11. Rosie
11
ROSIE
T ossing my yoga mat into my basket in the corner of the living room, I stand and thrum my fingers against my side as I survey the area. I’m debating if there is something to clean or if I should just light some candles, grab a mug of tea, and cuddle with a blanket on the sofa.
I’m just edgy. Nervous energy. It makes zero sense. I can’t even think of a reason why.
There is no more slew of questions about last night. Sleeping in Carter’s arms felt like home, if I’m honest. I woke in the middle of the night, and I couldn’t help but watch him sleep. Noticing how his arm would shift if I moved the slightest or the way his chest rises when he breathes steadily. Or the fact that his scent drowns me, between his body and steeped in the pillows. I didn’t want to change clothes this morning.
I had to slip out of bed early because I had a class to teach over in Lake Spark. He should be home soon, as for the most part, he has the day shifts.
Ditching the tea idea, I flop onto the couch and decide to call Bella. She’s been hounding me with texts that I keep forgetting to answer. I’ve been occupied with things.
I unlock my phone and press her name. It doesn’t take long for her to answer the video call. She seems to be in the corner of an office.
“Can’t talk long. They have me working on a project.” She quickly eyes the area. “It’s a pain in the ass that I had to sign that no-fraternizing clause, because some of the players that walk into this building have me seriously doubting my life choices.”
I snort a laugh. “You’ve always been such a by-the-book girlie. Go on, break the rules,” I encourage her playfully.
She gawks at me. “Anyhow. How is it going?”
“Good. I was teaching a class this morning and now I’m going to take it easy. Actually, I’m kind of hungry. For a normal meal, finally.” I note that we have leftovers in the fridge from yesterday.
“That’s great to hear. And how is it with… the ex-husband?” She grimaces.
“Carter and I are fine. Baby steps, I guess. A better direction than a week ago. We had a good conversation.”
My sister smiles brightly. “I’m happy to hear that. I’m really rooting for you two. I think everyone is. It wasn’t a messy divorce.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “No, it wasn’t. It was just a bruising blow that we both gave up so easily.”
Bella shrugs. “Bruises heal.”
I snicker at her. “You’re supposed to be my baby sister and I’m the one handing out the deep thoughts, not the other way around.”
“You told me once that bruises heal. Remember? When I broke up with my high school boyfriend.”
“Nah, I believe I said he was an ass. Not quite the same thing,” I remind her.
She shakes her head. “You did, but then you told me that I will heal and have a new chance for someone else.”
“I don’t want someone else.” I toss a throw pillow to the side.
Her cheeky look annoys me. “All the more reason that it will be okay. You have him.”
My heart pinches from the reality of it. Positive truth is heartwarming. “Anyhow, I’ll let you go. I know you’re busy with hockey players that you can’t flirt with.”
“Thanks.” She doesn’t sound enthused. “Oh, and Mom keeps mentioning that when you are further along, she’s hosting the baby shower.”
Now I have to laugh. “Good luck with that. I have a sixth sense that Carter’s mom will blow a gasket over that. I vaguely heard planning about a balloon wall or something when Carter was on the phone with her and trying to get her to simmer down.”
“You’re providing all of us with entertainment. Thanks.”
I shake my head ruefully, end the call, and then toss the phone to the end of the couch. I massage my neck and feel the need to stretch. I pull my leg close then hold the bottom of my foot before stretching straight out and high, nearly to my head.
“What the fuck.” Carter’s fumed tone causes my leg to instantly drop, and he must see that I’m confused as my gaze darts to him. Not because he must have arrived home and I didn’t notice, but because he appears agitated. “What are you doing?”
“Uh… stretching.” It’s obvious.
He moseys into the living room from where he was standing, grabbing the throw pillow on the ground in the process. “You’re pregnant. Take it easy.”
I roll my eyes, aware of where this conversation is going. “I taught a class this morning if you’re really in the mood to be annoyed.”
He lifts his nose with eyes unwavering. He isn’t impressed with me provoking him. “The class where you balance on your arms or bend like some mystical creature?”
My mouth gapes open. I’m not pissed off, more enjoying his protective side. “It’s not new. I’ve been doing it for years. I’m careful and it’s my job, so get a grip.”
Carter joins me on the sofa. “Rosie, I’m serious.”
I shove his arm, still completely unfazed by his concerns. “Settle down. I’ll stop teaching when I feel I can’t do it anymore. At home, I’m not going to stop, though. The movements will help when I deliver the baby.”
His eyes blaze at me. “You are not going to deliver our baby while you balance on your head.”
Giggling, I pull his arm to me to calm him down. “Relax. I promise it’s fine. Now tell me, how was your day?”
He loosens up. “Fine. Just had to check a few things at the station. Nothing riveting.”
“Well, that’s okay. You have enough excitement in your personal life to keep your dosage full.”
His cheeks tighten, and I can tell that he agrees and wants to smile like me.
“I should go change.”
I nod. “Sure. I’m ready to eat a solid meal. I’ll warm up the leftovers.”
The back of his hand glides down my cheek. “Good to hear. I’ll be back down soon.”
My smile hurts.
* * *
Music was on low, a mood candle lit, and we ate dinner together. Conversation was about his brother, the latest neighborhood gossip, and going over the baby growth chart on our apps. It was casual and almost felt as though we’ve reached a new normal on the living situation.
And just like last night, after closing up the house, we ascend the stairs. Except this time, the moment that my feet hit the hallway floor at the top of the stairs behind Carter, he grips my hips and half turns me just enough to lift me up, and my legs wrap around his waist to stay steady.
