Chapter 5
Five
J oe
All the near misses, the flirty conversations, and the innuendo-filled texts over the past fifteen years had led to this moment.
Joe’s head was spinning from all the day’s events and that whopper of a decision he needed to make, but tonight, he didn’t want to think.
He wanted to feel , and he wanted to feel the man standing in front of him, the man he’d dreamed about for so long.
As Leslie stared at Joe’s hand, Joe was taken back to the Goalpost’s parking lot fifteen years earlier.
“Take me with you,” Joe had said, breathlessly. “Let’s see if we’re still this hot without all the conversation.”
Leslie had looked at Joe’s extended hand then and…sighed. He’d clasped Joe’s hand and squeezed.
“I’ve had the best night with you,” he’d said. “And I’m invested, Joe. If I take you back to my hotel, I’m not going to want to let you go, and you’ve made it clear that you’re just getting started. If you really think you are ready to try for something real, let’s go. If you need time—”
“But I want you now. Les, I don’t know where I’m going, what I’m going to be doing…I can’t make you any promises.”
“I know that, and I know I’m going to regret this, but it would be too hard to let you go if we take this any further.”
Joe had never wanted to be tied to anyone, never wanted to settle down, but damn, if Leslie Payton hadn’t been a temptation.
Now they were back in the same position.
They knew each other somewhat better now.
They’d each had years to search for something or someone else, and now, standing before him, Joe felt just like that college kid staring at the gates of heaven and being tempted to step into the light.
Had his circumstances changed? Would Leslie be willing to take a chance on him now?
On this night, Leslie took his hand, letting his much larger fingers slide over Joe’s. He turned Joe’s hand over and ran his thumb over Joe’s palm.
“What’s changed?” Les asked, his voice husky. “I still feel the same. No, that’s wrong. I feel…more.”
Goose bumps erupted over Joe’s skin at Les’s slow, languorous touch.
He’d be lying to himself if he said that he hadn’t hoped something would finally happen between them when Barry’s secretary had asked him to come for Spring Fling.
Or when Les had texted him and asked whether he was coming.
Or when he’d first seen Les slide down out of his monster truck, looking over the roof of Joe’s rental car as if he’d just gotten what he wanted from Santa.
Les was the total package, a man with a big heart, sexy as hell in a “he has no idea” kind of way.
Joe wanted Les to wrap those arms around him and change Joe’s mind, make him give up his running ways.
Because he didn’t know if he had it in himself to stay put, even with this perfect man as incentive.
“What’s changed is that we’re both here now. No interruptions, no missing each other. We’re both grown-ass men who want this. Right? You do want this, don’t you, Leslie?”
“With everything.”
Joe pressed his free hand against Leslie’s beefy chest and ran it up his right pec, loving the way Les trembled under his touch. He dragged his fingers up Leslie’s throat and into his hair, giving the back a gentle tug that elicited a moan.
Leslie’s head fell back and his eyes closed. He sucked in a breath and let it out on a sigh.
“Joe.”
“All of these years I’ve thought about how I would kiss you for the first time.”
Les slowly tilted his head forward and looked down at Joe, a smile splitting his lips. “How?”
Joe moved closer, pressing his body against Les’s much larger one. At 6’4”, Les had about five inches on Joe and about fifty pounds. But Joe knew that he was the one who needed to be careful. He might be slighter, but Les let himself be vulnerable with Joe, and he needed to remember that.
Joe moved Les’s hand to Joe’s lower back and then used his own left hand to run his fingers down Les’s cheek. “I thought maybe our first kiss would be wild, like we’d crash into each other and rip each other’s clothes off.”
Les’s hand tightened against Joe’s lower back and he balled up Joe’s shirt in his fist.
“God, Joe—”
“But now that I’m here—”
“Joe, please. Tell me you’ll take the job, tell me you’re really here.”
Joe froze. “Leslie—”
“I know, I always ruin it by getting too heavy with you, but Joe… It’s been such a long time. What can I do to make you stay?”
Joe took a deep breath and let it out, choosing his words carefully.
“I can’t promise you forever, Leslie, but say I took it. The job. For a year, to start. Could that be enough for you to see what we could be together? To finally touch me?”
Leslie’s eyes flared and he wrapped those strong arms around Joe so tight. It was exactly what Joe was looking for. It was the invitation he needed.
Joe brushed his lips over Les’s with his eyes open, wanting to savor every bit of the contact he’d waited fifteen years for. Now that it was happening, his heart was ready to take a flying leap out of his chest and his knees were dangerously close to collapsing.
