6. The Chair #3
"A soul match is someone whose biological signature is compatible with your own.
But it is at a level so deep that when you meet them, your body knows before your brain can even register there's another person in the room.
" Reyna's eyes went wide at this information.
She wondered what that would be like, being so sure of something so important because of a biological reaction you can't control.
That either sounded like the best way to ensure you found true love, or the worst kind of prison.
Reyna wasn't sure which one sounded more correct.
"It's not attraction, but I mean, that's obviously part of it.
It's not love at first sight either, though, because it's a form of love so pure and so absolute there is no argument.
The soul match is just the act of recognition itself.
Your body knows what to do with the recognition and almost... runs away with it."
Jere turned away from her then, putting his hands up on the counter and staring at them. Reyna could almost see him thinking through his next words.
"Your biological cells recognize theirs, your nervous system locks on, and once it activates, there's no stopping it, or reversing it, or avoiding it.
It's not a choice, not in the least. And it's definitely not a feeling you can just manage or reason your way out of.
" He looked back up at Reyna. "It's as involuntary as your heart beating. "
Reyna looked him over. "You didn't say what happens if you resist it."
"You can't. I mean, not really. Trust me, there have been Qorrathi who've tried to, but they've gone on to describe it as pain.
Actual, physical pain, where your body rejects the distance between you and that person like poison or venom.
Sure, you can endure it, technically. But eventually, biology wins.
" He paused again, returning his gaze to his hands "It always wins. "
Reyna went quiet. She watched him, watched as his gaze didn't return to hers, watched as he kept staring at his hands, watched as his face remained rigid, as if trying to cover his emotions. She turned away from him then, swinging her legs back under the counter, and turned her drink in her hands.
"You thought it might be me," she said quietly.
She could feel Jere look over at her. She turned to look at him, his expression the one she had seen exactly once before, the night in the Novahall corridor when she sat with him while he grieved creatures small enough to fit in his hand. This was Jere at his most honest at the most basic level.
"I did," he said. "For a while, actually.
Quite a long while, if I'm being honest. You and Elena became the closest people to me, in my whole life, even beyond my family.
And you know I love my family." He smiled then, and she returned it as she studied him as he spoke.
"But there has always been something about you, Rey.
You've always been the one I'd go to first, the one I'd miss most when we're apart.
" He paused, turning to fully face her again, so she matched him in her chair.
"I honestly just kept waiting for the activation, Rey.
I felt like I was living in a weird form of limbo, just waiting and checking, every time we were brought together again.
When I first came onto the Emberkind, after every mission to Earth.
" Then he looked right at her." I was almost counting on it, Rey.
I think, some part of me wanted it to be you. Because you mean the world to me."
This was the first time Jere had been so honest about how he felt about Reyna, but she believed him, without any doubt. And the truth was, he meant the same to her. She'd never said it to him, and she regretted that now.
"The mean the world to me, too, Jere," she said, grabbing his hand. He still looked at her, gentle and warm and loving, but almost pained in a way, too. And Reyna knew what it meant.
"But..." she led, with a smile. He dropped his gaze from hers and smiled, his true, big, Jere grin that she knew and loved.
"But..." he started. "The signal never came," he said with a shrug of his shoulders.
"And I realized it's always been because, well Reyna, I hate to say it but, you're just not my match.
" Reyna actually giggled at his mock seriousness, almost as though he was delivering a breakup speech.
But the humor lining his words made it impossible to take seriously.
"Oh no!" Reyna shrieked, her other hand flying to her forehead in a move of drama for the masses. "How will I ever live with myself, Jerel?!"
At this, Jere let out a hefty belly laugh, and Reyna joined in. But as it died down, Jere got serious again. This time, it was a quiet, filled with love.
"You're not my match, Rey, because you're my sister.
My heart, my blood, my family. And those are very different things.
Both good, amazing in their own right, and purposeful in life in all the ways relationships like those can be.
