Chapter 34 Lorna Now #2
Martin and Liz set off to examine the science projects. Lorna went in the opposite direction, to Bean’s table. It was easy to spot—he was out front in his blue vest with his many badges and his explorer hat. She noticed he also had a flashlight attached to his belt.
She spotted Seth and waved, then pointed to the flashlight as he walked over. “Oh, that. So he can illuminate the inside of his volcano for the judges.” Just then, Bean unclipped his flashlight to show two adults what was inside.
“That’s a lot of mud,” Lorna said, noting the construction of the volcano.
“Yep, the hole he and Aggie dug in the backyard came in handy after all,” Seth said with a chuckle. “It was Martin’s idea.”
Lorna glanced at Seth. They exchanged a knowing smile that she felt all the way to her toes.
More parents wandered by, and Bean launched into the explanation of his experiment with each new arrival. He had rehearsed it, she knew, because he’d run it past her three times. The kid had no fear.
“Want to have a look at the other entries?” Seth asked.
“Sure.”
The pair of them wandered the long hall, taking in the experiments. Lorna was impressed with the creativity. “Jill would have loved this,” Seth said. “She loved all the kid stuff.”
Lorna tried to imagine what the Rooney family unit must have looked like. Did they live in a house or apartment? Were there playdates and date nights and friends and holidays? “Were you going to have more kids?” Lorna asked, then immediately winced. “Sorry. None of my business.”
“No, it’s okay, I don’t mind talking about Jill,” he said. “We were considering it. But she was gearing up for a century ride.”
“A what?”
“It’s a hundred-mile bike ride they stage for charity.
She and some of her cycling friends were planning to enter the Jalapeno 100 Bike Ride in the Valley.
It requires a lot of training.” He looked off.
“And I’d just taken this new job with long hours, so.
.. well, obviously, we never got around to it. ”
Lorna tried to picture Bean in that scenario. If Seth was working and Jill was riding her bike, who was playing with him? Who was helping him build his long Hot Wheels track or make houses out of blocks?
“Bean loves his vest,” Seth said, looking at Lorna again.
“Thank you for that. It’s important to him and it means a lot to me.
Honestly, that Ranger Explorer troop is the one thing he has right now.
It’s hard for Bean to make friends. Diego is moving in a few weeks, and he feels a little lost, I think. ”
“What about family?” Lorna asked. “Do you have anyone close by?”
Seth shook his head. “My mom and dad try to help, but Dad’s health isn’t great. Jill’s parents are in New York and see Bean once or twice a year.” He paused. “What about you? Any family nearby?”
She shook her head. “My mom is gone, as you know. And my sister and Dad are in Florida. We’re on opposite ends of.
..” She hesitated. Opposite ends of what?
Substance abuse? Self-respect? Health? There were so many things.
She couldn’t think of an appropriate catchall word, so she said simply, “Life.”
He nodded, and maybe he understood or maybe he didn’t, but Seth had a way of knowing when not to press. “What are you going to do when the apartments sell?” he asked. There was no mention of fighting it. Seth assumed they were all moving.
“Umm...” She could hear Micah urging her to tell the truth.
She could just admit she was the buyer. Tell him about her history and the house.
She could offer to let him and Bean stay.
She could invite Martin and Liz to stay.
They could all stay until they found other arrangements, because eventually, she wanted Nana’s house to be Nana’s house again.
She was 80 percent sure she did.
Then again, who was she kidding? Lorna felt something changing in her.
She didn’t know all the ways she was changing, or how far the changes would go.
She just knew it was happening. She said truthfully, “I honestly don’t know.
” She didn’t feel as determined or cutthroat about her plans anymore.
She wanted to feel like she had something, like there was a reason for her to exist. But maybe there were options.
“I wish you would look into the condos I found,” Seth said. “They’re opening up new units.” He suddenly stopped strolling and faced her. “Bean and I would really like that, Lorna. And I’m not just saying that for Bean’s sake. I would like it too.”
“Oh.” Lorna was stunned. She could feel a warmth creeping up her spine, a familiar swell of yearning.
She could not have been more surprised if he’d announced he was an alien or running for president or a wanted criminal.
She didn’t even know how to respond. Part of her would very much like it too.
But there was so much unfinished business for her, and there was the whole issue of her confidence and ability to trust. But she would like it.
She would more than like it—she would relish it.
She glanced around them, at the happy kids, the families, the science experiments. The lives that were being lived while she lived in her past. She suddenly blurted, “I have to go to Florida.”
“Umm...” Seth looked flustered by the abrupt change of subject.
“My sister. I have to go see my sister. And it’s going to be hard, because everything with her is really hard.”
“Is this part of the apology tour?”
Lorna nodded. She could feel tears building and gulped them down. “Last stop. I mean, unless something happens between now and then and I say something super offensive and have to apologize to you too.”
He smiled wryly. “Let’s just assume it’s the last stop. Is that a good or bad thing?”
“I honestly don’t know. And I’m a little scared to tell you the truth about it all.”
“I can see why. Sounds like there is an awful lot of water under that bridge.”
“A tsunami. But it’s something I need to do before I can really think about what comes next. Do you understand?” she asked, feeling suddenly desperate. She almost wished he were Micah, who would have looked right at her and understood instantly.
“I... I think I do,” he said uncertainly.
“And I need someone to look after Aggie. Do you think you and Bean could keep her for the week? She’s good—she won’t pee in your house.”
“Aggie is the best,” Seth agreed. “But...” He touched his fingers to hers, sort of playing with them, lacing into them. “I’m taking some time off. For fall break. What would you think... I mean, this is out of the blue, but... maybe Bean and I could go with you? Like travel buddies.”
Lorna could feel her eyes widen with shock, to the size of small saucers, she was certain. She was amazed she wasn’t crying. “Really?”
“Only if it’s okay with you. Liz would look after Aggie, I’m sure of it. But I need a break, and I get the feeling you could use some moral support. Not to mention Bean could get his helping badge. You know how bad he wants his helping badge.”
His fingers were still tickling hers, and she liked the feel of them. She liked the idea of Seth and Bean as her wingmen. She liked everything about this moment, and she was astounded that she wasn’t afraid or being weird. She smiled. “I am acutely aware of how bad he wants his helping badge.”
“What do you think?” Seth asked, and his fingers wrapped around hers in a firm hold. “Beach time for the boys, travel companions for you?”
If she agreed to this, she would have to tell him everything—she couldn’t not tell him—but she believed it was worth the risk. “I would really like that.”
Seth smiled. She did too. They stood there a minute, smiling at each other, their eyes speaking words she didn’t quite grasp but knew were there, until they were interrupted by Martin and Liz.
“Earth to our neighbors!” Liz said cheerfully, startling Seth and Lorna both. “We have determined Bean has the best volcano. His spew is better than anyone’s.”
Of course it was.
Lorna laughed more that late afternoon than she had in a long time.
She felt easier, and the knowledge that she had someone in her corner was like a warm blanket around her, holding her tight and safe.
She felt great. Like she was someone and people liked her, wanted to be with her. Even King Kong had his moments.
She realized how badly she needed the support, too, because she had no idea what to expect when she saw her sister. She hadn’t seen her since the night she kicked Kristen out of her apartment and told her she never wanted to see her again.