Les blinked and gazed at Joe like he was a fresh-baked cookie his mom had forbidden him to take but he couldn’t resist the taste. He moved his hands to cradle Joe’s jaw and pressed his forehead to Joe’s.
“It would be a start.”
Joe thought of all the romantic overtures Les had made over the years.
Once he’d had Joe’s hotel room filled with roses when Joe had had a rough show, and there was the time after a particularly bad audition that Joe’s ride hadn’t shown up and he was about to be late for a flight out of San Francisco.
Les had dropped everything to drive him to the airport and Joe was so thrilled, he almost said to hell with the flight and begged Leslie to take him to his home.
Joe wished he could be as giving, as generous, as loving.
He wished he was enough for Leslie Payton.
He thought maybe, just maybe, he was closer now…
“Then let’s start,” Joe said, giving Les the permission he knew Les needed.
And it paid off.
He couldn’t breathe as Les consumed him, kissing him so deeply it took Joe by surprise.
Les crushed Joe to his chest and made deep swipes with his tongue, leaving Joe breathless.
Joe smiled as Leslie dipped down to suck on his throat, thinking Les controlled the kiss the way he orchestrated his offense.
He called the shots, he knew where everything was supposed to be, and Joe didn’t want to put up any defense.
Leslie moaned as he turned Joe’s back to the wall, adjusting his stance and bending his knees to get closer to Joe’s level.
Joe was trapped and loving it because it was Leslie. If anyone else had him pinned against the wall, he would have fought to be free, but he trusted Les with his life and wanted Les just as desperately as Les wanted him .
Joe went to work on the zipper of Leslie’s jacket, trying to force the thick down parka over his shoulders, but Les caught his hands and held them in one of his over their heads.
He sucked at Joe’s lips, further paralyzing Joe in the most delicious way, and Leslie stroked his tongue, leaving Joe panting and ready to combust. He wanted skin, he wanted teeth, he wanted —
“God,” Les moaned, pulling back. “That was so much better than I imagined. On all of my sleepless nights I never imagined this would finally happen, that I’d have you like this. You were a fantasy, and now—”
“And now I’m wondering why you’re stopping,” Joe whined, trying to make below-the-belt contact, anything to relieve the ache…the need.
Leslie kissed him twice, searching his eyes for what, Joe had no idea. Joe could only imagine the wanton picture he made, his lips deep red, his cheeks splotchy from the contact… Then Leslie kissed him a third time and stepped completely away, leaving Joe in agony.
“Why?” Joe finally asked.
Leslie ran his hands through his hair. “Give me a second,” he said with a laugh. “I’m having pregame jitters.”
Joe snorted. “Really. Big, bad Leslie Payton getting jitters over Twinkle Toes Joe Judd.” He rolled his eyes and adjusted himself.
“Stop it,” Leslie said in that soft voice, the way he got when he was about to scold. Don’t put yourself down, Joe. Don’t ever consider yourself less-than. “I think I should put the brakes on is all.”
Joe wanted to hurl himself at Les, his brain chanting the cheer “sack that quarterback, said sack that quarterback.” He was willing to do just about anything to get Les to give up his chivalrous ways and get back to the touching part of the evening, preferably with no clothes in the way.
Instead, Joe ran his hands through his hair and straightened his shirt.
“Wow, didn’t realize I was so resistible.”
“Joe—”
“No, I get it,” he said, holding up a hand as he attempted to compose himself.
“I do. You’ve made it very clear over the years that sex outside of a committed relationship was a no for you.
I’m sorry if I pushed you.” And made a fool of myself.
Thankfully he hadn’t begged, but he knew, if left unchecked, his now-unbridled libido would have forced him to his knees in front of Leslie.
“Joe, stop it. You did nothing but be honest with me and that’s what I appreciate about you. Always have. I just couldn’t take it if—”
And that was just it. Joe had run away from him so many times, had panicked and canceled potential meetups. Who could blame Leslie for stepping back?
“I know.” Les was the most in-touch-with-his-feelings guy Joe had ever met. Despite his superstardom, Leslie Payton was grounded in a way that Joe had been running from his whole life.
Feelings. Ew.
What Joe would admit was that if he ever opened himself up to feelings for someone, it would be Leslie Payton.
He just hadn’t been ready or willing to go all in with the whole picket-fence shit he knew Les dreamed about.
And it had nothing to do with wanting to keep his options open, he just didn’t want to be that open with anyone.
Like Slipknot so eloquently put it, “People = Shit.” Joe didn’t trust anyone.
Well, except Leslie. He’d proved over the years that he was trustworthy.
But Joe didn’t trust himself either, and until he could honestly say, “I’m here and I’m staying,” he had no business hopping into bed with Les.
Dammit.