Chapter 10 #2
Before I could sink too far into my thoughts, I heard the kitchen cupboard close and the scrape of a pan being set aside. Then footsteps, measured and unhurried, followed by the weight of the sofa dipping beside me.
I barely had time to look up before Marcus straddled my lap. His knees pressed into the cushions on either side of me, and his hands braced around me against the back of the sofa. I froze, more out of surprise than anything else.
His lips curled into an amused smile. "You know what," he murmured, his voice low, "dinner can wait."
Then he kissed me.
It wasn't soft this time. Not teasing. His mouth pressed hard against mine, his fingers sliding into my hair again and holding me in place. His body leaned in, all heat and intent as the kiss deepened.
A small sound slipped from me. Startled at first, but it faded quickly. My anxiety started to fade, and my hands moved instinctively to his chest.
He pressed closer until I felt him solidly against me. His free hand slid down slowly, his fingers slipping beneath my shirt as he kissed me deeper. My head tilted back on instinct to give him more room, and my breath caught when his mouth dropped to the side of my neck.
A fresh heat bloomed in my chest and spread fast as his teeth grazed just below my jaw. Whatever thoughts had still been in my head scattered, blurred by the press of his lips, the warmth of his hands, the way he knew exactly where to touch.
My fingers gripped his shirt to hold myself steady.
I let out a slow breath, already slipping further under as he murmured something against my neck that I didn't quite catch.
The hand in my hair drifted slightly. His thumb trailed behind my ear, then brushed the curve of my neck, and it made me shudder.
I didn't even notice how much space he'd taken up until he finally pulled back just a little bit. His lips barely left my skin, though. They still lingered close enough for me to feel them, like he was deciding whether to keep going or let me settle.
I swallowed.
"Not thinking so much now, are you?" he whispered, quiet and pleased.
No. I wasn't.
I couldn't really work up an answer, but Marcus didn't seem to need one. His lips brushed so lightly against my ear that I barely felt it, but it was more than enough to send another shiver through me.
"Good." He pulled me in to take my mouth in another kiss.
And I let him.
* * *
The bell above the café door chimed softly as I stepped inside. The scents of fresh coffee and pastries greeted me, and constant, quiet conversation filled the space. Somewhere behind the counter, the espresso machine hissed. It was the kind of background noise that helped me focus.
I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and joined the short queue. So far, the day had been a smooth one. Quiet, even. I'd finally hit a rhythm with work again, and with Marcus taking care of the finances, I had one less thing to juggle.
I stretched my shoulders and exhaled slowly, letting the comfort of the moment sink in. It felt good to not have to rush or overthink anything. Just coffee, maybe something sweet to take back with me. Nothing complicated.
When I reached the counter, I glanced up at the menu out of habit even though I already knew what I wanted. The barista smiled as she rang up my order and entered the total into the till. I pulled out my card and tapped it against the reader without thinking.
Declined.
I frowned and tried again.
Declined.
A dull prickle of unease worked its way up my neck. I glanced at the card and tried inserting it to use the PIN.
Declined.
The barista gave me a polite but expectant look.
My mouth felt dry. I cleared my throat and forced a quick smile as I tucked the card back into my wallet. "Sorry, I – I must've grabbed the wrong one. Just a second."
I stepped aside and pulled out my phone. It could've been the machine. Or the bank flagged something random. They did that sometimes. Or Marcus had moved funds around and forgot to tell me.
I unlocked the screen, but my thumb stopped before it hit the banking app.
He never sent me the new password. I still couldn't check it.
I didn't want to have that conversation where other people could overhear. So I slid the phone back into my pocket and left the café without my order.
By the time I got to Marcus's flat, my mind was already sorting through the possibilities. A glitch. A hold. Some notice I missed. Nothing serious. It had to be something like that.
Marcus stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a glass of wine in hand. He looked up as I walked in, and his smile softened when he saw me. "Hey. I didn't know you were coming by today."
I opened my mouth to tell him what happened at the café – but then I hesitated. The tightness in my shoulders hadn't fully eased, but the warmth of his voice, the way he immediately focused on me, made it feel almost childish to bring it up.
He set the glass aside and stepped closer. His hands slid over my arms, his touch light and familiar. "You okay?"
For a second, I forgot what I'd come to say.
And just like that, the moment passed.
I let out a breath and nodded. "Yeah. Just needed a break."
He brushed a kiss against my temple before pulling back and stepping away. This wasn't the right time to bring up the card problem. I'd do it later.
Instead, I went to sit on the sofa to catch my breath. My phone buzzed, and I glanced at the screen to find a text from Eli: I'm heading back to London this weekend. You free before then?
The unease in my chest finally loosened.
Eli had been in town for a few weeks. Much longer than he typically stays, yet somehow, we hadn't really talked during that time.
I hadn't meant to stay away quite that long.
But now that things had settled and I felt more like myself, I liked the idea of being able to see him before he left.
I heard shuffling behind me and turned to find Marcus hovering nearby. His face was calm and didn't give anything away, but his gaze dropped to my phone.
I didn't give it much thought as I started typing out a reply. "Just Elias. He's headed back soon. He wants to meet up before he leaves town."
The change in Marcus was subtle. A slight tilt of his head, the barest flick of his eyes from the screen to my face. It made me feel like I'd been caught doing something illegal. "I thought you two were taking a break."
I fidgeted in my seat, not quite sure why I felt the need to explain. "It's been a while. And my head's clearer now. It can't hurt."
"If you’re sure. I just don't want you to undo all the progress you made."
My fingers curled tighter around my phone.
"Things have been easier lately, haven't they? You're not as stressed. You're focused. I just don't want you to slip back into habits that might bog you down again."
The guilt hit fast. I wasn't going to spiral again just by seeing Eli. That wasn't fair.
His hand rested on my shoulder as he leaned over the back of the sofa. "I'm not saying to cut him off. I know he's your best friend. I just don't want you to make things harder on yourself when you've come so far."
My jaw tightened. He did have a point. I'd been feeling better, and things had been steady. If I gave in now and let Eli pull me back into all of it, I might end up right back where I started.
I sighed. "Yeah... I'll reschedule."
A pleased smile appeared on his face a little too quickly. He gave my shoulder a quick squeeze and wandered back to the kitchen.
My phone screen was still open. Eli's message sat there, waiting for an answer. Reluctantly, I deleted what I'd started and typed something else: Can't this time. Sorry.
As soon as I sent it, the guilt tugged at me again. I tried to tell myself that Eli would understand. He had his own life, his own routines. He wasn't waiting on me.
And yet, brushing him off didn't feel right.
I dropped my phone onto the coffee table and leaned back to close my eyes. This was for the best. I'd see Eli some other time when things were less busy. When I was sure it wouldn't throw anything off.