Chapter 19
THOMAS
“We’re what?” Nadia looked accusingly from Cammy to Thomas. He’d been planning behind her back. She wouldn’t have gone along with his idea if he’d proposed it to her on his own. He needed Cammy’s support, her connections. And, he figured, Nadia needed to hear it directly from her, the expert.
He stood motionless as Cammy outlined their next steps, her voice fading into background noise, his attention entirely fixed on Nadia.
She barely blinked, her complexion drained of color since the moment Cammy announced his plan.
He catalogued every shift in her expression, every detail of her face a record of the damage he was about to cause.
And he couldn’t look away from her, even as she stood rigid, her body stiff like a page of fresh ink caught in the rain, suspended between absorption and ruin.
Nadia, he observed, wasn’t easily digesting Cammy’s words either about new identities, relocation protocols, and the permanent nature of their situation—how they’d never be able to contact anyone from their old lives.
How they’d need to become entirely different people, almost like what James had gone through.
Though Thomas didn’t know which was worse.
He and Nadia would remember their past lives.
They’d be all too aware of what they’d lost and couldn’t keep. Who they’d left behind.
But what struck him most painfully was the subtle quiver of her jaw, the contracting and loosening of her fingers at her sides. She was desperately grasping for control when neither of them really had any.
He’d done this to her. And this wasn’t the first time.
The weight of that realization pressed down on him with crushing force.
His entire relationship with her had been built on a series of disruptions he’d caused in her life.
He’d manipulated his way into her family’s financial situation so her mother wouldn’t lose their home.
He forced her to carry unbearable secrets about Phil’s true parentage, and then about James, knowing full well her friendship with Aimee would strain under the weight of her deception.
And now this—the ultimate disruption. He was asking her to abandon everything.
He was the wrecking ball that demolished whatever stability she’d established in her life.
The cruel irony of their situation wasn’t lost on him.
What he’d done when they were teens had been to protect her, to keep her safe.
To ensure she had opportunities and security.
Yet here they were. Her life was in danger precisely because of him.
What terrified him most wasn’t the Hidalgos or the prospect of disappearing forever.
It was the growing certainty that this time he’d pushed her too far.
Because she was looking at him with the vacant stare of someone whose life was unraveling before them.
He’d burn the world down before he’d lose her, but that was the problem. He already had.
As his gaze held hers captive, he registered that Cammy was still speaking.
She outlined the steps they’d need to take, the documents they’d receive, the training they’d undergo to assume new identities.
“… and while it’ll be an adjustment, the best favor you can do for yourself is to accept that this will be permanent.
The sooner the better. The cartel’s reach is long, their memory longer.
Even after Ruiz is back in custody or, if we’re lucky, dead, his sons will likely carry on with his vendetta.
The feds are fooling themselves thinking they can wipe them off the face of this planet.
Cartels like them are two-headed snakes.
Chop one off and another grows. They never go away.
Do you understand? You won’t ever be truly safe again. You have to disappear.”
He saw the exact moment something in Nadia broke. Her eyes refocused and the color rushed back to her face. Not in relief. She was furious. She took a step backward, then another, her head shaking in short, jerky movements. “No.” The word was quiet and definitive.
“No,” she repeated louder with a tremble of emotion.
“I don’t agree to this. Any of this.” She spoke at Cammy but glared at him, eyes blazing.
Her rage bored into him, her hatred suffocating him like a plastic bag cutting off his air supply before she spun on her heel and stormed outside, the screen door slamming behind her.
He watched her run down the porch and abruptly stop. Bent over, hugging herself, she screamed. Then she ran.
“You should have told her,” Cammy said in the suddenly silent house.
His head pivoted abruptly to the woman who’d cared for him more than his own mother. “It had to come from you. She wouldn’t have listened to me.” But she was right. He should have tried talking to Nadia sooner.
“Go after her then. This is going to be a hard adjustment on you both. But she needs you right now. Talk her through this.”
Because it went without saying that by the time he had tried to speak with James, it had been too late. His brother had and always would despise him.
