Chapter 32 Harper
Harper
At my desk in my room, I placed the turbidity and pH test strips in the water samples that had been filtrated with either sand, gravel, cheesecloth, or charcoal layers, and then noted the results.
I noted the best reduction in sediment and the drinkable pH, then moved on to bacteria testing. A tired grin spread over my lips.
“Thank God.” My results were as I predicted. Drinkable water…which wasn’t bad considering I’d had to budget like a madwoman for the materials.
I hastily wrote up my results and set them on my desk. I’d leave the formal write-up for next week and start rehearsing my presentation for next Thursday.
My phone chimed with a text from Tessa.
Check your mail???
I frowned. No. Why?
Um hello???
A photo popped up of a college acceptance letter from NYU.
“Oh, shit.”
In all my Mom drama, I’d started to think I couldn’t do any college without the NoSci. Not a poor Bend kid like me who’d need the gross GDP of a small nation in student loans to pay for any of it.
Congrats!!! I typed. I’m not surprised.
Thanks but Go. Mail. Now.
I headed downstairs, my stomach queasy. Mom was on the couch napping. Or passed out. Hard to tell these days. Dash was watching cartoons.
“Hey, buddy,” I said. “Did you hear the mailman?”
“Yep,” he said without taking his eyes off the screen. My little brother used to get ridiculously excited about the mail. He used to get excited about a lot of things. I shot my mother a dagger glare.
I’ll never forgive her. Never.
I went to the mailbox. Amid envelopes stamped with scary things like open now and urgent and final notice, there was a thick manila envelope from NYU.
“Holy shit.”
I brought it all inside on shaking legs. At the kitchen counter, I opened the envelope. Inside was a brochure and some paperwork, but on top was a letter with NYU letterhead.
Dear Ms. Bennett,
It is our greatest pleasure to inform you…
The letter fell out of my hand, and I gripped the counter. Tears blurred my vision, and joy ballooned in my heart. It wasn’t MIT, my first choice, but NYU was a world-class school, and they wanted me. Me.
I have a home…
“Harper?” Dash asked. “Are you okay?”
“Fine, buddy. Got some good news, actually.”
“What is it?”
“I got into college. In New York.”
Dash’s face fell. “You’re going to move to New York?”
My mother stirred and sat up. “Who’s moving to New York?”
“Harper,” Dash said, crying now.
“Well, wait,” I said, my elation deflating. “I just got accepted. I don’t know…”
“Isn’t that nice for you,” Mom said, smiling thinly. “With Orion? Is he going to buy a penthouse in the Upper East Side for the two of you while we lose our house?”
“Wow, okay,” I said, letting the letter fall to the counter. “I guess a congratulations is too much to ask for. And I don’t know what Orion is doing after graduation, now that you mention it.”
Now that I mention it. Out loud. For the first time.
Tears sprang to my eyes.
“But thank you so much for taking this happy moment and completely fucking it all up.” I snatched the letter and waved it.
“This is what we came here for. So I could get into a good college. Which I did, no thanks to you. And if you’re so goddamned concerned about this house, then get off your ass and get a job. ”
“How dare you—”
“Come here, Dash,” I said, holding out my hand. “We’re going to Mrs. A’s.”
He nodded, sniffling. I came around the counter, into the living room, with the rest of the mail.
“A really smart man once told me that lack of love is one reason people drink,” I said, standing over my mother, my voice trembling. “Well, here we are. Your love.” I slammed the unpaid bills and notices into her lap. “But if you keep going, this is all you’re going to have instead.”
And then I walked out.
***
I spent the rest of the week concentrating on school and taking care of Dash. Mom and I rarely spoke, though I noticed she was taking more shifts and going to more AA meetings. But if she wanted a kudos, she’d have to do more than that.
I didn’t spend time with Orion either, or even share my news about NYU.
Texting him about it didn’t feel right, and the only time we saw each other in person was in class, where he was strangely distant after our beautiful Nocturne date.
I told myself it was because we were both busy with the NoSci, and he had the upcoming regatta and a party he was throwing at Atlas Hall right after.
And his upcoming performance at the spring concert?
He hadn’t said one word about it. Every time I thought about Orion playing at that concert, a strange feeling filled my chest. Hard and heavy, like a boulder of words built from everything we couldn’t say.
Everything we didn’t say about the future.
Our future, if we had one. I’d been too afraid of being hurt, and he’d been too afraid to step out of his family’s protective castle to consider something different for himself beyond this year.
We’re way past that. Aren’t we?
***
Friday afternoon, I was on my way to join Emery to watch the Head of the Bay Regatta, when I spied Ezra Wolfe walking to his car in the staff parking lot, adjacent to the marina.
“Professor Wolfe!” I called and hurried to catch up to him.
He stopped, his long black coat nearly brushing the ground. “Ah, Harper,” he said, smiling sadly. “How can I help you?”
“It’s been a shit sandwich of a week, but I got some good news and haven’t had a chance to tell anyone.
But you’ve been really great this year, and so I want to tell you.
” Of course, my stupid eyes had to go and tear up again.
“Dammit. I swear I’ve cried more these last six months than I have my entire life. ”
“I know the feeling.” Wolfe put a black-nailed hand over his chest. “I’d be honored to hear your good news, Ms. Bennett.”
“I got into NYU. I thought I’d have to win a certain science contest—and I do, because I desperately need the money—but, yeah. They accepted me. And if I say that one more time—accepted—I’m going to really cry.”
