Chapter 7 Handled
Handled
No amount of make-up could hide the haunting in my eyes.
If Hunter had still been alive, he would have mocked Paul until I peed. He would have raked him over the coals so hard I’d never be able to think of him again without laughing.
But Hunter left us and took his loveable brand of lunacy with him.
I studied my reflection in the mirror and added a touch more concealer under my eyes then snapped my compact closed. It would have to do.
God, I hoped Max and especially Daire, didn’t know about Paul’s engagement.
Noelle threw open the door to her and Hawkley’s luxury log cabin and immediately drew me into a hug.
I leaned in for a moment then pushed her away abruptly. I did not cry in front of anyone.
She threw her arm around my shoulders. “Come on, Shrimpy. Your nephew is being passed around like a semi-deflated pigskin.”
I laughed as expected. “I’m on it.” I quickly washed my hands at the kitchen sink, scrubbing as if readying for surgery, and left Noelle to put the finishing touches on her dessert.
Baby Hunter was the lucky, or not so lucky depending on how you looked at it, recipient of all the love I could no longer give to my brother.
Walking into the family room, I dismissed everyone once I clocked Hunter nestled in Hawk’s arms. Which was great because it meant my chances of stealing him were high. If Max or Daire were taking a turn I’d have had to wait.
Or so they kept telling me.
“Hello love of my life,” I called out, my arms out with grabby fingers for my sweet nephew.
Hawk smiled and transferred him into my arms. Hawk smiled much more often now. My heart panged.
At least I had one of my brothers back.
“Come to Auntie Harley, baby boy,” I murmured, nestling him close and heading for the corner of the couch I always claimed at Hawk and Noelle’s.
That seat provided a stellar view. One entire wall of Hawk’s house was glass. Backing onto his heavily forested backyard, there was little fear of anyone seeing in unless you harbored an unnatural shyness around squirrels and bunnies.
And I didn’t.
I nestled my back into the corner. Hunter slept peacefully in my arms, his body a perfect weight against my breast.
With the tip of my finger, I traced the curve of his rosy cheek. He really was beautiful. And why wouldn’t he be? Both Hawkley and Noelle were gorgeous people.
Hunter was also a beautiful man.
I wasn’t bad looking, I knew that objectively, but I didn’t meet the bar set by either of my brothers.
Or my best friend.
Or Max.
God, Max was a hot piece of man meat.
But I’d probably choke on him.
Oh, that visual was not a good one.
Choke from laughing.
Or I’d kill him.
It wasn’t worth the risk.
“You’re beautiful with him.”
My head shot up. Max and Hawk were deeply engrossed in a conversation about the upcoming football season.
Daire sat on the other side of my couch with his ankle crossed over his knee, one hand dangling off the arm, a beer hooked between his long fingers.
Did he say I looked beautiful with him? What did that even mean?
“Uh…” I must have misheard him. I gave my head a small shake. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
His mouth flattened and he tilted his head to the side. “I said, you’re beautiful with him.”
I smiled. “Anyone is beautiful with him. It’s not hard.”
“Well,” he amended quietly. “You’re particularly beautiful with him.”
My smile faded as I stared at him with wide eyes.
Did he feel sorry for me?
“It’s customary when someone pays you a compliment to say thank you.”
Before I could respond, he continued, “It’s easy to see you’ll be a wonderful mother one day.”
My laugh held a hint of bitterness. “I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”
He looked down at his beer then took a swig. “On the contrary, you’re closer than you’ve ever been since losing that deadweight.”
I took a deep breath and met his eyes. “She told you.”
He looked up at the ceiling and then nodded. “She did, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”
“Yes, well, I think I’ve given up on men. I’ll just focus on my work.”
“We’re useful for some things,” he teased, a smile playing on his lips.
I smiled back evilly. “I’ve got a fantastic toy collection. And all of them have backup batteries. I’m good.”
His eyes danced with mischief. “I’m sure some men might be intimidated by that.” He paused and appraised me in a way that made me want to suck in my stomach. “I’m not one of them.”
“What are you two talking about?” Hawk asked suspiciously.