Thomas didn’t hesitate. He burst onto the porch, following Nadia around the house.
She wasn’t too far ahead. He caught a glimpse of her between the outbuildings, but she was sprinting fast, already halfway across the yard.
She stormed past the paddocks and between the barn and stables toward the open field beyond.
“Nadia!” he shouted, but she didn’t slow down.
By the time he reached the field and they’d traversed well beyond Cammy’s property, Nadia had finally stopped.
She stood bent over, hands on her knees, gasping for breath.
The high noon sun beat down on her, catching the auburn highlights in her hair.
He approached cautiously, his footsteps deliberately heavy so she’d hear him coming.
“Nadia?” He reached out, gently touching her back.
She whirled around, knocking his hand away. Her face was flushed, damp, her eyes glassy with hot tears. “I’m not like you,” she spat, her palms slamming against his chest. She shoved him backward. He stumbled but caught himself. “I can’t turn my back on everyone and disappear.”
“You think I can?” he countered. Despite his attempts at equanimity, his agitation shoved to the front of the line. “You think this is any easier on me?” His mother had lost James once. She’d just lost Phil. Now she was going to lose him.
It went the other way too. He’d likely never see Cammy again. There’d be no chance of reconciliation with James.
Nadia shoved him again, harder this time, both palms connecting with his chest. “We aren’t wired the same. God, every time there’s something good in my life, you ruin it for me!”
The accusation hit him like a physical blow.
He’d spent years telling himself his actions were necessary, justified.
He’d been trying to protect her. But hearing her say it out loud—seeing her pain etched into the lines of her face—made him believe everything he’d convinced himself of had been a misconception.
“You’re right. I screwed up. I made mistakes,” he shouted. “My methods are unorthodox, but they kept my brother alive, and they’ll keep you safe.”
“What have I ever done to you to deserve this?” She was close to screaming at him now, her shouts carrying across the barren landscape. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. I kept your secrets. Every last one of them. But this—to disappear forever? You ask too much.”
She paced frantically, kicking at the dusty ground. “I never asked you to help my mom with the house either. How dare you give up your dreams for me,” she accused, going way back in time. “You hung that over my head for years, making me feel like I owed you.”
“That was never my intention,” he protested.
“What was it that you said to me once? Some lies are better than the truth? You couldn’t have been more right. You should have lied to me about what you did. Scratch that.” She swiped her arms between them. “You never should have told me. I wish I never knew.”
“I never wanted you to feel guilty. I just wanted you to feel safe and loved.”
She stopped pacing and stared at him, incredulous. “What do you know of love? You manipulate people to your will. You do what you think is best for them without ever asking them. And all the while you sacrifice yourself over and over for a family who has never returned your level of devotion. Why?”
His answer came simply, without thought. “Because they’re my family. The only one I have.”
She stalked over to him. “And where do I fit into all this? Why do you always suck me into your drama?”
“Believe me, that’s not intentional either.”
“Then what is it?” She stood directly before him, her eyes boring up into his. “What is it about me?”
The question struck at something deep within him—something he rarely allowed himself to examine.
He let himself feel the weight of everything unspoken between them—years of shared secrets, stolen glances, moments of connection he never allotted time to acknowledge.
But in this moment, with everything falling apart around them, there seemed no point in hiding anymore.
“Love,” he said simply.
A spasm of shock crossed her face at his declaration. She took a half-step back.
“I love you,” he continued, speaking more steadily. “I have for most of my life.”
“What?” Her mouth opened and closed. “You mean as a sister—”
He barked a dry laugh. “I have never thought of you as a sister.”
She blinked, and he watched with intrigue as something she must have convinced herself of was replaced with something akin to amazement. Something, dare he say, closer to awe. “You love me.”
“Always have.” He swallowed roughly and slowly nodded. “Always,” he whispered, his heart wide open for her to slay.
For a suspended moment, she stared up at him. Then, without warning, she closed the distance between them and, grasping his face with both hands, pressed her lips to his in a fierce, desperate kiss.