Chapter 19
Since he left Hertfordshire, Darcy had acquired a better understanding of the words missing and longing.
And the joy he felt when he saw Elizabeth again proved to him what a significant place she occupied in his heart, in his mind, and in his life.
In the first days in London, as Bingley spoke only of his betrothed and of his plans for a quick wedding, Darcy regretted that he had not yet confessed his feelings to Elizabeth.
Perhaps he should have proposed. As promised, he assisted Bingley in purchasing a licence, and he felt a slight jealousy that he was not in the same position.
Of course, in the moments when his reason controlled his desires, Darcy knew that the situation was different, that his relationship with Elizabeth was not as old nor as strong as Bingley’s with Jane Bennet.
Just as he was aware a too hasty proposal might disconcert Elizabeth.
He knew patience was better, but his yearning and his eagerness put him in danger of acting imprudently.
On the day of the Bennets’ arrival, he felt as eager as a young boy. He counted the hours until the afternoon when he could go to the Matlocks’. His cousins Richard and Anthony were there too, and his uncle looked rather agitated.
“I am very curious to meet Mr Bennet and his family,” Richard said. “And amused. I have rarely seen Father so preoccupied about guests.”
“I shall only stay to meet and greet them and then go home, as my wife is waiting for me with dinner,” Anthony added. “But we shall both come tomorrow evening for the party.”
“It will not be a party, only a dinner for our families,” Lord Matlock declared. “The Gardiners will come too, and of course Bingley. I am not sure about his sisters.”
“We shall be there, Father.”
“I know, Anthony. I appreciate that Cecilia wishes to attend, considering she is expecting and not feeling too well. Please tell her to be careful and not exhaust herself.”
“I shall, Father. We shall come, and if she feels unwell, we may leave early.”
“And you, Darcy? I hope Georgiana will come?”
“Certainly.”
“Good.”
The time passed even slower for Darcy while he waited. He was engaged in conversation with his uncle and cousins, but his only interest was in Elizabeth.
Bingley joined them at some point, alone and agitated. Darcy smiled; unlike him, his friend was allowed to show his eagerness at seeing his betrothed.
When the guests arrived, however, Darcy had his own reason for joy, though he was more restrained in expressing it.
As soon as she stepped down from the carriage, Elizabeth looked at him; their eyes locked and remained so for a few moments.
Her lips parted slightly, touched by a little smile, and her cheeks were pink — perhaps from the cold, perhaps for another reason.
Once the Bennets were inside, the bustle began, with Mrs Bennet expressing her amazement and her younger daughters equally voluble.
Elizabeth discreetly took a few steps aside, and Darcy moved near her. He bowed his head slightly, and she nodded.
“Miss Bennet, you had a pleasant journey, I hope?”
“Very much so, Mr Darcy. We are very happy to be here.”
“And we are very happy to see you.”
“Miss Elizabeth, come here! Let me introduce my sons — Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam and Anthony Fitzwilliam, Viscount Hayden.”
“Miss Elizabeth, what a pleasure to make your acquaintance! We have heard so much about you!”
Darcy could not speak to Elizabeth privately for the next few hours; the Bennets were invited into the drawing room for some refreshments, then all went to rest in their chambers and change for dinner.
The viscount returned home, but Bingley remained.
“Darcy, will you stay for dinner tonight?” the earl enquired.
“I shall, if you do not mind.”
“Bingley, your Miss Bennet is a stunning beauty,” the colonel said. “You are quite fortunate to have secured her affection. She will be universally admired wherever she goes, including among the ton. Many men will envy you.”
“Yes, she is beautiful. I know I am fortunate,” Bingley admitted, slightly agitated.
“Cousin, do not tease poor Bingley about other men,” Darcy interjected. “Uncle already did that last month. But I agree — Miss Bennet is beautiful, and he is fortunate that he will marry for affection and mutual regard.”
“That is my main goal in life too,” the colonel replied, amused. “Unfortunately, I must carefully place my affection and regard on someone with reasonable connections and fortune. Yes, I know I am shallow for giving so much importance to such things. I can already see Darcy’s reprimanding glare.”
“You are misinterpreting me, Cousin. I know your worth, and I trust your wisdom, though I do not always agree with your words or actions. I wish you to find the happiness you desire.”
“And you, Darcy? When will you find your happiness?” Bingley asked.
“Very soon, I hope,” Darcy answered after a brief hesitation.
