“You were
The weight of the words Anima Alterum followed Caster to his study. He couldn’t outrun them. The implication was impossible to ignore. It explained everything: his powerful attraction to Mark, the easy, uninhibited way Mark submitted to him, and the control he seemed to have on his wolf.
His mother was on his heels, her immense presence a certainty he had little hope of ignoring, and even the petulant child in him knew he couldn’t tell her to go away.
The familiar safety of his study was an illusion.
Even here, memories of Mark, fresh and abiding, haunted him.
He walked to the shattered window and stared into the darkness outside, just making out Ethel’s twice-dead army.
How could this be? There was no denying the joy Mark’s presence brought him, but it was the wrong time.
His world, their world, was falling apart.
Every vampire on the planet relied on him to hold them together.
How could he fulfill that obligation when everything in him wanted to make Mark’s safety his priority?
The undeniable click of the door had him sighing.
He drew his gaze away from the overwhelming darkness outside, his wayward thoughts, and fortified himself for his mother’s admonishment.
But when he turned to face her, her expression tore at his remaining strength.
She didn’t look like the all-powerful Queen of the Vampire Race, but a mother who recognized her son’s heartbreak.
He looked away from the comfort her expression offered, the carpeted floor a much safer option. “Please, mother…”
She moved closer to him, close enough that when he summoned the courage to face her, he could see the pain in her eyes. “Remember when Cy was born?”
He frowned, unsure why she would want to talk about his brother right now.
“You were so young.” She smiled, easing some of his tension. “You spent every night in his room, keeping him safe as you put it. And no one could dissuade you from that.”
“I don’t remember that.” He lied, and his mother tilted her head to the side, calling his bluff.
“You were so adamant in your protection that your father worried perhaps you were aware of a threat we couldn’t yet see.” She pointed to his chair. “Sit. Get away from Ethel’s darkness.”
Until his body crashed onto the chair, he hadn’t realized how tired he’d been.
“The point is, my beautiful boy, you have always equated protection with love.” She held his gaze, unyielding in her challenge. “You love him, don’t you?”
He shook his head.
She shrugged. “Well… maybe you haven’t admitted it to yourself yet, but I’m your mother. It didn’t take long for me to see it.”
“That’s not possible. I’ve only known him a few days.”
“And you think that matters?”
He shook his head, trying to find the right words, but she was right; she knew him well, even the parts he dared never share with anyone. “You just want him to be my soulmate.”
She laughed, her joy a balm on the grief tearing at his heart.
Its source was clear. Mark may be his Anima Alterum, but he belonged to another. His rival for Mark’s affections couldn’t be ignored. Even dead, that werewolf held tremendous influence on Mark. Why would the Goddess choose to punish him with this? “What is so funny?”
“You are so like your father, it’s uncanny.”
He leaned back in his chair, ready to argue his case. “Mother, I…”
“You think that duty eclipses love somehow. That you need to choose between one and the other.”
How did she do that? “Doesn’t it?” He leaned forward, the words flowing faster than he intended. “With everything going on, Uncle Lucien and his possible ties to Ethel, the council… How can I even think about this now?” He scoffed. “And the Prime Alpha, his brother, just threatened war. Again.”
She dismissed his points with a wave of her hand.
“The Prime Alpha is too reasonable to start another war.” Her refreshed smile mocked him.
“And between you, him, Damien, and everyone else, you’ll figure out what your uncle is up to and put a stop to it.
Of that I have no doubt.” She reached for his hand.
“All I’m saying is, there is more to life than duty.
It is that werewolf in the conference room. ”
He opened his mouth to counter her argument, but she squeezed his hand. You’ve spent so long protecting everyone else, you haven’t lived. Let yourself have this.
One last squeeze of his hand and she stood, straightened her dress, and with one last indulgent smile, walked away, leaving him with the tremendous weight of the same duty she begged him to abandon.
Mark stood on the other side of the door when she unlocked it. “Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back…” He started to turn, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. Then she closed the door, deafening, charged silence, occupying the immense space she left behind.
Caster was on his feet, the invisible pull of Mark’s presence too great to ignore. But he hesitated as he drew closer, stopping short of touching him. His hands balled at his sides, itching to feel his skin, to check for the effects of Edie’s spell.
“I’m afraid that anything I say will just…” Mark whispered, the words he didn’t say trapped in the tiny space between them.
His initial resistance crumbled, and Caster reached for his hand, the touch light, a simple brush of his fingers. He shook his head, closing his eyes against the denial, and stepped closer, so close he could feel Mark’s breath on his face. “Then let’s not say anything.”
Mark’s lips brushed his, and he was lost. He didn’t dare open his eyes as he gave in to the need to taste him.
He opened himself to the eternity of the moment, the familiar pass of Mark’s tongue over his saying everything they couldn’t.
His hand gripped Mark’s in a tight hold as he acquiesced to Mark’s plea for his dominance.
Before he could even process it, Caster had him against the door, taking everything he could, while he still could.
Mark responded with complete submission, relaxing into the door, plaint even as Caster’s need to take everything transformed the simple kiss into a demand for more.
The threat surrounding them invaded the rational part of his mind, his immense duty, imposing itself on the beauty of the moment.
He pulled away, keeping Mark pinned against the door.
Their chests rose and fell with their exerted breaths.
“Even in the midst of life-threatening danger, I can’t help but want to lose myself in you. ”
Mark’s eyes remained closed, as if he too feared letting reality invade their space. He licked his lips, tempting him further, but Caster tamped down on his needs.
“Look at me!” He didn’t have to wait too long for Mark’s obedience. “Let’s stick to the plan?”
Mark’s imperceptible nod was punctuated by a sigh that begged Caster to forget everything but him.
“We’ll talk about it. About all of it, once the witch is no longer a threat.”
That part of him that his mother wanted him to relinquish was necessary if they were to survive today.
Mark’s safety was important to him, but so was his duty.
The witch holding them prisoner wanted Mark for reasons that remained unclear, but she’d also killed his kind with impunity if the Made-Vampire army outside was any indication.
He couldn’t overlook that. It was possible to fulfill his duty to his kind and keep Mark safe, wasn’t it?