Chapter 22 December 22nd
The smell of coffee brings me round, mixed with the distinct, lost lingering scent of kids shampoo.
I inhale in my darkness, letting that delicate scent sink deeply into me.
Naturally, the memories come with it, so I let them take hold for a few moments, enjoy them, before I open my eyes to a new day in a whole new world.
I find Albi star-fished in the middle of the bed on his back again, his arms draped over his head, his mouth open.
Standard Ellis boys sleeping pose. His crumpled pyjamas have ridden up his arms and legs, revealing his creamy, perfect skin.
His hair is a flawless mess. His lashes, like his daddy’s, are long and nearly touching his high cheekbones.
Lifting my head, I look over his body and see Dec’s side of the bed empty. He’s making coffee.
I roll onto my side and reach for a stray lock of hair lying across his eye, gently pushing it back, and freeze when he stirs and mumbles nonsensical words.
I quickly move back, anticipating what comes next, just as his foot shoots out, missing my hip by a hair’s breadth.
He tosses himself onto his side and sighs, settling.
“Oh, you beautiful little thing,” I whisper, shuffling closer to him, unable to stop myself from gently stroking his cheek.
Listening to him breathe as he sleeps, watching him, brings back a long-lost sense of peace.
I move back, getting more of his strewn little body in my sights, and reach for his hand, brushing across his fingers with the pad of my thumb, staring at the cute dimples where his knuckles are yet to develop.
Pure hands that have done no wrong in this world.
A mouth that hasn’t spoken hurtful or harmful words.
A heart that knows only love, whatever kind it might be.
Clarity hits me, and it hits me hard, making my blood warm and my heart beat strongly. This is a life raft. He is my life raft. Because I’m scared to think about where I might be now if I wasn’t here with them.
Lonely.
Hateful.
Empty.
“I need to go talk to your daddy,” I whisper, reaching over and kissing his cheek.
I hop out of bed and look down my front, wondering where the T-shirt came from.
I lift it. And my knickers too. A vague, sleepy memory comes back to me—of Dec wrestling my uncooperative body to get me covered up.
Anticipating the invasion of his bed by Albi.
I smile and head downstairs, pulling my hair up as I go.
Dec’s standing before the open fridge when I make it to the kitchen, glugging down some orange juice from the carton.
In his boxers. I take a brief, quiet moment to appreciate him.
His back muscles undulating as he tips the carton, his hand holding the door open making the muscles in his arm solid.
But most of all, I appreciate that I’m here with him.
Padding over quietly, I move in behind him and thread my arms through his, hugging his back briefly before kissing my way up to his neck, reaching up on my tippy-toes as he lowers his head and puts the orange juice back.
“Morning to you too,” he says, spinning around and dipping, getting me onto his shoulder.
“Whoa!” I cry, cocking my head as I watch his butt cheeks tense and swell from his long strides to the island.
His palm connects with my arse. “Ouch!” He bends and sits me on the counter, the cold stone sinking into my warm flesh which makes me sit up straight.
Shiny orbs of mischief gaze back at me. “Yes,” I say before he can speak, sweeping my palms across his shoulders.
“Yes, what?”
“I said, yes.”
“What did I ask you?”
“You didn’t ask me. You demanded in a roundabout way.”
His head tilts. “Go on.”
“I want to be with you all the time.”
A discreet smirk tilts one corner of his mouth. “Go on.”
“You and Albi.”
His eyebrows lift, his smile more apparent.
“Here,” I add, letting my hands drift down his bare chest as his palms stroke their way onto my thighs. My nose scrunches. He wrinkles his in return.
“I’d ask what’s changed your mind,” he whispers, slowly bringing his mouth close to mine, making sure that by the time he kisses me, I’m frantic for it, “but I really couldn’t give a shit.
” He takes my neck and holds me in place while he kisses me deep and hard, moving his body between my thighs.
Things happen down below that shouldn’t be happening when I’m half naked on the island and Albi is within a mile radius, and judging by the deep, guttural rumble that emanates from the back of Dec’s throat, it’s happening to him too.
But I take the moment, enjoying our closeness, no matter how long it lasts. We just have to keep it under control.
“Three more sleeps!”
“Oh my God,” I mumble.
“Fuck,” Dec hisses.
“Get off!” I shove him away and quickly slip off the counter, hearing the thumps of his little feet getting louder as he races down the stairs. I get myself on a stool and pull my T-shirt down my thighs as much as possible just in time for him to come bombing into the kitchen.
