Chapter 19
“Holy crap, it’s packed in here,” I grumbled to Mom as we stepped into the church. I hadn’t wanted to show face at Sarah’s funeral, but I forced myself to anyway. I was still trying to process last night and come to terms with the fact that everything was pointing right at him.
Though, still, I tucked his illegally owned gun under my bed instead of handing it over.
“Beth, come on,” Mom nudged me. “We’re blocking the aisle way.”
“Sorry,” I muttered under my breath, brushing away the nerves that had me feeling sick. I had just been in this church, up front with the family for my father’s funeral. Now, here I was again. For Sarah.
We slid into one of the back rows of the sanctuary, which was easily over its maximum capacity. There were a lot of familiar faces, but also a lot of unfamiliar ones. I swallowed hard, noticing a few people glance back at me—one of those faces being Lucas Wilson.
Ugh .
I diverted my eyes to Blaze, who was standing in the front corner of the old church in his uniform, his arms folded across his chest. There were law enforcement officers scattered about, and their presence wasn’t surprising to me—I knew the drill…
And it was a solemn reminder of my predicament.
I looked away from Blaze, scanning the room. There was one person that I had yet to see in the sea of faces, and while I shouldn’t have, I looked for Garrett anyway. Rolling my shoulders to relieve some of the tension, I shifted in the pew beside my mom.
Mom leaned over, whispering. “You okay?”
I nodded, dropping my eyes to the bright, smiling face of Sarah Armitage on the funeral program sitting in my lap. The photo appeared recent, though it was hard to be certain. Her blue eyes were potent, as if they were boring into mine from the page. Crushing guilt rushed back, making my chest suddenly feel tight. I flipped the paper over abruptly, shaking my head as the piano began to play.
Mom’s hand landed on mine, giving it a light squeeze. I glanced over at her just in time for her to give me a reassuring half-smile. I returned it before focusing on the crowd once more.
Why is Garrett not here? Where would he be?
My mind ran back to the lingering question I had after talking with Blaze in the living room and especially now that Garrett had given me too much information. Why wasn’t it in the report that I had spoken with Garrett that night? It made it seem like I was withholding information—just like I also held back that dark stain on his shirt. I closed my eyes.
Why did I hold that back? Did I hold back anything else?
I could hardly hear the alto singing I’ll Fly Away , her voice sounding distant as my ears began to ring. My knee bounced nervously, and I blinked to clear my blurry vision. It was as if I was on the verge of passing out...Except I wasn’t.
“She was her daddy’s sweetheart, her momma’s angel, and to know her was to love her,” Pastor Frank began, his voice somber. “What happened was horrific and has left us all reeling. I’m praying that we find answers soon.” Everyone nodded, a few muffled sobs breaking out across the room. I glanced over to my mom, whose eyes were glassy with moisture as well.
Everyone loved her.
Well, someone didn’t… Or maybe they loved her too much?
My thoughts were bugging me as I continued to try and pay attention. One of Sarah’s brothers read her obituary, adding his own commentary. All the while, I tried to tell myself this was just another funeral. However, he wasn’t quite finished when the doors of the church were slung open, the sound of the handle slamming into the wall echoing through the sanctuary. I spun around, my mouth dropping open.
Oh no…
No, no, no.
My eyes locked with Garrett’s as he stumbled into the church, his eyes red and clothes ruffled. It appeared he had attempted to make himself look nice, his jeans starched and western button down mostly clean... But he was definitely hammered.
“Get him out of here!” a voice called out as the music abruptly stopped, the church falling into dead silence.
“Shut the hell up, Ty,” Garrett bellowed, pointing him out of the crowd. He then turned his attention right back to me. “Beth, we need to talk. It ain’t cool the way you just ran off last night?—”
“You gotta get outta here.” Blaze appeared from nowhere, heading right for Garrett. My eyes were wide as I watched Garrett shove at Blaze, still trying to make his way to me.
“Tell him to knock this off,” Garrett demanded, his focus still on me. “Or did you go straight to him and tell him about it all? I guess he’s better for you, yeah? Did you kiss him, like you did me?”
My mouth opened as if I was about to speak, but nothing came out to defend my dignity. I was frozen, embarrassment clamping down on my vocal cords. My lower lip trembled, and I finally stifled a painful sob as my mom’s hand landed on my shoulder.
“You’re making a scene Garrett. You don’t wanna do this,” Blaze said calmly, as a couple of other officers joined him, one of them being Sheriff Myers.
“Come on, son,” he said in a low voice. “You’ve had too much to drink. You can talk to Beth after you sober up. You were doin’ so good.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” His eyes bored into mine. “The one person who knows the truth about me?—”
“Let’s all just stay calm and remain in our seats,” Pastor Frank’s voice boomed over the microphone. I turned my head to see why he would say such a thing, but the answer was right in front of my face.
“Disrespectful asshole!” Lucas Wilson shouted, storming toward the chaos with his fists in the air. People were jumping to their feet to get a better view, but I stayed sitting at the end of the pew, finding it hard to breathe.
Please don’t.
“Go back to your seat,” Blaze warned him as Sheriff Myers and another deputy were now dragging Garrett out. “You don’t wanna start anything. Show some respect to your ex-wife and her family.”
“Like you’re one to talk,” he barked back, though he did slow down.
The doors of the sanctuary slammed as Garrett was finally on the other side, leaving Blaze standing in the gap between Lucas and the exit. The tension in the room felt palpable as Lucas finally spun back around and headed back to his seat. However, though chaos might’ve receded, everyone’s necks were still craned in one direction...
