45. Chapter 45
Chapter forty-five
Ivy
I stretch my arms over my head, my eyes growing blurry as I blink at the Excel sheet on my computer screen. Maddox was still gone when I got back to the cabin, so I decided to do some actual work. Merit had been so accommodating, and I couldn’t let this cluster keep me from helping her. After all, it’s only us two in the shop.
The lock clicks across the room, and I glance at the clock, seeing it’s almost nine. Maddox enters, his hat coming off before he places it on the rack.
“Hey,” I say, sitting my laptop on the coffee table.
“Hey,” he responds as he walks across the room.
His eyes look tired, and he sighs deeply before stepping up behind me on the sofa. He leans down, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head, holding it there for a few beats too long, causing my heart to slowly start to enter into the realm of panic. I don’t like how quiet he is, or how he walks silently over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water.
“Everything ok?” I ask, standing up on my bare feet.
It could be old feelings. Old worries slithering up my throat, causing the air in my lungs to falter.
He regrets it.
He gulps the whole bottle down before he finally meets my eyes. “We should talk.”
Dread pools in my stomach and I swallow thickly. “Ok. About?”
“This.” He motions between us.
I nod, leaning back to rest against the counter, all the way across the kitchen. Space is good. If he tells me that it was a mistake again, I won’t have to smell his cologne.
He runs his thumb over his bottom lip before he speaks. “Have you forgiven him?”
I frown. “Forgiven who?”
“Brady.”
I wasn’t expecting that. Have I forgiven Brady? Yes. I did a long time ago. His actions don’t hurt me anymore. Besides, what we have is an old friendship. It’s childhood. It’s not love.
“Yes. I have,” I answer honestly.
He shoves both hands into the pockets of his jeans. “And if he asked you for another chance?”
“Where is this coming from?” I ask.
“We had drinks tonight.” He shrugs. “He said some things.”
I tilt my head to the side. “Maddox, Brady and I have been over for a long time. Even that last year, we both knew what it was. It wasn’t love. It was comfort. It was honestly, on my end, obligation. I felt like I would be kicking him while he was down after your dad passed. I loved him. But almost in the way I love Cooper or Ryder.” I push off the counter. “So, no. There will never be a second chance. Not for him.”
I can see the quick flash of relief cross his eyes after he huffs out a breath. “Ivy, I understand if you want to see if there’s anything left. I wouldn’t stand in your way if that’s what you really wanted. I want you to be happy.”
Stepping right up to him, I place my finger over his parted lips. “Stop.”
It’s almost amusing to see the way his eyes bounce over my face. He looks terrified.
“There’s nothing there. There can’t be because my heart isn’t available for him.”
My hands reach out to land on his broad shoulders, and he removes his hands from his pockets.
“It’s just…I know you two have a history." His eyes veer from mine, and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen Maddox show any form of insecurity.
I push up on my toes, pressing a kiss on his stubbled jaw. “You have no idea how long I’ve been yours? Do you?”
Rough palms slide into my hair, and he tilts my head back. “Can you say that again, Goldie?”
“Which part?” I smile.
“The part where you say you’re mine,” he rasps.
“I’m yours,” I repeat.
He drops his lips to mine in a soft kiss before he pulls away too soon.
“Can I be really honest with you here?” He asks.
I search those hazel depths and take a deep breath. “Yeah.”
“I’m fucking petrified. Of this. Of how you make me feel.” His hands shift, sliding down to my nape. “I’ve fought it for so long, and I’m just now in a place where me and my brother can have a conversation that doesn’t end with him taking a swing. I’m scared this will be what destroys us. That he’ll never forgive me.” His forehead presses to mine. “I know you have a life in Georgia. I know you are only here temporarily. But despite all of those things…” He pulls back. “I can’t stay away. Not anymore.”
Cupping his jaw, tears fill my eyes. “I’m scared too. I would never want to be the thing that fractures your relationship with your family.” He slips his hand down to link his fingers with mine. “But I’ve loved you since I was eighteen years old, and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to make this feeling in my chest go away. I’ve tried,” I admit. “God, did I try. I fled the state for God’s sake.” I laugh, but it comes out a sob. “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I whisper. “But I’m tired of hurting.”
His eyes are wide as he backs away from me and I watch his expression change from shock to maybe…. awe. I can physically feel the heat infiltrate my cheeks as I realize what I just did.
I just told Maddox that I loved him.
Shit.
“I’m sorry.” I move to pull my hand from his.
God, what was I thinking? It’s too soon. He’s not ready. But he grips tighter, tugging me into his chest as his lips crash on mine. His kiss is deep, his heart pouring out with each movement. Soft lips melt to mine, and when he places a gentle peck on the corner of my mouth, he cranes his neck back to look down into my eyes.
“I love you too," he says.
Then he smiles.
Really smiles.
“Damn it, Ivy. I love you.”
I can’t help my own smile, but before I can say another word, he dips down, slinging me over his shoulder, and strides toward the bedroom.