CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE Cooper
Jennifer was going on and on about how mean Mikey had been before first period.
Apparently he’d crossed a line when he hadn’t even walked her to class like she’d expected.
“He’s acting totally weird,” she noted, opening the tiny compact mirror that was permanently attached to her hand and checking her painted lips.
“Do you like this shade of pink, Cooper?” she asked, turning back to me and puckering up.
“Michael refuses to give his opinion of course, but I know you will. We’re practically the same person. ”
That woke me up. “How’s that, Jennifer?”
“We both like pretty things, is all I meant,” she replied, leaning closer. “You get us girls. Unlike the normal boys.”
I knew exactly what she meant. “Thanks for the compliment,” I stated, trying to remain friendly.
I really wanted to like Mikey’s girlfriend, but she tested my limits; and I saw myself as a fairly patient person.
Jennifer James was born beautiful. She started kindergarten beautiful.
And middle school, yep, still beautiful, but high school?
Holy smokes. That was when she blossomed into a goddess.
Lush blonde hair that cascaded in perfect waves of shine down her back.
She had perfect teeth. She possessed an impossibly tiny waist that popped into a round bubble butt.
Her soft, flawless skin glowed like God had personally touched her and pronounced her his successful creation.
All that perfection and I still didn’t really like her that much. I tolerated her. For Mikey.
I watched the cafeteria door open and close, anticipating Mikey and Hastings coming through at any moment.
I needed someone to rescue me from Jennifer’s endless babbling.
Hastings and Mikey shared chemistry class just before lunch period, so they often walked to lunch together.
I sensed that Hastings liked Mikey more than Mikey liked him, but overall they were buddies even after Mikey’s recent confusion about Hastings’ gay status.
I noticed Hastings walk in alone and look toward the table reserved for the cool crowd. Even though I sat here, I never felt comfortable. In fact I was an imposter; slipping through geek-prevention security measures because of Mikey.
Hastings slid onto the bench next to me, ogling God’s gift to the universe, Jennifer James. “Hey,” he said to me while still eyeing her.
You’re gay right? I wanted to ask out loud.
“Mikey was behind me,” he said to Jennifer.
“He better be,” she stated. “I’m up to here with my boyfriend and his antics,” she huffed, raising her hand above her head to an imaginary bar of having had enough.
This comment seemed to pique Hastings’ interest more than I thought it warranted.
He perked up immediately. “Trouble in paradise for the pretty people?” he asked, tapping my knee with his under the long table.
“That’d be such a shame, Jen,” he added, leaning across the table and acting all surprised by her pronouncement.
“I’m sure it would be, but I’m totally over his behavior this past weekend. I deserve so much better. Right, Cooper?” she asked.
I nodded like I cared, but Hastings wasn’t done applying for the possibly-soon-to-be-open position of Mr. Jennifer James. “What would you do then?” he asked. “I mean if it happened. You know, a breakup.”
Mikey would puke if he could witness this, not that he’d care all that much.
“I’d be the most wanted bachelorette at school is what would happen,” she said, with zero hesitance. “I’d probably get a TV show.”
“That’s a fact, Jennifer. Amen to that,” he added.
Just as I was about to gag, Mikey walked in, surveyed the room, and witnessed Hastings barely staying on his side of the table while his girlfriend held court. For just a flash, I saw a look that said he wanted to turn and exit the cafeteria, but he didn’t.
Mikey sat down on Jen’s side of the table, but not directly beside her. “Hey, Coop,” he said, barely acknowledging Hastings and Jennifer. “Hastings,” he said in a way that sounded dismissive to me. His eyes were sad when he redirected them toward his girlfriend. “Still pissed?” he asked her.
“What do you think?” she snapped, turning away.
That was apparently the wrong answer. Mikey stood up immediately. “Okay. Whatever,” he said before walking off.
“Uh-oh.” Hastings said, raising his eyebrows and looking like the wolf that just discovered the farmer left the sheep unattended. “He’s pissed, Jennifer.”
“Go after him, Michael,” I urged, trying to get Hastings to stop drooling over my best friend’s girl.
“Screw that,” he answered. “Our friend Jennifer here is the one that needs our support.” If Hastings, my supposed love interest and prom date, was any more transparent he’d have been made of glass.
“Then I’ll go,” I said, pushing away from the table and standing. “He’s just tired,” I added, sharing my assessment with Jennifer, not Hastings.
“Yeah, you do that,” Hastings said, barely acknowledging that I was there.
I rushed after Mikey who had cut through the exit and was already outside and was walking toward the football field.
“Hey, Mikey. Hang on,” I hollered after him.
I jogged to catch up when he went under the metal bleachers and disappeared into the tangle of aluminum support bars and oversized bolts.
I followed him under the bleachers. “What’s wrong?
” I asked, catching my breath and pulling at his shoulder to get him to face me.
We stood quietly, staring at one another. He had his hands deep in his jean pockets, a sign he was angry at something or someone. “I’m fine,” he finally said.
“No, you aren’t,” I corrected. “You haven’t been fine for two days.”
He stared down at his Nikes. “What do you know?” he snarled, digging his hands deeper into the pockets of his tight Levis which caused the low waist to ride even lower.
Not that I was complaining since his abs made an appearance on his lean stomach. God, you’re so cute.
“I know you,” I reminded him. “And I care about you,” I added. “And I’m here, ain’t I?”
