Chapter 12 #2
“I don’t know, really,” I said. “I haven’t given him any of it to read. It’s kind of personal, you know?”
“Too personal for your boyfriend?” Sam asked, smirking.
“You know what I mean.” I kicked him. “I’ll share one with him at some point, but it’s scary to have other people read your work.”
“But it’s not scary when I read them?” He looked up at me from under his lashes.
“Well, when you read them in front of me, it is,” I evaded. “But no, I trust you.” Sam seemed satisfied with that answer.
“So other than the fact that he’s nice, what do you like about him?” It wasn’t a snarky question. He seemed genuinely curious. I twisted the embroidered bracelet around my wrist.
“He likes me back,” I said truthfully, and Sam didn’t ask any more questions after that.
EVERY NOW AND then I’d learn something about Charlie that threw my entire perception of him into question.
He was driving around in a trusty old blue pickup truck that his grandfather had handed down to him “on account of my excellent grades,” he explained.
I’d laughed, when he’d told me, assuming he was joking, but his dimples vanished.
I frowned. “Full academic scholarship and everything,” he said. “Don’t look so shocked.”
He still preferred to take the Banana Boat in to work. “I like feeling the wind on me after spending the night in that hellhole,” he explained. “Besides,” he continued with a wink, “the boat is more convenient for post-shift skinny-dipping.” And that was the Charlie I knew.
Jumping in the lake butt naked after our shifts had become a ritual.
I assumed Sue knew what was going on—we weren’t exactly quiet—and my parents had seen me walk into the cottage with a towel wrapped around me and my work clothes in my fist, but no one seemed to care too much.
I caught bits and pieces of body parts, and that wasn’t always by accident, but mostly it was an innocent way to blow off steam.
Charlie’s latest fling, Anita, joined us on occasion. She was a bit older and had a cottage further down on the lake, but her presence did nothing to stop Charlie from crossing any and every line he could.
We were swimming after a Thursday shift. Charlie and Anita drank beers standing in the water by the end of the dock, whispering and laughing and kissing, while Sam and I floated on pool noodles further out.
“Don’t you think Percy’s a knockout?” Charlie asked loud enough for us to hear.
“I already told you that I do,” Anita giggled. I could see the tops of her small breasts peeking out from the water and felt my face heat.
“Right, I must have forgotten,” Charlie said to her with a kiss on her cheek.
“I’ll bet,” Sam laughed, but I felt uneasy. It seemed like Charlie was working up to something. I inched toward Sam and my foot kicked his leg, startling him. We were close enough now that I could see the way his chest glowed milky white under the water.
“You know, Pers,” Charlie drawled, “Anita and I both think you’re hot. Maybe you should join us sometime.”
My mouth dropped open, and I felt Sam’s foot wrap around my ankle.
“Leave her alone, Charlie,” Anita scolded. “You’re freaking her out.”
“I have a boyfriend,” I replied, trying to sound bored but bracing myself. It didn’t seem like Charlie had hit the punch line yet.
“Oh, that’s right,” Charlie replied. “Some rich guy. Sam told me. It’s too bad, though I’m not surprised. A beautiful, smart, funny girl like yourself, who not to mention grew quite the rack last year.”
“Charlie,” Sam warned.
“What? It’s true. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed, Samuel,” he went on. “Seriously, Pers, I can’t imagine that any guy wouldn’t be falling over himself to be with you.” Bull’s-eye.
“Fuck you, Charlie,” Sam said, but his brother was whispering something to Anita, who was looking in my direction and making a sad awww noise.
“Oh my god.” I hadn’t realized the words had left my mouth until I noticed Sam staring at me.
“You okay?” he whispered, but I didn’t reply. Charlie and Anita were climbing out of the water, neither of them in any hurry to cover themselves with a towel.
“We’ll be in the basement,” Charlie called out as they headed up. “Offer still stands, Pers.”
“Percy?” Sam prodded me with his foot. “I’m sorry. That was far, even for Charlie.”
“You told him?” I whispered. “About last summer?” I swallowed back the lump in my throat and faced Sam, not caring about how much of me he could or couldn’t see.
“Yeah, not about all of it. But he sort of cornered me after Christmas Eve at your place, after he heard you talking about Mason and the bracelet.”
“Great. It wasn’t enough to be rejected the first time around, now your brother and Anita know, too.” I sucked in my breath, feeling the nettle sting of tears.
