Shelby #2
I could hear the concern in his voice but I didn’t have time for this conversation.
I needed to get out of here. Get to the airport and get on a flight.
Blake was in hospital and about to have surgery!
For what, I didn’t even know. He wouldn’t be able to manage this alone.
He didn’t even know his internet banking password for goodness’ sake, so I was certain he wouldn’t know his insurer let alone how to navigate whatever that shit fight entailed.
And I couldn’t even consider the issues with his medical history.
What if they accidentally gave him penicillin?
He could die.
The thought alone caused me to falter and I reached for the bed to steady myself. Why did I think travelling across the world was a good idea? He was all I had left. I needed to be close to that accident prone mess of a human.
“Talk to me.” The measured tone of his voice was closer this time, his hand reaching for my shoulder.
I wanted to push him away so I could get the heck out of here, but as always, his touch calmed me in an instant.
The warmth of his body close to mine, a heated blanket wrapping around me soothingly.
I didn’t have the words to begin to summarise my brother’s current predicament so instead, I opened my phone and showed him the messages.
“He doesn’t even know his blood type. I need to fly home.” I sounded defeated even to my own ears. There was nothing I wanted less than to return to Canada when things felt unfinished here but I would always prioritise Blake. He didn’t have anyone else.
“Hey,” Corbin grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face him.
He was all bare chest, tousled hair from sleep and illuminated only by the small lamp next to my bed.
I wanted to fold myself into his embrace and bury my face in the crook of his neck.
Breathe in the woodsy scent I knew would be lingering on his unshaved jaw line.
But my wants didn’t matter. My family needed me and with that thought, I gently stepped around him and headed into the washroom.
“I’m sorry. I just need a quick shower and to get to the airport.” I was resigned. I knew that whatever this was, it was done and what either of us wanted was irrelevant. I promised myself I would always be Blake’s person and that meant getting there now.
When I came back out less than ten minutes later, Corbin was dressed and sitting on the bed, his suitcase packed. He walked straight over, pulling me into him and I instantly went slack, almost as if my body became disconnected from the chaos it was about to sort for the briefest moment.
“It’s four in the morning. Pack your things and I will look up flights. I know you don’t believe me, but an organised plan will help.” He stated.
My gut said to manage things myself. To get a cab and book a flight on the way to the airport - wherever the hell that was from here. God, I didn’t even know where I was.
But the long strokes of his reassurance on my back, the tender way he swiped his hands across my hair and the feel of his gentle kiss on my forehead were an instant extinguisher to my growing irrationality.
“Okay,” I agreed. “I just need a flight. And then I’ll work out the rest after. His messages didn’t make much sense. I’ll be able to-”
“Shelby,” he pressed his finger to my lips, silencing me. “It’s okay. Can you just give me ten minutes? Whatever I can’t organise in that time, I promise to leave with you.” He was so earnest, so kind, so damn thoughtful that I simply nodded.
It had been so long since I’d had someone to take care of me.
Someone beside me when something went askew, so it felt foreign to allow him to take the reins.
I was the one who held everything together.
When Dad passed, I took care of Blake so Mum could grieve.
When Mum was diagnosed, I quit my job and created a business where I could work from home so I could become her full-time carer.
I shielded my brother from whatever I could because it was less he would carry once she was gone.
And now, he was my responsibility. The chaotic mess himself would be acting aloof and carefree, but I knew him and he would be counting on me to figure things out, because that was what I always did. It was my role.
But now I was having to put my trust in someone else to organise things when it had been me doing it for so long. My instincts screamed to push away and take control, but if I was going to trust anyone, it was him.
Listening to the reassuring beats of his heart, I thought about the mixture of colours I was currently feeling. While I didn’t have time to consider how heartbroken I was going to be when we said goodbye, I could lean on him while he was still here.
“Okay,” I mumbled, nodding against the warmth of his chest. A warmth I wasn’t going to have for much longer. Because as soon as I got on that flight, I was leaving him again. Only this time, it was going to be with a broken heart.
We’d barely spoken on the drive to the airport although I’d been touching him in some fashion the entire way.
My feet in his lap while I tried to sleep, his hand holding mine over the console or my fingers tracing patterns against his arm – more to soothe my racing mind than anything else.
Blake’s phone was still off and I still wasn’t by his side.