“Really? This is the first time I have heard such an answer from you,” the colonel continued. “Does this mean you have already found it? Or will you soon begin the search?”
“Soon means soon, Cousin.” Darcy smiled. “If I wished to say more, I would have already done so.”
“That is a fair statement. I shall tease Bingley further until dinner is ready.”
“That is not a particularly useful activity,” Lord Matlock interjected. “You will remain only a tease, and Bingley will remain a man with beautiful betrothed who loves him.”
Mr Bennet was the first of his family to return to them, and he gladly accepted a drink.
“Henry, I would say that you have made my wife and daughters happier than I have succeeded in doing in four-and-twenty years of marriage.”
“I am sure that is not true.” Lord Matlock laughed.
“Do not worry. It was not a complaint, only a fair statement. I just saw your library, so I can also say you have made me happier than I have made myself in the last four-and-twenty years.”
The earl laughed again, joined by his son.
“Mr Bennet, my father tells me you are fond of books. And so is Miss Elizabeth, I hear?” the colonel enquired.
“That would be a fair statement too.”
They talked for a little while, then Elizabeth entered. Darcy’s heart raced and pounded, and he felt as silly as a young boy experiencing the first stirrings of love. Not that he would know the sensation, since he had never been in love before.
“Miss Bennet! Come in. We were just talking about you. Would you like to sit here?” the colonel asked, taking Elizabeth’s arm and directing her to the sofa. He sat next to her, and Darcy felt slightly uncomfortable.
“Thank you, Colonel, you are very kind.”
“Are you hungry? Dinner should be ready in half an hour.”
“No. I mean, I am hungry, but I am too busy simply enjoying being here. My sister Jane will be down shortly,” she said to a nervous Bingley.
“We were talking about books and libraries,” Mr Bennet explained.
“I have not seen the library yet,” Elizabeth replied. “But I might look for a book to read tonight.”
“You may choose whatever you wish and make whatever plans you like,” Lord Matlock said.
“Thank you. Tomorrow, I would like to go for a walk with Jane. Mama and my sisters wish to go shopping.”
“I shall come to escort you,” Bingley immediately offered.
“That would be lovely, sir,” Elizabeth said.
Darcy felt the words in his throat but needed another moment to speak.
“My sister might wish to take a walk too. If we are not intruding, we might join you. If Miss Bennet approves, of course,” he finally said.
Elizabeth looked at him, clearly surprised but holding her smile.
“That would be wonderful, Mr Darcy. I am sure Jane would be happy with Miss Darcy’s company.”
“I would come too, but I have some prior engagements tomorrow,” the colonel added. “However, I shall see you all tomorrow evening.”
“Good plan,” Lord Matlock interjected. “And you, Thomas? What do you plan to do tomorrow?”
Mr Bennet threw the earl a puzzled glance.
“What do you mean? I spent a day in the carriage travelling, which you know I heartily dislike. If I am allowed to choose, why would I go anywhere outside the library tomorrow?”
Mr Bennet was so serious that all the others laughed.
“Papa dislikes London for the same reason I love it.” Elizabeth laughed. “Unless we are attending the theatre, and since you have no places to fish here, I doubt you will pull him out of the library often.”
“You should visit Pemberley,” the colonel unexpectedly said. “You will certainly love the library there. It is not just large, but many generations have added to its contents. And there are plenty of places to fish.”
Elizabeth looked at Darcy, her face a little flushed.
“Mr Bennet, please consider an open invitation to Pemberley at any time you want,” Darcy said. Mr Bennet seemed surprised, and Elizabeth’s smile became timid. “I would be happy to share my library with someone who appreciates it, as well as my streams and ponds with someone who enjoys the sport.”
The colonel laughed. “Darcy, do you realise your invitation to Mr Bennet is offensive to the rest of us? Do you mean we are not capable of appreciating your library?”
Darcy smiled. “That was not my intention, of course.”
“I confess to be one of those,” Bingley interjected. “The only thing I remember about the Pemberley library is its elegant furniture and a large number of books.”
The sound of voices and steps announced the rest of the family, and dinner was served. The colonel continued his attentions towards Elizabeth and even sat next to her at the table, while Darcy took a chair opposite them.
Mrs Bennet expressed her rapture about the house, their rooms, the maids who attended them, the view from the windows — and her chatter did not fade throughout the meal.
Finally, tiredness defeated everyone, and the Bennet ladies retired for the night soon after dinner. The gentlemen remained only half an hour more, then Darcy and Bingley left. The next day was expected to be just as full.