Rowan32
Rowan
The cold was starting to seep through my clothes.
I sat with my back against the graffiti wall, wrists bound tight in front of me with plastic cable ties that bit into my skin every time I moved.
My hands had gone from stiff to numb a while ago.
I couldn't tell if it was from the circulation being cut off or the winter air.
Probably both. Every movement sent a stab of pain up my arms, but I didn't stop trying.
Not because I thought I could get loose. Just to stay alert. Just to stay angry.
Because the fear was already trying to take over every part of me.
My chest felt too tight, my breath shallow and uneven despite how hard I fought to keep it steady.
Anxiety clawed at me, but I wasn't about to give Marcus the satisfaction of seeing it.
Not again. I tried like hell to hide it.
Cold, aching, pissed off, fighting the urge to shiver, and doing everything I could to conceal how close I was to falling apart.
Marcus paced just a few feet away, every step jerky and impatient. His head snapped around at the slightest sound – wind, birds, anything – and each time his eyes scanned the growing twilight, I could see the tension in his posture tighten.
He was waiting for Eli. I already knew that much. I'd heard his side of the call and filled in the blanks from the handful of words he'd spat at the phone. But seeing him in this state made it clear just how far gone he really was.
He looked worse than I'd ever seen him. His whole face twitched with barely restrained fury.
His hands kept clenching and loosening, and more than once, he muttered under his breath.
His face and clothes sported blotches of bright red from the Farbgel.
It made him look like he'd crawled out of a fire and hadn't noticed he was still burning.
He even spoke differently now. That polished tone he always used was long gone, and every word out of his mouth came raw and clipped. The effort to sound put-together just wasn't there anymore.
But what made my stomach drop wasn't the wild look in his eyes or the restless pacing. Not even the way he kept glancing at me like he was itching for a reason to lash out.
It was the gun. Tucked into the back waistband of his jeans, barely hidden under the edge of his coat. I didn’t know where or how he got it. But I knew what he planned to do with it.
And I didn’t doubt for a second that by the end of the night, he meant for both me and Eli to be dead.
For a brief moment, Marcus stopped pacing.
He stared down the path towards the park entrance – and then his head snapped around toward me.
I tensed but didn't flinch beyond that. There wasn't much I could do.
Not while I was bound and freezing with the skin around my wrists rubbed raw from the cable ties.
I just stared back. It was the only leverage I had.
To my surprise, his lip curled when he saw that. I expected him to get angry that I wasn't looking away or giving in to him. But if he was, he didn't make it obvious.
"This is your fault, ya know." Even though his voice was quiet, it still sounded too loud in the silence of the park.
"Yours and his. He had to come sniffin' around.
Had to play therapist like he had any fuckin' clue what was goin’ on.
" He started to pace again. Every few steps, he made a sharp gesture as if he was trying to throw the rage off him.
I didn't move. My eyes stayed locked on him, even as the wind bit at my face and my fingers continued to go numb. I flexed them – or tried to, anyway – just to feel something.
He stopped and turned to glare at me again.
"I didn't want this. I didn't plan to be the bad guy.
You did that. You twisted everythin' around until I was the monster.
That's what ya do, isn't it? That's always been your thing.
Play the victim, act like you're scared, and then suddenly everyone's pointin' fingers at me. "
I didn't say a word.
He hated that. I could see it in the tick of his jaw, the wild spark in his eyes every time he checked to see if I'd cracked. If I'd flinched or folded or given him anything to latch onto.
I just kept staring. Because if I didn't hold on to something, I'd unravel faster than he had.
For one awful second, the quiet felt louder than his ranting. His hand drifted to the back of his coat, and he brought the gun out where I could see it clearly. The metal caught what little daylight was left.
He didn't aim it. He just held it loosely in one hand while the other fidgeted with the slide. He almost didn't seem aware he was doing it.
I tensed even more. My pulse throbbed in my ears, and I had to fight to keep my breathing from turning shallow. No sudden movements. No flinching. If I flinched, he'd see it. I didn't want to give him that.
"I shoulda finished this the first time," he mumbled. "Never shoulda let it get this far." He turned the gun in his hand, testing the weight. "This time, I'll make sure it's done."
My stomach dropped.
He didn't have to spell it out. I knew what he meant. My hands twitched, but the cable ties dug in deeper and reminded me that movement wasn't really an option. I felt the tremble start in my fingers and tried to force it to stop.
Marcus looked over and saw it. And he smiled. "I was gonna make this quick. But now I'm thinkin'... Maybe I'll make him watch."
I couldn't stop the flood of panic that raced through me. I couldn't stop the sharp twist in my gut at the idea of Eli seeing any of this.
