Chapter 4 #3
“I advise young people of my acquaintance not to marry without affection and to give their admiration to someone who deserves it. Someone worthy of it, not necessarily by name or position but by character and nature. I would give you the same advice, if you asked me for it, Miss Bingley, though we do not seem to be on the same page. I wish with all my heart that you do not come to agree with me only after you marry.”
Miss Bingley turned pale; Darcy grew uncomfortable too and interjected.
“It is even more fortunate if one falls in love with someone from their own circle. I know this is the case with most of the acquaintances the admiral and I share.”
“That statement sounds like you are mocking me, Darcy,” the admiral said.
“I do not have many acquaintances who married for love, as you well know. Those who did were perhaps just fortunate to find someone within their circle. I shall not refrain from advising every young lady or gentleman to marry someone that equally pleases their eyes, their ears, their heart, and their mind.”
“It was certainly not my intention to be disrespectful,” Darcy replied.
“Quite the contrary. My own parents were equally fortunate in their choice of a spouse. Both came from old, respectable families, and their deep affection and loyalty to each other added to all the other things they had in common. Their marriage was truly to the advantage of both. One to which everyone should look up to.”
“What if one cannot find such a person? Or what if one did find such a person but their feelings were not reciprocated? Would it be better to never marry than settle for less?” Mrs Hurst asked.
“That is an excellent question, Mrs Hurst, and I truly do not have an answer. I would say it depends on the individual. What I do know for sure is that one cannot be happy, and marriage might turn into a cage of turmoil, if there is no affection or attraction between spouses,” the admiral said.
“I would dare say the marriage might also turn into turmoil if it is based only on a shallow admiration and meaningless attraction that will soon pass, leaving behind only regrets and frustration,” Miss Bingley declared.
“True,” the admiral admitted. “That is why I mentioned that, in my opinion, one should choose to satisfy all the senses. And, of course, the senses must be stirred all the time, so the pleasure remains longer. There is nothing more satisfying for me than to be able to carry on an interesting conversation with a spirited lady that I admire.”
“I agree,” Darcy said absently, holding his glass, drawing all eyes upon him. He felt slightly embarrassed by the words that had slipped from his lips, so he tried to keep his composure while he continued. “A lady’s beauty is easily enhanced or shadowed by her knowledge, education, and wit.”
“We must also be aware that it is the same for men. As handsome as a man is, his manners, his conversation, his amiability will make the ladies admire him or not,” the admiral concluded.
Emptying his third glass of brandy, Bingley began to laugh.
“That is what happened to Darcy when we appeared at the Meryton assembly. The first time the ladies saw him, all of them stared at him, whispering about him with interest. Luckily for me, very soon his aloofness and haughtiness made everybody favour me over him.”
Darcy and the admiral joined him in his amusement. “Do not be so modest, Bingley. Everybody favours you over me, all the time,” Darcy said, and Bingley laughed again.
The admiral’s statements distressed Darcy and brought back his previous struggles. He agreed with most of what the admiral had said, although such sensible advice was difficult to follow in real life.
His own parents had often advised him the same way, but since their deaths, life had left him alone, with the responsibilities of everyone whose lives depended on him.
Yes, nobody should marry without love, admiration, and attraction.
That is why he had been reluctant to take a single step towards any young lady he had met.
None of them held his interest and his admiration in any particular way.
However, no responsible gentleman would disregard the demands of duty, either; he had to mind the obligations towards those who depended on him and the expectations forced upon him by society, his family, and his own common sense.
Elizabeth Bennet had stirred his senses in a way no woman ever had before.
Although she was a gentleman’s daughter and he had never doubted her worthiness, he could not consider her the future Mrs Darcy.
Too many obstacles stood in the way of such a notion, and the power of his desire to be with her appeared more a sign of weakness and a childish infatuation than a grounded affection that could be the basis of a lifetime commitment.
Being certain Elizabeth received his attention with pleasure and reciprocated his admiration, Darcy grew worried.
He feared that the admiral’s attention to the Bennets would arouse new reasons for hope in her and would generate unrealistic expectations, especially if he continued to visit the Bennets and to spend more time in her presence.
He feared that Elizabeth would assume too much from his mere politeness and would suffer when he left and ruined her hopes.
Consequently, he decided to limit the time he was in her company.
He could not renege on the dinner invitation without appearing rude and without having to provide the admiral with detailed and awkward explanations.
So, he would go, but afterwards, he would only meet her at the ball once more, then he would depart for London.
“Darcy? Darcy!” he heard a loud voice calling.
“Yes, Bingley?”
“The admiral and I are going to have a drink in the library. Will you join us?”
Only then did he notice that Miss Bingley and the Hursts were ready to retire. He nodded and followed the two gentlemen.
“You have seemed quite absent since the last course,” Bingley said.
“Yes…I apologise.”
“Is something wrong?” the admiral asked once the library door had closed behind them.
“No. I was thinking about my return to London after the ball.”
“I must go to London too, but I shall return before Christmas,” Bingley declared, seeming slightly uneasy.
The admiral was watching him sympathetically. “Surely it must be hard to be torn between your wishes and your sisters’. Sometimes, one must impose one’s own will in regard to one’s own future.”
Bingley looked surprised, his face coloured, then he glanced at Darcy.
“Admiral, I was quite impressed with your opinions about marriage,” he said.
“My only question would be…how can one know the difference between infatuation and true love? How can I be certain that my feelings will last? And how can I be sure that a lady possesses genuine affection for me and is not just accepting my courtship because her family insist upon her doing so? Or because by marrying me she can ensure a safe future for her and her family?”
Bingley seemed so distressed that the admiral looked torn between laughing or pitying him.