44. Marnie
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Marnie
Accommodating three people and three cats in my small place is a challenge—I don’t know how Mom and I did it. Of course, I didn’t have a room devoted to game-making or a living room full of cat towers back then. But, we make do.
Tilly is a curious bundle of adorable excitement. She raves about Grady’s place, the dogs, the cats, my truck, and even my place. She happily takes on chores like watering the plants, feeding the cats, and helping with dishes like she’s desperate for a normal home life.
I remember how that felt. I also remember how lonely a nomadic life was—I don’t want that for Mom or Tilly if I can help it. They stayed at their last place for three years—a new record for Mom. So, maybe there’s hope that they’ll find a permanent home here, especially with a support system.
Soon, when tapped out on self-assigned chores, Tilly crashes. I give her and Mom my bed—it makes more sense. And when the house is quiet and my guests completely taken care of, I let Mom know that I’m heading to Grady’s for “a game of chess.”
“Is that what you kids are calling it these days?” She laughs before kissing my cheek. “See you in the morning.”
The night air whips through my hair on the short drive to Grady’s, making me cold, but I like it. I want Grady to warm me. The last twelve hours have been an emotional flood, overrunning me with love and excitement, but also fears and misgivings—I am mentally spent. Through it all, I’ve latched on to how I want to feel, as Grady said, and trusted my feelings to lead me as they should go. And the overwhelming feeling now is how desperate I am to get back to him.
Every part of me aches for him.
I’ve got no complaints about my previous sex life. I’ve had very capable, enjoyable partners. But I didn’t realize what was missing, how much more sex could be with someone like Grady Tripp.
A strong connection magnifies everything. Touches feel electric. Kisses feel intoxicating. Everything is more intense, deeper, and breathtaking.
I knew sex. I didn’t know sex like this. And that’s not simply because I’ve moved from an emotional baby pool to the vast and tumultuous deep end. It’s because of him.
Grady makes loving me an art, an act of worship, his magnum opus. I have never been loved like this. I feel it pulsing through his veins and charging my core. His intensity invigorates me. Frees me. He makes me more myself than I’ve ever been.
That’s what I need tonight—to be myself with him.
It’s nearly eleven when I pull in next to The Beast, moon high and lights low. Tomorrow’s a work day. I bet he’s sleeping. Sitting in the driver’s seat, twisting the steering wheel in my hands, I second-guess myself. A sigh putters out of me—I never told him I was coming. Never even hinted. It’s been such an overwhelming day. Should I be here?
But then, I remember what he said. Anytime for any reason. I exit Beauty anyway.
The porch light blinks as I approach, and I find a note on the door.
Marina,
It’s open. Meet me on the upper deck.
Grady
I choke on a gasp, snatch the note off the door, and go inside. It’s dark. The dogs sleep peacefully around the fireplace, barely noticing me. I lock the door behind me, kick off my shoes, and follow the light glowing from upstairs. I traipse through his quiet bedroom to the sliding glass doors.
The deck is aglow with white lights over the railings and soft lanterns tucked in corners. A thick pile of blankets and pillows occupies the wide flooring. A table in the corner holds wine and snacks, and soft music plays from somewhere I can’t see. Grady leans against the deck railing, facing me with a soft smile.
It all comes over me at once. Remnants of my lonely, scared, and difficult childhood butt up against the joy of Mom’s return. I have a sister! And a sweet second chance at a family I thought I’d lost and didn’t know I had. Hope battles leftover resentment and anger—yes, I had it tough, but I’m stronger for it.
Even so, I ache for thinking I wasn’t enough. For all the time and energy I spent being the go-to girl for the Sullivans. For fooling myself into false love and what would’ve been a fake family.
Now that I know what family truly feels like, fear edges in. Letting Mom back in means I could lose her again. Lose Tilly. I’m devastated for the seven years I’ve missed with her already. I ache for lost time, and time I don’t want to lose as a big sister. Even being a big sister strikes fear into me. All this fear and regret compound into relief, too, thanks to him.
He holds his arms open to me. An emotional tidal wave hits me, so overcome with feelings that I can barely reach him. I fall apart. He catches me. Once in his arms, I break down, crying.
Crying!
