Chapter 12 #2
“Why? Mr Darcy claims that Wickham spread malicious falsehoods on purpose to blacken his good name and did not care whether he hurt you too. The others engaged in this atrocity because they are vulgar miscreants, as the admiral said. I am not sure whether they believed it or not, but they found it amusing.”
“What do you mean, Papa? Could they possibly believe such a dreadful story? Am I so despicable in their eyes? Why?”
“Lizzy dear, I cannot answer that question. I have no doubt you are as good as a young lady can be. There is no reason for anybody to think ill of you.”
“And Mr Darcy — what will he think of me? For someone to imagine that Mr Darcy could… And I could… There can be nothing more appalling! And the admiral? What is he thinking? I shall never dare to see any of them again!”
“Mr Darcy and the admiral were equally shocked and enraged. Mr Darcy marched out to confront the officers, and the admiral seriously suggested he shoot them. I would certainly not have opposed it.”
“But Papa, where did all this occur? Who else was there?”
“Nobody else was around at that moment. Do not worry. Mr Darcy held his temper well enough to avoid a bigger scandal. And the admiral called in Colonel Forster, who took charge and sent the scoundrels away. Mr Darcy seemingly has proof that Mr Wickham owes him a large amount of money. He has decided to throw the man in debtors’ prison, and I shall insist on him doing so! ”
“Dear Lord, I cannot believe all this… Have I done something to cause it? Poor Mr Darcy. He was so thoughtful to escort me home and to take care of the poor puppies. That was all! And instead of being praised, he is laughed at and his honour doubted!”
“Strangely enough, Mr Darcy blames himself for not being more careful with his actions and exposing you to such rumours.”
“Surely that is not true, Papa! Was there something wrong in our behaviour?”
“Of course not, my dear. I am so sorry, Lizzy…I feel it is my fault! I never took good care of any of you, never censured Lydia and Kitty, never corrected your mother’s breaches of decorum…and now you must suffer…”
“Papa, please,” Elizabeth said, embracing him. “Do not blame yourself for the actions of some horrible men! I am upset, but it will soon pass, and so will these rumours. Nobody in their right mind would believe such falsehoods.”
“I believe the same, Lizzy. You are loved and admired by everyone who knows you. Such gossip cannot ruin the good reputation you have held in this community all your life. I must go and speak to Colonel Forster now.”
“Papa, you look unwell. Please rest a little longer. Your health is more important than anything else. I shall bring you something to eat, and you must sleep a little more.”
“Very well, Lizzy. Besides, Mr Darcy and the admiral promised to call and bring news…”
“Let me help you to your room now, Papa. We shall see what happens later.”
“Wake me up when they arrive, Lizzy.”
“I shall, Papa,” she answered, secretly wishing the ground would open up and swallow her so she would not be forced to ever see Mr Darcy again.
She helped her father into bed, then returned to the library alone. Her mind tried to make sense of everything her father had related to her, word by word.
The notion that anybody could imagine she was Mr Darcy’s mistress was astonishing, appalling, and mortifying.
She felt ashamed just thinking about it.
And such an insinuation had come from the man she had considered a friend, the man whose claims against Mr Darcy she had at first believed.
The man whose attentions once pleased her.
How could she have been such a simpleton?
Perhaps she deserved Mr Wickham’s lack of consideration, since she had granted him her trust so carelessly.
Also, she had always found Mr Denny and Mr Pratt pleasant and friendly and had never doubted their integrity.
Instead, she had doubted Mr Darcy’s character because of his cold manners.
While she had easily admired the appearance of goodness, for a while she had failed miserably to recognise the goodness itself.
Yes, she had been a complete fool, and she was now suffering the consequences.
As much as she had tried to reject her father’s concerns, the more she reflected upon it, the more she feared the false reports were spread wider and would be more difficult to dismiss.
She did not care much about it for herself, but she felt offended, hurt, and ashamed for Mr Darcy and the admiral.
But she was not alone in the danger. Such reports could affect and ruin her sisters’ futures, too.
The Netherfield party was expected to depart for London in a few days.
Mr Darcy would certainly want to distance himself from the scandal; that was understandable.
Elizabeth felt a tightness in her chest at the thought, but she refused to acknowledge the reason for it.
Yes, she had enjoyed Mr Darcy’s company and the set they had shared; the dance and the conversation had truly been a delight.
And the quiver she felt every time he touched her hand was pleasant and disturbing beyond her understanding.
But she expected nothing from him except perhaps to see him again from time to time and maintain a friendly acquaintance, especially if Mr Bingley proposed to Jane.
But would he, now that he was involved in the scandal? What was he thinking? Would he even return to Hertfordshire, to Jane, or would he rather keep his distance, just like his friend?
Had Jane’s happiness been wasted and her future ruined too?
Elizabeth did not care much for herself, but for her sister and her father, she prayed to see those men punished and suffering too.
Especially Mr Wickham, who had forced her to see the flaws in her character and lose faith in her wit and judgment.