Daire swallowed another swig of beer without taking his eyes off me. “What a good mother Harley will be one day and the importance of toys.”
“Toys?” Hawk’s eyebrows rose.
Daire winked at me then turned to Max and Hawkley. “Yeah, toys. Some parents are over the top. I see it in my work all the time. The children who are given everything don’t like to share, tap into their imagination less, and have more difficulty filling their free time.”
I tuned them out and focused on calming the racehorse taking my heart for a ride.
What the hell was that? Was he flirting with me?
Realization dawned. He was trying to make me feel better. My shoulders relaxed. That was sweet.
If I was a different kind of woman, it would have been misleading. He was the Pied Piper of single women.
Noelle came in and cuddled into Hawk’s lap.
He wasn’t like that with his first wife. Based on the way he reacted, putting his arm around Noelle, and cuddling her close without missing a beat in the conversation, this was normal for them.
Their story was difficult and littered with debris from both of their hearts. Thank God they found their way home to each other. I couldn’t imagine either of them with anybody else.
I wanted a great love story like theirs.
Well, I’d take a hard pass on the angst, pain, and lost years, but I wanted something just as vivid and powerful. Deep. Rich. So full of light you could bask in it.
I sighed. All too aware of Daire sitting one seat away, his long body angled toward mine, I concentrated on keeping my eyes to myself.
Hunter woke and peered up at me, his little mouth a perfect ‘o’.
I gave him my baby finger, and he squeezed it tight. “It’s just you and me, bud.”
Noelle’s psychotic cat, Bruce, prowled across the floor, his one eye regarding us with disdain.
I laughed to myself as Hawkley tracked his progress out of the corner of his eye. Glancing at Daire, because a girl could only hold off for so long, I caught him watching me with an amused smile on his face.
I grinned at him, and he laughed.
Bruce changed course away from Hawk and leapt up beside Daire instead.
Daire reached out and stroked the scraggly fur on Bruce’s back. “Handling this cat is like handling a skittish woman.”
My eyebrows rose. “How so?”
“He can only take so much loving before he snaps—ow!” Bruce dug his nails into Daire’s thigh and took off across the wood floors, his back legs sliding over the polished surface. “See!” he exclaimed. “He’s fiery.”
“He’s not fiery,” I defended him. “He’s just used to being let down.”
Daire’s eyes widened on my face making me realize I revealed too much. “What does he need to trust again?”
We were no longer talking about Bruce, but I’d be damned if I let on. Because I knew the answer, and it desperately wanted to be spoken. I shrugged. “He loves Noelle. All she did was stick with him. It shouldn’t be that hard.”
“And yet?”
I shook my head, unprepared to delve any deeper into that bruised organ that thudded erratically in my chest.
“A cat like that deserves someone who sticks,” he murmured softly. “He’s got so much to offer. And underneath that spiky attitude lies a heart of gold.”
I looked at him sharply.
“And a beautiful face,” he added. “Though you covered your sweet freckles today.”
Heat bloomed in my cheeks as I stared back at him. Twice he’d used the word beautiful to describe me.
Somehow that warmed my heart and terrified me at the same time.
Because a girl like me could fall hard for a man like him.
And a man like him wasn’t for a girl like me.
Not in the way I would want him to be.
“Say thank you,” he whispered teasingly.
I swallowed, my defenses stripped away by the arrow he so perfectly aimed through the gap in my armor.
“Thank you.”
He winked. “Good girl.”
I snorted and barked out a laugh. “Good girl?”
“Well, aren’t you?”
I tilted my head to the side, pondering his question while secretly thrilling at the direction our conversation had taken.
Paul was my only real relationship, and it was pure vanilla by anyone’s standards. I liked vanilla, but I wouldn’t have minded a chocolate fucking sprinkle here and there.
What would it be like to be with Daire?
And how long could it possibly last?
“This is requiring a lot of thought,” he mused.
My spine stiffened. This line of questioning would lead nowhere good for me.
“There she goes,” he murmured. “I wondered how long it would take you to snap.”
I pressed my lips together tightly and glared at him. My eyes narrowing, I warned, “Be careful, Daire. I bite.”
He smiled lazily. “So do I.”