CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE Cooper
“Don’t know. Don’t care,” I stated, answering Jen’s question and shoving another tater tot into my mouth. I was definitely not going to miss cafeteria food. Even the cafeteria pizza was getting boring and that was everyone’s favorite.
“He hasn’t returned a single one of my texts.
Not one,” Jennifer bitched. She bothered me.
How Mikey put up with a complainer like her was beyond me.
Maybe that’s what drove him to say he was gay?
I sat staring at Jennifer and wanted to poke her eyes out with my last tater tot.
God, I’d tried to like her, but as I sat listening to her go on and on and on about Mikey being a disappointment, I resented sitting with her.
Now I was pissed that I wasted the past four years of high school praying she liked me enough. Well, fuck that.
“You look angry, Cooper,” she said, moving her mirror and presenting the phoniest face I’ve ever witnessed. That was a lie. I’ve witnessed this face a million times. Where’s my tot?
My internal dialogue was still cussing, something I never did out loud, but she was on my very last nerve. My very last and tiny, tiny, tiny, darn nerve. Calm down.
“Nervous I guess,” I said. “You know, about prom, graduation, stuff like that.”
“It’ll all be great after we graduate, you’ll see,” she declared, checking her makeup for the tenth time. “All of us in Seattle at UW. Just imagine the freedom.”
I added another item to my Mad at Mikey list. He hadn’t told her he was going to Washington State in Pullman yet, not UW. What was wrong with him? But then again, maybe I wasn’t going to college with him anymore either.
“That’s not it,” I said, locating the tot and holstering it up in my hand.
“Oohhh,” she giggled. “Is Hastings pressuring you to give it up?”
My eyes doubled their normal size.
She leaned closer. “I bet you’re gonna do it on prom night.”
“Uh, I doubt that.”
She quickly looked around at who might be in ear shot.
Hastings hadn’t come to lunch and Meg was fighting with Greg at another table.
“Hastings told me his folks will be gone this weekend and he wants us to come to his house after the dance,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows and making the letter O with her mouth like something naughty might happen.
“I think he’s planning his move, Coopie,” she squealed.
“Are you and Mikey going?” I asked. “Does he know about Hastings’ folks being gone?”
“Hmmm, probably,” she murmured. “Don’t know actually, but I’m not putting out even if we do.”
I knew her and Mikey weren’t doing it. He’d have told me if they were. I had wondered why they hadn’t yet but he always blamed her. “She won’t even rub my dick,” he’d said, while we were showering. I certainly would’ve if he’d asked me back then.
Jennifer leaned even closer. Another six inches and she’d have been across the table and sitting on my lap. “Are you going to . . .?” she paused and looked around us again. “You know,” she asked, winking and making a strange face.
“No. I don’t think I do know,” I said.
She moved her finger to her lips and pushed back and forth, an extremely poor attempt at imitating a blow job. She pointed at me and then back to her mouth, this time opening her lips a bit. “To Hastings if he wants you to?”
I knew what she was asking but this was far too much fun to stop messing with her. “Kiss him?” I asked.
She shook her head, pursing her lips. “No. The other thing,” she whispered, turning a wonderful shade of red. This was fun.
“French kiss him?” I asked.
Her shoulders fell and she huffed out a breath. “Stop acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about, Cooper. It’s the one thing all of you boys want.” This time she pushed her finger further into her mouth and pulled it back out, repeating the movement a few times.
I saw Hastings walking up behind her so I gave him a look that said, hold on, check this out.
“Oh, that?” I asked, pretending I was shocked. “Not me.”
Hastings leaned around her. “What are you doing, Miss Perfect?” he asked, leering at her. “Apparently I’ve been missing out.” He looked across at me. “You taking lessons?”
“Gross,” Jen shrieked. “I’d never. Oh my God. No way.”
He laid a hand on her shoulder. “Calm down. We hear ya, cheer queen. You’d never. How about you, Cooper?”
I wanted to say not with you, perv, but my options were getting even more limited.
“Just kidding,” he added, swiping my tot and plunking it in his mouth.
You’re kinda gross.
“I’m saving myself,” Jennifer stated.
