Chapter 27
TWENTY-SEVEN
Astrid was in my home once more.
The moment Adam walked in with her, I felt my chest tighten.
I didn’t want to believe it was her in Adam’s arms. Not when she belonged in mine.
For the first time in my life, I was ready to maim my brother. My hands had been all over her—inside of her—and she was allowing my brother to touch her.
Was I being irrational? Yes, I was.
Did I care? No, not at all.
We were swamped at work. There had been a nasty crash, and everyone was bringing their car for maintenance. I didn’t have enough time to talk with her, even though I had already planned to visit her this weekend.
We needed to talk, but I also wanted her undivided attention because I was tired of letting her call the shots.
Yeah, I had fucked up, but things were never going to get better if she kept being stubborn and didn’t allow us to move on from this.
She didn’t have to forget it happened, but she also had to learn to grow from the consequences, just as I had.
“Beautiful,” I murmured as I stepped closer to her.
“Ty-asshole,” she shot back.
Her comeback would usually annoy me, but after last week, it had the opposite effect.
There had to be a reason why I could never move. Why, with every girl I was with, I kept comparing them to her. Astrid managed to be the only person who made me feel whole.
“You’re still going to call me that when I had my hand inside of your pu?—”
I didn’t finish my sentence because she covered my mouth with her hand.
“Nothing happened,” she cried.
This made me smile, and I knew she could feel my smile because her eyes narrowed. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from my face.
“Beautiful…you were wet and panting for me.”
Her eyes were wide as she craned her neck, searching for my brothers and my dad.
“Remember how we had a truce at my parents’? You will do the same now.”
My grin got bigger. That meant she was planning on staying. Maybe she didn’t want to cause a scene in front of my dad, but whatever the reason was, I was glad I had her here with us now.
I just needed to find a way to get her here permanently.
We had a big round patio table. One of the nicer purchases we made now that we were older. I liked dinners at the Harts’, it was something I didn’t know I wanted with my own family.
Once Ezekiel and Adam moved out, convincing everyone to start doing them wasn’t hard. My brothers and I had been craving this since Mom died. We turned out okay—at least, I’d like to think so.
Astrid sat down across from me. I know she would have preferred not to face me at all, but given the shape of the table, that wouldn’t be possible.
“Do you need help bringing anything out?” she asked as soon as she saw my father carrying today’s meal.
“Oh no, we are fine. You’re the guest today. Sit back and enjoy,” my dad told her.
“Do you want soda or some water?” Ezekiel asked her as he handed me a beer.
Astrid scrunched her nose, and it was adorable.
“I want a beer, too. It’s the least you could do after kidnaping me.”
Ezekiel snorted.
“I didn’t kidnap you,” he told her before handing her a beer.
Adam was the last one to walk out, holding a big salad bowl.
“Ah, look, all the family is here,” Adam stated as he put the salad bowl on the table and sat down.
“Did your cooking get better, Mr.…Mark?” Astrid teased my dad, but she was probably wondering if she was going to have to pretend to like the food that was given to her.
“Don’t worry, honey, you won’t get food poisoning from me. Ty cooked today. His lasagna is pretty darn good.”
My father’s words must have caught Astrid by surprise because she turned toward me and her pouty little mouth formed a cute “O”.
When I winked at her, she scowled and then immediately schooled her features. What I wouldn’t give to be able to turn back time, and I would have stopped myself from making one mistake after another.
“I’m okay at following a recipe. EZ, on the other hand, is great with a grill,” I told her, even if she avoided making eye contact with me.
Was she thinking about what happened last weekend? That I was seconds away from having her come on my hand? About the fact that we had crossed a line that was so murky, I asked myself why it was there in the first place?
“And you, Adam? What can you do?”
“Someone has to taste-test. You know me, I’m not scared of hurting my brothers’ feelings. If it tastes like shit, I’ll tell them.”
“You’re so nice,” Astrid said sarcastically. “We need more people like you in the world.”
“You hear that, Pops? I told you I was special.”
“I think she means dropped-your-head-on-the-floor kind of special,” I chimed in.
At that, Astrid let out a small giggle, and I hoped that by the end of this dinner, I would be a little closer to knocking down those damn walls she had built against me.
Astrid
What was the accepted time to stay for dinner at someone’s house?