Right at me.
I swallowed hard, catching Blaze’s expressionless face as he headed back to his post. He shook his head when he caught my eye, and I wasn’t sure whether to be offended or thankful that he was quick to shut Garrett’s tirade down. After all, Garrett’s words were slurring, surely no one took him seriously…
But my stomach churned nauseously anyway.
I sat through the rest of the service in a numb state, refusing to even try to process what had just happened. I mean, honestly, Garrett was probably just so drunk that he had no idea what he was doing… But still, he mentioned us together last night, and maybe it was just my paranoia, but if that didn’t catch the attention of the nosy Nancys of the town, then I wasn’t sure what would. Finally, the funeral was crowd was dismissed.
My mouth felt like I had eaten an entire tub of cotton balls as I stood to my feet, turning to my mom. “We’re not staying for the lunch, right?”
“Oh, no way,” Mom said quickly, shooing me out of the pew and into the sea of people. “We just need to get you out of here. You’re sweating bullets, and everyone is staring.”
“Am I?” I questioned, running my hand along my forehead. Sure enough, my fingers came back glistening with sweat. I had opted for a minimalistic black blouse and dark wash skinny jeans for the funeral, but apparently it hadn’t been breathable enough.
“Mrs. Young,” a woman’s voice called from behind us right as we made it to the double doors.
“Oh, Brittany,” Mom greeted, stopping off to the side to prevent holding up the traffic of people. “How have you been?”
I took a step toward the door, thinking I would just meet her at the truck, but she stopped me. Her hand grabbed my wrist, tugging me back beside her. I gave her a look, but she met my eyes with a warning glare.
“I’ve been better,” Brittany, a total stranger to me, replied. “This was quite a scene…”
“I’m so sorry,” Mom said, eyeing me. “This is Beth, my daughter, and Beth,” she turned to me, a forced smile on her face. “This is Garrett’s um, wife, Brittany.”
I nearly passed out as I took in the woman. She had dark, luscious wavy hair that cascaded down her back. She was wearing a black tea dress, perfectly fitted at the waist. “Hi,” I managed to choke out.
She gave me a disdainful smile. “It was just downright embarrassing of Garrett to come stumbling drunk in here like that. I should be the one apologizing.” She dabbed a tissue at the corner of her smoky gray eyes. “He’d been doing so much better, you know. We’ve really been praying for him.” Brittany choked up at the end, waving her hand at her face like she was trying not to cry. “He’s just been in such a dark place for so long.”
Mom reached out and squeezed her hand. “I’ve been praying for him. I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you. You’ve been through so much with him. I really thought when he met you, things were getting better, but it’s not your job to save him.”
Brittany nodded, once again batting tears away. “Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see him ruin his life.” She turned to me then. “And I’m sorry that he’s drug you into his mess. I know how embarrassing it can be. The two of you have some history, I know. It’s interconnected with… Well, you know.”
“Yeah,” I said flatly. “Kind of.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “You don’t have to downplay it. We’re separated now, even though I keep hanging on—for whatever reason, I’m not sure. I think there was a reason I never even changed my last name. I knew the risk it was to fall in love with him.”
This woman is in love with him, and she looks like a saint. Brittany had fallen for him after everything had happened… And here I was, thinking that I had loved him the most all these years.
“His dad will help him out,” Brittany said, giving me a soft smile. “I’ve had to let it go. Everything that happened with Sarah made me realize it was time to put him behind me, and…” Her voice trailed off momentarily. “I don’t know you, Beth, not personally, but he used to, um, talk a lot about you… I know you two had something, but trust me, he’s not someone you get close to and walk away unscathed from.”
I nodded but didn’t get a chance to say anything as Ty Miller, one of the men that Sarah had listed off as having dated—and the one Garrett shot at last night—stepped up to the circle. His darkened eyes met mine for a moment, but a moment was all it took to know that he was judging me. Ty’s thin lips turned down, his face full of disgust before turning to Brittany.
“We need to get over to help serve. You promised you’d help.”
“Oh of course,” she said quickly. “I just wanted to stop and check on Andrea and Beth.”
“Well, thank you.” Mom smiled, but I couldn’t read her expression. “Keep y’all’s heads up.”
“Will do. Again, nice to meet you, Beth.” Brittany gave me a slight nod before falling in step with Ty and filtering out of the church.
I shook my head, immediately following the trail of people. The air felt stale in the foyer, and I didn’t slow down as I pushed through the front glass doors. I welcomed the chilly breeze of the day, but also, part of me wondered if Garrett was still out here, close by...
“I think you and I need to have a conversation, Beth,” Mom commented as we headed toward the truck.
“We can talk at home,” I said, knowing that I would have to fess up to a lot more than just kissing Garrett last night. My heels clicked obnoxiously on the pavement as I rounded the corner to the side lot, Mom’s silver half-ton in sight. I caught wind of a conversation as I started to walk around a group of unrecognizable patrons.
“That was one for the ages,” a man chuckled. “Did you see the look on her face? I think there’s a lot more to the story. She looked guilty. ”
“Makes sense,” a woman agreed. “I heard she represented criminals in Chicago. Lord knows, she might be with the mob.”
My face went hot as I ducked past them, feeling their eyes on me .
“Slow down,” Mom huffed behind me. “Jeez.”
“Sorry,” I muttered as I reached the driver’s side door. “That was just insane.”
Mom laughed, eyeing me. “You just ain’t been home in a while.”