“Here’s the thing, Rosie.”
Arousal zips through my body the moment our eyes meet. “Forget that you have a bed in the other room. There is only one bed that you’ll be sleeping in here in this house, and it’s my bed.”
My breath catches because his hardened look won’t accept any answer but yes. Power looks good on him, it always has. A bolt of lightning strikes through me and everything electrifies. It’s physical and emotional, completely not going slow, but our bodies already sent us down this path a few months ago, if we’re honest. The truth was lingering underneath the surface all along.
“Do you understand?” he grits out, and his eyes take possession of me.
My heart grows, and between my legs is begging for me to be under him. I’m in his trance again, and I accept that.
“Yes,” I answer in a hushed tone.
“Good, you listen. Because I would lose my damn mind if you were in my bed one more time and I couldn’t do this.” He slams his lips onto mine.
An explosion of pent-up tension. A reunion of lips that only know how to gravitate to one another. A confirmation that the last few days are right.
I respond eagerly by kissing him back, and his punishing lips take over as he begins to walk us into his room, still carrying me. We slow for one kiss, only for our tongues to get reacquainted. The tip of our tongues flick one another before his swirls around my own. Our lips seal just as he begins to lay me down on my back, a contrast to his damaging kisses, but then I shove him to the side and agonizingly come up to sitting.
“Wow. That was some kiss,” I gasp and touch my lips.
He stares at me blankly, wondering why I pushed him away, and it causes me to smile and grab his wrists, giving him a little tug while he towers over me.
“Carter, we probably should slow it down a notch.”
“How did I know that was what you were about to say?”
I shrug. “Probably because you know it too.”
He sighs and looks away before swinging his gaze back to me with a pained smile. “You might be right.”
“So we can start with a kiss and cuddling and see where we go?”
His boyish grin emerges. “Fine.”
I pat the bed next to me. “Good. Now we can sleep with clear boundaries, and if you feel so obliged, maybe I can wear one of your shirts?”
His brows rise. “Really? You want to submit me to the torture of seeing you in my shirt?”
“I don’t consider it torture. I consider it a fact that my body is beginning to feel a little different, and I want to be comfortable,” I explain.
He rubs his face, trying to gather composure. “Reminding me that my baby is growing inside your belly isn’t helping the situation.”
I have to laugh. “It could be worse, and I could tell you that I’m willing to use your handcuffs if it means you will behave.”
Carter groans and spins on his feet to walk to the drawer. “You are for sure getting a warning for disorderly conduct.” He pulls out a shirt and tosses it to me.
We take a few minutes to get ready for bed, and when we both snuggle under the covers and lie on our sides to look at one another, I don’t think we have any plans to go to sleep.
My gaze can’t seem to drift away as a memory takes over.
He looks at me peculiarly and grimaces. “You okay there? Seem a little lost.”
“Sorry. I was just remembering when we first met.”
“Ah. A walk down memory lane is where we are heading.”
I flop onto my back and can’t seem to let it go. “It’s a nice memory.”
He follows suit and his back plants onto the mattress. “You were walking along Main Street in Lake Spark and paused when I was writing a ticket because someone parked outside the lines.”
Snorting a laugh, I’m well aware where this is going. “I paused on the sidewalk because I wasn’t impressed, and it wasn’t even my car.”
“You decided to voice your thoughts and told me that I must be having a shitty day if that was my concern, then pointed out a teenager down the street had littered in case I felt the need to take my grumpy mood elsewhere.”
“You should have been so insulted by me, but instead, you just stood frozen in disbelief at my candor.”
My cheek rests against the pillow so I can watch his facial expressions which are nuanced. “I didn’t freeze because of your views. You took me off guard because of the way you grinned, and the flower in your hair drew me to your eyes.”
A firmness presses into my heart. “Funny that I think my entire body sank when you looked up at me. Because I didn’t realize how handsome you were.”
“Is that why you were insistent that you buy me a coffee?” He licks his lips and smiles.
“I could tell that you needed to loosen a bolt or something. It was a beautiful day and there you were writing miserable sheets of doom for people.”
He scoffs a chuckle. “So you bought me a coffee with almond milk and a cinnamon stick without even asking if that was what I drank. You said almond milk has more antioxidants and that I seemed like someone whose muscles told you that I care about my body.”
I poke him with my finger. “You are making it sound like I was coming on to you using compliments.” He squints his eyes at me. “Okay. Maybe I was, and it was successful because you took me for a picnic the next day. The rest is history.”
We both stall, and I feel right away that maybe I didn’t use the right words. History can’t be rewritten.
Pulling the blanket up closer to my chin, I do a cowardly thing. “Uhm, I should probably sleep.” He doesn’t say anything, only reaches to the side to turn the light off. The air feels tense, and I’m aware it’s my doing. “I’m sorry. I wish I had been more aware of where we each were in life then.”
His hand interlaces with mine on top of the blanket. “Me too, me too… but for once in my life, you taught me to live in the moment, and that was new and exciting and good. Reality just played a game with us in the end.”
“Our reality now is that we’re going to be parents.”
He squeezes my hand. “No, Rosie, our reality has finally made it clear that in this moment we are where we are supposed to be.”
I needed to hear that, and I’m quick to lift my body so I can kiss him firmly on the lips which he gladly accepts, his free hand gliding up my arm to cup my cheek. “Night, Carter,” I whisper.
“Night, Rosie.” We both shift until he is spooning me from behind.
And I sleep deeply because everything feels safe between us.