He looked up from the staring contest he was having with his feet.
I looked both directions to see if we were hidden.
“You never used words like ain’t,” he stated.
I didn’t know what he was talking about. “Since when?” I asked.
He quickly looked away, sighing heavily before returning his gaze. “You sure?” he asked, distress on his face as his forehead wrinkled like baked mud on a ninety-degree day.
I stepped in front of him. “Just tell me what it is, Mikey,” I said.
He looked away. “There’s nothing to tell you.”
I reached for his belt and slid a finger under the leather then pulled myself even closer. “This is me, Mikey. We tell each other stuff. Remember?” I asked softly. He didn’t move my hand away from his waist even though we could’ve been caught in a compromising position if someone approached.
“You wouldn’t understand,” he mumbled. “And besides, you like that guy.”
“Hastings?”
His chin fell and he frowned. “Yeah, and he’s just such a . . . such a . . .”
“Creep?” I asked.
“Not the word I was gonna use, but yeah, since you said it.”
I glanced behind me wondering if maybe Hastings had left the cafeteria and came to check up on me. He hadn’t. I returned my focus to Mikey. “He doesn’t like me that way,” I confessed. “I thought he did. At first anyway.”
“He sure seems to like Jennifer,” he said.
“You noticed, huh?” I asked.
He nodded and looked past me and toward the cafeteria. “I don’t think either one of them cares that we left, Coop.”
He was probably correct but I didn’t care. “I can’t force you to tell me what’s up,” I began. “But is it me?”
What he said next surprised the heck out of me. “Actually, it is.”
“Okay,” I replied slowly, worried I’d been the cause of his unusual behavior over the past couple of days.
“Did I do something wrong? Are you angry that I called you out last night about my feelings being hurt? I can try harder,” I said.
“I was out of line,” I added, fear rushing to my gut like it always did when I thought I’d disappointed him.
“Just stop, Coop,” he said, grabbing my hand that was holding his belt. “Look at me.”
I lifted my face from where I’d been gazing at the strong hand that held mine so tenderly, fright overloading my every impulse. I wanted to run, to faint, or even die. I’d never survive if he said we couldn’t be friends anymore. “I’m sorry, Mikey,” I whispered.
“Please stop doing that.”
“Doing what?” I asked. “I said I was sorry.”
“Stop acting like you’ve made a mistake, Coop. You always acted like this,” he stated.
I looked into his blue eyes and knew that this Mikey wasn’t the usual Mikey.
This boy seemed more like a man. Yeah, that had to be it.
He was growing up and I was holding him back with my childish ways.
He needed to grow past me and he’d finally figured it out.
There’d be no more sleepovers, no more cuddling, and no more showers together.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop the tears.
Mikey had always been my everything. Of course, I had to learn to accept that he would never feel the same about us.
But I loved him with all my heart; like the boyfriend I wished I had.
Heck, even his mother knew that. I’d told her after Mikey and I had an argument and didn’t speak for two days.
I was a mess but still came to his house every night and hung out with Mrs. H. while he ignored me.
“Can I still sit with you at lunch?” I asked, tears sliding down my cheeks.
“Listen to me, Coop,” he said, wiping my face with his hand. “I think you’re assuming something.”
“I need to act more manly, right?” I asked, barely containing the hurt in my voice.
“You’re tired of me looking at you with puppy-dog eyes.
That’s it, right? I can do better, Mikey,” I cried, choking on my words.
“And now Hastings doesn’t want me either,” I sobbed, trying to hold it together as my life was shattering right in front of me.
He crossed his arms, shaking his head. “Are you done yet?” he asked. “Can I get a word in now?”
I nodded and sniffed out loud, a moment away from a complete cry-a-thon.
He lifted my chin. “I’m feeling the same way about you, Coop. I mean if you like me like a boyfriend that is.”
“You . . . you . . . what?”
“I love you like that too and I’m tired of denying how I feel about you.”
I turned toward the school and then back to him, only to turn to the school again.
What did he just say? Where were they? Where were Jennifer and Hastings?
I was afraid to turn back to Mikey, but I did.
Surely I’d been exposed to some illicit drug in the cafeteria and was suffering from a contact high.
“You love me? Like more than a friend?” I asked.
“Yes. Yes, I do,” he said, nervously dragging a shoe across the gravel.
“But . . . but, what about Jennifer?” I asked. “Uh. . . and Hastings if he actually likes me?”
“We might have a problem, Coop.”
And once again, I turned toward the school, noticing how clearly I could see the school grounds even though I couldn’t see into the bleachers when I chased after Mikey.
The football field nearby was empty since the season was long over with.
The wide concrete sidewalks around the school were crowded with kids hanging out enjoying the warmer spring weather while sitting on the grass with their lunch.
I noticed a few guys talking near their cars in the student’s lot, most likely comparing engines or horsepower, or things I didn’t care about.
Two monitors kept careful eyes on everyone.
Suddenly I realized that all the people were going about their business and hadn’t noticed us.
They hadn’t heard Mikey say what I’ve always wanted him to say.
I turned back to Mikey. “You’re not teasing me, are you?” He shook his head. “For real, real?” I asked.
“If you want to give me a chance.”
All I could manage was a nod. I nodded over and over and over again. It was difficult to see Mikey through welling eyes, but he was there. Right there. He said he loved me like I loved him. I wasn’t daydreaming this moment.
“I’d like that.”