“I’m sorry, Percy. I didn’t think he’d ever bring it up. You don’t need to be embarrassed—my brother thinks I’m the idiot in this scenario.” I looked up at the stars, and he wrapped both his legs around mine, drawing me closer.
“Hey,” he whispered, putting one of his hands on my waist. I went stiff.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I just really want to hold you,” he said, his voice strained. “I hate that he upset you.” We floated there for a moment before he spoke again. “Can I?” There were a million reasons I should say no, or at least two good ones: I had a boyfriend, and that boyfriend was not Sam.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Come here,” he said. We swam closer to shore to a spot hidden from the view of his house, standing where the water came up to the middle of his chest and my shoulders.
We faced each other, maybe a foot apart until Sam stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me.
He was warm and slippery, and I could feel his heart beat in impatient thumps against my chest.
“Charlie’s right, you know,” he said. “You are beautiful and smart and funny.” I curled myself against him more tightly. His hands slid up and down my back, and he whispered, “And any guy would fall over himself to have you.”
“Not you,” I said.
“That’s not true,” he rasped. He bent down and leaned his forehead against mine, cupping my face with his hands.
“You’re driving me crazy,” he said. I closed my eyes. Ice dripped down my spine as a fire blazed in my middle. I loved Sam, but this wasn’t fair. Maybe he didn’t know what he wanted, didn’t know how cruel he was being, but I couldn’t let myself be played with while he figured it out.
“You’re confusing me,” I said and pushed him away. “I should go home.”
I BARELY SLEPT. Sam let me go home without a word of protest—without any words, actually.
Shortly after two a.m., I pulled out the notebook he’d given me for my fifteenth birthday, with the inscription For your next brilliant story, turned to one of the empty pages and wrote, Sam Florek is a fucking lunatic, before I started to cry hot, angry tears.
I had spent the past year trying to move on, and I thought I had moved on. Was I kidding myself?
Sam didn’t say anything when he came by after his run. We barely said more than a word to each other that morning. It wasn’t until I cut my swim short and climbed up on the raft to maybe take a nap that he spoke up.
“I’m sorry about last night.” He was sitting next to me, his feet in the water. What part of it was he sorry for, exactly? Was he sorry for almost kissing me? Sorry for jerking me around?
“Okay,” I said, keeping my eyes closed and my cheek pressed to the warm wood, rage coiling up from my toes.
“I know you have a boyfriend, and it was a dick move,” he continued. He didn’t get it. I pushed myself up to sit beside him. His face was full of apology.
“Whether I have a boyfriend or not is for me to worry about, not you,” I sneered. “What you need to think about, Sam, is how your actions are in complete contrast to your words.”
He took a deep breath. “You’re right, Percy.” He lowered his face so that our eyes were level. “You said I was confusing you, and I’m sorry for that. Can we just go back to how things were?”
“I don’t know? Can you?” My voice went up an octave.
“Because I’ve spent the past year acting like things are normal between us.
You didn’t want me, and that’s fine. I’m seeing someone.
I’ve pretended that nothing happened between us, because that’s what you wanted.
And I think I’ve done a pretty great job.
” I stood up before he could respond. “I’m going to go home.
I didn’t get much sleep last night, and I need to take a nap before work tonight.
I’ll see you then, okay?” I dove off the raft and swam toward shore without waiting for a goodbye.
There were ominous-looking clouds in the sky by late afternoon, so Charlie and Sam picked me up in the truck. I squeezed into my usual spot between them, in no mood to make small talk with either one.
“Think any more about that offer, Pers?” Charlie asked with a dimpled smile, his vision locked on Sam.
“You know what, Charlie?” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Screw you. You want to piss off Sam, that’s fine. But leave me the hell out of it. You’re too old for this shit!” Charlie blinked at me.
“I was just joking around,” he mumbled.
“I know!” I cried, hitting my hands against my thighs. “And I’m sick of it.”
“Okay, okay. I hear you,” he said. “I’ll be good.” He pulled the truck out of the driveway, and none of us spoke the rest of the ride.
IT WAS RAINING the next morning when Sam showed up at the cottage dressed in his running gear and dripping wet.
“Sam, you look like you’ve been drowned,” my dad bellowed when he opened the door for him. Sam’s shirt was plastered to his body, emphasizing the muscles in his chest and stomach. He looked good for a drowning victim. It pissed me off. “Wait here, I’ll get you a towel,” Dad said.
“You better get him a change of clothes, too,” Mom called from the couch. Dad tossed him a bath sheet and headed upstairs to find something dry for Sam to wear.