Chapter 2
It’s baltic, the mixture of hot sweat and the chilly air burning my skin. My ears sting. My nose is running. My temples are pounding with a growing headache. They’re all typical winter running side effects. And I’m here for them.
My lungs now burning too, I push myself to the limit, sprinting the final stretch of pathway through the park, relishing the icy air on my numbing face. Every pound of my feet sends a vibration through my body, each one booming in my head. I can no longer feel my legs.
So I run faster.
My short, sharp, hot breaths hit the frigid air, forming temporary clouds before they dissolve, disappearing, being replaced by another. A stitch comes and goes. My eyes are glued to the last tree in the line of dozens down the path, the branches naked except for a kiss of frost.
The second I reach it, I stop dead in my tracks, folding over and bracing my hands on my knees, gasping down at the concrete, watching beads of sweat drip down.
I try to control the air entering and leaving my body, feeling my heart pounding in my chest and ears as I check my watch, hitting End Run with a very trembly fingertip, my adrenaline rampant.
And then as I straighten up, the nausea kicks in and my legs start to wobble too.
“Jesus,” I whisper on a gasp, blowing out air and starting a steady jog out of the park, shaking my hands, trying to get some feeling back.
Once I make it to the exit onto the main road, I stop and take a moment, hands on my hips, panting up to the sky, still dripping wet, but the shakes are subsiding. I no longer feel sick. I think I’m past heart attack territory.
I shrug my way out of my running jacket and tie it around my waist, welcoming the freezing cold air on my clammy skin as I start to jog again, warming down, until I reach Pret. I grab a coffee and walk the final stretch home, slow and meandering, in no rush at all.
The old boy in the apartment next to mine is struggling to get his shopping trolley out the door when I make it back. “Here,” I say, holding the door open with my hip and pulling his trolley through.
“Very kind.” He holds the doorframe as he shuffles past, looking up and down my bare arms. “You’ll catch a chill, dear.”
“I’ve been running,” I say, as way of an explanation for my half-dressed state.
“Running?” He chuckles, hobbling on. “I’m lucky I can walk these days.” And as if to prove his point, he wobbles, making me jerk and reach for his arm. “See?”
I frown, looking out into the street, where there are endless icy patches. “Are you sure you’re all right to go out there, Mr. . . .”
“Percival.” He smiles at me, his old eyes glassy, his wrinkles deepening. “You’ve lived here for two years and we’re only now introducing ourselves.”
“Well, we’ve never bumped into each other.”
“Indeed. Because you leave at the crack of dawn and come back after my bedtime. At least, you do in the week. At the weekends, you leave at the crack of dawn for a run and return just before I leave to go to the market.” He pulls an old watch out of his pocket, the leather strap hanging on by a thread. “You’re late today.”
“I am?”
“By ten minutes.”
“That’s because I had to walk slower to avoid the icy patches on our street. You should be careful.”
“Oh, no need to worry about me.” Taking the doorframe with both hands, he lifts his foot, prompting me to look down. “Got myself some snow boots.” Claiming back his trolley, he gets on his way. “Good day to you . . .”
“Camryn.”
“Pretty,” he chimes. “Good day, Camryn.”
“Good day, Mr. Percival,” I murmur, making sure he’s fully through the door before I let it close.
I watch him through the glass as he makes it out of the gate onto the pavement, releasing his trolley to fasten the last button on his coat and popping a flat cap on his head before ambling on his way slowly.
Two years. Have I really lived here that long?
It’s not home, never will be, but it’s better than the hotel room I lived in for a few months.
Letting myself in, I throw my keys on the empty wooden cabinet and wander into the kitchen, sipping my coffee as I go.
The middle shelf of the fridge is stacked with bottles of water, and I grab one, taking the small velvet pouch from my handbag and lowering to one of the two chairs at the small table.
Unzipping it, I tip out the box and pop a pill out of the foil, placing it on my tongue and swallowing it with some water.
The pain that courses through me as the small tablet works its way into my system is as strong now as it was the day I started taking these pills.
So I pop a few painkillers too, dragging my laptop close and scanning my emails.
Sixty-two. I delete eight. Only fifty-four to work through.
It’ll keep me busy for the rest of the day and part of my Sunday.
Chugging down the rest of my water, I get up and toss the bottle in the recycling bin, my muscles screaming perfectly as I head for the shower. I strip down, avoid the mirror, and step in, my face pointed up at the spray.
I see him the moment I close my eyes. Feel his breath on my face as his lips came close before we retreated.
I promised myself I wouldn’t have mindless sex with random men again, and yet there’s something about Dec that doesn’t feel random.
And it definitely isn’t mindless because he’s in my head again.
“Fuck.” I slap a palm into the tile and drop my head. Goddamn it for being the weekend.