29. Chapter 29
Chapter twenty-nine
Ivy
The Mason Jar transforms from a quiet little café to a full-blown honky tonk once the clock strikes eight. The large room in the back is cleared of tables to make room for the dance floor, and the corner stage now houses a live band. As soon as we are inside, Dakota makes a beeline for the bar, while I follow Laiken to the other side of the room to snag a table. Cooper, Maddox, and Clyde are already sitting at a bar top table with a pitcher of beer and a couple of barflies lingering behind them. I recognize one from high school. Seems she never grew out of the desperation stage. Laiken hops up on the seat next to her brother, while I sit by Cooper, trying to avoid any accidental eye contact with the man across from me.
“Where’s Ryder?” I ask as Cooper pours me a beer.
“He doesn’t go out.” He hands me the glass.
“What do you mean?” I frown.
“I mean, he rarely leaves the ranch unless it’s for work purposes or to eat. He’s practically a hermit.”
A part of me feels for Ryder. I know he’s still tore up over what happened eight years ago, but I figured he’d have at least moved on by now.
“That’s sad.” I sip my beer, scanning the crowd to see so many familiar faces.
When my eyes land on the bar, Dakota already has a tall cowboy leaning down into her space, a huge smile on his face. The poor sap will no doubt be buying her drinks tonight. She was an expert in harmless flirtation, and she did it well. Typically, it always ended up benefiting the whole group, so I had no objections to her antics. Except when I would catch the flash of hurt on Cooper’s face. Like I just saw now. It’s gone as quick as it came, and I watch Allison, one of the girls begging for anyone to give her a hint of attention, slip up next to him and whisper in his hear. She giggles as he stands, tugging her to the dance floor.
I glance at Laiken, who already has her phone out. “Laik. Trace is fine.”
“I know.” Her fingers move across her screen. “I’m just checking in. This is Hannah’s first time babysitting.”
Bless her mama heart. I hate that she feels guilty for having some time to herself. She deserves it more than anyone.
“Well look who decided to crawl out of his cabin?” I almost flinch at the sound of Brady’s voice behind me.
Maddox lifts his beer in salute, before knocking back a drink.
Does he normally not go out either?
I feel Brady’s hands land on my shoulders, squeezing lightly before he says. “Let me buy you a drink.”
I pick up my glass. “I've got one but thank you.”
“Ah, come on Ivy. It’s the least I can do.” He winks.
When he heads to the bar, I take a chance on flickering my eyes across the table. I should have known better, because as soon as I did, a slender arm wraps around Maddox’s neck, and my heart drops to the floor.
Two hours. Two whole hours I’ve had to endure watching Emily O’Connor flirt, dance, and practically grope Maddox on the dance floor. Memories from the night he shattered my heart into a million pieces plague my brain as I try to keep myself busy. I did everything in my power to avoid ending up in the crowd with Brady, but after the fourth time he asked for a dance, and when he didn’t give me the opportunity to deny him, I let him lead me to the center of the floor.
“It’s been a long time since we danced.” He grins down at me, his hand sliding down to rest at my lower back.
“It has.” I nod, swaying to the Zach Top song the band just started. “So, a fireman?” I ask.
He laughs, his eyes radiating pride before he speaks. “Yeah. I was in a bad way for a while there. Made a lot of mistakes.” He swallows, meeting my eyes. “I wanted to do better.”
I’m happy for him. Truly. I only ever wanted the best for Brady. We may not have been meant to be in a romantic aspect, but he was my friend. And I was rooting for him.
“I’m proud of you,” I tell him. “It’s an honorable job.”
His hand slides up my back, the feeling leaving no tingles or any other reaction like it does when Maddox touches me. I immediately hate myself for the comparison.
“It’s tough some days, but I feel like I’m finally on the right track. I’ve been trying harder with Maddox too,” he admits.
They were working things out. Rebuilding their relationship. My heart squeezes at the thought, and my eyes involuntarily seek him out.
Peering over Brady’s shoulder, I find Maddox across the dance floor, swaying similarly with Emily strapped to his chest.
It hurts.
