangles our fingers together and blows out a long breath, releasing more tension. “I’m sorry.”
I kiss his muscular back again. “Why are you apologizing to me?”
Turning in my embrace, he gently pushes my hair over my shoulders as his eyes trace every inch of my face. “Because you didn’t deserve to have to experience my parents’ toxicity.” He drops his forehead to mine and squeezes his eyes closed. “I’m embarrassed and ashamed.”
I hold him tighter, giving him as much of my support as I can. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. You are not your parents, Ben. In fact, you’re the exact opposite, which makes me love you that much more. The work you’ve had to do to not be like them must have been astounding. I can’t believe you’re related to those people.”
He opens his eyes, revealing the gorgeous gray irises that are normally playful, but are now filled with uncertainty. “You love me?”
I stop breathing for a moment and run back over what I said, realizing the words I spoke. I ruminate over them for a moment, then nod my head when I conclude I meant them down to the depths of my soul. Mist forms with my hot breath in the cold air as I release the air trapped in my lungs. “Yeah, I love you,” I declare with a grin.
A gorgeous, all-encompassing smile overtakes his face, and he suddenly lifts me from my feet, making me squeal in surprise. He chuckles as he spins me around, then tugs me in tight. I wrap my legs around his waist and he looks up at me. “You know I’ve loved you and Evan for a couple of months, right?”
The muscle in my chest expands, pumping hard and filling up all the available space. I didn’t need him to tell me.
I knew .
How could I not?
Nodding, I murmur, “I knew.”
I watch his lips move closer to mine. “Good,” he whispers, his hot breath hitting my skin before his mouth crashes onto mine.
Tightening my hold around his neck, I open eagerly to welcome his kiss. After all, it’s his kisses that brought me back to life. It was his patience and compassion that brought me back into the light after more than six years in the darkness.
I’m glad he wants Evan and me forever, because I never want to leave the sanctuary of his embrace. And I hope, with this kiss, he realizes I love him for the man he is … the man he worked so hard to become.
When the need for oxygen becomes too much, we pull away, but Ben drags his lips down the side of my neck, kissing his way to my pulse, his bristles leaving a raspy trail on my sensitive flesh. I grind down on him, and his groan vibrates deliciously against my throat.
As he turns and takes the first step toward his home, excitement bubbles inside me at the prospect of what will happen once we’re inside. We unexpectedly have the evening to ourselves, and I can’t wait to get started.
His hands grip my ass while I kiss across his jaw to his ear. “I need you inside me. My panties are so wet.”
He groans and hurries his steps, slamming the screen door followed by the front door. “Fuck, Hope. I need to be inside you like I need my next breath. Probably more,” he pants against my throat.
Pressing my back against the closed front door, our teeth clash as he kisses me savagely. Our heavy breaths mingle and my breasts ache to be free of constraint so I can feel his warm hands on them.
My thoughts and responses solely narrow to Ben and what he’s doing to me … to my body. I scramble to drag his T-shirt up his body, and when he realizes what I’m trying to do, he reaches behind his neck, pulls it clear over his head, and tosses it to the floor.
Immediately, I glide my hands over the smooth expanse of his back, feeling every shift of his firm muscles as he effortlessly holds me in place. The thick ridge behind his zipper feels amazing against my throbbing clit, but I need him inside me as well as all around me.
I need him under me, over me … I need him everywhere .
We’ve rarely had moments alone like this—moments we can be with each other without the worry of being caught, and I want to take advantage of every second.
Our kisses turn frantic, the energy between us blazing like an inferno. Ben presses me further into the door, and then his hands trace over my heated flesh beneath my sweater, sending wildfire blazing over my body.
His touch is everything I need.
His kiss is everything I desire.
His love is everything I want.
Never did I imagine I’d be capable of feeling this after the emotional destruction left behind when I lost Wyatt. I realize I’m truly blessed. Not only have I had the soul-deep love of one good man, but now I’m lucky enough to have it for a second time—something I know some people never experience.
I pour my heart and soul into our kiss as I grind down on Ben’s steely length.
He peels me away from the door and walks down the hallway without missing a beat. His lips never leave mine, and his kiss never falters.
My ass connects with the kitchen counter, and Ben’s hands drop to my pants to tear them away from my body. With deft fingers he has the button and zipper undone and peels them down my legs, removing them completely, along with my shoes and socks. I raise my hips to help him along, then dig my fingers into the sides of my panties to get rid of them, too.
I return the favor and push his jeans and boxers down his thick thighs, using my feet to push them further down his legs. He dips and removes them completely, standing proudly in front of me, stark naked.
My eyes devour his sculpted body with appreciation for the fine specimen of a man he is. I follow the dark happy trail from his navel to his thick cock—glistening at the tip—pointing directly at me, and I squeeze my bare thighs together, smearing the wetness between them.
Ben’s heated gaze drops to watch, and he smirks cockily. “Who’s a needy girl?”
Me.
I cross my arms to grip the bottom of my sweater and drag it over my body, sending my hair cascading down my back. Ben’s hands instantly slide around my body to release the clasp of my bra, and I breathe a sigh of relief when my breasts drop free. “Me,” I whisper.
His mouth crashes onto mine, and my hands find the short strands of his hair to hold him in place. Our tongues perform their now-familiar dance, ratcheting up our desire and my need for more. Edging to the lip of the counter, my heated center connects with Ben’s erection and my wetness coats his rigid length. We both groan at the contact.
It feels like forever since we’ve been together like this. Without breaking our kiss, his hand slides up my body, molding to my breast before wrapping around the front of my throat—something I’ve noticed he likes to do.
He says he likes to feel my pulse jump beneath his grip.
I like the way his grip grounds me.
It feels a little dangerous … and a lot possessive.
The hair on his thighs brush against the inside of mine, and the crown of his dick nudges my opening, so I widen my legs to give him more room and drop my hands to his tight ass to pull him into me. My mouth drops open at the exquisite slide of his thickness entering me and I hook my legs up higher so he can bury himself deep.
His kisses steal my breath and every thought in my head. He slides in and out slowly several times, and I revel in the feel of him inside of me … the exquisite feel of connecting on such a primitive level.
“Oh, shit. You feel so damn good, Hope,” he tells me, his hot breath ghosting across my cheek.
“Same,” I grunt when his hips snap forward again. I love how we fit together so perfectly.
He lifts me from the counter and delicately lowers me to the kitchen floor. Keeping his heated gaze locked with mine, he folds me in half like a pretzel with my legs resting over his shoulders, and relentlessly pounds into me like his life depends on it.
Grunts and whimpers leave my lips on hot gusts of air, and I shift my hips as much as I can to meet him thrust for thrust. My heart thumps like it’s going to burst right through my ribs as my blood rushes through my body like a tornado. I dig my fingernails into his shoulders for purchase, somewhat cognizant that I’m probably scratching him to pieces.
Our gazes meet and lock, and the heat burning in Ben’s half-lidded eyes sends sparks shooting through every cell in my body. His muscles are tight with exertion, and the vein on the side of his neck pulses in stark contrast. Sweat dots his forehead as his eyes beg me to fall apart.