“Three more sleeps!” He runs laps around the island, my eyes following him until I’m dizzy. Blinking repeatedly, I find Dec, who’s got his front pushed close up to the counter. He looks in pain. I smile. He scowls.
“Albi, fella, slow down.” Dec doesn’t move. Can’t move. Those boxers aren’t hiding anything.
“Three more sleeps!” He screeches to a stop, breathless, and looks between us. “I want some Coco Pops.”
“You’d like some Coco Pops, please,” Dec says, correcting him. “Father Christmas doesn’t visit children who don’t have any manners.” He frowns to himself, peeking down his front, and I chuckle as Albi climbs up onto a stool next to me.
“Why are you laughing, please?” he asks.
“Daddy’s making me laugh.”
“Why, please?”
“It doesn’t matter.” I pat his hand and Dec inches his way along the island, bending and pulling out a bowl before shuffling back and sliding it in front of Albi.
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“Welcome. Juice?”
“Yes, please and thank you.”
Dec spins and goes to the fridge. “Camryn?”
“I’ve had some,” I murmur, licking my lips, tasting the orange. “But I’ll take a coffee.”
“Please,” Albi adds.
“Please,” I say around my smile.
Dec looks over his shoulder, his gaze full of playfulness as he takes a step back and slides the juice onto the counter before going to the coffee machine, keeping his back to us.
Albi hops back down from the stool and goes to the larder cupboard, heaving it open and reaching up on his tippy-toes to get the Coco Pops, tired of waiting for Dec.
“Thank you,” he says, closing the cupboard and going to the fridge, pulling out the milk and closing the door again by backing into it, his hands full.
“Thank you.” He comes back to the island, dumps his finds next to his bowl and goes to the drawer to get a spoon.
“Thank you,” he says to the drawer as he closes it.
I watch him, smiling, feeling Dec watching him too as he climbs back up onto the stool and tips his Coco Pops into the bowl.
“Thank you.” Then he pours the milk, spilling more onto the counter than he gets in the bowl.
“Thank you.” A big scoop with his spoon loads it, and he shovels it into his mouth.
“Thank you,” he mumbles around his mouthful.
I chuckle to myself as Dec, finally with the tent he was sporting deflated, brings my coffee over and rests his forearms on the counter. “That good, fella?”
“Yes, thank you.” Albi spoons another pile of the chocolatey cereal into his mouth. “Thank you,” he says to the spoon.
I can’t cope. I snort into my cup as I take a sip, and Dec shakes his head, retrieving his phone off the side and checking it. “What are we doing today?”
“Ice skating!” Albi chants. “Please.”
Oh, I thought we’d escaped that. Dec grabs a loaf of bread out of the cupboard and fills the toaster, throwing me a pained face.
“Please can Mr. Percival come?” Albi asks. “Thank you.”
“Mr. Percival?” I laugh. “He can hardly walk, Albi.”
“I want to visit Mr. Percival again, thank you. Can we go see him after ice skating, thank you? He’s ninety-nine, Daddy!
Thank you. Nearly a whole hundred! Please.
That’s a really big number, Daddy. Thank you.
I’m only four and a half! Please. Mr. Percival said he flew in a Spitfire.
” Albi pushes his feet into the footrest on the stool and uses it to stand, leaning over the island to reach for Dec’s phone.
“Let me show you what a Spitfire looks like Daddy, please. Type Spitfire into Google.” He stretches.
Slips.
“Albi!” I dive across and grab his arm before he plummets to the hard floor, and despite saving him, I don’t manage to save his breakfast, which goes flying across the island, Coco Pops and chocolate milk spraying everywhere.
“Oopsie Daisy!” Albi sings. “Please.”
“Christ, you frightened me.” I stand and lift him back onto the stool, kissing the top of his head as I hold it with a palm either side, surely squishing his lips. “Don’t move your butt off this stool.”
“Good catch,” Dec says, shaking his head, his hand resting on his chest to ease his racing heart. “When you’re on the stool, your little backside stays on the stool.”
“Thank you,” Albi murmurs sullenly.
“Albi, you don’t have to say please or thank you with everything you say,” I tell him, smiling fondly. “Just if someone gives you something, or you ask for something.”
“But it’s good manners.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I show the ceiling my palms as Dec rounds the island and comes up behind me, dropping a kiss on my cheek before disappearing into the laundry room, returning a second later with a Vax.