I wanted to leave, and not because the food was bad.
The lasagna was pretty good. Tyler made it with ricotta and spinach.
I loved ricotta cheese. I was never a fan of ground beef with my pasta, and I wondered if that factored into his cooking.
Ezekiel had brought the drinks, and Adam whipped up a quick salad.
It was beautiful to watch the Kanes come together like this, and that made my heart ache.
How did this come about? I was so used to being here for this family, whether it was good or bad, that now that I had new traditions shoved in my face, I was not handling it well.
I knew I was being unreasonable. But I couldn’t help the way I felt.
“So, what is it you do, Astrid?” Mr. Kane asked me.
My cheeks turned a bit red. I hoped no one said anything negative about the gossip column. I know I was anonymous, but it was still my column, and I was a bit attached to it.
“I work for The Willow Grove Herald ,” I told Mr. Kane.
Ezekiel pulled out his wallet and handed Ty a twenty-dollar bill.
“What’d I miss?”
Adam asked the same thing I was wondering.
“Ty said she went into journalism. I didn’t believe it.”
“He hustled you,” said Adam. “Astrid helped me with two of my research papers my senior year.”
“When was this?” asked Ty.
Adam chuckled.
“You honestly didn’t think I gave you two all those rides from the goodness of my heart, did you?”
The conversation was getting dangerously close to the past. Before anyone else could say anything else, my phone began to ring, and I pulled it out like it was a lifeline. When I saw it was Rachel, I immediately got up and excused myself so I could answer since I had not heard from her all day.
Rachel was okay. She needed me to do a favor, and since I was looking for the first excuse to leave, this was perfect timing.
When I returned to the table, Tyler was up and looking intently at me.
“Is everything okay?
“Yeah. Rachel needs me. I have to go. Thank you so much for having me, Mark… The food was good,” I mumbled toward Tyler, still refusing to make eye contact with him.
Waving goodbye to Adam and Ezekiel, I began to walk away from their house. I had just gotten the gate open and was making my way through the side of the house when I felt someone grab my arm.
I didn’t have to turn to see who that someone was.
“What’s the rush, beautiful?”
“I have to run some errands. I wish I could stay, but I can’t.” The lie dripped from my lips rather easily.
“Then let me come with you. That way we can also talk.”
I finally allowed myself to look at him. In honesty, I was a bit taken aback with his forward approach.
“Talk about what?” My question came out even despite the unease I was feeling.
Tyler glared at me.
“Don’t you dare run away from this, beautiful,” he warned.
“There’s nothing to run from,” I bit back instantly.
He let out a humorless laugh.
“Don’t you get tired of running? I’m so fucking sorry I fucked up, and I hurt your feelings, Astrid, but you up and left, then ripped me out of your life. You didn’t even give me a chance to make up for it.”
His words hurt. They proved every single horrid thought I had ever had about that night. I wasn’t overreacting, though. My feelings were valid, but maybe so were his.
“I’m not having this conversation,” I said sternly.
“Four years wasn’t enough time for you?” he spat back at me, and I knew he was frustrated with me.
“No,” I spat back, because clearly this new me was a bitch.
Something flashed in his eyes, something I couldn’t decipher. He shook his head, letting it go.
“Come on, let’s get you home.”
Fuck.
I had forgotten I didn’t have my car with me. Fucking Adam. He was going straight to my S-H-I-T list.
“Rachel needs me to help her with something,” I told him as I got in the car.
Don’t ask me why I was trying to explain things to him. Maybe it was years of conditioning that made me feel ill when we fought. Neither of us could ever stand to stay mad at the other for long.
“I’m sure she does,” he mumbled, clearly being done trying to get me to see reason.
The drive back to my house was awkward and tense. I’d done such a good job in blocking prom night out of my memory. It still hurt, and maybe that was my fault for never allowing myself time to process the damage.
I couldn’t heal because I refused to look at the wound that made me grieve.
When we got to my house, I opened the door and whispered a thank-you to him.
Life had a way of making enemies out of two friends. Making strangers out of people who had love for one another. Or maybe it wasn’t life at all—but our own decisions that made it easy for a wedge to come in and tear everything down.
“Bring your car in. It needs an oil change,” he told me as I closed the door.