No. No, I couldn't let that happen. If Marcus was going to do it, he could do it now. Before Eli got here. Before he had to watch it happen.
My jaw tightened. My heart pounded. I braced myself.
"Do it now," I said, my voice lower than I expected. Steadier, too. "You fucking coward. If you're gonna kill me, get it done."
There was a flicker, just a flicker, of surprise in his eyes. It didn't last, though, and snapped into something sharper and hotter. His whole face twisted, and then he was moving. He closed the space in a few quick strides.
I stiffened. This was it. I locked my jaw, ready for the crack of the shot, but instead –
Pain exploded through the side of my head.
The impact hit hard and fast, and for a second, I didn't know which way was up.
I landed on my side, the breath knocked clean out of me.
My skull rang. My vision blurred, split, and tried to reassemble itself.
The sudden movement made the ties bite in deep, and I felt the burn of the plastic cut into already raw skin.
When things finally stopped tilting, I caught my breath and blinked to clear my sight.
My wrists throbbed with a sharper edge now.
They were bleeding. I could feel it. Cold air stung the places where the plastic had sliced through.
Something warm trickled down the side of my face, curling toward my ear.
"You don't get a say in this," he snarled above me. "You're just a loose end."
I forced myself to sit upright, but every movement threatened to tip me right back over. My head throbbed in time with my heartbeat. The world pitched sideways more than once, and I had to close my eyes just to keep from throwing up.
When I finally got my balance under me, I leaned back against the cold stone wall and let it hold me up. The chill bled straight through my coat, but it helped snap me back to reality. At least a little bit.
That was stupid. That was beyond stupid.
I was hoping to throw him off long enough to stop this from becoming a spectacle. But I wasn't thinking clearly. All I did was piss him off more. And now I knew he couldn't be goaded. His grip on reality was too warped.
He wasn't playing power games anymore or looking for leverage. He was past that. He'd already decided how this was going to end.
And Eli was walking straight into it.
The thought brought the panic back in full force. I tried to slow my breathing, but every inhale of freezing air scraped my lungs raw. My wrists throbbed where the plastic had cut through the skin. Blood tickled its way down my hands, sticky against my numbing fingers.
I clenched my jaw and pressed harder against the wall, as if that would be enough to keep my insides from shaking. This couldn't be happening. Not now. Not when we were so damn close to being free.
I blinked against the sting in my eyes and swallowed around the knot forming in my throat. I finally had Eli. I wasn't ready to give that up. A few weeks weren’t enough. Not even close. There had to be more than this. There had to be a way out.
My thoughts scattered when I noticed the tremble that had taken over completely.
I couldn't tell what was doing it anymore.
The fear, the cold, the pain, maybe all of it.
But I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't feel my fingers anymore, and when I tried to move, the ties dug even deeper. I hissed through my teeth.
I drew my legs up, slow and stiff, until I could rest my bound hands in my lap. At least this way, Marcus wouldn't see the way they shook. But it didn't actually help much. I could feel the tremors in my knees now, in the way my muscles twitched and threatened to seize up if I moved wrong.
Come on, Rowan, think.
Every plan I came up with cracked apart the second I tried to picture it. I couldn't fight him. I couldn't run. I had no leverage and nothing to trade. But something had to work. I just hadn't thought of it yet.
Marcus's pacing picked up, each step more erratic and uneven than the last. I heard him muttering again, but I couldn't catch the words. I did hear Eli's name more than once, though.
"He's takin' too long," he snapped suddenly, his voice rising without warning. "He's takin' too fuckin' long."
I coughed. Just once, dry and rough. My throat felt rough from the cold and tension. I tipped my head back against the wall and shut my eyes for half a second.
That was all it took.
"You think this is funny?"
I blinked back to find Marcus turned toward me, eyes blazing. He stormed forward before I could even process it.
"No, I'm not – " I started, but I didn't get any further.
The gun slammed under my chin, the cold metal biting into my skin. I froze. Every muscle in my body locked up.
"Ya think I'm bluffin'?" he hissed. "Ya think I won't do it? Eh?"
The gun pressed harder. I didn't move. I didn't even blink. My heart hammered in my ears and chest. I thought I might black out just from the pressure.
Then, just as suddenly, he yanked it back. A smile spread slow and bitter across his face. "Nah. I want him to see it." He stepped away, almost casual, to watch the path again.
I finally exhaled. The breath left my lungs too fast, and the dizzy rush that followed nearly knocked me sideways. I stayed upright only because the wall held me up. My heart wouldn't stop slamming against my ribs.
Jesus Christ.