Bawling into his shoulder, the strength of our connection strikes me. He knew I’d show up, knew I needed him, and did all this for me.
“This is me falling apart,” I blubber, reminded of that night in the hospital when he held my hand, and feeling grateful that we’re beyond that now.
“I know, darling,” he says, holding me tighter. “Is everything okay with your mom and Tilly?”
I nod against him. “Better than okay. It’s… lovely. And frightening.”
“I have a good feeling about it, though. Don’t you?”
“Yes, but I needed us. I came here for sex, but then, seeing that note and you, it all caught up with me at once.”
He laughs. “You get the prize for holding it together this long.”
“I’m a smidge overwhelmed,” I confess.
He nods. “Rightly so. Tell me what’s upset you.”
My shoulders bounce in an I-don’t-know. “All of it. None of it. It’s all too much. She apologized to me… in tears, Grady. I want to believe her, but how can I?”
“It’s a risk. She’ll have to earn your trust again. It’ll take time. The longer she’s here, the more you’ll relax into it.”
“And Tilly. Oh, my God, Tilly. She’s an adorable bundle of sweetness and smarts. It kills me that I’ve lost so much time with her, but at the same time, I’m scared to death. I don’t know how to be a big sister.”
“Yes, you do,” Grady laughs. “You already are a big sister. Look what you’ve done for Marigold and Wren. They adore you, and you’ve done all you can to help and encourage them. That’s what it’s all about—loving and supporting them.”
I wipe my tears, thinking of my sweet friends. “You’re right. I’m good at loving and supporting people I care about.”
He chuckles. “See? It’s easy. It’ll be even easier with Tilly because you know exactly what her life has been like.”
I take a breath. “Yeah, I do.”
He leads me over to the cushy space he’s created. “Get comfortable and have some wine. The more you talk, the less overwhelmed you’ll feel.”
Sinking into the blankets and pillows, I feel nested—warm and protected. He hands me a glass of wine, and, between sips, I tell him everything, from Mom’s sweet apology to my un-niceness to my housing problem.
“Move in with me,” he says with zero hesitation. “I want you to, anyway.”
“Do you always ask women to move in after only one date?” I joke.
“Never. You will always be the exception,” he says, making me swoon.
I match his intense stare with my own, considering it. Saying yes goes against my hard-earned independence and good common sense. It feels too soon.
But Grady’s my exception, too. If he isn’t my soulmate, then soulmates don’t exist.
“I’ll think about it,” I finally say.
His lips curl into a sexy smile. “Fair enough. Think about it. Think hard, though.”
I laugh. “I will.”
“Perhaps a preview of what that’d be like will get a yes out of you,” he says, making me giggle as he moves closer.
“It couldn’t hurt,” I say.
He moves our wine glasses aside and scoots toward me on his knees. I expect him to meet me where I am, lying on the blankets and pillows and ravishing me with kisses. Instead, he holds out his hand.
“Come here, Marina.”
He reaches out for me, and I meet him there. He brushes my fingers with his lips. “I love holding your hand.”
He pecks each finger before kissing my palm and then my wrist. His touches are soft and delicate, yet my heart rate kicks into a wild flurry. He takes my other hand and does the same, his touch almost featherlike.
“These hands that create games and carry notebooks and rescue things,” he whispers, his voice raspy.
A breathless giggle escapes.
“Rescued me.” He sets my arms around his neck, his fingers dancing down them. Goosebumps break out over his soft touch and the night air.
“I love these arms that steer the ship across the high seas,” he grins, and I laugh. “I love them most when they’re around me.”
I want to speak, but I’m breathless and captivated by him. His fingertips skate over my neck and collarbone and then down the front of my dress. He finds the hem and lifts it over my head.
His hand falls over my raging heart. “I love this heart… that always makes room for everyone.”
He leans down and kisses my chest, his lips lingering there. “I love that it has the most room for me.”
His hands slide around my back, unclasping my bra. He tugs it away and eyes me lovingly.
“I love this body. Every freckle. Every scar. Every beautiful curve,” he says, his fingers traveling over my breasts before cupping them. His thumbs drag over my nipples, making me moan. I swear my heart might ram out of my chest—loving every second of his attention but desperate for him to give me more.
