Chapter 23 Kelcie
Kelcie
I’ve resorted to making a pros and cons list, and as I stare at what I’ve written under each column, I scrunch my nose because this isn’t working.
With every passing day since I last saw Levi, it feels as if a fist is closing tighter and tighter around my heart. When everything is said and done, I still love him, and I don’t know what that makes me. A lovestruck fool?
It’s been almost two weeks since I called him, and things haven’t gotten any better. I miss him so much, and even though I know what he did was wrong, I just can’t stop thinking about the time we spent together and the huge difference he’s made in my life.
I’m a mess, and realizing I’m not going to come to any kind of decision by hiding at Jordan’s house, I let out a sigh. I have to return to Verona. Maybe when I see Levi again, I’ll be able to find some clarity.
Leaving the bedroom, I find Jordan and Brady in the living room where they’re playing with building blocks. Natalie is taking a long, relaxing bath before dinner.
“Hi,” I say while I sit down on one of the couches.
“Hey.” Jordan glances at me before turning his attention back to his son.
“I think it’s time for me to go home.”
My brother’s head snaps up, surprise flashing over his face. “Are you sure?”
I nod, then explain, “I need to talk face-to-face with Levi. Hiding here isn’t going to solve the problem.”
“I can take you back tomorrow.”
I shake my head. “I’ll take the bus.”
Instantly, Jordan frowns. “The bus is easily a five-to-six-hour drive with all the stops, instead of just two and a half! Let me take you.”
I stand up, and moving closer to him, I give his shoulder a squeeze. “I want to take the bus.”
“When are you leaving?” Jordan asks.
“Tomorrow morning.” I walk toward the kitchen. “So tonight I’m making dinner as a way to say thank you for letting me invade your space the past three weeks.”
“Can you still make those crispy roasted potatoes the way Mom showed you?” Jordan gets up and comes to sit at the island where he can talk to me and still keep an eye on Brady.
My heart clenches as I answer, “I can try to make them, but I don’t promise they’ll be as good.”
I grab two knives and the bag of potatoes, and while we peel them, Jordan glances at me. “Which way are you leaning? Break up or try again?”
I keep my gaze trained on the potato skins. “Would I be an idiot to give him another chance?”
“No.” Jordan leans to the side to get me to look at him, and when I do, he says, “You do what’s right for you, Kelcie.
You’ve suffered so much the past year and a half.
If being with Levi makes you happy, then try to see if you can forgive him.
Maybe start from scratch.” He sucks in a deep breath before he adds, “Levi never meant you any harm, and he’s not responsible for what his half brother did.
As for him not telling you his true reasons for being in Verona?
I can understand why he hid it from you.
Neither of us would’ve given him the time of day if he had walked up to us and introduced himself as Porter’s brother. ”
“I had that same thought,” I admit, letting out a sigh. “We’ll see what happens when I talk to Levi again.”
Jordan sets down his knife and gets up from the stool.
“Hey, where are you going? We’re still peeling potatoes,” I say.
“Nope. You’re peeling potatoes.” He shoots me a playful grin. “I’m going to lie down on the couch and watch an episode of Storage Hunters.”
The corner of my mouth lifts, but as I continue to get everything ready for dinner, the worry that’s been my constant companion the past three weeks slithers through my mind.
What if this is something Levi and I can’t come back from, and things are really over between us?
When the cab I took from the bus station pulls up to my place, I immediately look toward Levi’s house. Seeing a realtor’s sign with the word Sold in big, bold red letters across it, shock shudders through me.
No. Levi sold his house?
I’ve only been gone three weeks! How did he sell so fast?
After settling my cab fare, I hurry to climb out of the car and haul my luggage out of the back seat. Leaving the bag in my driveway, I quickly jog to Levi’s front door.
I had hoped to take a shower so I could wash off the grimy feel of sitting on a bus for five and a half hours before going over to talk to Levi.
The Sold sign has me feeling completely rattled as I ring the doorbell. I listen closely for Lick’s bark, but when I don’t hear anything and Levi doesn’t open, I try knocking.
“Kelcie.” Hearing Jill call me, I glance in her direction. “You’re back.” She rushes toward me and hugs me hard. “My God, I heard about what happened. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just took some time away from Verona to process everything.”
Jill looks at Levi’s front door, then says, “Levi left the same day as you, and no one has seen him since. A few days later, the For Sale sign went up, and it sold for next to nothing last week. Even I was tempted to buy it, but I’m not ready for that kind of commitment.
