Chapter 22 Harper
Harper
“Ms. Bennett, Mr. Mercer, so glad you could join us,” Callister had intoned.
I’d hated being late to history, because anything less that perfection meant I was falling behind, and I was already behind. I’d taken my seat at the front while Orion sat next to Tessa Carlyle. She was beautiful and sweet, and if I lost him to her, I’d probably deserve it.
You bludgeoned him about his ADHD, and that’s fucked up.
It didn’t matter that he was trying too hard to fix things with his money, at least he was trying to help.
Even if he was going about it the wrong way, his heart was in the right place.
He was the one good thing I’d had in my life, and I’d probably ruined it by blurting out what I should have said gently. Or not at all.
Yet Orion still wanted something with me. He still wanted to take me out on a date. He still wanted an us.
My eyes had stung, and I’d blinked hard to keep my notes from blurring. Meanwhile, behind me, Orion was struggling. Because even if I was wrong to whack him with my suspicions, I knew I was right to have them.
After class, Orion hurried out without a word to anyone, looking completely burnt out, and was a no-show to piano. I felt his absence like a hole in my heart and dragged my feet to the student parking lot when the day was finally over. I spotted Dean heading to his old Camry.
“Hey, Dean.”
He had his head down, nose buried in his phone, which wasn’t like him.
“Dean. Dean.”
He looked up as I caught up to him. He looked nervous. Or guilty. “Oh, hey, Harper. Haven’t seen you at the Math and Physics Club lately. You good?”
“Yeah, just…busy. Are you okay?”
“Never better.” He flashed a strange, twitchy version of his usual smile and spoke a mile a minute. “But I have to run. Can’t talk now. I’m late. Maybe later?”
“Oh…sure?” Before I could say another word, he climbed into his car and drove off. “Good talk.”
But my flippant words were only a mask for the worry for my friend that I now added to the teetering stack of stress that threatened to bury me.
I picked up Dash from school and had a guy come out to give me an estimate about the roof. Nearly ten grand to replace the whole thing, or half that to merely plug the leaks.
“I’d replace the whole thing,” the guy said. “If we get another rager like we had last week, you’re just going to get new seepage. More seepage means greater the chance of black mold too.” He gave me a look. “Is your mom or dad home? Maybe I could talk to them.”
“No,” I said. “Thank you. We’ll be in touch.”
I made Dash dinner, and later that night, tucked him into bed.
“Harper, when is Mama coming home?”
“Sunday, bud.”
“Why is she gone for so long?”
Because she’s an inconsiderate, immature asshole who thinks of no one but herself.
“She just is,” I said. “I wish I had a better answer.”
Dash nodded, looking so small in his bed. He brightened slightly. “When is Orion coming back? Can you ask him to come over tomorrow?”
Tears threatened, but I pushed them back. “I don’t think so. Maybe next week. We’ll have to see.”
His face fell. “Why? Did you get mad at him too?”
I stiffened. “I…it’s complicated.”
“Doesn’t he like me anymore?”
“Oh, buddy.” It took everything I had to keep it together. “It’s not your fault. Nothing is your fault. Orion and I are having a disagreement.”
“Will you try to fix it?”
“I’ll try, but it’s not that simple.”
Christ, how to explain to a seven-year-old that my relationship with Orion wasn’t about him when he was already invested? In love with Orion. I added that guilt to the weight on my back until I thought I was going to crumple.
The only fuel I had left was hatred for my mother. That I had in endless supply.
“Everyone leaves.” Dash rolled over on his side, away from me. “Everyone.”
“Not everyone,” I said. “I’m still here.”
But Dash didn’t say anything, so maybe that wasn’t enough.
***
The following day, Thursday, Orion was absent from school when I knew he couldn’t afford to be absent from school, and a terrible fear began to squeeze my heart. After history class, I shot him a text.
Are you okay? Where are you?
No answer.
My thoughts went back to the night he took those awful pills out of desperation. What if he’d tried again? Or something worse? The stress I carried on my back was a mountain, but it paled in comparison to my worry for him. If something happened to Orion…
“Harper?”
I turned in the hallway. Tessa Carlyle was petite and pretty in a green dress that highlighted her auburn hair. By contrast, I felt dark and bleak in my black skirt, black tights, and black blouse.
“Can we talk for a second?”
“Sure.”
Tessa pulled me aside, out of the flow of traffic. “So this might be out of line, but I think you’re the person I should give this to. Not Callister, that’s for damn sure.”