More, Grady. More. I almost whimper.
His hands slide under my panties, yanking me closer by my ass. I cry out again, and he smiles.
“I love every moan,” he whispers, his breath hitting my lips, “when you’re breathless, when you come.”
I tug on his shirt, nearly ripping it as I yank it off him. My hands tremble, undoing his pants.
“I love the desperate way you love me.”
“I am desperate, Grady,” I manage.
He smiles with soft satisfaction while I die for him. My hands race over his bare chest, but he grabs them, holding them still.
“I love that when you fall apart, it’s only with me,” he says, his voice almost stern.
He turns me around, pressing me to him with an arm wrapped over my breasts. With the other hand, he tugs my hair to one side, kissing my bare shoulder. I lean against him, head tilting toward the night sky. He twists my long locks in his hand like a rope he’s winding. I love the pressure of him holding me like that, keeping me positioned exactly how he wants me.
With a hand on my back, he bends me forward on all fours, still holding my hair. My back arches to accommodate him. He yanks my underwear down in one tug. Then, his fingers claw gently down my back.
“I love you, Marina. Forever in my heart. Forever in my bed—if I have my way,” he says, one hand holding my hair and the other rubbing my ass. “Tell me you love me.”
“I fucking love you, Grady,” comes my breathy reply. “Please.”
I hear him chuckle behind me—I don’t cuss often. Then, he rams himself inside me, one beautiful, aching, forceful thrust that makes me cry out and beg him for more.
“Damn, Marina,” he groans. He takes me again, slowly. Savoring it. Exploring me.
His pace soon quickens, and I think he’s getting close.
But then, he brings me to him, pulling my back against his chest and ravishing my neck. His dick stills inside me as he holds me in his lap. His hand slips around to my front, finding my clit. I relax, savoring his touch, as he whispers, “You first.”
I grind against him as he rubs me. “Let’s go together,” I challenge.
“You first,” he demands, “then together.”
I give in, his stern voice enough to send me over the edge. He braces me against him, still inside me, as I tremble and fall apart all over again.
“Good,” he breathes against my ear. “I love making you come.”
Then, he maneuvers me to the bedding and massages my thighs as he hovers over me. Climbing between my legs, he kisses me, desperate, tongue-laced, intense kisses that fire every atom in my body at once. Reenergized by it, I push him onto his back and climb on top.
“I love making you come,” I say, shifting my hips and forcing him deep inside me. He watches me, moving up and down him, nibbling his bottom lip. I smile, loving his eyes on me. He grabs my hips, pulling and pushing with my rhythm.
Soon, his eyes roll back, and he mutters, “FUCK, Marina.”
“Say you love me again,” I demand sweetly.
“I fucking love you,” he grunts.
I go deeper, making him moan, and grind myself against him, wanting every inch of him I can get. “Now, show me.”
His grip tightens, and his face contorts at my command, and I feel him spill inside me. His heat, his pulsing dick, bring me to my breaking point again, and I convulse with aching, intense, beautiful pleasure.
He holds me there, watching, and his hand rests over my heart like he wants to bring us down together. My hand falls atop his as I slow my breathing.
He groans. “Fucking hell, Marina,” he breathes out. “How does it keep getting better?”
I chuckle and collapse beside him. “I don’t know. But I’m okay with it.”
He leans over, kissing my shoulder and then my lips. “Pretty good argument for moving in, huh?”
An owl hoots in the trees high above us. His smile matches mine at the sound. We’re outside, surrounded by trees, darkness, and soft lights, and nothing could be more perfect.
“The pros list is pretty long and impressive,” I admit, “but I need to think about it.”
A slight twinge of disappointment flashes, though he says, “Of course.”
I curl closer, kissing his chest and shoulder. “Grady, I’ve never felt so loved. That’s enough, right? For tonight?”
He scoff-smiles. “It’s enough tonight or any night. This is all I want. You and me, together.”
I nod, grateful and in a perpetual blush over everything that’s happened. “Should we go inside? Go to bed?”
He shakes his head. “Hell, no. You and me, under the stars.”
“Won’t we get cold?”
“Darling, I’ll keep you warm. I promise.”
I believe him. And I get my wish—naked Marnie in a Tripp Grady Tripp nest.