But still different. And it just took me a while to understand that the difference wasn't a lack of you being important in my life. It was the answer."
Reyna felt tears prick at her eyes. She never cried, ever. But, she had to reason, she'd never known she had a brother, either. "That may be the most wonderful thing you've ever said to me."
He gripped her fingers in his hand. "Well, good. Because it's true. And I've made my peace with it because it still puts you in a very important spot in my life. One that is still reserved for you and no one else. Soul match or not, you are part of me. My past, my present, and my future."
Reyna nodded at him then, one tear spilling onto her cheek. He took his other hand and caught the tear with his finger.
"What we are is exactly right. My whole body agrees with it - mind, body, and soul, in fact. There's no pull or ache or signal I'm ignoring. Just you, my best friend."
Reyna looked at him for only a beat before she stood up off her chair and threw her arms around him, leaning her head on his shoulder as his arms encircled her.
She let a tear fall, but that was the one and only that got away.
She was still herself, but now, she felt the love in ways she never knew could be possible.
Looked at Jere. Looked at the kitchen, warm and low-lit, with Borran's steady presence at the counter.
As she pulled away from him, she smiled and his watery grin shone on his face for her.
This was it, this was the question that had lived quietly between them for years, never having been spoken, but also never urgent, and now it had been answered.
And it turned out that the answer, for both of them, was that they were their own chosen family. The kind you build a life beside.
"But Reyna, I need you to know something," Jere said, his voice shifting back to the seriousness of the real conversation. "If it ever happens, if I find my actual match and it activates, whenever or wherever it activates, I have to go for it. I won't not be able to. You know that, right?"
And Reyna did know. Even though she'd just learned about it, she knew from Jere's description that the activation was biological, instant, and permanent. When it came, the pull was not something you could order around.
"I know," Reyna said.
"You promise you won't be angry?"
"Oh, Jere, I'll be furious," she said, knocking her shoulder into him. "But, I'll let you go."
"Rey—"
"That's how it works," Reyna interrupted. She couldn't listen to him try to reason with her about being upset about him leaving, especially after the conversation they'd just had. "You just don't argue with biology. Hell, you can't argue with it, really."
She picked up her drink and took a sip. But she couldn't really taste it.
Instead, her mind was fully occupied with the possibility of a future where this ridiculous, loud, irreplaceable person walked away from her and Elena and the Emberkind because his body told him he had to.
She'd have to stand on this ship and let the corridors fill with the silence of his absence.
She would do it, because it was what he needed, and she loved him more than enough to never be in the way of his happiness.
But if anything, all she could hope for was that it would happen for him somewhere she'd be able to keep him in her life.
"I mean, who knows how long it will take anyway? Like anyone would want to be your soul match. Your volume alone would be grounds for annulment."
And then he laughed again, his big, boisterous laugh, causing her to giggle next to him.
"You know I love you, right?" Jere asked as his laughter died down. Reyna looked up at him, and his expression alone would make her believe anything he asked of her.
She nodded slowly, dropping her gaze to her feet. "I do."
He put his forefinger under her chin, making her look up at him again. "Do you know how much?"
Reyna laughed softly. "Oh, I don't know," she said, teasing. "Bigger than the universe?"
His finger dropped from her chin, and his smile spread out so wide that Reyna began to worry he may actually pull something.
"That's it exactly!" He exclaimed, his excitement palpable. "Rey, that's genius!"
"I don't know about genius but—"
"No," Jere interrupted. "It is. It's genius and perfect and nothing would be better." He pulled her to him again, gripping her in another bone-crushing hug, but Reyna let him. "I love you. Bigger than the universe."
Reyna melted against him again, against this person who could have been her soul match, and was, in almost every way that couldn't matter. But that was okay. Because she had this. And this would last, no matter where in the universe they were.
"Bigger than the universe," she whispered against him.
At the counter, Borran continued working his dough and said nothing, which was Borran's way of saying everything.
"Bigger than the universe, Rey."