She pulled a piece of notebook paper from her bag and handed it to me.
The top half was a jagged mountain range of words, each letter looking like it was trying to run away from the last. Shaky and uneven.
Below that, beautifully accurate sketches of a wheel, a row of crops, and a tablet with strange writing carved into it.
As if the two halves of the page were two halves of the same brilliant mind, revealing where it struggled and where it did not.
My heart seized because I knew exactly what this was, and who it belonged to. Then I glanced up at Tessa in a panic.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I won’t say anything.”
“How did you know that he and I…?”
“You can’t stop staring at each other, for one thing,” she said with a giggle. “It’s really cute.”
“God, is it that obvious?” I asked, my cheeks burning.
“No, but I pay attention. I figure it’s my job, if I want to be a good actress.
Not going to lie, I was pretty jealous at first, but I got over it.
But seems like things aren’t so great?” She waved her hands.
“None of my business. The point is, Orion dropped this paper in his rush to get out of class yesterday. I was going to return it to him today, but he’s not here and…
well, it’s not the first time I noticed something off.
Not in a bad way,” she added quickly. “But I think he’s struggling and needs help and Callister doesn’t care.
Or maybe he doesn’t know.” Tessa bit her lip. “Maybe no one knows?”
I nodded, glancing down at the paper, which blurred in my vision. Because Orion had been working so hard, for so long—alone—and it broke my damn heart.
“No, I don’t think so,” I whispered.
“So anyway, I don’t mean to pry into his business,” Tessa said. “I won’t say another word or butt in. I just wanted someone close to him to…I don’t know. Help? He seems so tired.”
I cleared my throat and folded the paper in quarters and tucked it into my bag. “Thanks, Tessa. I appreciate it.”
“No problem.” She smiled prettily. “And hey, if things get sorted maybe you two will come to my show? We’re doing Les Misérables this spring. Shameless plug, I know…”
I smiled. “I’ll be there.”
“Great. And Harper, if you ever want to talk or hang out…” Tessa suddenly looked shy.
“This place isn’t exactly overflowing with friendly girls.
My best friends are the gay boys in drama class.
Not that I’m complaining; they’re the literal best. But I wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend for girl talk once in a while. ”
I managed a smile. “I’d like that.”
“Me too.” Tessa’s own smile was brilliant, and I had a premonition that I was going to see her on the big screen someday.
We parted ways, and I rushed down the hall, not sure where to go, or what to do, except I had to find Orion and…
Do what? Make things worse? And what about Dash? What am I going to do with him?
Anger at my mother for abandoning us flared at me all over again as I walked fast, not paying attention to where I was going, and then I crashed headlong into someone.
“Bloody hell…”
The British accent sent my hopes soaring until I looked up into bleary blue eyes instead of brown ones.
“Professor Wolfe?” I glanced around the crowded hallway, which was nowhere near the Arts Wing of this huge school. “Are you okay?”
“Hm? What?” Today, he wore black baggy pants, a black blouse-like shirt, and a long, light jacket that flowed behind him like a cape, and all of it was tinged with the perfume of old liquor. “Fuck me, I’m all turned around.”
Maybe if you weren’t hungover all to hell…
“Right,” I said darkly. “Arts Wing is that way.” I pointed and intended to carry on, but Wolfe looked truly lost. “Do you need some help?”
“Would you mind?” he said. “Being found wandering the corridors in my present condition might be detrimental to my financial interests.”
I turned the professor around, and we walked through the crowded hallways like a pair of crows toward his office.
“Why are you in this present condition if you know you have classes to teach?” I asked, not too kindly. “Our piano class next period, for instance.”
Wolfe glanced down at me. “Have I done something to arouse your anger, Ms. Bennett?”
I didn’t reply. We arrived at his office. I saw him safely inside, gestured as if to say, Voila, and turned to go.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he said, slumping onto the couch and stretching out. “Something on your mind? Are you going to tattle on me to President Sterling?”
“No, but…” I crossed my arms. “If you have people counting on you—kids counting on you to be there for them, why do you do it?” I shook my head. “Never mind.”
“You’re her, aren’t you?”
“Who?”
“Orion’s girlfriend.”
I stiffened. “He told you?”
“He let it slip. I pretended not to notice.” Wolfe’s expression deepened with concern. “It was already a difficult conversation.”
“What do you mean?”
“He told me he can’t write,” Wolfe said in a low voice. “And that words have holes in them. Do you know what he’s talking about?”
“I think so,” I said. “But…not exactly.”