CHAPTER FOUR Mike
Ten Years ago
Having a summer job killed my social life.
I wanted to hang out with my girlfriend and Cooper, but earning money to help pay for college was a necessity.
Because my father died a year ago, mom and I were careful with the life insurance settlement because I didn’t want Mom to struggle putting me through college and then end up broke when I finished, so most of the summer after high school graduation was spent bagging groceries and stocking shelves.
I turned the corner of aisle four near the checkout stands when I spotted my mother talking with Lee, my manager, near the front office.
She hadn’t told me she’d be shopping so I was surprised to see her.
Stress contorted her face and I could tell from thirty feet away she’d been crying.
Lee looked my way and motioned his eyes toward me, alerting Mom that I was incoming.
“Mom?” I questioned after hurrying over.
Her eyes glistened with tears immediately.
A kick to my gut made me pause. This wasn’t a visit for groceries. I thought of my grandfather, my only other living relative. “Is everything okay, Mom? Is Grandpa okay?”
Lee ushered us toward the office door and out of the pathway of departing customers. “You need to go with your mother, Mike. We’ll get coverage for you,” he said, his sad eyes returning to Mom.
“M-mom?” I stuttered. “What’s happening? Why are you here?”
My mother couldn’t focus on my face or my questions.
“Okay, you’re sorta freaking me out here,” I stated, glancing around to see if any other employees had noticed my mom crying near the office.
“Let’s go out to the car, honey,” she said hoarsely, clearing her throat of whatever had her so upset.
“Just tell me here,” I argued.
Lee placed his hand on my shoulder. “Go with your mother, son,” he insisted.
“Please?” Mom asked.
I took off my apron and laid it on the counter of an unoccupied lane. Mom began walking toward the exit. “Take all the time you need, Mike,” my boss added as I turned to follow my mother to the parking lot. Her car was right in front of the store, parked in a fire zone. This couldn’t be good.
Mom was already in the car when I opened the door and found her sobbing. She reached for my hand and held it while she tried to calm herself. My mother was not a dramatic sort of woman by any means so I knew the news was bad. “What is it?” I whispered.
“Honey,” she began. Her tone sent an instant warning to my heart. I remembered this voice from thirteen months earlier when my dad was killed in a car accident. “I need to share some awful news,” she began. She stifled a sob, hiccupping and squeezing my hand.
Seconds felt like hours, days even, as I sat there begging the universe to reverse whatever she was about to tell me. “You’re scaring me.”
“I know, honey, and I’m sorry. Maybe we should drive home first, huh?” she offered.
“No!” I spoke too loudly. “Just tell me.”
Mom turned away and stared through the front windshield as Mrs. Gomez wheeled her groceries out the front door near the Subway sandwich joint. Her dog, Mr. Ruffles, was sitting in the cart as usual. Mrs. Gomez went nowhere without her yappy Pomeranian sidekick.
“Cooper,” she gasped, I heard her throat clench and prevent the rest of her words from following the one name I didn’t want included in this conversation.
I quickly grabbed her arm to turn her toward me. “Cooper, what?” I asked in a quiet voice.
She sobbed silently.
“Cooper, what, Mom?” I asked more urgently.
I grabbed my cell phone from my front pocket and turned it on.
Lee didn’t allow employees to look at their cells during work hours.
In fact, he had closed captioned video feeds that assisted him in policing us.
Dozens of texts from Jennifer and my friends made my phone ping continuously.
“Don’t read those, honey,” Mom insisted, reaching for my phone.
I instinctively pulled it out of her reach.
“Hand me your phone now, son,” she added firmly.
I complied with her request. Whatever nightmare scenario I’d been imagining the last four minutes leapt to a dreadful feeling beyond my ability to stay calm. “What about Cooper?”
Mom’s eyes leveled with mine. I recognized the emotion behind them.
I didn’t currently like her eyes very much even though my mother had a stunning green pair.
Dad always told her how beautiful they were.
I’d agreed with him until she delivered the news that he was dead.
Something told me she was about to build a case for me to never want to look into her eyes again for as long as I lived.
In hindsight, I would’ve preferred a few more delays or hems and haws from her.
“Cooper drowned today, honey.”
I heard her words but didn’t allow them to sink in. I looked to my right at the store, watching life go on as customers paid for their groceries and pushed their half-full carts. If I didn’t accept her statement then it couldn’t be real, right?
“No he didn’t,” I said. I glanced at my cell phone in her hand.
I saw the alerts from my friends but pretended I hadn’t.
“He texted me just a bit ago,” I stated.
“He’s fine, Mom.” I swallowed hard as the pain of her words tried to escape my lungs.
“He’s fine, Mom. I know Coop, and he’s totally fine. ”
I couldn’t look at my mother out of fear she was telling me the truth so I stared at my phone, willing for Cooper’s name to pop up on the screen.
She grabbed my hand, her thumb rubbing gently over my knuckles as she wept softly. “I was just over at Roger and Charla’s house, honey.”
I loved Cooper’s parents as if they were my own. I bet my mom loved Cooper as if he was her own too.
“They’re going to need you, Michael.”
I turned and faced her, carefully studying the emotions contorting her beautiful features.
I’d seen this face once before. She was telling me the truth.
I didn’t want to believe her, mind you, but part of me said she wouldn’t say such a thing were it not true.
Another part of me insisted I keep denying her news. “I’m going back to work, Mom.”
She stared at me like I was insane.
“Yeah, it’s been busy today,” I added. I opened the door but remained seated, staring out the front windshield. “Was Cooper home when you were there?” I whispered.
“Honey, listen to me,” she began.
“NO!” I screamed. “I will not fucking listen to you, Mom. You always do this shit and I’m tired of it,” I hissed. Tears erupted from my eyes as I stared at her. “You . . . you . . .” My throat closed. “You’re lying to me,” I muttered.
“I’ll drive us home, honey. Close the door.”
I jumped out of the car. “I’m going back to work,” I said again before slamming the door shut.
I stood gazing over the roof of the car at the parking lot as Mom sat patiently, making no attempt to force me to get back inside.
Traffic drove by on Main Street like they hadn’t heard the news.
People in their cars acting like it was just another normal day in Idaho Falls. “Assholes,” I mumbled.
Mr. Peterson who lived two houses down from Coop spotted me as he headed into the market. “You okay, Mike?” he asked from twenty feet away.
I stared at him through tear-flooded eyes. “Did you see Cooper today?” I asked. “Like right before you came here?” I added. I needed reinforcements against Mom’s lies.
“Well no, son, I didn’t. But there was a lot of activity at his house,” he said. Then he narrowed his eyes because he was probably curious about the commotion at the Matthews’ house. “Is Cooper okay?” he asked.
And then I ran. I ran as fast and as hard as I could. I had six blocks to cover. I’d walked them dozens of times to and from work, only running when I had to avoid being late. Today’s trip would be the fastest sprint of my life. Mr. Peterson wouldn’t lie.