Chapter 10 Lorna Now
Lorna turned onto the street where her mother last lived. It was a few blocks east from where she lived now, sandwiched between the old Mueller airport redevelopment and the trendier Hyde Park. Here the homes were modest and overshadowed by pricier real estate.
Lorna pulled up in front of a redbrick ranch-style house.
The yard was cluttered with bird feeders and yard art, just like it had been when her mother lived here.
It also contained plastic pink flamingos, metal flowers, two concrete birdbaths, and, bizarrely, something new: a red, blue, and green metal rooster that stood about five feet tall.
Lorna knew that in the backyard she’d find more yard ornaments and bird feeders, a large patio, an old tire swing hanging from one of the oak trees, and two plastic life-size longhorn cows.
At the end of the drive was a two-car garage, and above that, a garage apartment with two small bedrooms, one bath, a tiny kitchen, and a living area.
Her mother had moved them into that apartment after she’d sold Nana’s house. She’d needed the money from the sale to put Kristen into long-term drug treatment.
Living in the garage apartment had been a bit like living in a tree house.
The tops of the live oaks were visible outside the windows, and they never lost all their leaves.
For another family, it might have been charming.
To Lorna, that small apartment felt like prison.
It had put her too close to Kristen when she was at her worst and too close to her mother when she was at her sickest.
Lorna hadn’t been here since she’d cleaned out the apartment after her mother died. Of course she’d been the one to settle all the details of her mother’s estate, with no help. She couldn’t even remember where Kristen had been at that time. In jail? With a boyfriend?
She sat in her car, staring at her past, until she began to feel hot.
“For heaven’s sake, Lorna,” she muttered.
“Don’t be such a chicken. Just do it.” Still, it took a moment for the command to travel from her brain to her body to move .
At last, she got out of her car and walked up the path to the front door and knocked.
She waited a minute or two, and when no one came to the door, she walked a rock path around to the side of the house, taking care not to get her pant legs caught in the pinwheels turning in the spring breeze along the path.
She rounded the corner into the backyard and spotted a toddler’s car, the red-and-yellow sort driven by their feet.
There was also a doll lying face down on the path.
The back gate was tall, made of redwood, with lattice work up top. There was a small porcelain medallion hanging next to the latch that read WELCOME. Behind the gate, she could hear water running and someone humming. She knocked and opened the gate, poking her head just inside. “Peggy?”
She startled the older woman, who clumsily whipped around and almost lost her footing. But when she saw Lorna, her face broke into a warm wreath of smiles. That, in turn, startled Lorna—she was not used to people looking so pleased to see her.
“Lolo! Oh my goodness, what a sight for sore eyes! Wait, wait, don’t go anywhere!” She dropped the hose she was holding and hurried to turn off the spigot. She wiped her hands on the apron Lorna had never seen her without and came quickly to the gate, her arms cast wide.
Lorna sheepishly slipped inside the gate. Peggy kept advancing, holding out her arms, until she had them firmly around Lorna, who stiffened—she was quite unaccustomed to human touch. Certainly to hugs.
After a moment, she began to soften. This reminded her of something. Of Nana. Nana used to hug her so tight when the family would come to visit.
She felt a little guilty, showing up like this after all this time.
Peggy was exactly where Lorna knew she’d be, tending to her plants.
She owned the house and the garage apartment and had been their landlord.
She was always available, taking care of issues immediately and, probably most important, being her mother’s dear friend.
Mom and Peggy had spent a lot of time on this patio, drinking wine and reminiscing about the good ol’ days.
And when her mother was sick, Peggy was there to help.
It made sense that Mom had made Peggy her trustee.
Peggy finally let go and stood back to examine Lorna from head to toe. “Look at you, look at you . You finally figured out how to tame that hair, I see.”
“Um... no. I just put it in a bun. Less trouble that way,” Lorna said self-consciously.
“Well, you look great,” Peggy said. “So professional!”
Lorna was wearing what she considered her casual clothes.
Black slacks, a blue linen blouse. Peggy, who must be in her seventies now, looked a bit heavier than the last time Lorna had seen her.
But her hair was still a halo of tight silver curls around her plump face.
She was wearing support stockings and Crocs and a smile that took Lorna back in time.
