Chapter 30 #2
“Fine.” The word shot through the car like a bullet. “Do you want me to say that every time I connect with Tom, chaos follows? That my resentment runs so deep I can’t bring myself to engage with him?”
“It would explain why you’re willing to gamble your life and his,” she said coldly. “Because that’s what you were doing when you wouldn’t keep a line of communication open between you.”
His hands gripped the wheel so tight she thought it might snap. “My priority was to protect my family. To get Nat and the kids to a secure location. I couldn’t risk Tom distracting me with his drama.” He exhaled a harsh breath. “Sorry. I’m not angry at you.”
Would that change if she confessed she’d known he hadn’t been dead? That she’d been in on Thomas’s ruse? She should tell him before Nick did. Better to hear directly from her. But she was afraid he wouldn’t let her ride along if he knew the truth.
“Where is your family?” she asked more gently. “Are they safe?”
“They are. For now.” The weariness in his voice betrayed the toll this was taking on him.
She hesitated, then asked a question that had bothered her for years. “Can I ask you something personal about Thomas?”
A pause. “Go ahead.”
“Why is he so protective of your family when… well, you know how your parents were.” Controlling, demanding, manipulative. Neglectful. Abusive. She could go on. “They weren’t the greatest.”
“No, they weren’t,” James agreed darkly.
“So what’s driving him? He puts your family’s needs before his own, puts my needs before his. He’s been like that for as long as I’ve known him.”
James was quiet for a moment. “I’ve never figured that one out other than Tom measures his self-worth through what he can do for others.
Maybe it’s because our parents never did anything for us, him especially.
I always felt unappreciated, and I’m sure he did too.
He took on a surrogate parent role when we were young and I don’t think that responsibility ever left him. ”
“He identifies as being your protector.”
“That about sums it up.”
“He blames himself when things go wrong for people he cares about,” she continued, the realization hitting her as she spoke.
“He feels like he failed to protect the company’s employees and their families from Phil’s schemes.
This crushing sense of responsibility he’s taken on as his own extends well beyond us.
” She paused. “Did you know he convinced your dad to pay off my mom’s mortgage after my dad moved out? ”
James looked at her in surprise. “I didn’t.”
“His sacrifices give him a sense of control, I think.” She was starting to see him more clearly than she ever had before.
Before, her guilt over lying to Aimee, her regret from walking in on Thomas at the funeral home, had clouded what was lying underneath his actions, as outrageous as they’d been.
His own life had been careening out of control.
“I can see that. Our home life wasn’t exactly stable growing up.” He cast her a sideways glance. “What’s between you two?”
She didn’t hesitate answering. “I love him.”
“After everything he’s done?” There was judgment in that question.
“After everything he’s done.”
James didn’t say anything further. He just looked at her, processing her words, and turned his attention back to the road.
They fell silent. It was late, the monotonous landscape of the Central Valley hidden under a cloak of darkness. James shifted in his seat, ran a hand over his head and grasped the back of his neck. The same tell as Thomas when he was in thought or debating whether to ask something difficult.
Then he did.
“How’s Aimee? Is she happy?”
Nadia turned her face to the window, seeing Aimee’s piercing gaze filled with hurt, eyes narrowed with distrust rather than her own reflection.
“She’s happy.” Just not with her.
“And… Ian? Her husband?”
“He’s good to her,” she said carefully. “Good for her.”
Their eyes met and James’s gaze sharpened. He got the message. In her opinion, he never would have lived up to the partner Aimee deserved.
“Thanks for letting me know,” he said.
They drove through the night, arriving in Phoenix a little after nine in the morning. They refueled, grabbed a quick breakfast at a drive-through, and met with Special Agents Carter and Kovacs in the parking lot. They introduced them to their replacements for the next twelve hours.
“Anything yet?” Simone asked James.
He shook his head. He’d sent a text he’d arrived in Phoenix, but updated coordinates had yet to come through.
“So, what now?” Nadia asked. She was jumpy, she couldn’t stand still. Exhaustion, anxiety, and terror warred inside her.
“Now we wait,” Dan said. “Get some sleep.”
“At the hotel where they know he’ll be?” Nadia pointed at James, incredulous.
The coordinates had led them to a Courtyard by Marriott. Unless the Hidalgos were bold enough to meet in the open, which everyone doubted, they took the message for what it was: to wait.
How would she ever manage to sleep when she knew what could be waiting for Thomas and James when she woke?
“Perimeter has been set and we’ll be onsite the entire time,” one of the replacement agents assured her. “You’ll be safe.”
“Phoenix Division has been notified of your arrival,” the other added. “Operational debrief is at seventeen-hundred hours. Unless we get word to move again beforehand. But intelligence coming in indicates they’ll keep you here at least until tonight.”
“Anything on Thomas?” Nadia asked. “Can we assume he’s in Phoenix too?” He could be at the same hotel. Her heart started racing as if wanting to run right to him.
“He’s in Tucson,” Dan replied. “His truck was picked up on traffic surveillance during the night and we’ve been tracking him since.”
Nadia lost all support in her knees and weaved where she stood. Relief, hot, blissful relief, poured into her. He was alive. “Where is he exactly? Can we go to him?”
“No, ma’am, that’s not advisable. Aside from the fact we haven’t received updated coordinates for James, we don’t know what has been communicated to Thomas. We haven’t made contact, but he’s under surveillance. A perimeter has been set up around him.”
“Are we sure he’s being sent to the same place?”
“At this time, we believe so,” Dan said. “We’ll most likely be sent on to Tucson next because it’s closer. For now, we remain here.”
“Closer to what?” James asked pointedly.
“You’ll be briefed this afternoon,” Simone said. “Until then, get some rest. We’re all going to need it.”
Nadia shared a look with James. She didn’t like knowing where Thomas was and not being able to go to him. What if he met up with the Hidalgos before James received his set of coordinates? Thomas could be dead before they even arrived.