“Even if Hill moves on?” he questioned. “Because I doubt he’ll wait, Mother Mary.”
“Have you even seen me?” she asked, adjusting her top and dragging her fingers across her breasts. She dragged them up her neck to her chin, then placed her thumb and middle finger along the edges of her mouth lustfully. “Trust me, he’ll wait.”
“Damn, girl,” he declared. “Holy fuuuccckkk. I’ll wait.”
It was at that moment that I began to see Michael Hastings as something he claimed he wasn’t. Straight. And not only that. He wanted to be the new Mr. Jennifer James.
“Where’s your other boyfriend?” Hastings asked, gesturing to me. “Heard he skipped school,” he added.
“Don’t know,” I muttered.
“You hear that, Jennifer? Cooper doesn’t know where Mike Hill is. Guess I don’t have to be jealous anymore.”
After the morning I had, I’d reached my limit of BS. “You know something, Hastings,” I began. “You can F off.”
He covered his mouth and fake gasped. “No fucking way,” he said. He walked around the table and leaned over me, placing his palm to my forehead. “You okay, rebel?”
I pushed his hand away and gave him a nasty look. “Why are you such a dick?”
“Cooper!” Jennifer gasped. “You cussed. You don’t ever say naughty words.”
“Well, fuck that,” I stated, sliding off of the bench seat. “And fuck you, Hastings.”
I took three steps away and stopped, then walked back and got in his face. “Besides, I want a meal, not a snack,” I hissed. “And I wouldn’t suck your needle dick if you were the last guy on this planet. And don’t pick me up for prom either.”
“But, Cooper,” Jennifer begged. “You gotta go. We’re double dating and we all match.”
“Wake up, Jennifer,” I stated, gesturing toward Hastings. “He’s practically crawling up your ass. Go with him.”
“Wha . . . what … Well, I’ve never,” she blubbered.
I grinned maniacally at her and then at Hastings. “Maybe that’s the problem.”
I walked out of school. I was ashamed of my outburst. I didn’t swear. I wasn’t cruel or someone who made fun of people. I was Mr. Nice Guy to all I met and had been since kindergarten. What exactly had that gotten me? Nothing. Zip. Zero.
I was going to change.
My house was empty when I got home. I still felt awful about dumping my anger on Jennifer and Hastings but couldn’t change anything now.
At half past twelve, my parents were both working so I trudged up to my room.
The reality of what I’d said to two of the most popular kids at school finally settled in.
I didn’t know where the rage came from but I would have to apologize or beg for forgiveness if I wanted to be included ever again.
I stared across the street at Mikey’s house.
A purple VW Beetle decorated with giant flower stickers was parked in the driveway.
I hadn’t noticed the car until then and it stood out like a clown car.
The glare from the sun hid whether Mikey was in his bedroom or not.
It probably didn’t matter anyway. I’d pushed him away and to add frosting onto the proverbial cake, I’d just insulted the other two stars of high school.
I pulled the bottom drawer out from my desk and rifled under old school work, doodles, and other junk, including a Reese’s candy bar I had forgotten about until my fingers felt the glossy picture that I sought.
The photo was of Mikey and me at Campbell lake last summer.
Jennifer had snapped the picture on her cell phone and then made two copies and gave them to Mikey and me for our birthdays last year.
We were both bare chested with our arms around each other.
Mikey was giving me rabbit ears and the two of us were grinning like fools.
I leaned into him while he held me close.
I’d cut the picture into a heart shape and hidden it from him because I thought he’d think my act too much for guy friends.
Sun lit our faces, our white teeth even brighter due to our tans.
Several people said we could have been brothers because of how similar we looked at times.
We were very close, but I’d never wanted that comparison to be true.
I brought the photo closer, noticing for the first time the weird rings of light around our heads.
Blinking my eyes, I squinted and tilted the photo towards my window to make sure the circles weren’t a weird reflection.
At that moment I had one of those déjà vu feelings pass over me as if I’d visited the lake recently, which I knew I hadn’t.
I flipped the photo over, carefully reading the date. July 2012. “It was last year,” I whispered, running my hand over the date. I nearly fell off my wooden chair when dried ink from a year-old photo smeared onto my finger.