Peggy had always been so kind to them. Lorna had no idea why—there’d been nothing but death and drama in the years the Lott ladies had occupied that garage apartment.
“I’m so happy to see you, you can’t imagine. Don’t just stand there—come in!” she said, and grabbed Lorna’s wrist, pulling her into the yard.
Lorna allowed herself to be dragged. It was nice to be with someone who liked her.
“Thanks, Peggy. It’s good to see you too.
” It truly was. But of course, as usual, her warm, fuzzy feelings had to be accompanied by something sour.
This time it was a wave of remorse that suddenly washed over her.
She should have come after her mother was gone.
Peggy had been so good to them, especially Mom.
After Mom died, Peggy had made sure Lorna was eating, and Lorna had been so.
.. Well, she didn’t know what. Not exactly angry. Shell-shocked? And probably very gruff.
All she knew was that she had retreated into her bomb shelter and slammed the door shut.
“I’ve got a fresh batch of iced tea. Let’s sit on the patio, and I want to hear about all that you’ve been up to. Do you still like cookies? You’re so trim, Lorna! How did you manage it? I should take a page out of your book. You sit here, and I’ll be right back.”
There was no page in Lorna’s weight-loss book other than the one about stress. She’d figured out a long time ago that she was a Big Girl and had stopped trying to fit the mold of what society considered beautiful. That was Kristen’s job—she’d been the beauty. For a while, anyway.
Peggy was back in a few minutes with her plastic pineapple-print serving tray.
She had two large glasses of tea, a caddy of sugars, and a plate of cookies.
Lorna took a cookie. Peanut butter. To die for.
“I noticed you’ve got some kids here now,” Lorna said as she munched on the cookie. “Grandkids?”
“Heavens, no. My son is just as recalcitrant about relationships as he ever was and refuses to give me grandchildren. He lives in London now. Isn’t that wonderful? Imagine, driving by Buckingham Palace on your way to work every day. But never mind him. How are you, Lolo?”
“Umm...” Lorna put down her half-eaten cookie and wiped her hands quite rudely on her pants.
She didn’t know how to answer Peggy’s question.
Or rather, where to start. “I’m... fine,” she said tentatively.
“I’m...” Her voice trailed off—she wanted to express herself but didn’t really know how.
“You know,” Peggy said, “I always knew you’d come.”
Lorna’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”
“Oh, sure,” Peggy said with a determined nod. “I didn’t know when, but I knew you’d be here. These things, you know, they take as long as they take.”
Lorna wondered what “these things” meant to Peggy. She was only now working out what they were for herself.
“Your mother loved you so much, Lolo.”
“Oh. Okay, we’re going straight there,” Lorna said, feeling suddenly uneasy. She’d never questioned her mother’s love for her. But she had questioned how much her mother liked her. There had been times it felt as though she didn’t like Lorna at all.
“She might not have always made the right decisions, but she tried to do her best before she left this earth,” Peggy continued. “That’s what mothers do. They make the hard decisions for their kids.”
Why was she telling her this? “Okay,” Lorna said, trying to sound light. But then she felt the terrible trickle of a tear sliding down her cheek.
“She wanted you to be happy, and I know how she worried that regrets would eat you alive. She really wanted to help you let go of those regrets.”
Yeah, yeah. She’d heard it all from Mom. “I know,” Lorna said, and shakily wiped a finger beneath her eye.
“Good heavens, listen to me, going on about something you’ve obviously thought long and hard about. You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t, would you?”
Lorna sniffed and tried desperately to will away more tears. She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t need the trust money. She hadn’t come to admit her mother was right about anything. “I guess?” she said, because it would be great if they could get this over with.
“Wonderful.” Peggy brightened a little. “How is Kristen?”
Lorna’s belly did the sickly little ripple she felt anytime someone mentioned her sister. “I’m not sure,” she answered truthfully. “She’s in Florida with my dad.”
Peggy nodded. Curiosity was practically oozing out of her.
“We’re not speaking.”
“Oh, I hate to hear that,” Peggy said. “You two were once so close.”
“A very long time ago.”
“Well, I’m glad your father finally stepped up to the plate.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Lorna said. “It was more like he didn’t have a choice this time. I mean, with Mom gone.”
“It’s all been so hard for you, Lolo,” Peggy said kindly.