39. Chapter 39
Chapter thirty-nine
Ivy
“Jamie?” Maddox’s eyebrows raise. “Aiden’s Jamie?”
“Yeah.” I nod. “I don’t want to go into details. But I walked up on something I wasn’t supposed to see. They saw me. My dad was crying. She was too. They both swore to me it was over.”
He takes off his cap, placing it on the table. “Fuck, Ivy.”
“He said it went on for a month. That they ended it, and he asked me not to tell my mother because it would break her heart. That it also involved Aiden and Wylie, and it would only make the situation worse on everyone.” Even saying the words cause the memories to flood back. The ones I tried so hard to forget.
“I saw her kiss him,” I whisper. “I hated him.”
He leans forward, capturing my hand in his. “When did this happen?”
“The trail ride. The same night I came and…well. Emily was there and...” I trial off, not feeling like reliving that conversation again either.
Recognition appears in his eyes, and he closes them before cursing under his breath. “That’s why you came to me?” I nod, while his thumb caresses my knuckles. “And I fucking pushed you away.”
“It was for the best.” I pull my hand away.
“The best?” He scoffs before he forces himself back from the table to stand. “How was what I did to you for the best, Ivy?”
“It turned out alright. I went to Georgia. Graduated college.” I stand from my chair to match his stance.
“But you left!” His voice raises. “You left because of me?”
“No. I didn’t.”
“Don’t lie to me.” He’s around the table now, his fingers lifting my chin to look into his eyes.
I count the seconds, preparing to admit yet another one of my truths. “I left because I couldn’t look my mother in the eyes without guilt crushing my chest. I couldn’t look at my father without resent clouding my brain, and I couldn’t see Aiden walking on this ranch every day not having a clue what his wife did to him. I couldn’t look at Jamie because every time I did, I wanted to strangle her.” I take a deep breath just as his hand slides around to grip the nape of my neck. “And when I saw Emily with you.” His forehead leans down to mine. “I couldn’t bear the thought of staying here to watch you fall in love with her.” My voice cracks. “I know that doesn’t sound fair. I was with Brady for years. But you didn’t feel the same way about me. So, I ran.”
Taking another deep breath, I roll my shoulders back. “I know that makes me a coward, but it’s how I dealt with it.”
“You’re not the one who’s a coward, Ivy.” His jaw clenches and I’m not sure if he’s referring to himself or my dad right now.
I take my seat again, and he takes his. “Can we just eat now? That was a lot to unload.”
With a simple nod he grabs his fork, and we spend the next fifteen minutes in silence, while I process the fact that I just told my father’s secret.
After we finished, Maddox left the kitchen. I don't blame him considering the grenade I just launched on a random Saturday. I know he cared for my dad, respected him, and Aiden is his friend. I trash the food boxes and wipe down the table before I head to the hallway with a plan to curl up in my bed and rewatch episodes of Heartland. When I pass Maddox’s room, the door is ajar, and I glance through the opening as I walk by. Something catches my eyes that's lying on his nightstand. I press my palm to the door, tiptoeing in before I confirm that I hear the shower running behind the bathroom door across the hall. My bare feet carry me across his bedroom. His scent wrapping around me the farther I explore. When I get right up to the small wooden table, I peer down at the picture. Its half burned, but through the dirt and the ash I can see a smiling face. Mine. I pick it up, recognizing the picture my mother had framed in our old living room. I press my palm to my heart. He must have gotten it from the ruble. He found my picture. And kept it.
My legs are moving before my mind can catch up. My hand tentatively hovers over the doorknob to the bathroom before I throw out my insecurities and yank it open. My eyes land on a very wet and very naked Maddox. He's facing away from me, and even through the trickles of water filling the clear glass, I can see the vigorous muscles of his back. My heavy eyes trace over the curve of his firm ass, and down his thick legs. My core pulses and I grip the picture tighter in my hand. Is he even real?
My feet slide across the threshold, my heart nearly in my throat as I rip open the shower door next. Maddox doesn’t even flinch. He uses both hands to run them through his hair after he dips his head beneath the spray. His wet ends curl and I completely stop breathing when he turns to face me, those hypnotizing eyes locking me in place. I drag my gaze down his chest, across his abdomen, then lower, where his steel cock twitches under my gaze. I’ve pictured Maddox Sheppard naked a thousand times. Even that night in the barn, our clothes didn’t come off. But this. This version is beyond what my imagination could conjure.
“Goldie.” The word is barely a whisper. Almost a plea as my eyes lock back on his.
Two beats. Two heartbeats, then he’s reaching for my wrist and dragging me into the shower. Sweatpants and all.