“You go right ahead,” Wolfe said. “I’ve heard it told that weeping happens when a soul feels an emotion that is too big for the body to contain. Congratulations, Ms. Bennett. I, for one, am not surprised in the least.”
I wiped the heel of my hand over my eyes. “Thank you for that. And for listening.” I heaved a breath. “Not going to the regatta?”
“No,” he said, strangely flat. “But tell our mutual friend good luck.”
I started to go when Wolfe stopped me.
“It’s interesting, isn’t it? Juilliard and NYU are both in Manhattan, a short subway ride away.”
“Yes,” I said slowly. “Why?”
“No reason,” he said grimly. “Except I’m a terrible person.
I meddle and manipulate and stick my nose in where I shouldn’t because I cannot imagine that boy pushing numbers behind a desk when…
” He bit off his words and shook his head.
“Forgive me. Ask him to forgive me, and tell him that I was wrong. Tell him it’s never too late. Never.”
***
With Wolfe’s cryptic words ringing in my ears, I’d joined Emery Wallace on the bleachers, smashed in with the rest of the Academy, to watch the Head of the Bay Regatta.
Colorful flags and banners decorated the marina, as our Royal Pride rowing crew took on three different schools in half a dozen different races.
We’d already watched the singles, twos, and the fours win their races, and now Xander and Orion’s race, the men’s eight, was underway. Emery had my arm in a death grip as we waited for the boats to come from around the Bend. Her cheeks were flushed and her blue-green eyes were sparkling.
“You look positively radiant,” I said. “What gives?”
“I didn’t get into Brown,” she said, not taking her eyes off the water. “Isn’t that great?”
“Uh, congrats? Wait, did your dad flip his lid?”
Her tyrannical father had been adamant Emery attend Brown when she wanted to go to a different school. Have a different life with Xander.
“That’s the best part,” she said. “He didn’t seem all that pissed. I think maybe he’s coming around.”
“Or he’s got a plan B. Em, are you sure—?”
“Here they come!”
The crowd on the bleachers got to its feet, cheering on their guys, while the teams on the dock pumped their fists for their boys.
Our boys wore black-and-gold unisuits and iridescent sunglasses, their bodies moving in perfect synchronized precision as they fought for dominance against two other schools. Emery’s eyes were glued to Xander, closest to Dean as coxswain. She was practically drooling.
“Girl…”
She giggled. “I know, but can you blame me?”
I found Orion, second from last at the head of the boat, moving with catlike grace and beauty…
“No,” I told Emery. “I can’t.”
The crowd grew louder as the race got close with the finish line only a few meters away. But our guys pulled as if their lives depended on it while Dean bellowed his commands with an aggression I’d never seen from my friend before.
Emery gripped my arm tighter as the race came down to the finish.
I wasn’t into sports, but I was into Orion. I let the electric hum of energy from the crowd infect me too, and then I was jumping up and down, adding my voice to the crowd, hoping my energy would find him and give him the extra support he needed.
The boats were neck and neck until ours pulled ahead just as they crossed the finish line.
“They won.” Emery had me by the shoulders. “They won!”
“Yes, I see that.”
But I was laughing too, caught up in it. We joined the crowd running to the crew as their boats were pulled ashore. Every man was exhausted but happy, slumped over and patting each other on the back.
I ran to Dean and threw my arms around his neck. “Congrats!”
“Thank you, thank you,” he said, grinning tiredly. “For the only guy on the shell who didn’t row, I’m surprisingly exhausted.”
His smile tilted, and I watched him meet eyes with Sierra. She smiled shyly and wiggled her fingers at him surreptitiously, before laughing loudly with a group of popular Richies.
“Still a bridge too far?” I asked, my heart aching for him.
“Yep.” He smiled ruefully. “Eh, what can you do?”
I hugged him again. “Hey. I love you.”
“Aw shucks. Love you too, my friend, but why so serious? It’s just a boat race.”
“Nothing. Life. You know how it is.” I shook my head and then watched, shocked, as Emery threw her arms around Xander’s neck and kissed him in front of everybody.
“Well, what do you know,” Dean said. “There’s hope for us Benders yet.”
I searched for Orion in the crowd. He’d always maintained that he never cared what anyone thought about us. Maybe I’d be brave too and throw myself at him, and tell him about NYU and how I didn’t want him to leave…
But when our gazes clashed, he smiled and waved and turned away, celebrating with his team.
“Harper?” Dean said, breaking me from my thoughts.
“Sorry, what?”
“You’re coming to the party tonight, right?”
“I suppose.”
“You don’t sound enthused.”
I smiled grimly. “Let’s just say watching a bunch of people I care about get drunk out of their minds isn’t my favorite thing right now.”
“Orion’s not a big drinker, at least,” Dean said. “And I promise to behave.”
“You’re the best.” I gave another hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Congrats again.”
I got lost in the crowd and headed back to my car. In the driver’s seat, I texted Orion.
Congrats on the win.
I was at home, in my room, when the reply came.
Thank you, love! Got swamped after the race with team stuff, but I can’t wait to see you at the party. We’ll kiss in front of the whole bloody school so I can show off my woman, proper.
My thumb touched the gorgeous ring on my middle finger as Wolfe’s words came back to me, along with that unpleasant feeling. That mountain of words unsaid between us. But over text was not the time, and Orion had just won his race.
Tonight. We’ll find some time tonight.
I’ll be there. <3