Man, does it fucking hurt.
I thought four years was enough time. I was clearly wrong.
I wait for his searing gaze to turn back to her, but it doesn’t lower to his dance partner. No, those hazel eyes remain pinned on me.
No words. We never really needed any. I could feel him with one look. His frustration. His heat. Tonight, it mirrored mine.
The song finally slows, and I pull away from Brady. “I’ll be right back.”
I maneuver past an older couple bickering, then squeeze by my brother who’s dancing with Allison but clearly watching Dakota from across the room. His glare is unmistakable as her laugh reaches the dance floor. I’m almost free from the crowd when I feel a familiar set of hands slide over my hips.
“Dance with me, Goldie.” Maddox’s whisper sends chills racing down my spine, and I swallow as he pulls me into his hold.
My eyes scan for Emily as I turn, letting his palm splay across my back. Our hands join, and his thumb slowly glides back and forth along my skin as we begin to move to the new song.
“You remember the last time we danced?” He asks, his voice a whisper against my temple.
If I close my eyes I can see it clearly. The way the moonlight shined over the ridge. The way he held me. Just like this.
“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “You taught me how to half step.”
He changes our direction, spinning us to an area of the dance floor that’s less populated.
“You seem upset.”
I shake my head, my eyes still scanning the crowd. Like every single person here will see right through me if they look our way. Like they’ll see my feelings are still controlled by this man who has no idea what he does to me. That he even still affects me.
“Not upset.” I say, smiling at Penelope as she walks by. I offer a light tone. “You watching me, Shep?”
He frowns at the name. I’ve never called him Shep. “I know you,” he murmurs, his lips brushing over my forehead. “For one, you never call me Shep," he says the words with a scoff.
“No, you don’t know me.” I bite back before he grips my hand, then uses his palm to push against my hip, spinning me out in front of him.
When he tugs, I’m surged back into his chest, his eyes casting down on me from underneath his hat.
“Bullshit.” I gaze up at him as we stand frozen on the dance floor. The music is still playing, the dancers still in motion. Everyone is moving but us. “I know you. I know every fucking thing about you.”
“Not anymore.” I intended for the words to come out strong and confident, but it comes out weak and truth-less.
I can feel his hand slide from my lower back, up to the nape of my neck. His fingertips glide into my hair at the base, and he grips it lightly. With a slight readjustment, he tilts my head back, so I have nowhere to look but at his handsome face. It’s taunting. Teasing, and I’m both angry and aroused as he peers down at me.
“I have one question” His voice his husky, his eyes hooded. He leans down, and I damn near moan when his lips brush the outside of my ear. “There a reason why you wore this dress tonight?” The hand that’s in my hair loosens, and when the band cuts the song, he releases me.
My chest is heaving, my panties damp, and judging from the look in his eyes, he knows. Bastard. Instead of responding, I duck through the crowd and pray that he doesn’t follow.
Slipping to the restroom, I lock myself in a stall and lower to the toilet. My hands go to my hair, my eyes closing as I reel in my breathing. This was one of the reasons I left. How could I spend the rest of my life watching him with someone else? Watching him get married. Have a family. Love someone else. Someone I can never be.
A lump forms in my throat, but I push it down. This only solidifies that as soon as we get everything handled with the ranch, I’ll be back on the road to Georgia. Where I don’t have to feel this shitty halo of circumstances hanging over my head all the time.
Stepping out of the stall, I quickly check my makeup before the door swings open and Emily steps in. She smiles, her long brown hair in waves and her jeans snug. She’s pretty. Really pretty and it sends another stab to my heart.
“So.” She grins. “Rumor has it there might be some rekindling with you and Brady?”
I snort a laugh, because despite how much I can’t stand the thought of her with Maddox, she’s never treated me dirty.
“Well, if you hear any of those rumors, you can squash them.” I fluff my hair. “That ship sailed years ago.”
“Too bad.” She whips out her lip gloss. “I was hoping we could be sister-n-laws one day.” She winks.
I feel the blood drain from my face, and without a word I spin on my boots and dart out of the bathroom.
I need to get out of here.
Now.