Yesterday, a moving truck came, and they emptied out the house.
” She pauses to take a breath before adding, “I think a newly married couple bought the place.”
“No one’s seen Levi in town?” I ask to make sure I heard right.
“No. He probably moved to a new place where no one knows who he is.” She glares at the Adamses’ house, and we see the drapes move.
“Mrs. Adams is probably being nosy and watching us,” Jill mutters. “Let’s go inside.”
As we walk to where my luggage is standing, I’m still a little in shock. I shouldn’t be surprised Levi decided to move, but the fact that he didn’t even mention it to me during our call two weeks ago makes me worry even more.
“Ahh . . .” I take hold of my bag’s handle and give Jill a rueful smile. “I’ve just spent the past five and a half hours on the road. Can we catch up another day?”
“Oh yeah. Of course.”
I dig my house keys out of my bag, and while I walk to the front door and unlock it, I wonder if Levi went back to Grand Rapids.
God, Levi probably couldn’t get away from Verona quickly enough. I don’t blame him. This town hasn’t been kind to him.
After I shut the door behind me, I glance over the living room and kitchen. The place feels empty.
Letting out a sigh, I search for my phone in my handbag, and when I find it, I drop the bag on the kitchen counter before preparing a cup of tea for myself. While the tea bag soaks a little, I send Jordan a quick text to let him know I’m back home so that he won’t worry.
After taking a much-needed sip of my tea, I open the chat I share with Levi.
Kelcie: Hi. I know it’s been a while, but I just got back to Verona and see you’ve sold your house. It was a bit of a shock. Anyway, I hope you’re doing okay. If you’ve got a minute, shoot me a text. I’d love to talk.
I read the message a few times before I press send. I watch as one tick appears, and when a minute passes and there’s no second tick to show it’s been delivered, I scowl at the device in my hand.
Be patient, Kelcie.
I walk to the living room and put my phone on charge before grabbing my luggage and dragging it up the stairs.
The empty bedrooms on the second floor make me feel lonely, and for the first time since the attack, I think about moving back to my parents’ house. At some point, I’ll have to gather the courage.
But that day is not today.
I grab a fresh set of clothes from the closet in the main bedroom and head into the en suite bathroom.
Switching on the faucets so the water can warm up, I get undressed.
When I step beneath the spray, my thoughts revolve around Levi and the fact that he’s sold his house.
There’s a sad pang in my chest because we’ve had so many happy memories within those walls.
What if Levi gave up because he didn’t hear from me again after our call?
God, what if he’s done with us and decided to build a new life for himself?
Panic floods my veins, and my heartbeat speeds up.
Don’t overreact yet. Talk to Levi before you jump to conclusions.
I hurry through my shower routine, and after getting dressed, I brush my teeth and hair before rushing out of the bathroom and heading downstairs.
When I grab my phone and enter the chat, I see the text still hasn’t gone through. I press dial on Levi’s number and nervously wait for the call to connect.
Only it doesn’t, and I get his voicemail instead.
‘You’ve reached Levi. You know what to do.’
“Hi. It’s Kelcie. Um . . . can you give me a call when you get this message? Ahh . . . thanks.”
As I lower the phone from my ear, fear coils around my heart.
Levi sold his house, and his phone is off.
What if he’s cut all contact?
Since the day I found out he’s related to Wesley, I’ve tried to imagine a life without Levi. Not once did it hurt as much as it does right now, because I never really believed it was over between us.
Deep down, I knew I’d come back to him.
I realize I was never going to break up with Levi. I just needed time to process everything.
But what if the choice isn’t mine? I never considered that Levi would want to end the relationship.
I slump down on the couch and go back into the chat, willing that second tick to appear.
When I lost my parents and Sage, I thought I’d never recover. Then Levi came along, and he made life worth living again.
If I’ve lost him . . .
No.
I begin to shake my head as my face crumples.
I won’t survive losing him. I can’t even begin to imagine a life where I’m not with him.
Out of sheer desperation, I call his number again, and when it goes straight to voicemail once more, I wait for the beep.
“Levi, it’s me again. I don’t know if you’ll get this message, but if you do, please .
. .” My voice cracks and I have to swallow hard on the tears threatening to fall.
“. . . please call me back.” My breaths start coming too fast. “Don’t .
. . just . . .” A sob bursts from me as more fear pours into my chest, and a panic attack hits hard, making it next to impossible for me to get air into my lungs.