I did my best to ignore the impending goodbye, already feeling a dull ache of sadness beginning in my chest. Corbin didn’t mention it either although his brow was drawn down, a scowl I hadn’t seen since the very first day marring his features.
His fingers tapped mercilessly against the steering wheel and his leg jiggled, both signs of agitation and I really hoped it wasn’t because I’d ruined our trip so suddenly.
It felt dirty in all the wrong ways to leave the day after we shared an incredible night together. A night which I knew would never be replicated no matter how long I lived or how hard I tried.
There was no one else who could elicit such soul-deep pleasure within me because there was only one Corbin.
And of course, as the cards life always seemed to deal me, he lived on the other side of the world and had a strong career and life here.
And my future had to focus on ensuring my brother was okay, which meant being near him in case he needed something.
Like now. I was his pseudo parent and I’d told Mum in the last few days of her life, that I would always make sure we stayed close.
An inseparable duo with me in the driver's seat.
I would do what I’d always done. I would get on with things. I would sort Blake’s mess out, get him back on his feet and then I would focus on whatever scraps that left me with. All things I would worry about once I was back in Canada. Alone.
When we finally made it to the airport, I halted Corbin with a hand to his forearm before he too tried to exit the car. I couldn’t do the airport farewell. It would break me and the last thing I wanted was to sob my way through customs and onto my flight.
“Corb-” My voice broke and the tears I was so desperate to hide, pressed forth like little wet traitors.
I spoke through my sobs, leaving him with what was probably the most hideous version of myself I could have ever given him, doing my best to express my feelings with no time or processing skills.
“I-I can’t say goodbye in there. I can’t say goodbye to you at all.
” Taking a deep breath, I traced his jawline with my fingers before cupping his face.
“So, I’m going to kiss you and hug you and breathe you in.
Then I am going to tell you that I love you and I’m so grateful you were with me over the past two months.
That I never could have found the strength to do any of it without you.
That I wouldn’t have wanted to. That you have always been and will always be every colour of the crayon pack - except Beaver - because who would ever call a crayon that,” I sniffed and he gave me the warm smile I was going to miss so much which only made a fresh wave of tears escape.
This was brutal. A heartache I never saw coming.
Using the pads of his thumbs, he brushed my sadness from my face and pulled me into him.
“Canada,” he kissed my lips quickly. “That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” his sincerity only made me cry harder. Leaving sucked and his gorgeous face was only making it more difficult.
“But I’m coming with you.” He added and the air left my lungs in one quick gasp.
“Wha-” I couldn’t even finish what I was saying, clearly having misheard. There was no way my terrified of flying, need to have everything planned, workaholic friend was spontaneously getting on an aircraft to fly sixteen hours across the world to deal with what was likely a heap of crap.
“If that’s okay?” He asked and my mind finally caught up with what he said. What he was asking.
“But you don’t have a flight?” My challenge was weak even to my own ears.
He’d booked the damn flights, refusing to even discuss how much they cost but I didn’t have the heart to argue.
It was difficult enough relinquishing control as it was, if I opened that can, worms were going to fly everywhere.
“Come on,” he opened the door of the truck before retrieving our suitcases from the back. He was standing, waiting patiently and looking gorgeous while I still tried to reconcile what was happening.
“But you’re terrified of flying,” I reminded him, clearly still confused and running on two hours of sleep .
He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving mine.
“I think I’m more terrified of letting you go,” he said with a shrug and I felt my eyes widen.
This man with his big green eyes and need to plan his life down to a tee.
With his permanent scowl and thoughtful, kind heart, was going to get on a plane and come to Canada because he didn’t want to leave me.
I wanted to ask what this meant for us. For now, and for next week, month, year. But I didn’t dare, instead, I threw myself at him, my ugly crying louder as I sobbed my gratitude and relief into his neck.
He was coming with me.
In the spur of the moment, he’d decided to fly halfway across the world, spontaneously, with no set plans or agenda. Everything he hated and with nothing to gain for himself.
Corbin was coming to Canada. On a plane. Which terrified him .
He was confronting his biggest fear, by my side, and for my sake. And that kind of truth hit hard, the kind I was nowhere near ready to process in the chaos of an airport carpark before a painfully long flight.
“I wish we had some of Kenn’s pancakes now,” he mumbled into my hair, eliciting a sudden laugh from me.
“Me too,” I sniffed, tapping his cheek. “Me too.”